All comics by Fuj

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by Fuj
6-04-05
If you're so holy, can you walk on water?
Why as a matter of fact yes...A great deal better than you can walk on whiskey my friend.
Meanwhile in the Carry on actors graveyard...
Every time this happens I get sick and dizzy.

 

by Fuj
6-04-05
"Dear sir.. Are you an alcoholic? If so, dial 01161-2800-9800. And seeek redemption"
Abduhls Off-sales? How may I help you?

 

by Fuj
6-04-05
*THUD!*
Ohh Jesus my head... What am I here for officer?
Drinking.
I'll have a treble cinzano with Slivovice mixer in that case.

 

by Fuj
6-04-05
*KNOCK KOCK KNOCK*
Good evening Mam. Im here to collect for a home for drunkards.
Just a minute deary...
You wanted to speak with me?
...

 

by Fuj
6-06-05
Yes Boss you wanted to see me?
Yes come in, its about the results of the urine sample you left us..
Wha..was their a problem
Im afraid you tested positive..
For Coke...

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
Take 1
Yaa harr!! my fuckin' fish fingers have no added artificial flavourings, colourings or dick all preservatives! ARRR!
C U T ! ! !
what!?
no, no that was great mr.Birdseye, really great. We just need you to drop the "potty mouth" mmkay? its "in character" yeah? but its not "p.c" .....
Take 2
Yaa harr! its ladies night in Capin Birdseyes trunk. Yee can suck me scrotes for 6 gold doubloons!! Yaahaar de harr harr!! also buy me feckin fish fingers!
C U T ! !

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
INTRADOOCIN.... THE CRAZZZEEEE FROG! *CLAP*CLAP*CLAP*CLAP*
ANNND...DEAATTHHH!! *CLAP*CLAP*CLAP*CLAP*
Hi folks, glad you could make it!
Together they are.. THE ODD COUPLE HO! HO! HO!
ding ding.
ha hahaaha. I wonder what uncanny japes we'll get up to frog eh?

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
Somewhere near Goshen.
Ha! Im a cunt, Im a cunt Im a c-u-n-t cunt!
elsewhere...
*creep*creep*creep*

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
*creep*creep*creep*
*creep*creep*creep*

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
My boy! my beutifull first born boy! Oh you are so very beutifull and so very, very first born!
waah! Gurn!
*creep*creep*creep*
*creep*creep*creep*

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
*creep*creep*creep*
...
water?

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
You know Im bad, Im bad you know!
and the whole worlds gonna answer right now when I tell you once again!
who's bad!?
ITTS A THRILLAA! THRILLaaa.. wait a second. OH FOR FUCK SAKE!

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
*creep*creep*creep*
so let it be written, so let it be done.
*creep*....
to kill the first born pharohs son..
..Im a cunt, a cunt, a fucking c-u-n-t cunt.
*all creeped out*
hello Pharoh.
cripes its death!.....

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
Hello and thanking you for watching "the odd couple"
Yes, thank you.
As you may or may not know the outcome of this story is destined to become another predictable generic "I knew it was going to happen from the first panel" finale.
yes, quite.
..if you are worried that the conclusion of this strip may offend you or cause nausea, then stop reading now.
What she said.

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
eep..
*CLAP*CLAP*CLAP*WHISTLE*PHWEEP!*CLAP*CLAP*YEAAHH!*
A-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DAAA-DOO-DAA-DING-DING-DING-WAHEEEE!!

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
DING-A-DING-DAA!-DO-DOOO-DING-DING-DAA!
...
...!?

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
Is he dead? please tell me he's dead?
I'd best be sure.
whats that for?

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
*PHEEEEE*
I did not know crazy frog.. yet I know he was an amphibian of good moral standing..
Fin.

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
My Doctor.
Im feeling bleh.
Quack!
My Labourers.
So even though you fitted the carpet 7 months later than agreed you still want to charge me..How much!?
800 and 50 thousand of your earth pounds sterling. See, you're thinking of last years prices...
My Bank manager.
I think I want a erm..loan?
Then follow me! we'll take the lift.. My office is only six hundred and sixty six floors down.

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
C20th Fox presents ...
The feel good hit of the summer...
Wild, wild nights..

 

by Fuj
6-28-05

 

by Fuj
6-28-05
Boy, these are some wild, wild nights.
yes man.

 

You just had to bring the fucking woodpeckers Noah, didnt you!?
by Fuj, 8-19-05

 

by Fuj
9-18-05
The ancient toothgnip... A mythical beast only fables have since spoke of.
Look at it in its splendor! such a sight to behold..
My name is Vic Reeves.. and I dont give a flying fuck about endangoured species. Seriously, they can die 5 times over for all I care...But if youre a television Rep or big money Producer then..
Please.. ignore our imminent extinction, exploit us for what its worth and (dear God) please give comedic "genius"Vic a job.

 

by Fuj
10-07-05
Hi! looks like were gonna be doing the lunch shift together then..
Oh yeah awesome! say, do you have a pencil a could borrow? I seem to have lost mine..
Thats not a problem but... you.. do realise you have a tampon behind your ear right?
...
It'll be fun working with you!

 

by Fuj
11-16-05
Spock the alien life form that sprung from your leg is evolving at a rapid pace. Can you track it with the tricorder?
Im on it Captain, Ensign Lackey is in close proximity to it and will...Hey! you can get Google on this thing!!
Keep up the good work Spock. Who knows where that thing is. Probably watching us now as we speak...
Free MPEG'S of Paris Hilton scat.. ooh! Eat your own ears ae playing the Hammersmith Palais!
...watching, waiting, lurking in the shadows waiting for our moment of weakness..

 

by Fuj
11-16-05
Meanwhile..
AAAHHHHHH!!!!
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
AAAHHHHHH!!!!
...
AAAHHHHHH!!!!
GODAMMIT SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

by Fuj
11-16-05
Earth 10-11-2005..
Rock on and prosper fellow human. I would like to acquire admittance to the "eat your own ears" gig.
No spicks, no spides, no fags, fag hags, rag bags or raggamuffins. No weirdos, no beardos no visible tattoos or piercings.House policy. Now out to feck Grandad.
But..but...
Cunt.

 

by Fuj
11-16-05
..My God Spock.. It could be anywhere. Do you realise that!? Anywhere listening to us with its alien ears plotting us a diabolical fate..
What schemes could its brilliant alien mind concoct!? Some type of brutal anal torture i'd imagine. Well not again...
..NOT THIS TIME YOU BASTARDS! NOT AS LONG AS MY NAME IS JAMES T. KIRK!!
The Hammersmith Palais can kiss my arse in the future.

 

by Fuj
12-21-05
PWND!!!1

 

by Fuj
12-21-05
So it was Mikey G all along!

 

by Fuj
3-01-06
So... would you rather have alzheimers or parkinsons?
???
Parkinsons.
I'd rather spill half my pint than forget where I left it.

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