All comics by TheBlairZip

Profile

 

by TheBlairZip
2-18-02
During the party...
Barb, that chick is so cool! Thanks for introducing us.
Yeah...too bad she has a long-term boyfriend.
10 minutes later...
Zip?
When did my life turn into a bad Ally McBeal episode?
...anger rising....blood pressure boiling....
Why are you looking at me like that?

 

by TheBlairZip
2-18-02
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEAIE AAAIIIEEEE....
What the fuck was he talking about?

 

by TheBlairZip
2-18-02
I can't believe how much I suck.
Oh, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Huh huh...you said "Hard on".
You do suck.
Yeah...

 

by TheBlairZip
2-22-02
You know, Ben Franklin was right...the only certains are death and taxes.
I can never figure out how to read these damn forms!
Hmmm...I could leave the country! I'd never have to worry about taxes again!
But then I'd miss my friends and family. What to do?
DEATH IT IS!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
2-22-02
Yes. Yes, I am.

 

by TheBlairZip
2-26-02
Sorry...

 

by TheBlairZip
2-26-02
Good evening. I have now moved up the ranks to become an offical member of the Tobor Fan Club.
Why hello there, Tobor. I was just telling everyone that I'm now in your fan club.
AND I TELL YOU...PREPARE FOR CORNHOLING!
I want my money back.
SITE IS FREE...AND SO IS CORNHOLING! BEND OVER, MANBITCH!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
2-26-02
Alright, Brett...where is it? Marsellus wants it back!
Oh, that? We gave it back to him yesterday. Want this burger? I'm stuffed.
Umm....no.

 

by TheBlairZip
2-26-02
Well, I guess we'll be going then...
Alright. See ya later.
What the hell are we supposed to do now?
I don't fucking know! Let's get the fuck outta here! COME ON, MARVIN!
Hey, how did he know my name? I didn't rat you guys out, I swear...ha ha ha....

 

by TheBlairZip
2-26-02
*BANG*
Well, that was fucked up. What did you think, Marvin?
Holyfuckingshit! That was Marsellus' son!
...........oops!

 

by TheBlairZip
2-26-02
Sorry about that, Marsellus.
NOOO! Not my son! Oh well, I now see the error of my criminal lifestyle. I'm leaving the life for good.
It just occured to me....you DO look like a bitch.
I get that a lot.
Come, Mia. Were moving to Jamaica.
I SAID GODDAMN!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
3-01-02
Later...
Mr. Costner, do you know, or have you ever met, the defendant?
Of course not. I've never seen this person before in my life.
Laterer...
Good enough for me! Not guilty! The defense rests, your gracious honor!
You're not a lawyer! She's Kevin Costner's wife! Release the hounds, judge!
Meanwhile...
But, Kevin! What about that lovely holiday in Sweden? Don't you remember?
You're right. I can't hide it. I AM GUILTY...OF LOVING YOU!

 

by TheBlairZip
3-04-02
Raindrops keep falling on my head,
but that doesn't mean my eyes will
soon be turning red, cryin's not for me
They hate it when I play this. Of course, what did they expect?

 

by TheBlairZip
3-08-02
Well, that was a nice change.

 

by TheBlairZip
3-11-02
Whew! What a day. Time for a drink and a smoke.
Mr. Stinky Butt; b. 9:35pm, d. 9:40pm
And, now for a good night's sleep.

 

by TheBlairZip
3-13-02
...nnnnngghhh....
Holy Versace! Is that an odiferous emanation I detect?
Jumpin' Jehosaphat! I think I blew out my ass!
Sweet Sassy Molassy! Someone crack a window!
For the love of....
JESUS TAP DANCIN' CHRIST ON A STICK! WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE???

 

by TheBlairZip
3-13-02
Act 1
Go Greased Lightning!
Tell me more, tell me more!
Act 2
Stranded all alone at the Drive-In...
Worst production of 'Grease' ever!
WHA? *yawn* How long have I been here?

 

by TheBlairZip
3-14-02
So once Tobor finished, he.... Say, is that a UFO up in the sky?
It would certainly appear so.
I'll be damned...they DO exist.
HOLY FUCKSHIT!!!!!! CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!!!
Simultaneously...
Do you think these 'humans' will be friendly?
I don't know. They sound pretty fucked up. For instance, they've got this band called 'Yes'...

 

by TheBlairZip
3-15-02
What they say:
I am down with that new Jay-Z CD! A good friend of mine - he's black - got me hooked!
What they really mean:
Look 'bro', your people aren't ever going to have it as good as we do. If you think working hard and tyring to fit in is going to get you a seat on the board of directors,
especially when we've already got our token black person working the front desk - well, if it's advancement and equality you seek, try Sweden!
What it all comes down to:
Let me guess, there aren't any positions available at thie time, right?
Fuckin' A!

 

by TheBlairZip
3-22-02
Whew! That's quite a hike. Anyways, I wanted to ask you...
No.

 

by TheBlairZip
3-22-02
What the fuck am I doing here?

 

by TheBlairZip
3-22-02
Trying to sniff the Crazy Glue again, huh?
...mmm hmm...

 

by TheBlairZip
3-23-02
Would you please stop and listen to me? I don't see why you feel it necessary to conitnue this stupid quest. If you truly loved me...
Then I wouldn't have to do this! *CHING*SLASH* Now, where was I? Oh yeah...
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

 

by TheBlairZip
3-23-02
I finally did it! I'm the last one!
OH NO!

 

by TheBlairZip
3-23-02
"I killed them all, now I am The One! But without any ozone, we'll be killed by the Suuuuuunnn!"
*SKIZIMFLIZIFRRRRRRRAAAAAPPP*
"What a jip, it's a rip in the space-time continuum!"
"Welcome, traveler from parts unknown! You look weary, you need rest. I garauntee the Immortals here will put you to the test!"
SHIT!

 

by TheBlairZip
3-23-02
Would you please stop and listen to me? I don't see why you feel it necessary to conitnue this stupid quest. If you truly loved me...
...then I wouldn't have to do this! *CHING*SLASH* Now, where was I? Oh yeah...
THERE CAN BE...Only.......?
...well, this is fucked.

 

by TheBlairZip
3-23-02
So, now I'm a member of the Tobor Fan Club, huh?
I don't think so. I just don't find the term 'cornhole' or anything it implies as funny.
Sorry, man, but that's the way I see it.
MY LIFE IS A LIE...

 

by TheBlairZip
3-23-02
You appear to have run out of dialogue. What would you like to do?

 

by TheBlairZip
3-25-02
Hey, y'all! Watch this...
Rube McCoy - born 1932, died 2002 - Attempted to balance a shotgun on his head.

 

by TheBlairZip
3-26-02
We've replaced Stone Cold's "Steveweiser" with a non-alcoholic beer. Let's see if he notices...

 

by TheBlairZip
3-27-02
Feast on this, suckas!!!
EEAAAARRGGHH!!!
BLING BLING!!!
EEAAAARRGGHH!!!
...bit of a one trick pony, don't you think?

 

by TheBlairZip
3-28-02
*************************************************
**WELCOME TO CARPET EMPORIUM**
Excuse me, sir...do you sell carpet here?
*************************************************

 

by TheBlairZip
3-28-02
Man, this is one of the greatest war movies I've ever....
...what the fuck was that?

 

by TheBlairZip
4-02-02
In a world plagued with problems, you thought that everything might actually be getting back to normal...
Ahh, what a lovely day. Thank God it's finally safe to visit N.Y. City again! Hey, is that a U.F......
Oh, what a dumbass you were!
OOOOOHHHHH!!!
This summer...expect mediocrity! DEPENDENCE DAY!!! (Rated G)
We really ripped them a new one, eh boss?
I have to go kill myself now...

 

by TheBlairZip
4-03-02
DAMMIT!
What's wrong?
I was trying to nail this painting of "The Seamen and the Mermaids" up on the wall there, but I done gone and tripped over that there stuffed beaver you bought down at the flea market!
Oh, well I.....

 

by TheBlairZip
4-05-02
Seven Hours Later...
This has never happened before, I swear! STUPID STUPID STUPID.....
Look, I gots to get back. My paw's probably wondering where I am. Ummm...mister?
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!
Wait, don't move! That nail is the perfect spot to hang this here painting of "The Seamen and the Mermaids Lube Up The Legendary Ball of Gaiety"!
That's the most pathetic attempt at being rules-compliant I've ever heard.

 

by TheBlairZip
4-10-02
Eureka! My hard work has finally paid off! With my invention, the LUBERATOR, I will revolutionize the industry!
Krow ti soed woh?
Well, it takes ordinary xenon and compresses.... ...did you just speak backwards?
...ebyam...
Xavier, have you stopped taking your Xanax again?
Degrahc sa ytliug!

 

by TheBlairZip
4-12-02
...and Lord, please give me the strength to...
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Woah, Jesus! What the hell was that all about?
Dude, he was totally checking out my crotch!

 

by TheBlairZip
4-24-02
Is this REALLY necessary? I have a very important meeting in a few minutes.
Yes! Now, did the insurance you received from your partner's death help you purchase this enormous mansion you live in?
Naw, I gained most of my wealth from the study and development of self-producing gravitons.
What the hell are gravitons?
Long story.
Wait a minute...is that code talk? Were you two 'having' each other in a non-brotherly kind of way?

 

by TheBlairZip
4-26-02
Can I put my pants back on now?
Just a little longer, my son.

 

by TheBlairZip
5-07-02
Hey, Stan, how's it...
MY PAW USED TO TAKE ME OUT BEHIND THE SHED AND WHIP ME WITH A SWITCH FROM THE OAK TREE!!!
Okay, see ya later.

 

by TheBlairZip
5-31-02
Hmm. All the funny comics have an empty middle panel, because NOTHING says comedic genius like a blank space.
HOW'S ABOUT YOU LICK MY SCROTUM, BITCH!?!?

 

by TheBlairZip
5-31-02
Hi, my name is Gia.
I work at K-mart.
...at least, I used to. After swindling millions from them and driving them to bankruptcy, I figured it was time to quit. MUAH HA HA!
It wuz YOU what put me out of a job and ruined the lives of my 12 illigit'mate childurn? Prepare for an ass-woopin'!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-07-02
Bazilla...
Kajun...
I LOVE YOU!
MARRY ME!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-07-02
Well, that was fun.

 

by TheBlairZip
6-12-02
I'm so tired. *yawn* I stayed up late last night because I was working on the...
I POOPED IN YUR LAWN AND SET THE DAWG ON FIRE!!
Who hired this guy?
BLRBEEBLURBBB

 

by TheBlairZip
6-12-02
So....how are things?
I take it you...
PIMENTO CHEESE!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-12-02
Now do you understand why I didn't want to see this fucking movie???

 

by TheBlairZip
6-13-02
Who hired that new guy?
One of the managers. Why?
Well....he just seems kinda...strange.
I'll go talk to him.
Hi. How are you? My name is...
OH GOD, THE BURNING IN MY LOIN REGION!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-13-02
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!!!!
Excuse me, could you keep it down, please?
I'M HOT...STICKY SWEET!
Jack, could you come here for a moment?
FROM MY HEAD TO MY......uh oh...
heh heh heh

Showing page 3.

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