All comics by Speez

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by Speez
5-16-01
One day at the board
What is up guys?
CP, a curse was put on the board that if you spam you become a flying squirrel!
I know Speez, I did that to stop spammers
Which brings me to the subject of I like Cheese...
Elsewhere...
LOOK AT ME GO!!!!

 

by Speez
5-16-01
CP takes action
Alright, I can fix the curse, but no one else spam while I'm gone!
Gothca CP
Speez tries to warn everyone else
Wonder if he gonna look at prono again.
Better post this on the board! My message will be Don't Spam
About 15 seconds later...
That was quick Speez
MAN, THIS IS GREAT!!! WEEEE!!!!

 

by Speez
5-18-01
CP checks out the trouble
More and more of the UBoSC mods are being turned into squriels
Come on Ian and Ace, we'll stop the curse
To late, it has Ace! I wonder what they do when the curse gets them.
Meanwhile...
Got any 3s?
HA, GO FISH!

 

by Speez
5-18-01
At some castle far, far away.
HAHAHA, THE CURSE IS SUCKING THE LIFE FORCE OF ALL UBOSC MEMEBERS AND MAKING THEM SQUIRELS
Hey, who are you!
Umm, I Like Cheese, lowly peon
What do you want?
Where is the little squirels room?

 

by Speez
5-18-01
CP and Ian make the long journy to the monster who made the curse, FeetforEars
This is tough
Hey, why am I in black and white?
Hey, there it, the castle!
Finally. My feet hurt!
Please, never do that again.
What are you talking about?

 

by Speez
5-18-01
Inside his castle, FeetforEars carefully watches his securty systems.
Giddie up!
HAHA! I LOVE THAT KRAMMER!
Meanwhile
Man, this place smells like pee!
Yeah, this place...
Ian, we need to stick toghter, or we'll be in trouble
Hey look, something shinny!

 

by Speez
5-18-01
Ian meets up with FeetforEars
Hey, who are you!
Oh my god, you have feet coming out your ears!
Is he doing a happy dance???
WOO, FEET FOR EARS!
Please, stop that.
I feel Giddie!

 

by Speez
5-18-01
Last time, Ian was doing a happy dance because he likes people who have feet for ears.
I can't take this dancing no more!m
Oh yeah, Feet for ears! Yeah, yeah!
SHABBA DOS!
Ahhh, I'm on fire!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I feel funky!

 

by Speez
5-18-01
CP meets up with Ian after FeetforEars turned him into a circus dog!
What is that!
Help CP, it's me! I feel really funky!
If I can get that thing to near the window maybe...
Help me please!
CP threw Ian out the window.
Dang it, it surived the fall.

 

by Speez
5-18-01
Suddenly, FeetforEars used a spell on CP when he wasn't looking.
A MANA ELBEO HIPPIE!!!
ARRGGH, MY NIPPLES ARE BEAMING!
HA, I WIN.
WHAT AM I! Can you do one thing for me! Post something on my board...
I don't know why he wanted me to write a topic called, "aldhahdaoh" so bad on his board.

 

by Speez
5-18-01
Since last time...
You tricked me!
Alright, if you turned all of us back at my board, ummm, we'll be even
Meanwhile, in the sky...
Take that ACE, Speez is about to win at Go Fish!
No, anyone who loses to you is a very big loser.
NO!!!!!
This is gonna be a big fall...

 

by Speez
5-18-01
Back at home base
Man, everything is back to normal
Almost. 2 things.
I Like Cheese is still a flying squirel who hooked on playing Go Fish
HAHAHAHA, I WIN AGAIN!
DARN IT!
And we can't find Ian.
Where am I! Who am I! I don't remember who I am!
MOMMY, THE DOG IS SCARYING ME!

 

by Speez
10-30-01
One day at the board
Man, look at the price of CSC gold now! It jumped up from no where!
But how can it jump so high, so fast?
Elsewhere on the board
Ok, I have 500 Pineapple pizza, and I want my money.
Bill the UBCS.

 

by Speez
10-30-01
CP tires to find answers...
Speez, do you know why the price for the UBCS has skyrocketed?
No idea CP. Maybe Ace knows.
Sucker
Hey Speez, when are our custom sports cars coming in?
Soon DJ. Soon

 

by Speez
10-30-01
CP calls a Mod meeting. But only GoldenDragonite showed up.
Guys, I'm closing down UBCS so the price will lower. I will find a temp board.
NO!
Umm, where is everyone else?
Umm, I dunno.
Elsewhere on the board DJ and Denza are talking about something.J
Be quiet guys. CP can't know we are hosting the emmies.
And the winner is me! Because i paid of the Emmies to pick me. Of course, the bill went to UBCS

 

by Speez
10-30-01
As CP sits on his throne. ;)
Ok, this is the temp board. Any thoughts Ace?
It smells like pee.
Speez, not to far away, over hears Ace comment.
Wait a second. It's not the place that smells like pee.
A missing (but not missed) friend returns!
That can only mean one thing!
Look who finally found his way home! Go me! Go me!

 

by Speez
10-30-01
CP meets Ian since the whole spamming curse thing.
So, Ian....
I finally made my way back!
...you surived the fall...
Gotta do.....THE HAPPY DANCE!!!
CP meets Ian since the whole spamming curse thing.
...weren't you a dog when I threw you out the window?
Let's just say this. It seems a certain operation doggies get turned me back...

 

by Speez
10-30-01
Speez and Denza decide to go back to the orignal UBCS, even though CP forbidded it.
Are you sure we should do this?
Yes, trust me. Now, hammer down the door.
Ow, I missed.
Why did I choose him to help me break into the orignal UBCS?

 

by Speez
10-30-01
Back at the Temp Board
Ok, to get people to give money, GD will do peep rally.
Alright team!
Give money!
I can see under her skirt!
Ian, did your pants just suddenly get really small?
Only when I look at CP.

 

by Speez
10-31-01
Back at the orignal board...
Speez, why are we coming back to the orignal UBCS? Won't it increase the price?
You see, I have an idea Denza.
It's very simple......I mean.....You see....It's like this....
WHY ARE YOU HAMMERING THE NAIL FUTHER IN!!!!!

 

by Speez
10-31-01
Speez goes to EZboards office.
Time to see if my plan will work.
So, you how much money are you donating?
75 dollars!
And how will you be paying for this.
Bill the UBCS.
Thanks for donating.

 

by Speez
10-31-01
Thanks to Great Speez, everyone back at the orignal UBCS.
Yes, we are all back. Your money help me buy a Xbox, I mean the money help us get CSC gold.
Suddenly, a squirel walks in.
Well, there's something you don't see every day.
What do you want little guy?
You got any three's?

 

by Speez
10-31-01
Old friends.
Is that you I Like Cheese?
Yes, and do you have any threes?
I thought everyone affected by the curse was turned back? Why are you still a squirrel addicted to playing "Go Fish"?
I guess that shows how much I used to spam in the old days? So, do you have any threes?
Good to have you back!
Do you have any god damn #@!%ing threes or am I going to have to walk over there rip off your arms and beat you to death with them!?!?!?!?!?!

 

by Speez
10-31-01
I Like Cheese meets Ian since coming back.
Hey Ian, good to see you!
OH MY GOD, IT TALKS!
Oh my god
IT TALKING. THIS REQUIRES THE HAPPY DANCE!
Now I remember why I never talked to Ian before. That and he smells.
GOT TO DO....THE HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Speez
10-31-01
Ace meets ILC
So how does it feel to be a squirrel?
It's ok, but my nuts are so small.
I didn't need to know that.
Really, they're small. Just go look at my collection at my house.

 

by Speez
10-31-01
ILC meets The Great Speez
I challenge you to a game of "Go Fish"!
Bring it women!
They battle deep into the nights.
I don't know what you mean, I don't have any threes.
Where I come from, you lie in "Go Fish" you get shot.
But in the end, there can only be one winner.
Come on, that was luck. One more game.
It was luck for the last 4523 games I won.

 

by Speez
10-31-01
I Like Cheese meets Denza
So, your this Denza guy I've been hearing about.
Yes, me Denza.
Any reason you have a nail stuck in your head?
I can't get it out.

 

by Speez
10-31-01
ILC meets GD
Hi, I'm ILC. I used to be a kid intill a curse was put on UBCS to turn all spammers into "Go Fish" loving flying squirrels. Most of the people were turned back, but I guess I spammed to much.
Hi I'm GD
GD does her "Nice to meet you" dance.
Panties alert! Panties Alert!
It's nice...
I will remember that forever.
...to meet you!

 

by Speez
10-31-01
ILC meets DJ
Hey, I remember you DJ. You just joined the board right when I left!
Hey it's a talking squirrel. Whoa!
I'm ILC.
I know, I was just kidding.
So, you want to smoke a blunt or something?
Ok, why does everyone think I'm a hippie?

 

by Speez
10-31-01
ILC meeets Ladymage777
HOLY COW!
Hi, I'm Ladymage777.
It looks like she wrestled a weed wacker.
As you can see, I have a perfect smile.
Yeah, you get my vote for winner of the smile with the least teeth.
You haven't seen fear intill you hog tie a pig.

 

by Speez
10-31-01
ILC meets Lap
So, your this ILC I've been hearing about.
Umm, why is your tonuge hanging out of your mouth?
You see, I have this thing and squirrels
This doesn't look good for our hero, ILC
Lap grabbed ILC and stuffed him in the bag
You see, I like to collect squirrels.

 

by Speez
11-01-01
ILC is trapped inside Lap's bag.
MY GOD! What vile place is this? What beings will I find in here?
Holy crap, who are you?
I'm AotD. Fan Fic mod.
I though Speez was the fan fic mod?
Damn, I can never step out of his shadow.

 

by Speez
11-01-01
Back in the bag.
So, there is no way out of this bag?
I've been trapped here for month, searching for an exit. I can assure you, there is none.
What is that over there?
Where?
Too me, it looks like a door.
Ok, I lied. The whole time I was hear I just read nudity mags.

 

by Speez
11-01-01
Aotd sees the UBCS after many months in Lap's bag.
So, how does it feel to be free?
Well, I feel...
...like singing!
Now I see why they canceled the search party to find AotD so many months ago.
SOMETIMES IT'S BLACK, SOME TIME IT'S WHITE! SOMETIMES SHE'S WRONG SOMETIMES I'M RIGHT!

 

by Speez
11-01-01
AotD has doubts about coming back to the board.
I dunno ILC, it doesn't seem right.
At least he stopped singing.
I'm going back into the bag. It has my trusty porn.
You haven't seen Speez since you got back have you?
Meanwhile, in Speez's room.
Oh yes, I like to do that for you Captain_Pringle. Please pay another $56 for me to uncross my legs.
Yes, signing up as CP, and billing the UBCS. Oh yeah, I'm good.

 

by Speez
11-01-01
Two people who wanted to be in the comic, but I couldn't find a way to fit them in the story.
So Ariel BurkenSally, how was your day?
Well, JonNJapan, I found out that my eyes don't face the same direction.
Wow, interesting. I have a cowboy hat on.
I have pointy boobs.
This is what happens when the creator has no good ideas.
Marco!
Hehehe, Polo!

 

by Speez
11-01-01
Ace has an important announcement.
Guys, there is some project I have to do for school. I'm going to have to leave till January.
Ace, we will all miss you. Right guys?
All i care about CP is that you let me sit on your throne.
Ace is leaving? Oh the pain, oh the pain.
Should I get the keg now or later of the party?
Too late JNJ, I beat you too it.

 

by Speez
11-01-01
Speez has already had GD down 8 beers...
Here GD, have another beer.
Woo! Another drink.
What are you doing Speez?
You know how much GD showsher underwear when she's sober? How bout when she's drunk?
Speez has already had GD down 8 beers...
Here GD, it's called the Super Beer. It has ten times the alchool.
Yeah! Cool beans!

 

by Speez
11-02-01
This takes place after GD downed the Super beer.
Almost...there...try harder!
?
What's up with GD.
I gave her the rare and very illegal Super Beer. I think she's trying to push the wall over or something.
Must....push......harder.
At least it's not me.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Ace comes back to find that everyone threw a "Ace is leaving for awhile" party the second he left.
Hey guys, I'm back for a second. I forgot my toothbrush and...
WOO! I'M LIKING THIS ACE IS LEAVING FOR AWHILE PARTY! WOO!!!!
What the fu...
Umm, Ace your back early.
Why?
Obvious reasons.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Ace, after getting mad at everyone for throwing a bye Ace party for the wrong reason, takes his angry out of Ian.
Your little punk! You think your better than all of us. Your not even in color!
Well, well, same to you to!
Not only do you insult like a girl, you talk, act like one. You even sit down on the toliet when you pee.
Oh my god, I just discovered we don't have feet! We're floating upper halfs of bodies.
That's it! I'll beat you in your own kind of fight! I challenge you to a Girl Slap fight!
Oh goodie, I haven't had one of these since Great Speez retired from the sport.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Welcome ladies and getleman to tonight's fight. I'm your announcer, Good Afterdark. Tonight, there's an epic fight for you all!
In this corner we have the heavy favorite to win. He has big eyes and never blinks. Welcome the Lanturn mater, Ace!
You,your going down Ian like your mom!
And over here is the guy who is predicted to be killed by Ace nine different times before he hits the ground. He smells like pee, Ian!
At least I can wear this nice suit to my funeral.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Ok, the match will start after I ring the bell.
Hey, where it go? It was hear a second ago.
Wait, Ace is being a good sport and rang the bell for me. And I would also like to thank Ian for letting Ace use his head to bang it off of.
This is too easy.
No problem Mr. Afterdark. But can you tell the room to stop spinning. I want to get off now.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Round 2
Wait, it looks like Ian is trying to bring Ace out of "the Slapping Zone" by telling him a joke!
There were these two cows. Cow 1 turned to cow 2 and said "moo." Cow 2 said, "I was about to say that."
Dumb fuck
Man, Ace just slapped Ian so hard, it made "zap" sound. Ok, I've level with you people, there is no choice for a slap noise, but at least this rhymes.
I feel unwanted now.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Round 3
Wait, Ian is moving after that last smack. The match is over.
Ian looks like he's doing something. MY GOD, HE'S STRATCHING HIMSELF! Ace is screaming for someone to rip his eyes out with a fork so he doesn't have to see this horrible sight.
Folks, this is a sad day in Girl Slap Fighting.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Round 4
Ace figures out if he doesn't look at Ian's crotch, the move doesn't effect him. Ace with a slap that would makes Ian's Grandmother hurt.
Ian is crying like a little boy being beaten by his daddy. Ace with a few quick right slaps, and a big left.
Man, I hate announcing Girl Slap Fighting matches.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Round 5
Ace is on top of Ian slapping him, which is giving Ian some kind of weird pleasure.
Wait, Ian just hit Ace with a shot to the family jewels.
Wait, it wasn't a shot, Ian seems to be "feeling" Ace up.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Round 6. Ace is almost there.
My goodness, look at the rage in Ace's face!
Ace's now with an hand full of Ian's, umm, stuff. But it seems to make Ian stronger. Ace with a huge left slap across Ian face sends Ian down to the ground. Ace mounts Ian again.
I feel like I'm the announcer of a bad prono.

 

by Speez
11-02-01
Round7- It's over!
My god! Ian has passed out.
Folks, he didn't pass out to pain, he passed out because Ian had too much pleasure because Ace was ontop of him smacking him. Now with some questions with the winner.
How do you feel after the way you beat Ian.
Kill me now.

 

by Speez
11-03-01
A great battle has begun behind this door.
Ugh, almost there. Come on!
Man vs. nature at it's peaks.
Come on. Man, I don't want to get the pliers this time. I got to push myself to the limits.
A small battle is won.
Ah, there we go. This is just a small victory in the war ahead.
Come on Speez. I have to use the bathroom.

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