All comics by Commander_t

Profile

 

by Commander_t
3-20-05
Hello, welcome to Burger Wasteland. May I take your order?
I need Stupid.
Uh, sorry sir. We don't have any of that here... only hamburgers.
Do you doubt that Stupid is here...?
I-I'm Stupid...?
I've got a picture here somewhere. Stupid is on it.

 

by Commander_t
3-20-05
I thought you were taking the day off, Amish?
Yeah, well, I came back a little early.
Why?
If I don't post future episodes of Mr. President, then who will?
I don't know, maybe your sister?
Nah. She only created her account after reading Army Guy. I think it messed with her brain somehow...

 

by Commander_t
3-20-05
YOU ALL SUCK!! YOU PEOPLE DIDN'T SEND IN YOUR MONEY THIS MONTH!! NOW, GET ON THE PHONE!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-22-05
Later... In Congress...
... so today, I ask that the Senate pass this bill! This bill would help protect our crippled and retarded citizens-
No, Mr. Senator! We must not pass this bill! It would hurt our eco-ecoo... whatever. We all know cripples and retards disturb our great nation!
Do you see, Mr. President?! Mrs. Wife-of-Former-President wishes our cripples and retards dead! Oh!, the inhumanity of some people...!
There you have it, fellow congressmen and women; disrespect for the common person! He doesn't want our crippled and retarded people to be humanely put down!!
Meanwhile... Mr. President prepares for an important news conference...
What did you say this news conference was for again?
A group of cripples and retards from the Cripples and Retards Alliance Program will be here in support of the new bill. Oh, and watch your back; Mr. California Governor will be here too!

 

by Commander_t
3-22-05
Well, Amish, it looks like you've made a triumphant return!
Yeah. It's good to be back. I like what they did to the front page. Its a great effort to create something like that.
It sure is! Also, is there any ideas brewing for anything new?
Well, I've got this idea for Mr. President, as you've seen. Maybe something with Army Guy, more as a spinoff. But now, I'm focusing on Mr. President.
Cool deal! Can you tell me the ending? *sob*
Yes. I tell Guy-in-Trenchcoat to leave!

 

by Commander_t
3-22-05
Hmm... It seems I've already made several comebacks. I'll have to dig in this time...
I'll start with the woods behind the barn...
OH MY GOD!!!!
AAHHHHHH!! I've been lost for weeks. Help me...

 

by Commander_t
3-22-05
Officer, I swear I didn't see your car there!
I thought you weren't allowed to swear?
That rule gets technical when I or anyone else is off the grounds.
Does that include certain adult situations?
I'M SUCH A DIRTY GIRL!!
Just hold on a sec. I've got to turn the camera on!

 

by Commander_t
3-23-05
A few moments later...
H-hello. My name is Crippled Kid. Today, I'd like to say a few things about us cripples. First, we're here to stay. Second, there is no 'humane' or 'legal' way to kill a human being!
Uuh... yuh thirr iiz! Jist jooyn da ermee!
Crippled Kid looked very nervous...
Oh, uh... anyway, please congressmen and women, don't kill us! We're humans too!!
Haha! Wuteveer Cripeeled Kiid!
Crippled Kid was about ready to give up the fight...
*sob*
Cicritlee, heez en eliann een dizguuyz!

 

by Commander_t
3-24-05
It was at that moment, HE attacked...
AAHHH!!! Who are you?!
I AM THE GOVERNATOR!! HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!!!
The Governator took no prisoners...
AAHHH!!! I'M ON FIRE!!!
HAHAHA!!! Stop, drop, and roll girly boy!
Mr. President was outraged...
I'M LETTING THE WORLD KNOW THAT THE GOVERNATOR IS HERE TO DEFEND OUR CRIPPLES AND RETARDS!!!
HOLY CRAP!! You concussed Army Guy and set Crippled Kid on fire! How could you do something like this without me?!

 

by Commander_t
3-24-05
I see you posted Mr. President #20. Where does it go from here?
Well Robot, I don't know. I was going to write #21 out like I've done with the previous three; I don't know if it'll work out now.
Too bad Amish!
Hey! I'll probably figure something out by tomorrow!
Whatever Amish! I laugh at you! Haha!
Robots don't have feeling like that. Wait a minute! Did I ever tell you I needed some scrap metal to patch up my armored buggy?

 

by Commander_t
3-24-05
He noticed there was something wrong with the new student...
Hey! Do you go to school here?
*reads mind* Sure do, Skippy!
How do you know that?! Only my wife knows that nickname!
Not anymore!
Why you stupid kid...!
Actually, I'm an illegal alien from outer space; here to take notes on your culture and give random anal probes!

 

by Commander_t
3-25-05
Meanwhile... In Congress...
I propose we vote on this measure. All those in favor of indefinite vacation...?
Yes...
Mr. Zombie and Mr. Rule-Breaker give their answers...
Yes...
Yes...
Mr. Weird-Senators' answer and a Presidential response...
Yes...
FREAKS!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-25-05
Later... At a Presidential news conference...
Mr. President! Do you have any comments on Congress' decision to go on indefinite vacation?
Yeah! Who's going to run this place?! I certainly don't want too!
So, what you're saying Mr. President, is you dislike our great nation?
I hate someone that's standing in front of me! MR. GOVERNATOR! THIS GUY CALLED YOU A GIRLY MAN!!
I WILL PUMP YOU UP, THEN POUND YOU DOWN WITH MY FISTS! HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!
OH SWEET GOD!!

 

by Commander_t
3-25-05
Mr. President gathered his best men to the White House...
Men, I've gathered you here today to help brainstorm on what to do about congress' refusal to help our cripples and retards-
Yeah, I heard they took an indefinite vacation.
That doesn't help us. Maybe, I could find some information on congress since I'm the head of a secret government agency?
...And maybe I could use my billions to run a smear campaign across the nation?
Maybe I could use my Hollywood connections to help stir up emotions?
Ok, gentlemen. It's settled. We'll use all the methods proposed and few other'secret' wepons!

 

by Commander_t
3-26-05
DO YOU SEE THIS?!
Yeah...
THIS IS THE HOLY PLUNGER!
What does it do?
ITS NOT A QUESTION OF WHAT IT DOES, BUT RATHER WHAT YOU DO WITH IT!
There's nothing in the toilet--OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-28-05
Why are you in such a hurry to leave, Amish? I just got here.
Someone is after me!!
Who is after you?!
I don't know! They were driving a big SUV!!
Like mine over there in the driveway?
AAAHHHHHH!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-30-05
It's my Guardian Angel! I'm so happy you've come to rescue me!!
Idiot! Robots do not have feelings!
*sob*
I must destroy you, vile Robot, so that humanity may live!
*sob*
Oh, quit it crybaby! Take it like a man!

 

by Commander_t
3-30-05
Hey guy in Trenchcoat.
Hey Amish, what's up?
I'm working on getting Mr. President #24-35 right now.
Really? Why so much at once?
They aren't so long, Guy! You make it sound like I'm writing a novel!
Yeah, like I'd want to see a novel all about Army Guy! I'd go retarded just glimpsing at it!

 

by Commander_t
3-30-05
Where are we going...?
Later...
Where are we going...?
Later...
Where are we going...?
You'll see, Amish...

 

by Commander_t
3-31-05
DA CAPAN SAAZ HILD YIR POOWZISHUNS!!
Holy crap, man! Are you retarded or something?!
DA CAPAN SAAZ IT ISNT YOUR MIND, BUT YOUR SOUL THAT COUNTS!!
Holy crap, man! You see that guy there? THAT'S THE CAPTAIN!!!
From that day forward, Army Guy vowed to put his brain to as much use as possible...
NUU!! Wut weel hepin tu da Capan's soll?!
The way he lived, you wouldn't want to know... ECH!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-31-05
The Captain found himself in a strange land...
What is this place?
HOLY SWEET GOD!!!
Eh, what do you want?
PLEASE!! DON'T HURT ME!!!
No, no! I wont hurt you! You're a human. I went non-human eons ago!! But, I do have a craving for HUMAN BRAINS!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-31-05
Meanwhile...
*sob* Why'd yu hev tu leev uz Capan?!
Wee culd hev hed aa goodd tiim; gutt uz aa cupel o wimen! Why?!
For quite possibly the first time in his life, Army Guy felt true sadness...
*sob*

 

by Commander_t
3-31-05
Later... At a Presidential news conference...
Hello, I'm your president, Mr. President. You may have heard the leaked report stating that we were going to kill Crippled Kid. I'm here today to prove you wrong! Here he is: CRIPPLED KID!!
Hey everybody! Despite being burned over 90% of my body, I'm ok!
I would like to apologize to Crippled Kid. I'm sorry for setting you on fire. I'm also sorry for concussing Army Guy.
Hey, as long as I'm on my morphine drip, I'm ok!
So, if I came after you with this big knife, you wouldn't care?
GOD!!! I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!

 

by Commander_t
4-01-05
The next day...
Hello everyone... as you know, Crippled Kid was admitted to our hospital last night. He was admitted with multiple wounds; stab wounds, gunshot wounds... and well, the list goes on and on-
What the American People want to know is; what does it all mean?
It's hard for me to say this- *choke* but Crippled Kid has died...! *sob*
Maybe I should declare a day of national mourning? I know! Ill donate a burial site from the family plot behind the dump!

 

by Commander_t
4-01-05
Meanwhile... Somewhere far away...
IT'S A MIRACLE!! I CAN WALK!!
WAITAMINUTE!!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!!
AAHHHH!!!!
Hey! All I wanted to do was have someone to watch the Three Stooges with...! Those guys freaking rock...

 

by Commander_t
4-01-05
Crippled Kid is dead! Now who am I going to point at and laugh?
Hey, there's always you, caveman.
I'm a Viking, not a caveman...
*points* HAHAHA!!!
*sob*

 

by Commander_t
4-01-05
Are you sure about this? I mean, I haven't been to Church in years!
I know, I know; since the Father Maloney incident.
We used to call him Baloney Maloney... ECH!! I must remember, I'm doing this for Crippled Kid!
Where'd you get that name for him, sir?
You don't want to know. AAHHH!! Father Maloney... what a surprise...!
Have you been a... bad boy Mr. President?

 

by Commander_t
4-01-05
Father Maloney, why don't you start us off?
No, I am not the President, and therefore, believe that you should start us off.
Well, uh, we're gathered here today to remember the memory of a young lad-
Oh, a young lad indeed...!
Oh God! I can't do this anymore!!
DON'T RUN AWAY FROM US, MR. PRESIDENT!!

 

by Commander_t
4-01-05
Mr. President was safe inside the Lincoln Bedroom, but only momentarily...
I'm never going to Father Maloney's Church again! Now, I'm going to lay down and have a nice nap.
Nut suu fest meester prizidint!
Oh... hello my Swedish Meatball.
Nu, itz nut hullo, itz guudbii!
Wait, wait! Let me make it up to you!
NU!! Thet golfball Kaptaan Stoopid keppt mee lucked upp in heer fur neerlee a yiir! I'm leeving noww!

 

by Commander_t
4-03-05
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
Hey, buddy, what are you doing there?
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
Hey, I'm talking to you. What are you doing?
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
I WARN YOU! DO NOT COME ANY CLOSER!!! I'LL TURN IT ON FOX IF I HAVE TOO!!!

 

by Commander_t
4-03-05
This way or that way-
Hey Amish, what's up?
Its that freaking 'Random Comic Layout' button! Sometimes it just drives me insane!!
No, no. That button has helped alot of beginners here. You can't say something like that about most technological achievements.
Do you forget that I'm Amish?
Do you forget that you're using a computer?

 

by Commander_t
4-03-05
I had a date last night.
Really?
No...
Loser.

 

by Commander_t
4-03-05
Amish, what's wrong?
I've lost my inspiration.
Wait a minute. I might have some on me...
No, its gone...! Now I can't write any new stuff!!
Don't worry. We'll find it.
I'm just going to lay down and almost nearly cry...

 

by Commander_t
4-04-05
Nothing was going right for Mr. President at the moment, so he decided to take a vacation...
Man, I've needed this since I took a vacation last week!!
Things were looking a bit unfamiliar...
CRAP!! Where am I?!
HOLY GOD!! HIPPIES!!
Where?! I don't like hippies at all!!!

 

by Commander_t
4-04-05
Fortunately, Army Guy saves the day...
AAHHH!!!
Haa! Huld upp Miztur Prezedint!
I nned to get away from here, Army Guy!! Now move!!!
I ken taak kaar uv dat hippeye fer ya!
Later...
Well, I guess that hippie smacked you down into your grave, huh Army Guy?
I'mm steell uhliiv Miztur Prezedint!!!

 

by Commander_t
4-04-05
He didn't know what to expect when he opened the door...
Hello. Who are you?
Hi, I'm a Jehova's Witness.
The sale had begun...
I already believe in a God, I don't need another.
Well, we all worship the same God-
The almost nearly dramatic conclusion...
No, you worship a guy with horns on his head, a pointy tail, and to top it off, carries a pitchfork around all the time!
Who?! Mr. President? He's not God!

 

by Commander_t
4-05-05
Little did the world know, these people would one day save them...

 

by Commander_t
4-05-05
Later... Outside the White House Security Hut...
Hello Mr. President! Welcome back!
Shut it brainiac! I'm still uncertain I should be back here! Maybe I should abdicate or something...
Uh sir, abdication is only for kings and queens.
How'd you like to abdicate your position then?!
Captain Stupid thought he had just gotten over the incident...
Uh, no. I've got a booze habbit to keep up with since the incident...
Good, let's keep it that way. Oh, and Captain Stupid... A HUNDRED CRUSHED JUST-LEGALIZED IMMIGRANTS!!

 

by Commander_t
4-05-05
Hey Amish! What's up?
Just making a few posts here on sc.com
Eh, I saw that Another Stupid Comic, undoubtedly your stupidest effort yet!
I might spin that of into an ongoing series.
Don't waste your time! No one here reads you anyway!
Hey now! I've probably got readers! They just want to keep it to themselves about what they think of my comic strips!!

 

by Commander_t
4-06-05
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
Hey, you over there! Yeah, you wearing the skunk! Stop making googly eyes at me!
The police oficer never knew what was coming...
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
Why are you so scared little retarded boy? OH! Is someone behind me? A big boogey man? I'll tell you what, he's not real.
When would the madness end...
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
SHUT IT YOU RETARDED LITTLE FREAK!! NO MORE BELLY ACHING OR I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT FOR!!

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
Stupid must be around here somewhere, I can smell it!
I wonder what that guy is doing? He's been standing there a freaking hour!
I wonder if this guy knows where Stupid is? I hate to answer myself, but he probably doesn't know.
Just don't look at him!!
Oh well, Stupid will just have to wait.
I'VE GOT A DISPRO-PORTIANATELY LARGE HEAD AND SMALL BODY!!

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
Hey Amish. I read the newest Stupid Quest. I'm not impressed with it at all.
Aren't you quick to judge?
I know crap when I see it.
What about that big pile over there next to the barn?
Its a stinking eyesore.
I'm going to curse you to be blind forever so you don't have to read ever again.

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
I'M ON STRIKE!! BUBBA'S GAS-'n-GO IS UNFAIR TO ITS WORKERS!!
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
HEY MAN! WHY DON'T YOU CROSS THE PICKET LINE AND SEE WHAT I DO WITH YOU!!
JUMPING HYENNAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
Were you sent by Bubba? You were weren't you?! I cave in to his demand of working for only pennies an hour!!!

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
Son, you know what I found in there?
No sir.
Come on! Don't lie to me! You know what you had in there! Something that every mother in the world doesn't want her son to have in there!!
I'm such a horrible person!!
Yes, you'd better start making peace with whatever God you worship, because those sexed up goats will give your mother a heart attack!!
*sob* I-I'm trying to quit!!

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
Here I am, ready for the final battle of good vs. evil! With my sword, only the side of good shall prevail!!
Hey, where is everybody?
Meanwhile...
I thought you said that the battle would be here?
That's what it said on the flyer!

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
I WON THE PRIZE!!!!!
I told you! Door number three was the one!!
COME ON TRIP TO ACAPULCO!!!
I've never been to Acapulco! Its going to be freaking awesome!!
OH NO!! NOT THAT!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
Poor guy. Sent off to Germany to be raped by robots. *sob* At least I wont be there!

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
AAHHH!!! Who are you?
I'm a jolly elf from the North Pole!
The North Pole? I've never heard of the place.
Eh, its near Canada. Anyway, St. Nick sent me to give you this!
Oh no! No way!! I know a dirty trick when I see it!

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
WE'RE COMING IN THERE NOW!! SURRENDER YOUR BOOZE AND HOOKERS IMMEDIATELY!!
They don't seem to be complying.
GIVE EM ALL YOU GOT!!
Sir, this is only a squirt gun. The Government cut our funding ages ago.
Hmmm... there comes a certain time when you either fight or run. Frankly, I wouldn't be embarassed to run right now.

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
O GUDD!! I'M LOOST!!!
Don't worry Army Guy, follow me!
Hu er yu?!
I'm a camel.
Yu dunt luuk liik a caamil. Er yu summ sert a freek er sumthin?
*sob*

 

by Commander_t
4-09-05
Hey Amish, I see you're writing your 150th comic strip.
Yeah, it's going to be awesome.
So, what's it going to be about?
Our conversation over the 150th comic.
Yeah, but what's it going to be about?
Hmmm... retards who just don't get it!

Showing page 3.

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