All comics by Screendummie

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by Screendummie
3-14-05
Fuck, even after the apocalypse, all them athletes are still using steriods.
Who woulda thought they would still be stuck on earth?
Heard that Satan is gonna to check for 'riod users.
If you wanted to see if ball players are using steriods, wouldn't you just look at their shrivled sack?
How'd you know about the plan?
I was the one that suggested it.

 

by Screendummie
3-15-05
Shit...I cast one spell that worked, kinda, and I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Looks like someone is comming. Doesn't look good.
*groan*
Hey, baby, I lost my Teddy bear, can I sleep with you?

 

by Screendummie
3-15-05
Are you tired?
No, just a little pissed. Why do you ask?
*groan*
Because you've been running through my mind all day.

 

by Screendummie
3-16-05
Listen, no more lame jokes. You're dead...right?
Yep.
And explain to me what this place is.
Earth.
I think its a help when I can find someone who has more than half a brain.
I love brains!

 

by Screendummie
3-16-05
I've just been fucking with you. Its the post-apocalyptic world of your future.
Fucking great. I worshiped Satan and all that crap, and this is the thanks I get?
You could say you've been "Left Behind".
You don't realize how much I intensely hate you now.
You're not the first, baby!

 

by Screendummie
3-16-05
I don't have any idea how to get back.
Why would you want to go back?
Just look at this shit hole!
Its not that bad, but we can find a way.
But fucking how?
Dammit, I don't know. Be a Wic-Can, not a Wic-Can't!

 

by Screendummie
3-17-05
I'm gonna ask you this one question about where Satan is. Without your shit or else.
Or else what?
I'll turn you into...No I'll curse you...
Fuck, I can't even kick you in the nuts.
Nuts to be you.

 

by Screendummie
3-17-05
So you know Satan?
I can't say that I do not know him.
So where is he?
In the center of the earth where he kicks it with his hommies
How do I get there?
Just click your heels and say: There's no place home. There's no place like home.

 

by Screendummie
3-17-05
So...what's this place?
Gay Heaven.
God made another heaven for gays?
Yeah. He thought it was better this way.
Why would He do that?
Cause God's a slob and he can't stand the whole "Queer Eye" critique from them.

 

by Screendummie
3-17-05
So...what's this place?
Gay Heaven.
God made another heaven for gays?
Yeah. He thought it was better this way.
Why would He do that?
Cause God's a slob and he can't stand the whole "Queer Eye" critique from them.

 

by Screendummie
3-19-05
Why are we walking through here anyways?
Its a short cut.
But we've been walking for two hours.
Listen, its a short cut.
Bullshit!
Fine! You got me. I we're going to pick my laundry.

 

by Screendummie
3-19-05
Why is it so empty here? Gays don't go to heaven or something?
Oh, most of them do.
Then where the hell are they?
They're out protesting something.
About equal rights in heaven?
What? No, they have that already. They're protesting the firing of the "Indian" from the Village People.

 

by Screendummie
3-19-05
Thought we've would've seen someone by now.
Yeah, I'm taking the long way to avoid a...friend.
By friend, you mean your significant other? You can be honest with me.
Shit no! I'm a bachelor for life.
I'm just avoiding that damned Eidolon that's still trapped here.

 

by Screendummie
3-19-05
Who's that?
Shhh...its the Eidolon. Let me do the talking. He's temperamental.
Friends at last! I have been lonely. Can you find me a way out of this enternal torement for me?
Yeah, I'm kinda thirsty. If you can find me some grape soda, sure.
Shall it be served in the skull of my latest victim?

 

by Screendummie
3-19-05
And so Zombie X guides the Wiccan and Eidolon on a perilous quest...The Wiccan, looking for Satan to be sent back to the correct quantum period of time.
And the Eidolon, forgotten by Satan, also searches for his dark master to liberate him from his prison...Gay Heaven.
Stay tuned for their next great challenge! This queer guy tweeking his nipples in that oh so tingling feeling to get that just right nipply sensation!

 

by Screendummie
3-20-05
Shit, not him! You're uncle is queer?
Shit...he reminds me of my Uncle Phil. Na...he just likes to be dominated by women.
Hey there, I'm kinda lost. We're looking for Satan.
You too buddy? I'm looking for him to see if he can get the "Indian" re-hired.
Why would Satan help you do that?
Because only Satan could make a group as evil as the Village People. So maybe he'd be so evil to let both the Mexican and Indian together in the same group.

 

by Screendummie
3-21-05
Don't call me sexist.
Cause I ain't sexist. I'm sexiiieeeest.
But I ain't sexist.
But if I am sexist. Than I'm the sexiest sexist, bitch!
Call me Sexy Sex. Sexy Sexiest.
Damn right, baby. Can I lick your undead, shrivled, raisin scrotum?

 

by Screendummie
3-21-05
Fucking...s.o.b. ...Christ..I can't believe he's with us too.
I count us lucky that those two aren't talking to us for the moment.
I knew you would need me to get to Satan.
Yeah, as long as you and the Eidolon don't get at it.
But just imagine what he could do with those mouth tenderals!
Didn't we have this chat before about crossing our "rainbow line" of shit I don't wanna know?

 

by Screendummie
3-22-05
Thanks for the stay.
Its all cool. I just wished Eidolon wanted to bunk with me instead.
*Oh baby...that's so fucking good...*
Yeah. I kinda wished that wiccan chick wanted the same for me too.
Hey? What's that sound in the other room?
*Yes! Yes! Use those babies there!*
Um...I think that's the Eidolon usings his tenderals.
That's not fucking fair! I wanted them all over my body! That bitch!

 

by Screendummie
3-22-05
*God yes! Deeper in there! Twirl it around some more!*
Shit, man. I can't get any sleep with them at it.
Yeah, I do need my beauty sleep. Got to put my facial mask on, so I hope they stop by then.
* Baby, faster! Faster! Put them all in there!*
You wear a faggy facial mask?
Calling anything I do faggy or queer doesn't hurt me because I am, dumbass! And since when do you sleep at all?
*Fucking yes, baby! I've been a bad girl! Punish me with them!*
Oh, I can't. I can still dream, can't I?
You can't dream either, baby.

 

by Screendummie
3-24-05
That was the greatest Eidolon.
Yes, bitch, I am the greatest.
I don't think that I want to go back now. I think I love you.
...
Oh, baby! Again? God you're insatiable! Fuck yes! Feed on me there!
...

 

by Screendummie
3-25-05
Fuck, those two didn't even get up this morning. They'll catch up, maybe.
I can't even imagine what juices they got all over my sheets.
I took a peak when they were asleep, you're gonna need to worry more than just juices on the sheets.
Even my Liberache tribute?!
Lets just say, you're out of luck.

 

by Screendummie
3-26-05
I've been thinking, after I get the Indian back, I wanna promote a music festival.
What in the world would that be?
Just imagine it: Queerfest 2005. It'll have, of course, The Village People, Queen, Judas Priest, Elton John and more!
Why wouldn't you have groups like Good Charlotte, Green Day or Usher?
I said QUEERfest, not Pussyfest!
Don't be so tempramental, asshole.

 

by Screendummie
3-26-05
How come they're aren't kick ass names like Slayer or Butthole Surfers for bands anymore?
We get shitty names like Blink 182 and Good Charlotte.
Butt hole surfers?
Some alternative band in the 90's.
BUTTHOLE SURFERS!

 

by Screendummie
3-27-05
God I'm hungry.
Yeah, we should've brought some grub with us.
Got some hot tamales on my mind.
Yeah, I like them stuffed with brains and a side of frijoles.
Yeah, but I'm thinking of the Mexican's hot tamale.
"Rainbow line!"

 

by Screendummie
3-28-05
Honey, do you think we should catch up to them?
Bitch, why would you want to hang out with a queer and an asshole?
You got me there. But I do want to get home eventually.
...
Ohhhh...baby. Then again. Do that again right there!
...

 

by Screendummie
3-28-05
Fuck, this is taking a long time. You know where we're going?
Um...I thought you knew where we're going. Isn't that why I had you come.
Well...I told you a white lie.
What the fuck?
Why do you think I never came here when you did?
Because sweaty buns and leather chaps are painful to pry apart?

 

by Screendummie
3-29-05
Do you ever wonder about life?
Nope.
I mean existence itself.
Nope.
You're not listening are you?
Nope.

 

by Screendummie
3-29-05
Not gonna listen to me, eh? Fine then. I'll just keep talking.
Uh huh.
One time, I met this webbed footed hermaphrodite. You know, I don't usually go for anything with a vagina, but you should've seen the bugle on it.
Uh huh.
Then I had this craving for marmalade too. And I always wondered how it would be like to bathe in it too. So I flirted my way into its heart and...
Uh huh.

 

by Screendummie
3-29-05
...And since I had the hot tube filled with the yummy stuff. It was like magic with me and it.
Uh huh.
God, I love its webbed feet. I was licking and sucking the marmalade from between the webs. And then you should seen what it could do with its feet!
Uh huh.
I mean, fuck ya! And it cleaned off all the marmalade from my nipples and all of my inner most sensitive areas. Especially at my...
Uh huh.

 

by Screendummie
3-30-05
Penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises...
God, this is so much fun. I've should've done this like an hour ago.
Penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises...
I don't think he'll get it yet.
Penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises, penises...
I wonder how much long I can get him to say "penises".

 

by Screendummie
3-30-05
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Screendummie/274565
You know, I remembered the time you talked about virginity, and whether you lose it or not to a clone.
He still remembers that?
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Screendummie/274565
But is it gay sex doing your clone?
Wow...he really is trying to get me to cave in.
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Screendummie/274565
Or is it self loving? That special kind of sick twisted loving that I oh so desire!
Stupid queer. I was expecting that from you.

 

by Screendummie
4-01-05
God I hate this site. All these people tell same boring jokes about white guy racist jokes. Shitty religious jokes. More boring shit about Replublicans and the Prez.
Uh huh.
Gawd awful sexist jokes. And don't let me get started about the damn "I hit the random button, so I'll come up with something even worse."
Uh huh.
Damn fucking little Hitlers that pat each other on the ass for the shitty crap they make. The fucking Hitlers only like the exact same stuff people do of their shit.
Uh huh.

 

by Screendummie
4-02-05
Fuck...some people didn't get our "April Fool's" joke.
Yeah...some people have no real sense of humor.
Silly "Evil D", he just didn't get it. Maybe I should stab him with an umbrella!
Why the hell would he do that?
Then open it wide so he can do another ancient Pokemon joke.
He's sick like a diseased Ethiopian!

 

by Screendummie
4-02-05
Christ! I hope no one gets offended.
Yeah, some people are brittle.
I mean, fuck, can't make fun of anyone anymore. Unless...
I think you're getting there.
That's it! I'll donate money to get me votes! Or NOT!
Yeah, if you have to buy it, you don't deserve it.

 

by Screendummie
4-02-05
I need someone to hold me now, baby. I mean, I feel so terrible now.
Hope he doesn't expect me to hold him.
Emotions will flare up. People will be angry.
Angry emotions kick ass!
I can't stand being angry too long. I hope I can kiss and make up. God I love the make up sodomy.
That's something I don't miss!

 

by Screendummie
4-02-05
Shit, they left without us.
They shall pay with their souls!
Well...it was kinda out fault. We've been at it on and off for a couple days now.
Their is no excuse for their for them! I do not want to continue in Gay Heaven.
Yeah, everyone being so polite and tidy is kinda gets on my nerves.
But those souls are the sweetest to devour!

 

by Screendummie
4-03-05
Shit, a day off torturing souls.
Damn Mormons take the most of my iniquitous powers of torment. They're like damn cockroaches.
Like the damn Columbians. Don't get me started on those coke making assholes.

 

by Screendummie
4-03-05
¡Madre de Dios!
Damn yanquis marica and zombie. Knew those pendejos would get lost.
Have to see el diablo myself. Wonder what he'll think seeing a Mexicano wandering around.

 

by Screendummie
4-03-05
El Diabolo, I have to asking you to help me.
What the hell? They aren't allowed here!
The Village People, they're in crisis.
But why? You know the rules. You damn Mexicans are God's choosen people.
Si, Diablo. You better cooperate.
¡Veta a la verga!

 

by Screendummie
4-05-05
Diablo, you know after El Salvador spent a weekend in hell, he made us His Choosen people.
Christ, I know, you damn greaser.
Now now, Diablo, don't poor honey in my ears.
But what about the Jews?
The Hebrews? Oh, they are Choosen too. I hear Moses and Einstien play Nuke the Nazis on the weekends.
Por que no, come mi mierda!

 

by Screendummie
4-05-05
Enough chit chat, Diablo. I wanna talk Village People.
Why would it matter to me? Aren't they in Gay Heaven?
Si, Diablo. But they unfairly fired the "Indian" for stereotyping, and they hired me in his place.
And the point of this bullshit?
I just thought it would evil, evil enough for Diablo, to get the Indian and me together in the group.
That is indeed evil even for my malevolent standards!

 

by Screendummie
4-06-05
I finally did it! Got him hired back! Now I gotta find the Indian somewhere out here.
Shit, I know he somewhere...Fuck, not him.
Ass...Err..Amigo, you looking to give the Indian good news?
Huh? Shit, I forgot about that. I was looking for a yummy ice cream shop near here!

 

by Screendummie
4-06-05
Ice cream?
Yeah...and I got this thought stuck in my head.
You know, I don't wanna hear this.
Shouldn't starving people eat their feces? Then they would never be hungry again.
You know how much I hate you?
Yeah, I get that alot.

 

by Screendummie
4-06-05
When you speak, amigo, no one likes you.
Yeah yeah. Enough of that. The bugz on my nugz itch.
How the fuck do you get crabs or scabies?
What? No I'm dead, so I got me some awsome maggots and flies around my nugz in the heat.
Again, amigo, you need to read my lips.
Your lips look like little wormies that come out my ass.

 

by Screendummie
4-06-05
¡Mierda! Wish the asshole would stop talking. Hey...I gotta idea.
Blah blah..penises..blah ...hookers...blah...brains and batteries...blah blah...crack monkey...
I'm supposed to see Gigli tonight with my esposa. Wanna come?
Blah blah...der? What? I think I have to...
Knew that bullshit would work.
...Get going!

 

by Screendummie
4-07-05
The world needs me. I'm just a little ol' Reality Fairy.
I pop up everyonce in a while to bring some sense to the senseless.
Look! Someone listening to Green Day! Here I come to save the day!

 

by Screendummie
4-07-05
Man...I fucking hate old people. I ain't gonna trust anyone over 30 anymore.
Hey, what the hell are you?
The Reality Fairy, dipshit. Do you listen to Green Day?
Um...yeah?
Then quit being such a fucking American idiot.

 

by Screendummie
4-07-05
You can't talk to me that way, bitch!
I'll talk to a dipshit any way I want to.
Bitch, you know nothing. Green Day is like the shit.
Their music would smell like shit it if it could.
They're like right to speak their mind against the so-called War on Terror and Big Oil.
War and Big Oil, eh? I'm bout to beat some reality into you.

 

by Screendummie
4-07-05
Don't you get it? They're speaking against war and oil like a bunch other groups.
Aren't you and the music industry clever? Did you forget that the hundreds of millions of CDs, DVDs and their cases are made of petroleum?
No...But that's not the point.
The point is you're a dipshit. You claim you care but then enslave your self to Big Oil that you claim to hate.
What about Big Business and Bush? Huh?
Oh, I was just starting to get warmed up!

Showing page 3.

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