All comics by BlackhawkTC

Profile

 

by BlackhawkTC
8-23-01
Hi. I'm Captain Valis, and I run Trinity Station.
I'm Reina Madelia, the station's first officer.
IM RIN STARLIGHTAERS CHAEF OF SECRUITY
I'm Jonathan Ak'sheil Sh'don, and that's a fagot if I ever saw one.
I'm Commander K'urso, of the Klingon delegation.
I'm the commander of the Romulans, and if I don't get a better avatar quick heads will roll.

 

by BlackhawkTC
8-23-01
Pot.
Ale.
Honor.
An open mind.
FAGGORTRY!
Phasers.

 

by BlackhawkTC
4-06-02
Durandal meets the Immortal Police
IMMORTAL POLICE stops in teh naem of teh LAWS!
What the hell?
DON'T TYPE TEH COMMAND FAGOT
l33t hax0r time.
AAHHHH FAGOT YUO = SITEBANNED
Shut the hell up, you don't even know what a siteban is.

 

by BlackhawkTC
4-06-02
I AM MISTAR IMORTAL CODER DON'T QUITS ON SHIPS OR I WILL BANS YUO!
?
YUO HEARDS ME FAGOT
Why the hell don't you just do your job and fix it?
OMG HONNEYS COME TO BED PLESE
Never mind.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
When Fiona Met Gerbilsky
I AM LEUTNENANT GERBISNKI
Hi.
ACTUALLY I AM COMMANDER GERBNISKIY
Uhh...
I HAVE A BIG WILLY!
...Security?

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
And then he was all "I have a big willy" and I called for Security. Then I remembered that I am security.
Really?
Oh god, here he comes. I gotta go.
Where?
HI I AM ADIMSIRAL GERBINSSKIY
Christ, boy! Does that hurt?

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
I AM FLEET ADMIRAL GERBILFAG
Really?
WHO ARE YOU
I'm Supreme Admiral of Starfleet Delaney.
WELL THEN I'M-
It doesn't go any higher, you stupid fuck.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
I FIXED SICKBAY IN TWO MINUTES
Must... control... phaser of death!
I want to kill him.
Don't do it. It's not worth it.
HAHAHA LOOK I FIXED THE TOILETS TOO
On second thought, go for it.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
Hey, Colonel.
Hey, Troy. What's up?
I don't think this Darwin stuff is going to work out.
Why not?
The lieutenant requests permission to castrate Gerbinsky, sir.
Granted.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
And then he's all "I FIXED IT ALL BY MYSELF".
Wow.
Hmm.
Does he have "limited mental abilities"?
Pardon me while I laugh hysterically.
Of course.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
WE ARE THE SPACE ROBOTS
WE ARE HERE TO PROTECT YOU
OMG ROBOTS
DO YOU HAVE STAIRS IN YOUR HOUSE
Where's Gerbinsky, M1? I get nervous when he disappears for long periods of time.
GERBINSKY IS PROTECTED

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
Gerbilfag has a way with women.
I HAVE TELEPATHY
I have a phaser.
YOU HAVE BOOBIES TOO
God, you are so lucky I'm a sworn pacifist.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-11-02
HEY LIEUTENANT
Get away from me.
BUT I WANT TO TALK
You're mentally unable to hold an intelligent conversation. Go away.
DOES THIS MEAN I'M NOT GONNA GET LAID
Only if I kill you.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-12-02
Hi, and welcome to Fleet Station Sigma. I'm Captain Troy Archer.
And I'm Colonel Vladimov.
I'm Commodore Warren. I can't decide if I want to be here or not.
I'm Cassie Lucas, the cartographer and resident genius. Wanna watch Star Wars?
She's seen it 8,000 times.
More like 9,000, actually.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-12-02
I'm a Hadai pirate. Yarr.
You don't yarr, you stupid fuck. You're a space pirate. Oh yeah, I'm Sergeant Radichek.
I'm Chief Plumley.
ROFL WHAT KIND OF NAME IS PLUMLEY
A better kind of name than Gerbil, I do believe.
IT'S GERBINSKY OR GREBINSKY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOT GERBIL YOU FAG! god it burns

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-12-02
This is some good chow.
We never ate this good in the Corps. It must be a setup.
A setup?
I bet Vladimov put something in the salad.
Sergeant? Are you all right?
I hate it when I'm right.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
Hello. How are you?
Uhm.. Fine, thanks. What race are you?
Hello. How are you?
Wait a second.
STUPUID UNIVERSAL TARNSLATOR! SHE WAS TALKIGNS TO ME!
Must... resist... destruction...

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
HELLO EVERYBODY! WE AT PETA WISH YUO TO NEVER EAT ANIMAL MEAT AGAIN!
ARTSY PEOPLE SAY NO TO MEAT!
MEAT IS MURDER!
I now reveal my secret identity.
The disguise removed, Delaney is free to act.
OMG IT BURNS
Join PETA. People for the Extermination of Total Asshats.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
Bashaard faces a quandary.
Hmm. Should I try to defeat the Vulcan disease, or drink my coffee?
Sir? They're breaking through the doors! What should we do?
Drink my coffee.
AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEE!
Damn, I'm good.
*rending of flesh*

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
I suppose I actually better do something now that my coffee is gone.
Commander, S'Lara just woke up and went bonkers!
Okay, I know what I'm doing. I can figure this out.
Commander?
Inspiration strikes like a hammer-blow to the back of the head.
Maybe if I just kill the Vulcan this woman will let me go get some more coffee. Must have caffeine...
...Commander?

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
I'm Jenny Spade. I see dead people.
What kind of people, now?
Dead people.
Okay.
Dead people, God dammit! I see them! Pay attention to me!
Well, as long as the dead people keep their freakin' mitts off my muffins and coffee, I won't have to S'Lara them.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
2369: Bashaard's senior year at Starfleet Academy: The Kobayashi Maru Command Aptitude Test
Captain, the Klingons are firing! What should we do? Captain? CAPTAIN!
Damn, this is some good coffee.
2375: Classified Assignment, The Meridian Project
Commander, the core is overheating! If you don't give us some orders the core will self-destruct and the project will be ruined!
I sure do loves me some coffee.
2378: Veryn Outpost
You killed her!
That's right, and I'll fucking kill you too if you don't let me finish my coffee in peace.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
Bashaard opens the outer door looking for coffee.
*squish*
I hope that squish wasn't another tentacular grontox from the swamp like the last time someone left the door open.
I don't get paid enough for this.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
Here we 'ave a beautiful example of a Traiuian sand dragon! They live on the Traiuian planetary flag!
Oh, 'e's a feisty one!
*snif*
Well, actually he's been out of work since Shen shut down Trinity Station and he's kind of depressed.
*sob*

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-13-02
So what happened to Trinity after I left the last time? I thought you were there.
It was Shen. Remember how he was gonna get married to the exec?
Yeah?
She broke it off and he activated the self-destruct and locked it on in a fit of self-pity.
He self-destructed the station over a woman?
Hell hath no fury like a dumbass scorned.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-23-02
So let me get this straight.
What don't you understand?
You take Gerbinski, the 'stupid one', away for free, and we get to go back to being intelligent?
That's the idea.
There's no catch, is there?
Hey, I'm a humanitarian.

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-23-02
Captain to Gerbinski.
OMG I RPACTICE MY TELEPATHY!
Sure. Sure you do. Report to Transporter Room Three.
WHY
Gerbilfag's telepathy fails him.
Because there's candy.
WOW CANDY!

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-23-02
WAIT WHAT AREY OU DOING
You are the Stupid One, correct?
NO!
Really?
I AM TELEPATHIC!
Torture time.

 

by BlackhawkTC
4-21-03
Gaydar 2.0
I'm telling you, I'm sure he's gay. I need you to use your Gaydar to find out for sure.
No problem. Let's take a look, here.
That's THUPER!
NGGGGGGk!
So what'd you find out?
I'm not sure. My gaydar jammed up as soon as I saw him and it hasn't worked right since.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-02-03
So, Tower and Drago and other guys asked for our help.
What now?
They want us to help them fight some guys.
Denied. Hey, Art. Here's a hammer and a nail. Put the pointy end of the nail to your head and hit it with the hammer.
OW! GOD!
I can't believe you actually did it.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-02-03
An epiphany.
Hi, Finn. I just realized. Every time you wear the goalie mask, something horribly painful involving bleeding and the death of innocents happens to me.
That's because it's the goalie mask of death. Hang on a second for me?
Goalie mask of... Oh, shit.
I warned him.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-02-03
LOL I LUEV YUO SEXSALVE YIFF MONSTER
fap fap fap fap fap
Meet Sexslave Yiff Monster.
Prepare for brain melting, faggot.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-02-03
To recap: What 'SLAVER DOOM' hopes Sexslave Yiff Monster looks like.
What 'Sexslave Yiff Monster' really looks like.
What Sexslave Yiff Monster does in his spare time (REFERENCE POINT)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO GOD! AAHHHH! MY BRAIN IS MELTING!
You're a pathetic sheep, Mabus!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-02-03
i want u 2 suk my dick
I'm male, you stupid fuck. You fell for it completely. You must have the brain of a pea.
can I suk urs then?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-02-03
Jonathan, I think your AI has a problem with its holographic matrix.
What the hell makes you say that, Sera?
His matrix develops a funny irregularity in the groinal area whenever he sees me.
That... Uh, that... That just means he likes you.
God dammit. I'm a warship. I'm not equipped psychologically to deal with this shit.
The psychological issue's not the one I worry about...

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-02-03
Finn, I think we may have a problem.
You're telling me. This is the last beer on the entire fucking ship. What's up?
I think my AI is horndog for your AI.
...Jon, if that's a metaphor for your newly-discovered rampant homosexuality, I'm going to slit your throat.
No, you fucking moron. Tarrock likes Sera in a way which could be described as slightly more than platonic.
...Your shitty cargo hauler is in love with my shiny new frigate. Now I've heard everything.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-03-03
May 3, 2003. Furcadia.
Suaper Mega Dooem Hrose: I HAEV A BIG WILLY
Pretty Petite Rocker Chick: I WIL SUK UR BIG WILY
The apparent reality: The dumb one is attempting to mate withe the stupid one.
Suaper Mega Dooem Hrose: UNF UFN UNF UNF UNF
Pretty Petite Rocker Chick: OMG IT SO BIG
Now, to the real world we go.
YES! I SCORED A HOT CHICK! WOOOO!
fap fap fap fap

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-03-03
Stereotyping.
hi
hi
me so horny
suckee suckee five dolla
We love fulfilling our stereotype, although we sure don't look very Asian.
I'm American Indian. Asian my ass.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-03-03
I think we look more Eskimo, really.
Would you fucking shut up with the racial shit?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-03-03
Felorin goes on vacation.
Wow, swimming the reef is fun!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-03-03
Talzhemir is on vacation with Felorin.
lol i wonder if Felorin swam over here

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
hear I am, FLEET ADMIRAL GERRBILINSKI, reduecd to cleaning spaec station hulls!1111
i wonder why the little gauge marked "Oxy" is in the red
WOAH WHO ARE YOU!!!1?1?1
Change your oxygen tank, douchebag.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
wow, that was weird, i wonder what it meant
WOW HOLY SHIT!
YOU SUCK
OH MR. GHOST, WHY MUST WE ALWAYS FIGHT
Change your oxygen tank, you hallucinating asshat.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
god this is trippy, like the time I stuck my head in an EPS conduit
CHANGE YOUR OXYGEN TANK, ASSHOLE!
WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME, FOOTY-HEAD!?
GERBINSKI, DO YOU COPY? CHANGE YOUR OXYGEN TANK!
What the fuck is his problem!?
Gerbinski, are you fucking hearing me? Change your motherfucking oxygen tank before you die and I have to fill out a fucking report!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
So basically he's out on the hull with no oxygen.
Why is this my problem, exactly?
If he dies we have to fill out a shitload of reports.
But if he dies our lives become easier.
I can't make you do it. We could get a beer or something.
Shut up and let me think about whether or not paperwork is better than Gerbinski.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
WHOOO I FEEL LIKE THERE'S A PARTY IN MY SPACESUIT AND EVERYONE'S INVITED
Boy! Hey, asshole! Over here, at the airlock!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOO
HEY! FUCKNUGGET!
eeeoooooo
Don't make me come out there, boy.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
Hi, Gerbinski.
Uh... Lieutenant?
There's something different about him today. He seems less annoying, more personable.
He's a frozen block of ice. His suit life support gave out and we're thawing him.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
Hmm hmm hmm.
Oh, shit.
*squish*
Welcome to Japan.
AAAAAAUUUHHHHHGGG!
*SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH*

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
Racism!
NIGGER!
:(
Not racism!
SUP BITCH!
HEY NIGGA!
What the fuck?
SCUM!
VERMIN!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
Racism!
Hay man!
Sup, darkie?
Not racism!
Sup, cracker?
:(
No, seriously, what the fuck is going on in these third panels?
Clownshoes!
Fuck you, cocksmoker!

Showing page 3.

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