All comics by Forever_Omniscient

 

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Let me think about it, okay? I'll call you.
by Forever_Omniscient, 4-10-09

 

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
You tried to bribe me numerous times, laughed at me, and called me names. Do you know who I am? I'm Jesus H. Christ, dammit!
by Forever_Omniscient, 4-10-09

 

Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do...except him, he knew exactly what he was doing.
Goddamn tattletale.
by Forever_Omniscient, 4-10-09

 

Around Midnight...
I'm going to steal me some Easter Bunny eggs.
Is that so?
*Click*
Oh shizz, hey man, I was just kiddin about the whole egg stealin thing.
No one touches MY eggs but me and the kids, asshole.

 

Do you really want to be under God?
by Forever_Omniscient, 4-10-09

 

Really? After all the horrible things he has done according to the Bible?
by Forever_Omniscient, 4-11-09

 

Come on, Jesus, it's been over 2000 years, I'm freezing my ass off out here.
Not until you say you are sorry.
Oh come on, you got to admit it was pretty damn hilarious. I punked you good.
Jesus Christ! It was a joke! God damn it to hell. Grow up!

 

Look man, you just need to choose one holiday. Either your birth or your death. I prefer your death.
by Forever_Omniscient, 4-11-09

 

"Good" Friday
Friday Night..................Saturday Night
Easter Sunday
How in the hell?

 

8:05am
The systems are down and its your fault, so we have a different assignment for you.
8:07am
We need you to count all of these files, then sort them by tens and then put them in boxes for shipping, by 5pm, today.
2:31pm
Papercuts?

 

Excuse me, little boy, are you lost? *Chuckle*
...huh?
Whoa, Jesus Christ!
I'm sorry, you must have confused me with someone else. My name is Pennywise.

 

Somewhere in the forest...
Be very, very quiet, I'm hunting for stupid people, who think hunting is a sport.
by Forever_Omniscient, 6-04-09

 

I am so f**ked.
by Forever_Omniscient, 6-04-09

 

One day, everything was in colour...
Dude! We're in colour!
Yeah, I know, wtf?
which begged the question if qualia exists...
So, thats what you look like in colour, huh?
Yeah, I know it's gay, isnt?
and one's sanity too.
Wait a minute, you're just a mirror image of me, just a bit darker...
It took you long enough, dumbass...want a beer?

 

OMFM, I cannot believe you fell for this Son, rotflmao
You sick twisted bastard! I'll get you back for this.
by Forever_Omniscient, 7-23-09

 

Well, thank you very much, now look where we are!
Hey, you gave your consent when you picked up the knife.
So? You could've explained more thoroughly what to do after.
What? I have to explain everything to you?
Yes, yes you do, why else would I have a schizophrenic hallucination if I didn't want your opinion?
Well, no wonder you ended up here, you can't even get your hallucinations right.

 

Feed me, Seymour!
Does it have to be human?
by Forever_Omniscient, 7-24-09

 
Let me tell ya, I get no respect.

 

We have arrived at the pre-designated spatial and temporal coordinates.
Yeah, I'm starving, what did you cook for dinner?
Open your eyes and find out, boys.

 

South Korean CIA Headquarters
But, sir I-
Listen, I don't care if you have evidence of NK's WMD program, you are not getting near that phone and start blabbing your mouth to Obama. Is that clear?
Figures. The Republicans want to wait until they are back in office to start that war.

 

Of course. Must protect Veidt's new utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well? What are you waiting for? Do it.
Rorschach...
DO IT!

 

Here for my conjugal visit, Cuddy? Well okay, but you get to be on top this time.
Oh House, it never happened between us, you imagined the whole thing.
If I imagined the whole thing, then who did I sleep with?
Yes!? And you are staring at me because...you think I'm sexy, right? Too bad, I'm spoken for.

 

Huh. Interesting. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that you got leprosy.
Is it treatable?
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-05-09

 
*Sigh* No wonder I'm losing, look who I have to work with.

 

Awww, what a cute puppy!
Bitch, I will tear your face off.
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-05-09

 

Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-05-09

 

10:01 pm.................................10:10 pm
Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! I cannot deal with the world no more! I must end the pain!
*sob" B-b-but I cannot slit my own t-t-throat...
10:24 pm..................................10:42pm
Hmm, if it is worth doing, then it is worth doing right.
That's seems to be about right, got everything covered, blamed everyone equally, okay then.
11:11pm......................................11:55pm
*sigh* Well, I guess this is it. A quick and sudden death, just like in hockey. Oh God, I hate hockey.
Huh. Not quite what I expected.

 

C'mon, honey bunny, I won't tells no one whatcha ya did here.
But, grandaddy, it wrong, wat do ya think Bobby will do?
Probably join in and have us them there one of those menagie a twats, tell yer what. *hiccup*

 

Say son, are you giving me the evil eye?
Uh-huh.
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-05-09

 

You're not serious? Are you?
You know as well as I that this is not a light matter.
Come on, are you telling me you've never done it.
No. I cannot say I have.
All right, fine. If I show you how to use the nightsitck that way, will you not report me?
Hm. On one condition. You show me how...on me.

 
I think I am going to...uuhhhhh...ooohhh yeah...

 

Hopefully, in the near future...
Job is done, right?
Mostly. I'll finish later tonight and you will no longer suffer Zac Efron ever again.
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-06-09

 

About 30 AD...
Whatever happened to NOT killing the messenger?
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-07-09

 

One day, President Obama was in the bathroom...
Hmm, am I black or white?
You're both.
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-07-09

 

Make sure you give it a second coat before you leave.
Uhhn, yaarrp.
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-08-09

 

One more, it's only fair
Does my wig count?
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-08-09

 

One more, it's only fair.
Does my wig count?
by Forever_Omniscient, 9-08-09

 

Present
Future
Yes, dance, hoopleheads, dance!

 

Let's have a toast to me, and my reflection in your lovely eyes.
Shut up, Andy.
by Forever_Omniscient, 5-02-10

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