All comics by Zegota

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by Zegota
9-18-03
OI BAMBINOS! PLEASANTOS MASTURBATICOS! TODJORNO ES A NEW FRIENDOS.
OLA BAMBINOS, MAGICKOS MUSHROOMOS, ME NAME ES POOPOO
BON DJORNO POOPOO. POOPOO VAI LEARN OS A NEW WORDOS TUTTI DJORNO.
OI OI OI
FANSTASTICO SPERMALI POOPOO. QUELLE ES LA NEW WORDOS POR THIS DJORNO?
PORNO

 

by Zegota
10-05-03
Coochie coochie coo, what a cute little baby, adjudududududududu
Who you calling a baby mofo?
Wow, you can talk already?
Don't change the subject you mindnumbingly stupid peter puffer, did you or did you not call me a baby?
Well, yeah....
I'm gonna make you my bitch.

 

by Zegota
10-18-03
*click*
zzzzzzzzzzzz...
Hey, what were you doing sleeping in my room?
This is MY room. What are you doing here?
Oh really?
Yeah, really!

 

by Zegota
10-20-03
*click*
zzzzzzzzzzzz...
Hey, what were you doing sleeping in my room?
This is MY room. What are you doing in here?
Aw Fuck, I knew this was too good to be true, my wife would never give in to anal sex
Hey, my anus is bleeding!

 

by Zegota
10-23-03
Boy, how much crap do you think gets thrown in here on a daily basis?
Hard to say...
Is this Mars?

 

by Zegota
10-24-03
What'll I do today? More sleeping, eating and nothinging?
Shit! I'm late, gotta catch my bus, gotta get to work!!!
Life, is gooooood.

 

by Zegota
10-29-03
Hiya, Joe.
Howdy do, Ern.
Seen Ed around?
Not since sensitivity training.
I'm black, that means I'm hung like a horse, how 'bout you?
I'm... the ... we ... I'm pure blooded and ... and ... God loves me!

 

by Zegota
11-07-03
Tonight on CNN! Gary Coleman Saves The World!
shit
I can't reach the abort button.

 

by Zegota
5-18-04
Uh oh, plane's going down. Luckily, I have this parachute. Think I'll step out.
Oh no, it didn't open. I'm doomed! Wait, what's that below me? I'm saved!
Not THIS plane again!

 

by Zegota
5-18-04
Uh oh, plane's going down. Luckily, I have this parachute. Think I'll step out.
Oh no, it didn't open. I'm doomed! Wait, what's that below me? I'm saved!
It's true Phillip, we all float down here.
Uh-Oh

 

by Zegota
5-18-04
Uh oh, plane's going down. Luckily, I have this parachute. Think I'll step out.
Oh no, it didn't open. I'm doomed! Wait, what's that below me? I'm saved!
This place is great, who are you?
I'm Cat Astrophe

 

by Zegota
5-19-04
For an apitizer I'd like some Croustades, then as first course some mushrooms in snail butter.
As a main course I want Brochette Dijon Flambé, and go heavy on the Drambuie. Finally, for desert, I'd like Gataux aux amandes.
Yes sir, one Big Mac coming up.
Can you make that to go please.

 

by Zegota
5-20-04
... Fi Dollah
Fuck this, I'm taking my changes. Here's your five bucks missy.
Good, I get big knife.

 

by Zegota
5-20-04
CNN
... as the president dropped 'em ...
National Geographic
... so I put my hand all the way up that hole and ...
Cartoon Network
... pulled really hard to finally liberate me from that dark and lonely place.
That's an amazing story Tinkerbell.

 

by Zegota
5-25-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.

 

by Zegota
5-27-04
There, that's enough work for today.
I'm halfway through the letter D now
Yup, today I've put the dick in dictionary.

 

by Zegota
5-29-04
I'll take it.
Great! All you have to do now is sign this contract that transfers all your belongings to us if you were to die and then take the Blue pill, it'll make all you pain and worries disappear.
Done, gimme the pill.
Here ya go.
ACK!
I love putting the con in contract.

 

by Zegota
6-28-04
My Dick's been getting alot bigger lately.
Ain't ya boy?
You bet dad, soon I'll be the biggest kid in class.

 

by Zegota
6-28-04
So anyway, I ended up buying the damn thing after all.
Batteries not included it said.
Like anyone would wanna buy something that kicked the shit out of 'em.

 

by Zegota
6-28-04
Look, there, that fungus. Walk very carefull as we go round it.
So we don't trample it?
No no no, It might hear us and then we're in for it.
A fungus that can hear us?
OH GOD, I think it's too late. It's preparing to make it's deathleap and slice our throats. It'll lay it's eggs in our carcasses and the flies will swarm from our empty skulls and eradicate mankind.

 

by Zegota
6-29-04
Hey, my sweater's got a loose thread. I'll guess I'll just burn it off with my lighter
Well...that could've gone better

 

by Zegota
6-29-04
Look over there, such a beautifull creature, wait here as I try to lure with it's mating call.
Mating call?
KATAPLOINK KATAPLOINK
They don't make any sound like that.
CREAPYCREAP CREAPYCREAP GAGAZOO GAGAZOO
Cows just go 'Moo'

 

by Zegota
7-01-04
Where's this scary monster supposed to be?
We're right here.
The invisible man?
No, just germs.

 

by Zegota
7-03-04
HA HA! Lookit the horse face on that ugly fucking old skanky fag-hag!
*GASP* NOBODY talks to Zelda, Queen of the Gypsies like that! NOBODY!
Boy, are you in for it! She'll probably put a curse on you or something!
Ahh, BALONEY! What could possibly happen?
Hey! My clothes!
HAHAHA, stupid gypsy. Her curse is affecting you instead of me!

 

by Zegota
7-05-04
Later that night...
*thwap thwap thwap thwap thwap*

 

by Zegota
7-25-04
Hey God, why the sad face?
I got stomach cramps.
Cramps?
Yeah, you keep an eye on Adam and Eve for a sec? I gotta go lay a big one.
...and that is how America came to be.

 

by Zegota
8-04-04
Please God, send me a sign to prove you exist.
Haha, good luck
Thank you Lord, I shall dedicate my life to the wondrous joy of religion and abstinence.
Hey! What the fuck kinda deal is this? Change me back you no good piece of shit clouddancer!

 

by Zegota
9-03-04
There's two types of people in the world. Belgians and everyone else.
Belgians are physically and intellectually supreme to all others. They're also sex Gods.
If you study long and hard kids, one day you might become a Belgian aswell.

 

by Zegota
9-04-04
Sucky Sucky ten dollah
No, is fi dollah no?
Sut up you stupid beach. This kids no know yet, we can make big bucks hee
Sucky Sucky fithy dollah!

 

by Zegota
9-12-04
Well, Cletus, this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
Yer absolutely right...
But before we fight, there's something I wants to tell you...
You've got something between yer teeth.

 

by Zegota
9-15-04
I will fuck your mom. In her tight wet little hole. She will scream my name.
Will you tear her up? Like you did your furrow skin. By wanking too much.
Never mention that. The skin doesn't seem to heal. Oh what should I do?
Just stop wanking off. Trust me you'll feel better soon. Please don't fuck my mom.
Don't start whining bitch. Why should I not fuck your mom? She just begs for it.
I won't call you dad. My mother is my sister. That is bad enough.

 

by Zegota
9-21-04
Hey you, interview me, I'm here to promote my new cd.
Wow people, to my great surprise I find amongst the crowd here at the start of the new Star Wars DVD sale a familiar non-Star Wars face.
Wars?
It's William Shatner, better know as the cunning Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek Series, well then captain Kirk, why don't you show us some of your wicked rhymes.
Sure, here goes. Yo Yo Yo, it's Dr. Shat, and you best beware of the Shat Attack cuz I'm coming in fast at warp speed, you best take heed, or call 911 and I'm far from done...
This isn't live is it? Please tell me we're not live.

 

by Zegota
9-24-04
Ladies and gentlemen! All votes have been counted and the result is final.
It is with pride that I announce to you the man who will lead this country in the next four years!
Mr. George W. Bush

 

by Zegota
10-11-04
Hello children, It's storytime with Cthulhu again. Now most of you now me as Cthulhu, the biggest evil of them all. What little of you now is that I'm also the grandfather of Zoidberg.
KILL ALL HUMANS!
.... oh, not this again. ZAP!
AAAAH!
Just cut to the commercials, and somebody get me a Slurm will ya!

 

by Zegota
10-15-04
Mom, dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, she means alot to me so be nice.
Sucky sucky, fi dollah

 

by Zegota
10-18-04
If you wanna walk the walk and talk the talk in my hood you best convice me you's a player bitch.
Oh I'm playing you allright.
What? What kinda crazy shit you talking to me boy? Don't you start no shit now. I'm gonna give you my credibility test befo I let yo white ass into my hood bitch.
I'm down with that, hell, I'm downtown with that.
Huh, you trying to fuck with my head boy, I can smell five-O from miles away and you starting to smell mighty suspicious mofo.
Don't worry, I'm 10-6 man, I'm dying to be a 10-50 just like you.

 

by Zegota
11-06-04
Wow man, the Trekkie convention is so bitching. But I do not get who you are supposed to be.
We are the Borgs, we wills assimilate you.
Borgs? Wills? Are you a degenerate Trekkie or something?
Lower yours defences and prepare to be boarded.
The oufit sucks too man, not remotelly close to the actual thing.
Shuts up.

 

by Zegota
11-10-04
Hello everybody.
I'm king of the Jews!

 

by Zegota
11-30-04
I want this guy dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the ground! I want to go there in the middle of the night and piss on his ashes!
Sir, Yes Sir.
I see dead people.
I'll be back.
It's alive. It's alive!
Oh man, I will never forgive yo ass for this. This is some fucked-up, repugnant shit.

 

by Zegota
12-01-04

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