All comics by NeoVid

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by NeoVid
9-22-01
And now a heartfelt message from Senator Lipservice...
In the wake of this tragedy, it is clear that steps must be taken to prevent another_act_of_terrorism... I have introduced a bill to begin construction of a forcefield around the United States.
I will also require all tall buildings in the country to install antigravity generators, which will be used to prevent collapses.
I'd like to thank the American people for putting their faith in their leaders. Thank you.

 

by NeoVid
9-29-01
Moh.

 

by NeoVid
10-01-01
Hey, I just got approved to officially run RPG events! This is one of the greatest moments of my life!
...
I have to go cry now.

 

by NeoVid
10-02-01
Heh heh, it really works...
Damn, the invisibility suit is starting to run down...

 

by NeoVid
10-04-01
Want to take a survey? _______________ Do you own a microwave?
Not really. _______________ Yes.
Would you eat irradiated food?
Never.
Then why do you own a microwave?
...Duh...

 

by NeoVid
10-05-01
We keep losing Expendable Extras, the Reconstitutor isn't working, and the new extra can't even get the slogan for the show right...
What was the mission again? "To baldly, I mean, boldly go where no one has-"
"To go boldly." "To boldly go" is a split infinitive.
Dr "Martin," if you keep breaking character, we'll have to throw you to the Deiseloids we captured.
I'll be good.

 

by NeoVid
10-12-01

 

by NeoVid
10-14-01
I'm not going to lose this tournament like the last one! Now I've got a big army of Orcs!
A minute ago, I traded for a new figure that I'll be using tonight. Lemme get it out...
RAAAAR!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE ORC RAIDERS!
Ulp.

 

by NeoVid
10-14-01
I hate how he has that unfairly tough army, and gloats about it...
And in the entire tournament, I was the only one who even damaged one of his guys!
Mwahaahaa... 931 points, when the guy in second place didn't even have 800. It's so cool beating ten-year olds who_don't_even_have_good characters... I'm gonna run out of room for my prizes.
No, wait! I feel remorse about it! Really!!

 

by NeoVid
10-20-01
It's time for Sachiko Says!
The latest email we got says: "How can you even think about humor at a time like this? This is the time to clear our minds. Humor and anger are both bad ideas. Signed, Objector."
See, you're overlooking one thing: real Americans don't think at times like this! That's commie talk you're spreading.
So remember, never think or the military will send guys to your house some night! Sachiko says! Hee hee.

 

by NeoVid
11-03-01
You know, when I was a superhero, villains only had two lines: "Ha ha ha!" and "No, that's impossible!"
I'm a sentimental old fool... I'd give anything to hear those again.
Really?
Yo, Titania! Think you'll ever go out with Captain Geriatric?

 

by NeoVid
11-03-01
In my last game of Mage Knight, I won another unique figure, the Order of Vladd.
He's a vampire king, so I'm thinking of naming him after Wirthling.
I don't get it...
What does Wirthling have in common with someone who sucks- oh.

 

by NeoVid
11-06-01
Unit 4, how goes the search of the derelict human ship we discovered?
We have discovered the name of the ship from its memory banks, and recovered DNA traces of the former crew!
Ah, yes. I saw they named it the "Hugh_G._Rection." What have you done with the DNA samples?
Well... we have made a few cloning attempts, so we can finally know what humans looked like, but the samples were only 75% intact. Our_best_attempts_are_in the lab...
"Oh dear Gre-hal, I hope it's the one on the left!"

 

by NeoVid
11-15-01
It's right there.
Captain Obvious has appropriated my gimmick in the past, so I can do the same to him.

 

by NeoVid
11-16-01
If you always think that you are the one the bullies keep harassin...
Ow!! Stop hitting me, you meanies!
Learn how to put an end to their lives, be an assassin...
Yes... kill them all...
A rifle is the best thing to use, especially when you start out...
TOBOR NEVER THOUGHT HE'D SAY THIS, BUT DON'T POINT THAT THING AT TOBOR.

 

by NeoVid
11-16-01
Use .45 caliber hollowpoint rounds to blast the bastard's heart out...
Dammit, I had just got my body replaced!
A telescopic sight on your gun will make the target bigger...
PULL!
Put the laser sight on his head, then pull the trigger...
Freakin' crosshairs... I turned the magnification up too high...

 

by NeoVid
11-16-01
Shoot him again til he falls to the ground, make sure he's dead completely...
That Billings guy has been keeping me busy lately...
Moh homicides every minute...
So, who's left...
o/~ Find all the witnesses, gather them up, and kill them all discreetly...
GET BACK HERE!
Note to self: Don't say that when right next to the psychotic maniac.

 

by NeoVid
11-19-01
Sir, I'm taking a survey, could you answer a few questions?
Sure.
First of all, how important do you think the educational system is?
Edyukashun no importent!
OK, your answer goes with the other 92% who said that...

 

by NeoVid
11-19-01
All right, the next question will need a more detailed answer...
What do you think is the cause of the widespread ignorance and apathy in this country?
Don't know and don't care.
When will someone give another answer?

 

by NeoVid
11-29-01
My birthday's on the 25th, and that sucks!
I only get half as many presents, because everyone thinks I won't know the difference!
Nobody remembers you when your birthday's on Christmas.
Tell me about it.

 

by NeoVid
12-04-01
OK, the guy I've been set up with sounded like my type. I hope he doesn't turn out to be some kind of freak...
Blind dates have always gone wrong for me, but this girl sounded pretty compatible. Hope she's hot...
...It's my brother, Pete.
Wow, she is- wait a second...

 

by NeoVid
12-04-01
So he says, "What would you do if I hit you?" and I say, "Fall down and bleed..."
For a second, I thought I'd like going to a comedy club on a date, but this geek just keeps blabbing about how much he got beat up in school.
So after he slugged me, I bounced off the wall, then slid on my face across the schoolyard...
OK, girl, just keep smiling and don't think about how your brother 's date must be like paradise compared to this.
You want me to kiss you while you're in the donkey suit? ...I find myself strangely intrigued.

 

by NeoVid
12-04-01
So, uh... besides the donkey suit fetish, what do you do for fun?
Mostly I go to therapy a lot.
I think I'll be able to relate to that soon. What else?
I've always been a big movie fan! I saw Saving Private Ryan the day it came out. Funniest movie I ever saw! What do you do?
Well, I watch a lot of wrestling, and I like roleplaying gam-
WHAT!? I can't believe I've been going out with such a freak!

 

by NeoVid
12-04-01
I don't believe it... rejected by the woman in the donkey suit. ...Wait, I do believe it.
So I'm unwanted by hot women, average women, ugly women, dumb women, fat women, and now weird women.
*sigh* Great work with my lovelife, Satan.
Thanks! I was wondering when you'd notice.

 

by NeoVid
12-07-01
So I says, "Them saddles ain't gonna carry themselves," so I started taking 'roids, working out every day, and now I can hold this thing all day_without_strainin' mahself.
Ha ha!
Why the fuck didn't I think of that?

 

by NeoVid
12-26-01
Another Christmas goes off without a hitch!
Ah, it's done with for another year, and we can all take our time off and get back to our ordinary lives.
Gotta roll, Kris. The wife always gets real hot when I tell her about all the hard work I did over the past month.
I hear ya, man. I'm just glad to get out of this damned costume and into my normal outfit.
Whew, much better.

 

by NeoVid
1-03-02
Seems like years since the last time I was at SC.com...
I'll just have to hope that being the only regular who disappears and comes back every few months is enough of a memorable gimmick...
DH-01? Who's that?
Goddamnit.

 

by NeoVid
1-03-02
What did I do?
Nothing. You're just the only SC regular who's obviously a minority.
Hey! I'm half as black as he is!
Goddammit.

 

by NeoVid
1-05-02
So, what did you think of my brilliant escape plan that I was too lazy to make a comic about?
It's still your fault I was in there in the first place. Just because I'm barely known at SC doesn't mean I deserve to be treated like Wirthling.
You're right. Maybe you'd get more respect if I changed the character I represent you with....
Okay, NOW I'm going to have to kill you A LOT, Vid.
And what of their former cellmate?
I mIss thAt nEOvId gUy. hOw AbOUt yOU, lIttlE fUxxxOr?
I miss him too.

 

by NeoVid
1-09-02
TOBOR WONDERS IF ANYONE REALIZES THAT HIS MOTIVATION IS JEALOUSY OVER NOT HAVING A GREAT ASS.

 

by NeoVid
1-16-02
A man too broke to have any fun...
Decided to burn off his beard with the sun...
He ended civilization with his solar light gun...
Then ended the strip with a pun...
Bum a shave?
D'oh.

 

by NeoVid
1-17-02
There was a little boy who snapped...
Of that day they still tell stories...
The disaster was caused by his name...
Never call your son "Mike Litoris."
Burma Shave.

 

by NeoVid
1-18-02
When traveling around, DH was busted...
They didn't even give him a chance...
He later found out the cause of arrest...
He had crack sticking out of his pants.
Burma Shave. And you're dead.
It's worth it.

 

by NeoVid
1-25-02
George Lucas was murdered today by several thousand movie viewers, immediately after a guest star appeared_in_this_scene in Episode 2...
Nanoo, nanoo!

 

by NeoVid
1-28-02
This damn Nintendo 64 game I bought WON'T WORK!!
OK, calm down, sir. Just let me see it, and I'll see if I can figure out what's wrong.
I've got it right here...
Dear God, what happened to this cartridge?
Well, when it wouldn't fit in my laptop's disc drive, I had to cut most of the casing off.

 

by NeoVid
2-05-02
I've uncovered the entire worldwide conspiracy! Really! They've sent guys to silence me! You gotta believe me...
Yeah, sure. As soon as they show up-
*SWOOSH*
Oh no! MysteryNinja!
...I'll believe you. Um... Damn.

 

by NeoVid
2-05-02
*BRRING*
They must be calling to taunt us...
LISTEN, YOU BASTARDS! YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE SOMEONE RIGHT OUT OF THE STATION WITHOUT_PAYING_FOR_IT! SHOW YOUR FACES SO WE CAN SHOVE EM UP YOUR-
...Wilson, this is the commissioner.
Damn.

 

by NeoVid
2-05-02
So the commish said we had to send our best guy, and that's you.
No problem. You've already found the guy's trail, all I have to do follow it and try not to get killed.
Three hours later...
Hmm. Got this far, but now it looks like a dead end...
This is the closet. You took the wrong door on the way out.
I knew that.

 

by NeoVid
2-05-02
The crazy guy was supposed to have said something about you people. It's the most we have to go on.
He said you were Satan worshipers, but I didn't expect anything this disturbing...
That's supposed to be "Satin worshipers," officer.

 

by NeoVid
2-05-02
The, uh, worshipers told me what I needed to know. The rest of the investigation was an anti-climax that isn't worth talking about.
Every climax is worth talking about.
You saved me, and you managed to bust the leader of the conspiracy!
Yep, my career's set for life, and now we know to always listen to raving maniacs.
HOW DID YOU COPS MANAGE TO FIND ME?
It was easy. You kept shouting the name of your organization, the Robot Alliance for the Advancement of Assault on Rectums.

 

by NeoVid
2-15-02
Aw yeah, three references in three panels, without even using sound!
NeoVid is screwing himself over by overlooking this panel. Unless he's Draconias. And I just made another two references. Without saying 'All your base.'

 

by NeoVid
2-24-02
DexX! You're back!
What's on my back!? Get it off!

 

by NeoVid
3-08-02
Why is it we have all these pointless arguments?
Because you're a lazy, bitch-ass slob.
I mean, you're too lazy to even be the default Left Character. Having a freakin' stand-in fill in for you... he was almost as pathetic as you are.
TOBOR STILL CAN'T GET ASIANGIRL2'S APPROVAL. TOBOR JUST WANTS AFFECTION...

 

by NeoVid
3-13-02
This is the best comic idea I've had in weeks.
Yuo no what I sed when i losst wieght?
"ahh! I am dieting!"
I sincerely apologize for the fact that I make comics.

 

by NeoVid
3-19-02
'The Nobles' is the world's first interactive sitcom, where the actors know how you_feel_as_the_show_goes_on!
Jimmy's getting home in a minute, right, dear?
It's his first day back in school after his accident... I hope he did all right.
How did you do in school today, Jimmy?
The math test was too tricky. And the teacher found out I hadn't done my homework. I said the dog ate it- *BZZZAAAAAPP* AIIIGGH!!
Uh... I... er... How was your day at the office- *ZAP* I mean... the strip club? *Ding*
Well... this guy offered to make an x-rated video of me- *Ding* ...and my three friends- *Dingdingdingding*

 

by NeoVid
3-24-02
I have the world record for "most boards broken with head"!
Wow. You must be a great martial artist.
I'm not a martial artist.

 

I can outpun you any time!
by NeoVid, 3-25-02

 

I'm falling to my death!
by NeoVid, 3-25-02

 

Well, it is my site... maybe I should try to read everything on it.
by NeoVid, 3-25-02

 

by NeoVid
3-25-02
Moh!
Can't... take... anymore... YOU DIE NOW!

Showing page 3.

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