All comics by Buttonman

Profile

 

by Buttonman
8-17-05
Planning for tomorrow...
I am The Jackson. I am beloved by everyone! Cheatum cheated. I shouldn't be made to leave the AWF for 60 days!
I am Cowboy Billy Wayne. I saw that match. Cheetum didn't cheat ya. You should pay off your stipulation like a man!
But the PEOPLE want to see me. Nobody can have a show without me. I am THE Jackson! The Lil' Shooter! 5'4" of lit dynamite!
Face it Lil' Shooter. You done been shot down by BIG Steve Cheetum!
This isn't over with. They can't treat me like this! Wait a minute. What does this have to do with you??
It's simple. While you're on suspension, all the girls will love ME. Because I'm smarter, I'm cuter and I like myself!

 

by Buttonman
8-17-05
Butch lives in Port St Jo and loves wrestling. Lately though, some guy named JOEY IMAGE has been raining on Butch's parede. Butch hates rain and loves parades.
Joey Image not like rednecks. Joey Image not like the south.
Joey Image not like GAWF or Skip Skipperman who pay Butch to beat up people.
Joey Image must be taught lesson. Butch is GOOD Teacher. teach Joey Image that ALL Yankees stupid.

 

by Buttonman
8-18-05
Two wrestling fans overheard in the bathroom in Chipley
Dude, why are you hanging around in the bathroom? You've been here for like 3 solid DAYS! What's up with that?
I'm looking for Curtis Leroy, Mercury McCloud, Dan Delicious and Buff Bagwell, Mr Fantasy, Cousin Cledus and Mountain Man!
What? Are you insane? Have you flipped your lid?
Not at all. I've been hanging out on the messages boards at GulfCoast Wrestling.com ...
Ok. I'll bite. What do message boards and the bathroom have in common?
Just the other day, I read that local indy wrestling is 'in the toilet. I figured this would be a good place to get some autographs

 

by Buttonman
8-19-05
Vicky The Valkyrie has just graduated from school and now contemplates her future
I've always wanted to be a Professional Wrestler
The Valkyrie gimmick is a pretty sound one.
?
Yeah, you're right, you would make a good manager. The AWF is always looking for new talent

 

___________________________________________________________________________
I can't be the only wrestler who carries his gimmick in a paper bag
But you are the only wrestler who includes a 24 inch butcher knife as part of his gimmick.
by Buttonman, 8-19-05

 

by Buttonman
8-21-05
Dandy Jack is looking for new wrestlers...
I hear you're looking for a manager for when you come to the AWF.
You don't think that the crowd in Chipley will be a little put-off by a kangaroo with a sub-machinegun?
Let me put it another way... You're looking for a manager for when you come to the AWF...
I'll get back to you.

 

by Buttonman
11-02-05
GAWF is looking for new Wrestlers...
My name is Skip Skipperman and I understand you are a professional Wrestler...
Yep. They call me The Burglar. My finishing move is "The Smash And Grab."
And you are willing to drive down here to Port St. Jo to entertain our fans for only a small amount of money?
Don't worry about the money. I just LOVE wrestling! The roar of the crowd gives me a woodie.
Our next show is November 5th.
Can't wait.

 

by Buttonman
11-02-05
Fans discuss the NEW GAWF
Did you hear about the new wrestlers GAWF has coming in for the Nov 5th show?
No I haven't but since this is a shameless promo in cartoon form, please enlighten me.
Well, last show Nick Bondage wrestled The Little Shooter, Kory Jackson...
And Chief Ironclaw and Chris Cody were there and will be returning...
I am THE JACKSON! Gotta love me! I heard my name mentioned..
And I am SEYMOUR, your new Tag Team Partner. We are going to TOTALLY kick boooty!

 

by Buttonman
2-01-06
Beam me up Scotty. It's raining cats and dogs down here

 

by Buttonman
5-18-06
Johnny Angel and The Promoter get together for a conversation...
Now let me get this straight. Buttonman deleted your message board, closed your web site, hijacked your email and slandered your dog?
You got that right.
Wow. he's a pretty easy going guy. What did you do to him?
Nothing. I just "told it like it is."
Wow. you must really be cheesed off. How are you going to pay him back for all these high crimes and misdomeanors?
I'm going to run a wrestling show in Sampson, Alabama. that'll teach him to mess with me.

 

by Buttonman
5-18-06
That night at the national Guard Armory in Noma...
Did T00!
Did NOT!
You're a BUM!
You're a BIGGER BUM!
Yar! What was THAT all about? Are Buttonman and Silver Fox FIGHTING again?
Don't worry about WRESTLING right now, Mr Carter. Time for your shot. By the way, cool PIRATE Gimmick!

 

by Buttonman
5-18-06
Ten minutes before the show, in Mossy Head, in the hallway...
Say, aren't you that wrestler, "The MEDIC?" I really dig your GIMMICK!
Actually, no. I am a real doctor, hired by UPHW and GAWF to stand by in case of emergency.
So Why are you all covered with blood?
Well, I actually had to perform an operation tonight. It was grisly and time consuming.
Oh My God! You had to amputate something off someone?
Close. I had to cut Buttonman out of a CHAIR with Arms on it after he ate 6 hot dogs with onions!

 

by Buttonman
5-19-06
"The Neighbor" is a local wrestling guru...
I hear you know a lot about local Pro Wrestling. True?
I've been known to have names and dates in my head from time to time.
So help me decide between Samson and Defuniak. WFW/AWF or SPW?
Well, WFW/AWF Samson is on June 9th, and SPW Defuniak Springs is on June 10th. That's two different days, Capice?
So you're saying go to both shows and have a double weekend of wrestling, right?. How'd you get so "smart?"
From hanging out with Johnny Angel, of course.

 

by Buttonman
5-22-06
So, Johnny Angel. I see you worked security at the AWF / Mobile Show with Hacksaw Jim Duggan as special guest star.
Yeah. That's true. Sword came in handy too. Wade Garrett and Nightmare went flipping berserk.
I hear you will be working security for OSW on the 10th of June as well, is that true?
That's what the schedule says.
That's going to be a pretty busy weekend for you. Samson on the 9th and OSW on the 10th. What are you going to do about the AWF Firefighter show on the 10th?
Uh-oh! Am I triple booked? Let me get BACK to you on that one!

 

by Buttonman
5-22-06
Capitol One Commercial Take One...
Now Fabian, when I step out of the panel and say ACTION! You repeat your lines, OK?
Yes Sir, Mr. Director, I got it.
ACTION!
Now that Capitol One is in banking our plundering days are over, Bruddah!
Um. Let's try that again without the extra word...

 

by Buttonman
5-22-06
So I did this commercial for Capitol One, you know, "What's in YOUR Wallet... You don't suppose they will TYPECAST me as a Viking do you?
THE JACKSON pretty much doesn't care about what happens to you, Fabian. He's just looking for WOMEN!
So I did this commercial...
Could you help me get Kory Jackson's autograph?
"...what's in your wallet..."
I will beat you within an inch of your life you insane wrestler you! My walking stick came from Buttonman!

 

by Buttonman
5-23-06
Backstage at AWF Mobile, Johnny Angel faithfully guards the locker room hallway...
I am a lean, mean wrestling security machine, well oiled and ready for toil...
Can you get Doink The Clown to sign my autograph book?
So, Tyler, tell me what happened again...
I - uh - think I accidentally made Johnny Angel burst into flames.

 

by Buttonman
5-24-06
What I want to know is why these promotions around here don't have more women wrestlers.
What about Curtis Leroy, Red Anderson, Dan Delicious, Tyrone Holly or Rainbow Warrior?
Allright, let me rephrase the question. Why don't local promotions have more FEMALE wrestlers? Everybody loves a good cat fight.
Well I couldn't agree with you more. As a referee, I love matches featuring female wrestlers.
It has nothing to do with their wrestling abilities though, does it?
Puppies...

 

by Buttonman
5-25-06
I have a really good explanation for doing a hundred miles an hour, officer. I just had a bouncing baby boy.
I seriously doubt that, Mr. Skipperman. Don't you mean that your wife just had a bouncing baby boy and you're now a daddy?
Of course that's what I mean. it's been a trying day, what with getting ready for my next wrestling show and all.
Ah. that's right. You are the GAWF promoter, right?
I surely am. Would you like some tickets to the next GAWF extravaganza in ALTHA on June 3rd?
Sure, Why not? And Mr. Skipperman, no more speeding, OK? Be sure to return Hollywood Star's tricycle to him ASAP. He reported it missing.

 

by Buttonman
5-26-06
The ladies love Mr. Fantasy... how they do...
Mr. Fantasy I am soooo into you!
I know. I am into me too.
I just think you're the smoothest, handsomest, most debonaire man in the world. I want you to meet my sister. You guys will click..
bring her on. I am down with ALL the Babes in the world. I am every woman's dream.
Honey PIE! Come to BUNNY!!
yaaghhhhhhhh

 

by Buttonman
5-28-06
Sunday Morning TV Wrestling Fan Interviews...
Wasn't that hardcore match in Mossy Head last night the most intense thing you've ever seen?
It was pretty radical the way Terry Ryker had a dollar bill stapled to his forehead and then got slammed through a table full of thumbtacks.
What was your favorite Mossy Head match last night, Erick? Say... Wasn't your hair PINK?
My favorite match was Delicious VS Fantasy. I am a "DAN FAN" I dyed my hair to shodw my support.
Johnny Angel, would you recommend UPHW Mossy Head to Hardcore wrestling fans?
Not qualified to answer. I had to stay home and mow the grass.

 

by Buttonman
5-29-06
Dance of the Wrestling Tycoons...
I "tell it like it is."
I support you 100%, no matter how raunchy or tasteless the messages on your board become.
I believe I have the constitutional right to say anything I like about anybody whether it is true or false, no matter who it hurts.
I'm rolling in money because I have a good job and the sense to run good shows, but I don't credit those who helped get me here.
No matter how dispicibly I behave toward the rest of professional Wrestling, I expect everyone to respect me.
I bailed on the Samson show because $5000 in the hand is worth more than $500 in the Farm Country.

 

by Buttonman
5-30-06
At the GAWF Snack Bar all food is fresh...
I'll have a double hamburger with lots of onions mustard and ketchup.
Umm could you make that burgr RARE?
It'll just be another minute. Cow keeps slipping off the rope.

 

by Buttonman
5-31-06
The lovely Miss Fire is aa year older and wiser...
Happy Birthday Miss Fire. My name is Evil Leather Guy and I will be your stripper for this evening
I must compliment you on your hotness this evening. Many happy returns and may every birthday be a GREAT one!
By the way, I am also a Professional Wrestler and I REALLY want a match with Curtis Leroy. What say you?

 

by Buttonman
6-01-06
AWF Mobile struggles withshow date conflicts...
I know we had a show scheduled for June 10th to benefit the Wilmer Fire Dept, but we may have to change that date...
We are negotiating with a former WWF Superstar. We want to have the best show possible for such a worthy cause... And we're looking for great local talent as well...
EVIL Leather guy AT your Service, oh multi-talented clown-promoter, sir!

 

by Buttonman
6-04-06
Spiderman. I saw you taking pictures the other night at Percy Pringle's GSW show. How did you like the event?
It was a TERIFFIC show. One of the best in the Gulf Coast area this year! more than 750 fans in a clean, air-conditioned gym in Citronelle. LOVED IT!
Madd Dawg, Amigo You rode over to Citronelle with Buttonman. It was your FIRST GSW show ever. How did you like it?
Kornbred was AWESOME! Marcel Pringle got his booty kicked by Adrian Street, Jerry Reiner LOST the 10 man battle royal and Percy was given a key to the city!
Dawg, brother! Did you just get interviewed by a pink DONKEY?
You meant that was an ACTUAL pink Donkey? I thought I was having a Poweraide induced LSD flashbact to 1968!

 

by Buttonman
6-05-06
You're the XW-2000 guy, right?
That would be me. I am here in Citronelle tonight to see how Percy Pringle runs wrestling shows. He IS a legend, you know.
Well here's a tip for you sonny. Don't EVER try to book a building for a future wrestling show while the present show is still in the building and running. You could get killed.
And who are YOU to tell me what to do, Elderly lady?
I'm your worst nightmare, boy! I'm an 89 year old woman with a stick, a 9th degree black belt and a crush on Ricky Rocket. KeeeeeeYA!!

 

by Buttonman
6-06-06
It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood...
This can't be right. There's only supposed to be one of me.
Look at the date. It's 6-6-06. Weirdness shall abound today.
A beautiful day for a neighbor...
I'm looking for Skipperman. I'm the new booker he hired to whip the locker room into shape.
For THAT I would take up wrestling.
Or not...
Wrestling must have CHAOS in order to survive.
I truthfully don't want to hear it.

 

by Buttonman
6-06-06
When wrestlers and fans converse...
My big brother said wrestling is fake.
Your big brother is wrong, Mikey. LIFE is fake. Wrestling is REAL!
Oh yeah? Then how come I saw you and Kory Jackson in Wal Mart the other day laughing and talking. You two HATE each other!
It's a new strategy, Mikey. I butter him up and pretend to be his friend and then DESTROY him in the ring.
Well, my MOMMA said wrestling is fake too.
Your MOMMA wears combat boots, Goober.

 

by Buttonman
6-07-06
Dialog with fans continues...
I know you. I've seen you before.
Wy, yes, little female wrestling fan. I am Evil Leather Guy, Outlaw Biker extraorinaire.
No you're not. You're Riki Idol, self proclaimed "World's Sexiest Man." You are scheduled to do XW-2000 in Century, FL.
Well, I AM sexy, but you must have me confused for some other handsome devil. I am Evil Leather Guy...
Come off it Riki. I saw you wrestle at Club Casino. I could never forget a mug like that.

 

by Buttonman
6-08-06
Johnny Angel is upset because The Promoter's Message Board is gone...
Bob, you TOOL! You deleted The Promoter's message board again. You are dispicible.
You are an idiot. Boards To Go has a SERVER down and more than ten thousand message boards are off line.
If you slap a dog long enough even if you're playing games the dog will bite you.
All the more reason to shut the %#$% up before I go ROTTWEILER on your sorry a##
I WILL TELL THE TRUTH! I WILL BE HEARD!
Then tell the truth about how much booze you've consumed tonight, OTIS.

 

by Buttonman
6-09-06
Johnny Angel Calls Bob out...
We're going to settle this once and for all. Just you and me and my sword.
So you're thinking to carve me up or do me in or some such thing as that? I don't think so.
One of the basic elements of cartoon physics is the fast-moving semi-tractor trailer truck you never see coming.
The boy obviously forgot who the cartoonist is around here.

 

by Buttonman
6-10-06
The "Promoter" is sacked by AWF...
You are fired. Nothing personal, just business.
But WHY? We were so good together!
Well, let's see. You mumble on the microphone, no-sell the spots you do, are in everybody's business and the fans hate you.
But other than that, why?
The workers can't stand to be around you, you sold knives after you were told not to and you brought more heat on the promotion than Hell itself.
You know that payback's gonna be a bitch, right?

 

by Buttonman
6-10-06
Shortly after Johnny Angel's untimely death...
Welcome to Hell, Mr. Angel.
Hell? i am an angel. how in blue blazes did I get here?
What is the last thing you remember?
Armm... Bob was talking about Trailer trucks and we were standing on an road and ... Shazbot!
You know I used to be Beelzebub until I tried to capture the cartoonist's soul. Now look at me. I am a PINK DONKEY for corn's sake!
You know, I am beginning to sense a pattern here...

 

by Buttonman
6-11-06
Johnny Angel, recently deceased, finds hinself in Hell...
This is completely unsatisfactory. i do not belong in Hell. I am an ANGEL! I demand to speak to GOD right now!
Remember, you asked for it.
You rang?
Very funny, Donkey. How do you think you would get along as a HEADLESS donkey. See the sword? I know how to use it.
Ringing up Heaven right now. Don't get your jockeys in a bunch. Angels can't take a rib...

 

by Buttonman
6-11-06
God answers Johnny Angel's request for a conference...
You know... i never get that kind of response when I need a conference.
You're a ...duck? OK I get it. A lesson in humility. If God appears as a duck, then i have to act more like an angel. Wow. Some metaphors really tax the brain.
Actually, that's only part of it. You are going back to earth and back to wrestling. I have an important mission for you.
Ok. Shoot. You know I am a task oriented guy. Whatever you need...
From now on you will not be known as Johnny Angel, but as "Security Angel." You will protect fans at shows acting as as Security.

 

by Buttonman
6-11-06
"Security Angel's conference with God continues...
OK. Me, a hero. Cool. I can work that. Any special instructions?
Not really. just be yourself until it counts. Your secret identity will be Mickey G. mild mannered family man and professional heckler of message boards.
I can do that.
But when duty calls, whether at OSW, AFW or even SPW, you answer the call as SUPER SECURITY, good example for everyone! now go forth and secure!
Later, back on Earth...
Didn't I just kill you?
I'm an angel, Baby! Deal with it.

 

by Buttonman
6-11-06
Security Angel sees Eric at OSW ...
Erick, did you know that God sometimes appears as a duck?
Actually, I did.
Oh...
I answer all questions like that the same way. It usually prevents a second question even dumber than the first
What was that all about?
God only knows.

 

by Buttonman
6-12-06
Overheard in a bathroom in a Pensacola Trailer Park.
Hey! What's the latest DISH? You musht know some good gosship. I'm a little drunk. Want a snort?
I've already had my bottle of Jack tonight, but have you heard the latest?
Yeah. GIVE IT UP. Tell it like it is *hic*
Buttonman gave money to the WILMER FIRE DEPARTMENT! Right after that AWF fired ME! It Must have been a BRIBE! He's EVIL!
Why flush? The offal is standing on the floor.
*Hic* Lesh KILL the bum!
No. I have a better idea, let's INSULT ALL HIS FRIENDS. That'll teach him to not give money to worthy causes or friends.

 

by Buttonman
6-13-06
Interview conducted at a recent wrestling show...
That's an unusual gimmick. Who are you?
I am the ghost of West Florida Wrestling. I haven't been alive since the late 90's.
Why beat a dead horse when there are so many great promotions serving fans every weekend?
Because WRESTLING IN THE PANHANDLE IS ALL ABOUT ME! ME! ME!
CRIKEY! what a grouch!
And let that be a lesson to you. WFW will rise again as soon as someone dumb enough to foot the bill comes along!

 

by Buttonman
6-13-06
At a furure UPHW show...
I am Madd Dawgg, Masked Indie Wrestling Fan!
I am Gargoyle, Masked Indie Wrestling Fan!
It's ON...
MADD DAWGG!!
GARGOYLE!!!
After an hour of fighting...
That was HARD CORE! Let's do it again!
Let's go get a beer first.

 

by Buttonman
6-14-06
Lenny talks to the GREAT Honkey Tonk Man...
Hey HONKEY TONK MAN! Is it true that you are the greatest Intercontinental Champion of ALL TIME?
Yeah Baby It's completely true.
Is it true that you are appearing in SEMMES ALABAMA on Friday, June 23rd to wrestle to benefit tha Wilmir Alabama Volunteer Fire Department?
ABSOLUTELY, BABY! We're going to ROCK THE HOUSE and MAKE MONEY FOR CHARITY. Woooooo
And are you goig to stop by Buttonman's table and buy a button with a picture of Doink the Clown on it?
Whose table? I dunno, Baby. Why not? I like Doink The Clown.

 

by Buttonman
6-15-06
If Buttonman thought his troubles were behind him, he reckoned without the littlest GAWF staffer...
Why are you looking at me like that, little baby?
I'm mad at you. You deleted my daddy's links right off your stupid web site.
WHAT? You're only a week old! How are we even having this conversation?
Listen, chump. My name is Skip Skipperman Junior and Wrestling is in my blood. You better turn my Daddy's links back on now or you're in trouble with ME!
And don't think just because you weigh 500 pounds and I weigh 11 that I can't park yer truck, ya PALOOKA!
ALLRIGHT! You win Newborn Skipperman. I'll put them back RIGHT AWAY. Don't hurt me anymore.

 

by Buttonman
6-16-06
An observation by the (former) Promoter leads to a dialog.
These cartoons you put up on your web site are stupid and have nothing to do with wrestling. You are an idiot.
You're just saying that because you've always hated your avatar.
Well what do you expect? Hands for feet. Feet for ears, blue skin, red eyes. Not exactly Olin Mills if you catch my drift.
Sure it is, if you understand metaphors. Feet for ears becaue you never listen. Hands for feet because you sit on your hands all day...
None of that makes any sense.
Nor will it to anyone with an IQ under 83.

 

by Buttonman
6-17-06
Just another day at wrestling in Chipley at the Roujac Community Center...
Look at the mess you made.
Well, it did say "Falls count anywhere" on the card
I think you place entirely too much emphasis on ONIONS with your hot dog there Mr. Buttonman
But I LIKE 'em.
Do you have ANY idea who the mope with the coffee cup is?
Clueless.

 

by Buttonman
6-18-06
The week before Semmes, Bob and Security Angel converse...
I am wondering if you got any response from your ad for additional security work.
Mostly heckling. How about you? Get any response from your blog?
Mostly content theft. Cut and paste without permission is the lowest form of criticism.
Um... you don't suspect ME of that do you?
No. Just someone with a weak mind and a third grade education, that's all. Are you ready for Security in Semmes?
HTM is as safe as a babe in his mother's arms with Security Angel on the job.

 

by Buttonman
6-18-06
Butch is busted by his sister...
BUTCH! Did you buy another machete from Buttonman?
Um... no.
What's that in your hand then? A butter knife?
You can't see it with my hand behind my back.
I'm telling MOM. You're gonna have to ride in the BACK OF THE TRUCK all the way home to Noma.
All right. I'm taking it back. But I'm KEEPING the bag of marbles and the Harley hat.

 

by Buttonman
6-18-06
The Bunnyman is a favorite fan who likes to dres like a pink rabbit...
I really like the way you wrestle, Mr. Prime. You look like your were born to the ring.
Thanks, er, Mr. Bunnyman. I will take that as a compliment and will try even harder in the future.
You really are my favorite wrestler, Mr Prime. I have seen you at AWF and UPHW and all over the place.
Well thanks. i appreciate all the fans in our area. Er... what's with the axe?
The voices tell me my favorite wrestler must DIE!
Ow.

 

by Buttonman
6-18-06
I can't wait for the Wilmer Fire Department Benefit show in Semmes on the 23rd of June. Proceeds will help us buy new gear.
I need a new Axe to chop holes in roofs of burning houses
I need to stay away from these Fire Dept. mopes...
Yes, VOLUNTEER Fire departments rescue cats. This one was hiding under the AWF ring in Doink's' back yard.
THERE you are FLUFFY! Did the cool fireman rescue you? Thanks, dude. My neighbor Mr HO has been looking all over for his cat.

 

by Buttonman
6-19-06
Because you go to wrestling shows where young men engage in combat, that makes you queer, Buttonman.
Um... Don't you hang out in promotions' dressing rooms where wrestlers are changing clothes?
That's COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! I am a promoter. I need to go in other peoples' dressing rooms to recruit young wrestlers for my shows.
But you haven't promoted a show in 5 years and just got fired from AWF, the only show that has booked you in all that time.
Only because you BRIBED AWF to fire me by donating $15 to the Wilmer Fire Dept.
Are you sure that senility hasn't rotted your brain and made you paranoid, you old bigot?

Showing page 3.

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