All comics by Sly_guy99

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by Sly_guy99
6-25-07
My report is on bats. ...AHEM...
dusk! with a creepy tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings! BATS with glowing red eyes and glistening fangs these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto...
(WHOLE CLASS) BATS ARE BUGS!
look who's giving the report? YOU chowderheads...or ME?!
Dylan i'd like to see you a moment

 

by Sly_guy99
6-25-07
Man Alive! can you believe what my teacher wrote on my report? she says i obviously did no reasearch whatsoever. and that my scientific illustration looks like the batman logo with fangs!
she's pretty perceptive.
she didn'y even give me credit for my professional clear plastic binder.
what did your mom have to say?
nothing so far. no if you'll excuse me i have to go burry this before it comes to life and tries to strangle me!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-25-07
Well, recent study's show that the states are taking a huge no tolerance policy on serial killers and murderers! Not that i care becuase i live in Canada!
Thats not like them, any way i think it's sort of strange that federal convicts can't vote but can be elected!
Hey Congrats Butch, you mad top ten americas most wanted!

 

AMERICA SUCKS
by Sly_guy99, 6-25-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-25-07
Today: A live breaking news, has just abrupted.
it seems local comic-strip writer Dylan or Shy_guy99 has just been shot for saying 'AMERICA SUCKS' live on the internet!
We have live have a live breaking footage of dylan right now. ROLL TAPE
I Completely apologize for say what i said. I now Relize that what i said was wrong. IRAQ SUCKS!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-25-07
Chen, i need you for amoment.
what is it Mr. Shatner?
Apperently their are rats in our basements. Go kill them!
Is this what i'm redused to?
Basement
Are you what all this fuss is about?
Don't kill me, i can cook!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-25-07
let me just tell you this. Rata-Phooie was supposed to be @ the office 18 so this is @ the office 19
Chen did you take care of those rats?
Yes!
Good chop him up, bash him in the head or flush him i don't care what you do with him!
But sir, he's accutally kind of cute. I'm gonna keep him and call him Emy!
You keep him and you're Fired!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-25-07
What'll it be Chen? Keep him in a can or get the can?
No, i will not kill him!
i guess you fired then.
thats okay, because people will line up to eat what a rat has to cook. plus Disney and Pixar are going to offer me a movie contract! So I'm going to Paris to be a famous chef! i'll be set for life!
LATER
How did he takeyour resicnation?
Not too well!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
i haven't been golfing since i broke my arm!
How do did you break your arm at golf?
Fell off the Ballwasher!

 

After being rearended
I'm not happy!
Which one are you then?
by Sly_guy99, 6-26-07

 

After being rearended
I'm not happy!
Which one are you then?
by Sly_guy99, 6-26-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
Finding a club at school is like pick a booger.
everyone wins!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
i'm choking on you're aftershave.
i'll give you something to choke on!
that things not big enough to choke a caterpiller!
WHY DAD, WHY?

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
wow! nobody on the swings i can't believe it! haha i almost never get the swings at recess. this is great!
no one else telling me to hurry up...
either this my lucky day or i missed the end-of-recess bell again!

 

be wery wery quiet, i'm hunting wabbits!
lisps arn't cute, you need corrective surgery!
by Sly_guy99, 6-26-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
Good evening, I am World Renouned host Carla Carlson
And i'm Max Maxwell, today troubling news from the front as one of our reporters dressed up as the easter bunny for a toddlers party was shot earlier today.
Our Sketch artest has put together a photo of what the culprut might look like...

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
I hate sharks what do you hate.
People who have their feet stuck in cement and sit at the bottom of a pond!
There's one behind me, isn't there?
GURGLE

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
I LIKE FOLLOWING THE NEWS. NEWS ORGANIZATIONS KNOW I WON'T SIT STILL FOR ANY SERIOUS DISCUSSION OF COMPLEX AND BORING ISSUES!
THEY GIVE ME WHAT I WANT: ANTITS, EMOTIONAL CONFRONTATION, SOUND BITES, SCANDAL, SOB STORIES AND POPULAITY POLLS ALL PACKAGED AS A SOAP OPERA AND HORSE RACE! IT'S VERY ENTERTAINING.
YOU CAN STILL TELL THIS IS AN IN-DEPTH STORY. BECAUSE ITS GOT AN ARTICLE NEXT TO THE CHART.
THEN COMMENTATORS WONDER WHY THE PUBLIC IS SO CYNICAL ABOUT POLITICS.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
PENIS: Please Ejaculate Now I'm Sleepy.
AMISH: Americas Minority In Straw Hats.
OPERA: Obese People Entertain Rich Americans!

 

IS IT TRUE BALD MEN MAKE BETTER LOVERS WALTER?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW I'VE NEVER MADE LOVE TO A BALD MAN!
by Sly_guy99, 6-26-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
DAD WE NEED TO GET CABLE TV.
NO WE DON'T
BUT PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE WATCHING DIFFERENT TV SHOWS THE WE ARE! IF WE DONT ALL WATCH THE SAME TV, WHAT WILL KEEP US TOGETHER? WE CAN'T RELY ON CRAP TV CHANNELS ANYMORE!
BUT THEY DON'T COME INTO OUR HOMES!
THERE'S STILL WAL-MART AND MCDONALDS

 

I JUST SAW MY PARENTS DOING IT!
TAKE IT FROM ME! ITS BETTER SEE TO BOTH YOUR PARENTS DOING IT THEN JUST ONE!
by Sly_guy99, 6-26-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
Tweet Tweet
You're my new pet and i might have to find a name for you!
Soon
Tweet Tweet
Lets see there aren't many name for birds...Tweety sounds sorta lame. But thats all you do is tweet.
Tweet Tweet
How about 'Spitz'

 

by Sly_guy99
6-26-07
MASTER KAKASHI HATAKE REPORTING FOR DUTY.
I AM ZABUZA, FOR I AM THE ONLY MISSING NIN THAT HAS A SWORD.... OTHER THAN KISHAMAI.....FISH STICK AS WE CALL HIM HERE IN KOHONA.
WAIT...WAIT...WAIT. KAKASHI WOULDN'T BE CONVERSING AS SUCH, ZABUZA AND KAKASHI ARE RIVALS. PLUS ZABUZA IS FROM THE CLAN OF THE HIDDEN MIST NOT FROM THE LEAF VILLAGE.
SO WHATS YOU'RE POINT? I'M ZABUZA AND YOU PLAYING KAKASHI, LETS JUST FIGHT ALREADY.
BUT WE DON'T FIGHT, YOU KILL GATOU AND HIS MEN WHILE HAKU ATTACKS NARUTO. THEN I AM ABOUT TO KILL YOU BUT HAKU JUMPS IN FRONT. SO YOU DID OF SEVEER BLOOD LOSS.
HAKU DIES? BUT HE'S SO YOUNG.....DARN YOU MAIHASHI KISHIMOTO! DARNNN YOOOOUUU!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
NOW
NO CARSON, THATS SPITZ, YOU NEED TO BE NICE TO SPITZY BIRD. HE'S YOUR NEW BROTHER, NOW GO PLAY.
HEY DYLAN, CAN I EAT THAT PRETTY BIRDDY IN THE WINDOW?
SOON
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP? I CAN'T EAT THAT BIRD....ITS MY BROTHER.
HE'S SERIOUSLY SMOKING IT. WHY DON'T I TAKE IT AND YOU CAN EAT IT AND BLAME IT ON ME?
LATER

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Hey Carl...Whats With The White Costume?
I Had Got Some Speggetti Sauce On My Other Outfit.
Now Theres A Party Only For Gays But I Can't Get In Because I'm Not Gay, But I've Never Been Too A Party So i Kind Of Want To Go.
You Already Look And Act Gay So Just Tell Them You Are.
I Think They Just Got In
I'm Not Gay Now You Take That Back Or I'll B***h Slap Your A** All The Way Back To lyza Minelle's House!
I Love It When A Man Takes Charge!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
today for show and tell, i've brought a tiny marvel of nature: a single snowflake
i think we might all learn a lesson from how utterly unique and exquisite crystal turns into an ordinary, boring molecule of water, just like ever other one, when you bring them into the classroom.
and Now, while the analogy sinks in, i'll be leaving you drips and going outside.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
nothing i do is my fault. my family is dysfunctional and my parents won't enpower me! consequently i'm not self actualized.
my behavior is addictive functioning a disease process of toxic codeopendency! i need holistic healing and wellness before i'll accept any responsibility for my actions!
i love the culture of victimhood
one of us needs to stick head in a bucket of ice water.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
i used to hate writing assignments, but now i enjoy them.
i realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas obsucre poor resoning and inhibit clarity. with a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! my report!
Academia here i come!
"the dynamics of interbeings and monological imperatives in DICK AND JANE: a true study in pshyic transrelational gender modes."

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
you know why birds don't write their memoirs? becuase birds don't lead epic lives, thats why! Who'd want to read what a bird does? nobody thats who!
this is changing the subject but have you ever noticed how somebody can say something totally loonie and not be aware of if? what are we supposed to do just let it slide??
i say just punch 'im then and there.
sometimes if you wait, he'll top himself!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
the more you think about things. the weirder they seem. Take this milk. why do we drink COW milk?
who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said "i think i'll drink whatever comes out of these things when i squeeze em?''
isn't that weird?
i think the converstaion should be kept at a minimum until afternoon!

 

Now that i have you're attion please send me messages and read some of my comics please, see if you like.
by Sly_guy99, 6-27-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Are girls in manga and anime comics and tv shows always that horny? My god, i just was surffing my tv and saw this show called 'MewMew power' my sweet lord, these to girls fall in love with these..
Two guys and they think that they won't tell them anything about they're personal life because they read in a magazine that boys just keep them selves secret to look cooler, you know because..
Everything you see and hear in the media today is true just becuase they have professionals who do this crap for a living doesn't mean its true. they could be homosexuals and screwing each other!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
the world is kind of like tv. casual ovserver might even confuse the two. but if you notice here the colors are less intense and the people are uglier.
also, i see that several minutes can go by without a single car chase, explosion, murder or past personal exchange.
Yay my favorite deordorant commercial. ps. why settle for less?

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Paul Gauguin asked 'Whence do we come? What are we? where do we go?"
well i don't know about anyone else, but i cam from my room. i'm a kid with big plans. and i'm going outside. See ya later!
say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?

 

the gay church
God Didn't create Adam and Eve. He Created Adam and Steve.
by Sly_guy99, 6-27-07

 

C'mon we're going to be late!
LapDance Tuesday?
by Sly_guy99, 6-27-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Good evening i'm Max Maxwell and this will come as a shock.
The former gay president announced today that he wasn't gay anymore. The whole crowd of gay men and women started throwing large peice of rocks and metal intending to kill him.
But seeing as how they're all gay, they threw like sissy's giving him minor cuts and bruises!

 

In Sad News Carla Carlson was killed erlier today after the work out machine she was working on collasped and crushed her like a bug!
by Sly_guy99, 6-27-07

 

Once again Brad Stayed up to the Wii hours of the morning
by Sly_guy99, 6-27-07

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Our traffic safety poster needs a catchy slogan that promotes awarness and caution. any ideas?
How about "don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you'll either get run over or shot!"
I'll check the statistics, but i don't think that happens to many people.
Theres's more to this world then people you know.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Hey Dad. I'm doing a traffic safety poster. do you have any ideas for a slogan?
Sure! "Cyclists have a right to the road too, you noisy, polluting, inconsiderate maniacs! i hope gas goes up to eight bucks a gallon!"
Thanks Dad, I'll go ask mom.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Mom suggested the slogan "before you cross look each way...and you'll get home safe each day"
that's kind of catchy
i like mine better. "be careful, or be road kill"
i hope i have enough cadmium red!
i suppose that lends itself more to your particular brand of illustration.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
a solid foundation of anatomical study is essential for the artist
With My great slogan and you're artwork the traffic safety poster is a shoe-in for the first prize
of course technical skill alone isn't enough. a picture needs depth of feeling.
What should we spend the prize money on?
i'll put some stars to show pain and human suffering.
When you've got talent like ours the world is you oyster.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
There! Finished!
Hey thats terrific. when we win first prize i'll give you 25% of the winnings.
WHAT? i did all the drawing! YOU should get 25%
But it was my great idea. we'll split it 60-40
50-50
A good compromise leaves everybody MAD

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Hi Dylan
I see you wasted you time drawing a safety poster for the contest.
i didn't waste my time.
Sure you did the winning entry is right here.
"Be Carful or Be Roadkill?" thats discusting and whats that on you paper?
Chunky Spaghetti Sauce!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Who would like to show their poster first?
i would i would!
my poster is drawn i patent-pending "3-d gore-o-rama" this picture will accutally attract flies, because the drawing is splattered in spaghetti sauce!
I Can see you're all sick about your chances of winning.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
Well Cody all we have to do now is wait for the judges to award ours with first place. and well be rolling in moolah and prestige.
you know we really out to enter more contests. i never realized how much fun it is to win.
but we haven't won yet.
oh, they'll recongnize greatness when some authority confirms it.

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
our poster didn't win?
i still can't believe it what a miscarriage of justice! this contest was a joke. obviously the judges where biased agains us from the start.
well the important thing is we tried our best.
the important thing is we lost!
oops, i always for get the purpose of competition is to divide people into winners and losers.
whats the point of trying if you can't be a winner!

 

by Sly_guy99
6-27-07
dad, my poster didn't win the contest i think the judges were on the take and the whole thing was rigged. i want you to phone the school board and have them take the prize money and give it to me!
Dylan losing is a part of life. you should learn to be a good sport about it and keep things in perspective after all winning isn't everything.
Is that really what they believe on the planet you're from?
you've been watching athletic shoe ads again haven't you?

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