All comics by Speez

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by Speez
11-27-01
My god, OGO is missing and ILC and LAP are fighting to the death. And the board mods seem to be spamming up the Game forum as this all goes on.
Also...
...this is very clean and minty fresh from coming out of your ass. What's your secert?
For the cleaness, you wash you butt really good with a toliet brush. For the smell, I use butt mints.

 

by Speez
11-27-01
I need to get back to the UBCS quickly? Can you fly?
Sure, just hop and and I can ride you all the way there.
Errr, I mean give you a ride all the way there.
This reminds me of a skit on Saturday Night Live, but I can't put my finger on it.
He's on to me.

 

by Speez
11-29-01
Well, thanks for the ride.
Yes, I really, really, really enjoyed it. We should do it again very soon.
Umm, are we talking about the same thing?
On a scale to one to ten, that was a 69.

 

by Speez
11-29-01
Hey, what's going on! Are ILC and LAP still fighting, and is OGO still messing?
Everything is fine and back the way it was. No thanks to the Board mods.
Then who stepped up and stopped them?
The Great Speez?
Umm, the same person that used to have a Kermit making love to a teddy bear as his personal pic?
I know, it's hard to believe.

 

by Speez
12-06-01
Man, the whole time I was gone, the two boards mods did nothing.
I wonder if that was just a fluke, or they are really that lazy.
CP, I'm too lazy to zip up my pants. Will you do it for me?

 

by Speez
12-06-01
I know what I can do. I'll scare the current mods by demoting one.
But which one?
Your mom
hmmmmmmm

 

by Speez
12-06-01
CP makes an announcement.
This is big news. I am demoting Ace as a board mod. But who will take his place.
Note: In the comic, Speez saved the UBCS from the temp board. I only helped in real life.
Well, the man who saved the UBCS from the temp board, and kept peace while I was kidnapped.
So, Speez is our no board mod.
Whacha talking about CP????

 

by Speez
12-13-01
Speezy boy, congrats on your new board modship.
Ahh, thanks Ace.
I'll have my revenge on you. Becareful because you might have alittle "accident."
Umm, Ace didn't you hear? CP decided to make you a board mod then.
Really, why thank you Speezy. Er, I mean your mom.
This was a strange converstation.

 

by Speez
12-13-01
We go back in time as a young CP mom brings home baby CP (pretend she's holding him)
We're home.
Oops, I dropped you on your head. I hope that doesn't have any long term effects.
Flash forward to today.
Man, I really really want a Gamecube in a bad way.

 

by Speez
12-13-01
Hey Speez, your getting a Gamecube?
Well...
...both Xbox and Gamecube look really good, so I think I'll get Gamecube first.
What? Your getting that piece of trash thing first, you poop head!
Well, the Gamecube is just for little kids you, umm, you, err, POOP HEAD!

 

by Speez
12-13-01
The Unholy War continues...
Gamecube is better, because it's has Nintendo games!
Xbox is better, it has great orignal games like "Halo" and "Oddworld"!
Denza tries to join the Unholy War
I think Playstation 2 is the best.
The first injury of the Unholy War
Oh, the pain. Oh, the pain.

 

by Speez
12-13-01
Beware CP, you want a war, you got one.
Tommrow I'll unleash my master plan to make everyone know that Xbox is better.
I bet you'll forget by tommrow.
Yeah, probably, but the thought still counts!
Well, time to go use the internet to break into Santa's PC and see if he's going to get me a Gamecube.

 

by Speez
12-13-01
That dang CP, he thought I was going to forget! Ha, I'll never forget!
I'll remember, and that will surprise the heck out of him.
Oh dang, what was I not forgetting?

 

by Speez
12-19-01
LAP one day...
Man, I hate my name.
Really, who in the right mind name themselves LAP?
LAP one day...
I GOT THE PERFECT IDEA FOR A NAME, I'LL GO TELL CP NOW!

 

by Speez
12-19-01
CP, i have a new name for myself.
Who in the blue hell are you?
You want to hear it?
I don't care...
I'm now known as Turd Ferguson!
What part of I don't care didn't you understaned?

 

by Speez
1-22-02
Bad news
Guys, I have midterms, I won't be on for awhile.
Yeah guys, I'm gone for awhile too, I got smoking we...I mean I have midterms too.
More bad news
Yeah, I have a crappy internet connection.
Neither will I, I fell down and hit my head and forgot.
Ok, this is just getting dumb now.
I hit my toe hard, it stings like a mother, so I'll be gone too.
I just came to this board, but have a weird urge to leave for a stupid reason.

 

by Speez
1-22-02
Speez, you hear what happen to CP?
No, what?
He played his Gamecube for 86 hours strait, and when he came out of his room he was a giant bug!
That's horrible!
I know, I would hate to be a bug.
No, not that. I pity any body that is forced to play the Gamecube that long.

 

by Speez
1-24-02
Great Speez finds himself in "The Big Happy Welcome Place".
I haven't been here in a while. I wonder why?
Oh, you must be new. Hi, I'm a board mod, Great Speez.
Thank you. My name is Lightitup1337. I was a normal kid intill I tried to smoke the "Magic Blunt".
I think I remember why I don't come here more often.
I also like to set small woodland creatures on fire.

 

by Speez
1-24-02
Alright, due to the fact that I'm whipped by my Gamecube, I will not be at the board alot. So, I think the board could use an admin.
I had to pick a board mod, and the thought of that made me cry in the corner. But I picked DJ!
Alright, cool! Do I get a party topic.
Hell no you dirty pot smoking sack of balls.

 

by Speez
1-24-02
Ian, I need to speak with you.
Did I accidently pee on your toothbrush again?
No, not this time. There is an open mod spot, and you just seem not to go away, so your the newest board mod.
OH YOU SILLY GOOSE, I LOVE YOU. HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE! GOTTA DO THE HAPPY DANCE!
My god, he's going to be dancing till like the year 2099.
YEAH, BREAK IT DOWN. HAPPY DANCE! YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS!

 

by Speez
1-24-02
It started off like any other normal day for board member turned to squirrel I like Cheese.
Yep, done my business at the little squirrels room.
Now I can get back to my game of "Go Fish".
But things turned for the worst.
Small woodland creature! MUST.....SET....ABLAZED!!!
Is it me, or is someone smoking?

 

by Speez
1-24-02
Who in the blue hell are you?
I am Lightitup1337!
Darn newbie and their stupid names.
Fear me cause I have 1337 at the end of my name.
Your butt is on fire.
I know, I can't put it out.

 

by Speez
1-24-02
Screw you Mr. Lightitup, I'm leaving.
Can this day get any weirder?
I'm lost, can you help me?
Ask a stuipid question...

 

by Speez
1-24-02
Hey Speezy, you heard the news?
No, what?
The real Santa Claus is here at UBCS?
Really, the same Santa that gave CP a Gamecube?
Umm, yeah.
I have a few choice words to tell this Santa.

 

by Speez
1-24-02
Ho, Ho, Ho little boy.
Yeah, you would know about "hos". Anyways, how could you give CP a Gamecube and not an Xbox.
Well, you see the Gamecube is priced lower, the memory cards are cheap, the controller is nice, and the simple games are great for young CP.
Those are all good points. I'm just glad you didn't say...
Anyways, Nintendo rocks cause it's just Nintendo. And Microsoft sucks cause they made windows.
Oh, it's on now Santa.

 

by Speez
1-27-02
Yes folks, Ian is still doing the happy dance after learning he has become a board mod.
HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE! GOTTA DO THE HAPPY DANCE!
Are you still doing that stupid dance idiot?
Gayness sense, tingling.
I thought you would stop doing your crap after the last beating I gave you.
Oh, your just a silly goose.
You have no idea how much I hate you.

 

by Speez
1-27-02
You want another Slap like a Girl fight?
Oh yeah.
Even though I beat you in your match last time, you still run around acting all gay like. I can't take your crap no more. I want a rematch!
Oh goody, I get to be in another Slap like a Girl fight!
I will slap the gayness out of you.

 

by Speez
1-28-02
Round 1
Once again, I'm the announcer of this Slap like a Girl fight. If you forgotten me, my name is Good Afterdark.
Ian seems to be doing some kind of happy dance and chanting that he is a board mod too like Ace.
Ace grabs Ian with a huge left accross the face!

 

by Speez
1-29-02
Round 2
Ace now giving Ian a good taste of the back of his hand!
Ian is trying to come back, but Ace won't let him!
Ace with a slap to the nuts! The ref didn't see it!

 

by Speez
1-29-02
Round 3
My god, the shot to Ian's balls didn't stop him, it seems to have made him stronger!
Ace can't believe that Ian got pleasure from him touching him! Ian leaps with increible speed and...
misses Ace and is gonna fall on his face. Ian reaches up to find something to stop him, AND JUST GRABBED ACE DOWN THERE TO STOP HIS FALL!

 

by Speez
1-31-02
Round 4
Both men are down! The ref is counting! If he reaches ten, it ends in a tie! The ref is one three! Six! Ian is almost onto his feet!
Ace leaps up with the Super Backhand Slap to the face that will hurt like heck in the morning.
I made up that name, but dear god, I feel stupid just saying he slapped this and he slapped that over, and over.

 

by Speez
2-03-02
Round
You like that?
Trust me Ace, you don't want me to get mad.
Your mom.
I HATE THE PHARASE! THAT'S IT, THE SUPER HAPPY DANCE OF DEATH!
...what?
Get down! Get funky!

 

by Speez
2-03-02
Round 6
Ian is doing his famous Happy dance, but in overdrive.
Ace can't believe Ian is doing the happy dance in the middle of the fight. Ace is shaking his head in what appears to be pity.
IAN WITH A BIG BACKHAND! AND IAN GOES ON DANCING!

 

by Speez
2-03-02
Ace is stunned by the attack and is muttering something that sounds like a cross between cuss words and "your mom".
Ace is stunned by the attack and is muttering something that sounds like a cross between cuss words and "your mom".
Ace is stunned by the attack and is muttering something that sounds like a cross between cuss words and "your mom".

 

by Speez
2-03-02
OH MYGOD! ACE IS DOING A HAPPY DANCE!
Ian is stunned! He can't believe it! My god, I think Ian is now likes Ace alittle more! Ace with a slap that sends Ian to the ground, and Ace is now coming here?
Why are you here Ace?
Never say that Ian likes me more...ever!

 

by Speez
2-04-02
Final Round!
Ace turns around, but Ian is waiting for him! Ian with a huge left that made the loudest smack sound I ever heard!
Ace is down! Ace is down! The ref is calling for the bell! Ace is out! Ian wins! Ian is the new "Slap like a Girl" Champion!
So, Mr. Ian, how does it feel to beat long time rival Ace, and win back your title?
Well, Mr. Good Afterdark, it feels nice to bring the title home where it belongs.

 

by Speez
2-07-02
It's finally finished. After all this time!
Yes, I've created the biggest sig to ever hit the UBCS. I got to show everyone!
Umm, put how am I gonna lift it up?

 

by Speez
2-10-02
Ace, want to check out my new sig? It's right behind you?
Sure.
Holy mother of god, help us all.
What do you think of it?
Let me just say this. If we took all the mass your sig takes up and replace it with Pizaa hut pizza, there would be enough slices to wrap around the Earth 269 times.

 

by Speez
2-11-02
LAP and Denza talk about Ariel's big sig.
Did you see the size of it? It's so big and full of crap I fell to my knees and began weeping.
Yeah, I think I'm blind in one eye. But it is missing the most scariest thing in the world. Man boobs.
Oh, it has those too. It's near the back.
Dear god, she has everything. Well, man boobs aren't that bad.
They're the hairy kind.
WHAT?!?!?!? God.....help......us.....all.

 

by Speez
2-11-02
Everyone at the UBCS hates Ariel sig, but no one has the balls to tell her and face the wrath of a pissed off women. So, CP decided to send the Board mod everyone hates.
Ummm, Ariel?
Speez, you messed me up. I'm in the process of making my sig bigger.
My god! How can it get bigger? It has it's own zip code and two different area codes.
Hmmm, I could add a Mexican. My sig doesn't have one of those yet.
Did she just say a Mexican? Well, a Mexican would go nice by the man boobs.
Hey, the mexican would go nice with the man boobs.

 

by Speez
2-13-02
Speez gets the balls to stop Ariel
Ariel, your sig is too big. Make it small, or....ummm, I don't know what would happen. Probably nothin.
You want to take away my beatiful sig?
It's so perfect. I don't see any problems with it.
Ariel, if that thing fell over, the tip would crush people in Canada.
Actually, the tip would land in Japan.

 

by Speez
2-14-02
MY GOD, YOUR SIG IS FALLING OVER!
NO, MY SIG! NO!
Meanwhile, elsewhere at the UBCS.
Hey, does that look like a giant sig falling?
Umm, I think I should move out of the way now.
Did I just hear a little girl screaming followed by a splat sound?
Yeah, Denza never had a chance.

 

by Speez
2-15-02
Ariel, your on trail for three charges. One is making a big sig. The second is not making it smaller when we asked. The third is crushing a UBCS member.
I would like to drop the third charge.
Why is that? You almost killed a UBCS member.
CP, it was Denza it almost killed. Denza! You know, likes to put nails in his head.
Good point. Ok, your on trail for two charges.

 

by Speez
2-15-02
THAT'S IT, IF YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH MY SIG, I'M LEAVING!
Ok, bye.
What? How can you just let a fellow mod just leave? I thought my pointy boobs would get me my way.
Damn women, your sig is so that God said ,"let there be light" so he kicked your sig out of the way.
Man, I forgot everyone here is heartless bastards.
Your mom.

 

by Speez
2-15-02
It's said to see Ariel go, but she refused to take away a few pics. Here lost.
I'M GLAD TO SEE HER GO! I HATED HER SIG WITH A PASSION!
Wow, you really hated her sig, huh? But I have this feeling we forgot something.
I dunno what you think we're missing. We cleaned up the wreckage of the sig, and everyone is happy.
Else with Denza...
Umm, guys, you got the sig off me, but you left me here. You guys want to get me to a hospital? Or at least make the bleeding stop? Anyone? Hello?

 

by Speez
2-18-02
Hey Misty, do you still have that crush on Speez?
Eww, no! I have a new crush.
Really?
Yes, he's so great. He's such a man. He's so sweet and he can dance.
I have a feeling who you have a crush on going to throw us all into another wacky adventure.
I love his eyes, and his hair.

 

by Speez
2-19-02
I don't think I can trust you Denza with a secert of who I like.
Come on, I told no one about your crush on Speez.
Oh! Oh, Misty! Congrats on you and Speez's three and a half months.
!!!!!!!!!!!
You told Ian?????
Oh come on, Ian doesn't count as a person.

 

by Speez
2-19-02
Why should I tell you?
Let me say this...
I'll rock your world!!!!!!
Funny, that works in pronos.

 

by Speez
2-19-02
Come on! Tell me who you like!
No. Look at you types. You look like you were drawn by a drunk 4 year old.
Hey, at least I don't look like a hoe!
Tell me you just didn't say that! That's it, I will scratch your face off!
Back evil women, I have some nails and a hammer!
I'll stick those so far up your ~CENSOR~ that ~CENSOR~~CENSOR~CENSOR~ and ~CENSOR~!!!

 

by Speez
2-19-02
OK, IF YOU MUST KNOW! I have a crush on Ian!
!!!!
He's quiet, too quiet.
OH..........MY.........GOD!
Denza, you got quiet all of a sudden.
Too many jokes going though my head at one time! I can't pick one to say!

Showing page 3.

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