All comics by Devin

Profile

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Arpeegie Land
Strange way to send a guy on a trip... anyway, I should go to town and ask around.
Hmm, isn't this a town at my feet? I'll just walk into it and...
*CRUNCH*
...Uh oh.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
After trying several more times to get into town
Welcome to our town!
Thanks, it took me a while to figure out how to squeeze in. I'm kind of new here.
Welcome to our town!
...Um, thanks. Is there like a travel bureau around here? Somewhere for information?
Welcome to our town!
...Er, so I take it you don't know?

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Welcome to the inn! It's 2 gold pieces per night. Would you like to rest?
Actually, I came to ask for information, but I am kind of tired. Sure, I'll rest.
...Hey, who turned off the lights?
Good morning! Did you have a good rest?
What the? All you did was flip the light off and on!

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Reception. May I help you?
Hi, this is a nice room, but I can't seem to find the toilet. Is it located outside my room?
I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid I don't understand. What's a "toilet?"
...Maybe that's what all those pots outside were being used for. Gross.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
I thought you were going outside.
I went. But I couldn't figure out how to level up, so I came back.
That is such an insult to us gamers!
We all know you gain the most experience while in dungeons!

 

by Devin
10-03-02
During an obligatory trip to the castle as stated under Arpeegian law
Greetings, I am the King of Arpeegie... wait, it's you! You're the visitor from another world who will bring peace to Arpeegie!
No, that can't be, I'm on vacation...
Please, our legends say that a visitor from another world will come and save us from evil!
It can't be me... in school I get beaten up by bullies...
Please, you must fulfill the prophecy! The fate of Arpeegie depends on your answer!
Shouldn't you at least buy me a drink, treat me to dinner, and get to know me better before you ask me to save your world?

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Look, I'm just not suited to the job. How about that swordsman over there? He's foreign, he's strong, and he actually has a weapon!
Yeah, that's what he WANTS us to think. But I can tell, beneath all that armor, muscle, strength, and skill lies a weak and pathetic man.
Oooookay... how about that sorcerer over there? He looks strong too.
Puh-lease! Just because he knows a million spells and is revered worldwide, he thinks that he can leave his fashion sense at the door. Look at the way he's dressed!

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Wilst thou save our world?
No.
But thou must. Wilst thou save our world?
No.
But thou must. Wilst thou save our world?
ARGH! WHAT PART OF "NO" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Prepare to die, evil squirrel!
The King is counting on me to become a great warrior and save Arpeegie! If I fail, the world will be destroyed! I mustn't falter, I mustn't!
Before you can save our world, you must train! Go forth and fight ferocious beasts!
I won't let you down!
I won't give up! I will defeat...... damn.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Heaven, hear my cry! Restore the life of this fallen hero and let him fight for you once more!
...Did you revive me? Thanks a lot. Here's a little-- hey! All my money's gone!
What? I only took-- ER, I mean, um, it must've been bandits, um, but anyway, a good deed is its own reward! Bye now!
Um, okay...

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Eventually our hero gets better at battles...
Alright! Another foul squirrel bites the dust! Time for my victory stance!
VICTOLY!
I guess that victory stance doesn't work either...

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Heaven, hear my cry! Restore the life of this fallen hero and let him fight for you once more!
Um, thanks for your help again. Ouch, my butt really hurts...
How can that be? I lubed it up real good before I-- ER, I mean, um, it's a side effect...
Oh, okay. Well, see ya...

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Now that I'm strong enough, shouldn't I be saving the world? Why am I coming here?
It's an obligatory trip to a haunted place as required by Arpeegian law.
So, um, what do I do here--
Oh.
Joooooiiiiinnnnn ussssssssss...

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Hero 1000/1000 HP 100/100 MP __ Ghost 100/100 HP 50/50 MP
Why must graveyards have ghosts anyway?
We can't rest in peeeeeaaaaace... Tobor keeps digging up our bodies for cornhooooolinggggg...
Hero 1000/1000 HP 100/100 MP __ Ghost 72/100 HP 50/50 MP
Then I'll help you rest in pieces! Take this!
Hero 1000/1000 HP 100/100 MP __ Ghost 47/100 HP 50/50 MP
And this!
Hey, you skipped my turn, cheeeeeaaaaaater...

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Hero 946/1000 HP 100/100 MP __ Ghost 47/100 HP 50/50 MP
Ow!
Hero 946/1000 HP 100/100 MP __ Ghost 0/100 HP 50/50 MP
But this battle is still mine!
I win! VICTOLY-- OW, not again...

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Back at the castle
Guards, this man murdered the royal guard! Seize him at once!
What? It wasn't me, he was jumped by ghosts!
Hey, wait a minute, you're not the King! You're--
sub_m7! I hacked into your comic and took over the King, what do you think about THAT?
...Okay, I concede, I'm impressed.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Hero 892/1000 HP 100/100 MP _ sub_m7 1000/1000 HP 90/100 MP
Now I'll show the world that I'm a 1337 h4x0r!
Argh!
Hero 892/1000 HP 90/100 MP __ sub_m7 522/1000 HP 90/100 MP
AGH!
So how come an "intelligent" person like yourself can't seem to speak English properly?
Hero 892/1000 HP 90/100 MP __ sub_m7 522/1000 HP 35/100 MP BeNN_MaKK 100/100 HP 0/0 MP
You're pretty strong... BeNN_MaKK, come forth from your dark abode and attack!
MAster not wanting me up the REctum no more? Then BeNN_MaKK attack!

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Hero 833/1000 HP 90/100 MP __ sub_m7 522/1000 HP 35/100 MP BeNN_MaKK 100/100 HP 0/0 MP
I am "eating" the losing hot dogs!! YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM.
Ack... the nonsense... is weakening me...
Hero 833/1000 HP 90/100 MP __ sub_m7 522/1000 HP 35/100 MP BeNN_MaKK 16/100 HP 0/0 MP
Dildos are neither homosexual or HEterosexual. THey are just ALL FUN.
Argh, take THIS!
Hero 833/1000 HP 90/100 MP __ sub_m7 522/1000 HP 35/100 MP BeNN_MaKK 0/100 HP 0/0 MP
A gang of gay Lebanese rapists who tie people to chairs and race them to the wall is probably funny in some circles you apparently don't reside in.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Hero 511/1000 HP 40/100 MP __ sub_m7 122/1000 HP 15/100 MP
*huff* *huff* I guess I have no choice but to send my man-eating elephant at you!
Hero 511/1000 HP 40/100 MP __ sub_m7 122/1000 HP 15/100 MP
Attack, my evil pet, devour--
Hero 511/1000 HP 40/100 MP __ sub_m7 0/1000 HP 15/100 MP
CRUNCH CRUNCH

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Thank you for saving me, but I'm afraid your work is not quite done. My daughter has been kidnapped! Please save her!
Hey, you never told me you had a daughter.
Well, um... I was hoping not to have to bring her up...
I mean, sure, you're the hero prophesized to save the world, but you're still a guy! What's a father to do?

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Our hero asks around at town
I heard that sub_m7 is merely a henchman. The real mastermind is the Evil King.
I saw the princess being taken to Darkstorm Castle, to the north.
Haven't I seen you three times already...?
I bet you say that to all the girls in Arpeegie.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Hey, you're the legendary hero! Please, let me join your party!
Hmm, okay.
Thanks a lot! I'll just hide myself in the small of your back...
W, what?! Get away from me!
What, I'm just trying to join your party.
There ain't no party here, dude, so just keep your distance.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
What are you reading?
A walkthrough.
What's a-- ARGH!
DIE!
W, why...?
'Cause this FAQ says you're gonna betray me when we get to Darkstorm Castle.

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Arrr, if ye want to git pas' me, ye needs ta bribe me with a gold bar.
Why do you want a gold bar?
Because a gold bar be making it harder for ya ta pas' me, matey!
So I guess I can't bribe you with gold pieces or gems instead?
Aye, ya landlubber! Now go to the Pirate Mines ta da far south and git me my gold bar!

 

by Devin
10-03-02
Our hero finally makes it into Darkstorm Castle
I can understand the monsters at every turn, but why would anyone design a castle like a maze?
100 years ago
Do you have the blueprints?
Oops, I'm afraid not, Your Majesty.
But I have some scribbles here that you can use instead!

 

by Devin
10-04-02
Hero 1000/1000 HP 100/100 MP ____ Evil King 5000/5000 HP 500/500 MP
I can't believe it... YOU'RE the Evil King!
Yes, remember my fiendish scheme? It's to kill you and secure my rule of Arpeegie Land!
Hero 783/1000 HP 100/100 MP _____ Evil King 5000/5000 HP 500/500 MP
Wait, I'll step aside and let you take over-- OW!
Hero 419/1000 HP 100/100 MP _____ Evil King 5000/5000 HP 490/500 MP
Come on, can't we talk this over-- ARGH!
No, I'd get in trouble with the Last Bosses Union.

 

by Devin
10-04-02
Hero 116/1000 HP 4/100 MP ________ Evil King 567/5000 HP 115/500 MP
Ugh...
Your life ends now, hero. It's time for you to WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP...
...Wake up, wake up, yo, wake up, man, you okay?
Ugh, what the...!
DIE, EVIL KING!!!

 

by Devin
10-04-02
So I was dreaming? And you're not the Evil King? Then what about your "fiendish scheme?"
It was to steal your games while you were unconscious.
Hero 1000/1000 HP 100/100 MP Backstabber 100/100 HP 0/0 MP
W, what?

 

by Devin
10-04-02
You know, if you hadn't woken me up, the King would've offered me his daughter's hand in marriage.
So? It was a dream.
I would've scored with her, man! I bet she was hot too.
You were DREAMING, dude! D-R-E-A-M-I-N-G!

 

by Devin
10-04-02
This stuff is good, Devin.
OH MY GOD, PRAISE! I THOUGHT I WAS DOOMED TO A LIFE OF UNFUNNY COMICS!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
...Er, I mean, thanks for the compliments. :-)

 

by Devin
10-07-02
I have breast cancer!
I have breast cancer!
I have breast cancer!
We all have breast cancer! Do you?
So how's THIS for breast cancer awareness?
...Do you even know what it is?

 

by Devin
10-07-02
The transitive axiom states that if a is equal to b, and b is equal to c, then a must be equal to c.
So I was like, "Hey, Bill, what's up," and he's like, "same old, same old," so Kelly was laughing.
Thus, if we apply this to our problems, n^2 = 4x + y, and 4x + y = q^2, we see that n^2 = q^2...
She was like, "Bill's always the same old, same old." Anyway, Kelly and I went to the mall-- um, hold up for a second.
Excuse me, could you be a more quiet? I'm trying to carry a conversation out here in the hallway!

 

by Devin
10-07-02
This is amazing! You reduced the number of people on welfare by 100%! What was your secret?
I got rid of it.
Oh, then that explains the increase of people below the poverty line by 1000%...

 

by Devin
10-07-02
I've done it! I've developed a technique to eliminate breast cancer!
Create breastless women!
Um, Doctor, all my hair fell out and I have this urge to wear leather... is this normal?

 

by Devin
10-08-02
I heard that the Evil King is very powerful. You should stock up on supplies before you go.
Um, you've been moving your mouth for the past ten seconds. Did you say something?
Sorry, I guess I watched too many Godzilla movies as a kid.

 

by Devin
10-08-02
I finally got "Harvest Moon: Back to Nature." But I actually liked "Harvest Moon for Girls" better.
It's a strictly artistic thing, dangit!

 

by Devin
10-08-02
While playing Harvest Moon: Back to Nature
Hey, where the heck did the pink box go in this version?
Was that disappointment that I sensed?
Shut up, I get overexcited easily is all...

 

by Devin
10-08-02
Hey, a message to all you freakin' Playstation game makers: STOP SWITCHING THE X AND O BUTTONS WHEN YOU TRANSLATE JAPANESE GAMES!!!!
Does "X" look like "confirm" to you? If I drew an "X" over your sorry picture, maybe that means I approve of you, huh??? Doesn't "O" make more freakin' sense???
Freakin' idiots, it's damned annoying when I'm used to playing the Japanese version! At least leave me a way to switch back the stupid controller configurations!
Okay, take deep breaths and calm down. Now, repeat to yourself, "It's just a game..."

 

by Devin
10-09-02
Coming to terms with the concept of "social life"
"Girl?" What system is that for?

 

by Devin
10-09-02
Hi, I'm Maura. What's your name?
Wow, your hair's longer than NeoVid's! But how come your chest sticks out like that? *poke*
Freak!!!
Ow! What did I do???

 

by Devin
10-09-02
So tell me, what do you do in your spare time?
Well, I fight bad guys and save princesses. My friends and I go on adventures to save the world. I'm a pro wrestler every now and then.
Sometimes I'm commanding the army against hostile forces, but more often I'm out there myself, battling hostile forces.
Gee, do you protect the Earth from evil aliens also?
Occasionally, but I'm not really into science fiction games.

 

by Devin
10-09-02
Whoa, mama...
Hubba hubba, would you look at that...
Argh, I can't believe you, gawking like that! Are big breasts and long legs all you men care about? I'm outta here!
Wow... a Neo-Geo Pocket, lucky stiff.

 

by Devin
10-11-02
What do we want?
Hussein to step down!!!
When do we want it?
Now!!!
Hussein step down! Hussein step down! Hussein step down! Hussein step down!

 

by Devin
10-11-02
Mr. President, we have decided that you may attack Iraq.
Hot diggity dang! Thanks, guys, this is gonna be great! It'll be like Metal Gear Solid, I'll be in there, snapping necks, bombing stuff, sneaking my way to ol' Saddam himself, and then, POW!
Um, with all due respect, Mr. President, that wouldn't be prudent. You could get kill-- on second thought, good luck, sir! Show them what we Americans are made of!

 

by Devin
10-11-02
*huff* *huff*
*huff* *huff*
Too slow, you lose again!
*huff* Damn...
Now eat your biscuit!

 

by Devin
10-12-02
somewhere in the Middle Easter theatre of operations
...
...
Damnit, I order war planners and they send me gay agendas!

 

by Devin
10-12-02
The forensics lab positively identified tuna on your sandwich. I'm afraid you're fired.
You're firing me because I'm not a vegetarian?
Look, I don't know how they do it where you come from, but here in Berkeley we have no jobs for meat-craving scum like yourself.

 

by Devin
10-12-02
Hurry up! I gotta go!
Keep your shirt on, damnit... I've almost unclogged it... done.
So what was clogging it up anyway?
Somebody's severed arm... WHAT DO YOU THINK CLOGGED IT UP, DUMBASS?!
Geez, sorry I asked...

 

by Devin
10-12-02
It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all...
It's a small world after all, it's a small, small world!
It's a small world after all--
Hey, shut up back there! We're not in Disneyland!

 

by Devin
10-12-02
You do NOT want to go in here. Whoooo!

Showing page 3.

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