All comics by akirajim

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by akirajim
10-16-02
Ow.
High in the sky / Planes fly by
Say what?
Up here in the hills / We shoots em for thrills
Preach it, brother.
Skooby dooby doo-bop ska!

 

by akirajim
10-16-02
I'm glad you're allowing me to join your hillbilly beatnik commune, Joe Cool.
You gets to be our new fireman. Dig?
I'm hip to that.
This is your first day as a fireman.
I'm so happy!
Did I mention the cats here have a tendency to fall asleep smoking and don't believe in water?

 

by akirajim
10-16-02
Hrm...
Hrm...
the state of society is
I farted in your mouth while you were sleeping.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Fire is good, but whoosh is better.
Whoosh is the wind that deposited you, my ashes, on the ground before me. Whoosh is like God in this domain.
I'm a head but give me head.
I have a cat. Can I give you that?
I will accept nothing but blood.
I'll call my cousin for stuff like that for he is made by Phillip-Morris. He is a jolly, juicy cancer stick!

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
I have lost, lost my ashes.
Your scarlet robes, your kingly sashes?
I have lost, lost my ashes.
Your mannish pride, infected rashes?
Clean the shit out of your ears, Helen Keller. I've lost my damn ashes!
They're like your blood, right?

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
He had not blood to give.
Then you will die!
I blame the wind.
Au revoir to fairweather friends.
Goodbye goodbye, this is the end.
Biscuit game adieu.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
You!
What?
What's the DEAL with you? Huh?! Answer me that, hotshot. That has got to be the worst Halloween costume I've ever seen.
Well, er, I WAS gonna go as Krishna, but the blue body paint washed off in this torrential downpour.
And you! I mean, what the fuck are you supposed to be?!

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Yeah, you'd better run away, crybaby. Your Snoopy costume SUCKS!
You're not a very nice man, are you?
Soar sot the berry rice fan, fartoo?
More rot but Jerry likes man! Tar Sue!
Boar butt, Dan - -
That's enough! Shut up or I'll cut your head off and stuff it down your pee hole!

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Okay, you've passed the test.
Huh?
Would you like to come with me to a magical place where you can have fun all day and all night seven nights a week for just one day a year?
Would I?!
ANTICLIMAX!
This party sucks.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Tonight's Britney Spears concert has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
Namely, Hurricane Octavius.
Hurricane Octavius sure is an asshole.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Dude, I've got an idea.
What?
Chicken butt!
You dirty slut!
But seriously, let's kick Hurricane Octavius' ass.
Hurricane Octavius is an asshole!

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Dude, we're gonna die!
No, man! You have to remember to think positive!
Okay.
Hurricane Octavius is an asshole!
I think we've established that already.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
This sure is shitty weather, eh dcomposed?
I'll say, akirajim! It's raining CATS AND DOGS!
AHAW HAWHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAW!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Let's go take a walk and get a sandwich, dcomposed.
In the RAIN?! Are you KEE-RAZY, akirajim?!
We can play the rhyming game that you love so much.
Chunky monkey octopus.
Funky skunky pox on wuss.
I can't think of anything else that rhymes with chunky.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
You lose, loser!
Hey, best pal, watch what you say...
Because words can hurt.
I learned that from the Muppet Babies.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
This blizzard is disappointing.
I feel sick. Or at least hypochondriac.
My lung itches.
Hey there, cutie. My name is Frosty.

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
I only visit these parts once a year to wish you and your friends Christmas cheer!
I think I'm going to kill you. Or me. I forget who. But first, I'll pee.
Don't watch!
But I'm curious!

 

by akirajim
10-17-02
Hmmm. What should I do now that I'm out of my holiday slump?
Write a poem.
Nah.
Write a poem.
And they stayed friends forever. Fin.
You talked me into it.
Yay! Poetry makes the heart sing!

 

by akirajim
10-18-02
Safety Tip #103: Never play hide and go seek in a burning building.

 

by akirajim
10-18-02
What's your favorite football team, Spankling?
I must say I do prefer the Cowboys.
The Cowboys suck!
I know.
I hope they lick, too.

 

by akirajim
10-19-02
Hello, little girl. I've got a sack of candy corn in my car...
Hey, don't run away!
I'll never find true love.

 

by akirajim
10-22-02
...and then I shoved his wife head first down the garbage disposal.
You sick son of a bitch!

 

by akirajim
10-26-02

 

by akirajim
10-26-02
What are you doing, Frederick?
I'm killing every darkie I see on campus to protest Apartheid.
It's totally cool you can stand up for what you believe in!
Those were the best days of our lives.
Which way to the dorms, man?
This comic is not endorsed by the NAACP.

 

by akirajim
10-26-02
Wassup, Officer Longdong?
There's been a murder on campus.
A murder?! Oh no!
Actually, several murders.
Those were the best days of our lives.
Actually, several mass murders.

 

by akirajim
10-26-02
Hey, Mr. Ay-rab, drugs are bad!
Hey, Mr. Murderer, don't even think to binge drink. There's a little pragmatic poem for you!
That's some good advice.
Okay, move along, Commie.
Please don't assrape me like the other officer did.

 

by akirajim
10-26-02
Excuse me.
No.

 

by akirajim
10-26-02
RIOT!
RIOT!
Kill Whitey!
*Whitey*
Okay, boys, get me the hose.

 

by akirajim
10-26-02

 

by akirajim
10-26-02
You bought a white slave, Gabe? That's cool.
So what should I reply?
"Yes, boinky, it's quite nice to have a slave, but he's pretty fucking ugly. And I think he's a homo gay."
You asshole!

 

by akirajim
10-28-02
Actually, that's very funny!

 

by akirajim
10-30-02
LICKING DICKS
T WIRTHLING MY DICK IS LIMP AGAIN !!! TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK
MBAUMBAUMBAUMGH
URK UUUUGGGHHHHH
Those fuckers are just asking to wake up with their own amputated dicks in their mouths.
MMM DICKS

 

by akirajim
10-30-02
I keep having the same dream. In this dream, I am opening a door.

 

by akirajim
10-30-02
I open the door and enter. Inside, there are two small Asian girls...
...a decadent robot, a doctor of science...
...and a toothless crack whore.
It's a living.

 

by akirajim
10-30-02
I ask them: "What is the meaning of existing?"
Five dolla.
Rapp.
"What is the meaning of existing?"
CORNHOLE.
Pedantism.
"What is the meaning of existing?" But none of them have the answer.
Copulation!
Yeah, that.

 

by akirajim
10-30-02
So I go elsewhere. I go to the end of the earth.
And in a grove...
I meet a funny little man.
bend over bitch caues its time FOR RAPPING YUO

 

by akirajim
10-30-02
"Why do I exist? What meaning is there?"
meening ?! hahahaah
Hm?
ther is no meening we exist for existens sake
Then why do we go on if there is no greater meaning? Why are we moral? Why do we build up societies, create art, birth children?
yuo fool !!!! y do yuo need justificashun for yuorself ??? is it not enuf just to live and be happey ???

 

by akirajim
10-30-02
I give up.
Good.
I cannot win.
I told you so.
I guess I'll never be a champion of the Sex Olympics.
Not many eunuchs are.

 

by akirajim
11-06-02
Hmmm...
Hmmmmmm...
Hurry up and move, you cock!

 

by akirajim
11-06-02
Trick or treat!
And what are you supposed to be?
I'm the Littlest Angel.
Which angel? Ramiel, Sachiel, Iruel...?
They have names?
What the fuck is wrong with you kids today that you don't even know the fucking Kaballah?! No candy for you!

 

by akirajim
11-06-02
Father, I require your assistance. I seem to have had an accident while utilizing the power saw.
You tomfool boy! This is why mere children should not toy with power tools!
Will you assist me? It feels as though my brain is drowning in blood.
I should think so.
I believe the blood is now welling up in my eye sockets.
And what if you had broken my power saw? How would I cut wood then, hm? Retire to your room and ponder what havocs you have wreaked!

 

by akirajim
11-06-02
Don't do it, Jon!
No! Your uncle is hiding in that snowman!
*JIZZZZZ*
Did something just crawl up my ass?

 

by akirajim
11-08-02
That's the ugliest fucking Halloween costume I've ever seen!

 

by akirajim
11-11-02
Congratulations on winning the Will Eisner Comic Industry Award for the fourth year in a row, weedleweedle!
Now we're gonna bring out a surprise guest who has a little something to say to you...
Weedleweedle, you're the love of my life. Can you ever forgive me for doubting you?
O ITS OKAY NOW LETS MAKE SWEET MAN LOVE IN MY VAN HONEYCHEEKS

 

by akirajim
11-11-02
Congratulations on winning the Will Eisner Comic Industry Award for the eighth year in a row, weedleweedle!
Now we're gonna bring out a surprise guest who has a little something to say to you ...
Weedleweedle, you're the love of my life. Can you ever forgive me for doubting you???
O ITS OKAY GERBIL DICK NOW LETS MAKE SWEET MAN LOVE IN MY VAN

 

by akirajim
11-11-02
Congratulations on your first time having sex, akirajim!
You're sure it was with a genuine human female?
I'm sure.
I mean, not with a dog like last time?

 

by akirajim
11-14-02
Brad's birthday...
Happy birthday, Brad. What are you going to do now?
We're going to Mexico!
In Mexico...
I'M SO DRUNK! GO DICE, GO!
Hey, guy, you want me and my friend should come up to your room and have squalid, unsafe sex with you and your friend?
The day after...
Goodbye, Mexico. We'll miss you.
I think those hookers were guys.

 

by akirajim
11-15-02
Say, ostrich, if it was the only way to save the life of every other person on the planet...
...would you agree to kill fifty of your closest friends or relatives with a screwdriver?
My brain hurts.

 

by akirajim
11-15-02
Did I ever tell you about the Great Beatnik Exodus of 1910?
No.

 

by akirajim
11-15-02
Safety Tip #104: Do not stop to masturbate during a race riot.
Oh God... Ras you sexy bitch!

Showing page 3.

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