All comics by allenhenderson

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by allenhenderson
6-16-02
Fire Wind
According to ancient lore the earth was created from four basic elements
Earth Telephones

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
Welp I have to get back to work.
Who knows when I will see you again. Maybe it will be another 6 months. Who also knows what kind of crazy adventures I might get myself into.
I bet we just go get sushi.

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
Allors c'est ca l'Enfer. Je n'aurais jamais cru...Vous vous rappelez: le soufre, le bucher, le gril...
Ah! quelle plaisanterie, Pas besoin de gril, l'Enfer c'est les Autres.
Ah, c'est vrai! Ca va? Ca va bien? Ca va?

 

by allenhenderson
6-18-02
So I came back.
Yay!
But only because I forgot my car keys.
Here they are.

 

by allenhenderson
6-18-02
I still haven't figured out who or what I symbolize for him.

 

by allenhenderson
6-18-02
BRING.... BRING.... BRING.... BRING.... BRING.... *click* 'Yo yo this is totally Allen here people leave a message at the beep bro'-BEEEEP!
Hi this message is for Theresa from the cleaning service: this is Allen...
I'm gonna be gone for a while so if you wouldn't mind please unplug the robot and disassemble him and put him in the closet or throw him away I don't care. Adios.
I hope she takes out either my emotion chip or my pain chip first.

 

by allenhenderson
6-18-02
I need to figure out how to erase this message on the machine before the cleaning lady comes and hears it and takes me apart.
I wish my power cord was a little bit longer.

 

by allenhenderson
6-21-02
First I want to thank you for interviewing with us. I want to let you know to just be yourself. This position is all about creativity; we don't expect the usual office worker.
Take me for instance. I like video games and the Simspons! Just feel free to open up.
The CIA programmed me to kill when I hear the ice cream truck jingle.

 

by allenhenderson
6-21-02
Hi I'm going to speak to you through metaphor!
Okey dokey!
I hate you and I wish you were dead.
You do know what metaphor means right?

 

by allenhenderson
6-21-02
Scoodly-wop bop ba bee bop
Wicky wicky wicky wicky won bop a ree bop
Bo-dilly-do bo a ree bo
Fa dee bop a roo bop
Bo-dee-oh dee oh dee oh
I can't wait to eat that singing chicken!

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Hey Allen nice voodoo mask.
Thanks.
Wish I had a mask like that.
But ya don't.
That mask has some kind of weird power over you. You didn't used to be selfish.
Oh you're just saying that because I just ran over an old lady in the crosswalk.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Yes yes, so anyway, while I look a lot like the guy that ran over your grandmother, I assure you it was a different guy in a different cursed mask that makes its bearer do evil.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Different guy.
Different ancient cursed voodoo mask that commands the one who wears it to do evil.
Case closed.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
So like I said it was just someone else all together that rammed the old lady in the crosswalk and pinned her against the other car.
So how fast were you going when you hit the old lady.
80 miles an hour easy.
So the mask makes you more evil but not necessarily more smart.
That is apparently the case.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Stupid mask.
Stupid South African witchdoctor.
All I wanted to do was get some background info for a "On Dangerous Ground 2" script but noooo.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Hey Allen wanna go shoot some pool?
You read my mind good buddy. Just let me run inside and check my messages real quick.
Actually I was thinking we could just leave now without all that nonsense.
Well not all over.
There are body parts of dead hookers all over the apartment again aren't there Micah?

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
So how about you stop blocking the doorway and let me in there and see what happened. There can't be that many bodies.
There's going to be one more if you don't shut your bitch-hole and forget about it.
Oh yeah.
Wanna get oysters before pool?

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Just let me in there. I don't care what you did just let me check my messages before we go.
Did I mention you're looking a lot like Brad Pitt today?
Ok, but that's the last time that line is getting you out of trouble.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Look, either I see the gore in there now or when we get home from shooting pool and I'm helping clean it up. Just let me in there for a second.
Ok ok fine.
Hey my transmogrifier came in the mail!
Dammit now we're never going to play pool tonight.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Check it out Micah! I totally transmogrified myself into a giant chicken!
Great! Let me try it now!
Okey dokey!
SLAM!

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Hey Micah if you're not going to transmogrify yourself into something open the door so I can change myself back.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Please open the door and let me get back in the transmogrifier.
It's only a matter of time before a dog starts getting ideas about my sweet chicken ass.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Sorry Allen, bad news about the transmogrifier. It's broken. You're going to have to stay a giant chicken forever.
Oh god dammit.
Ha ha just kidding you only have to stay a giant chicken until you die.
SLAM!

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
Hey the transmogrifier isn't broken you big fat liar.
Yeah yeah just change yourself back so we can go play pool.
Hey, I'm a big fat idiot.
Very funny.
No, I'm serious, I'm an idiot. I just broke the transmogrifier for real this time.
Whatever let's just go.

 

by allenhenderson
6-23-02
I can't go out looking like you I have to get the transmogrifier fixed first.
Jiggle the handle.
Ok that did it.
Ok all better!
Sweet.

 

by allenhenderson
6-26-02
Not only do I have to die in an airplane but I have to do it with a stupid beatnik making weird sounds.
Ba-dee-boop ba-dee-boop
Scoody doo boo BEE scoody doo boo MEE
Mom said this exact thing would happen one day.
Harten harten mo bo badada

 

by allenhenderson
6-26-02
Hey snowman are you sure the shortcut through this desert is a good idea?
I don't have time for stupid snot-nosed donkeys second guessing my decisions.
He is always like this I don't know why I agreed to come.
Why aren't you melting?
I'm made of plastic! Now shut up!

 

by allenhenderson
6-26-02
Dammit, him melting was my only chance of getting out of this stupid trip.
Jesus it's hotter than hell where are we going?
This is one of those epic journey things. We go into the deepest cave in the hottest desert and get riches sealed up in Hades.
SIGH
Sighing isn't going to get us across the river of eternal torment any faster.

 

by allenhenderson
6-26-02
Oh great, that ferry-keeper wants 80 pounds of fresh meat to let us across. We didn't bring 80 pounds of fresh meat.
Actually I did.
SIGH
Sighing isn't getting your carcass cleaned and eviscerated any faster.

 

by allenhenderson
6-27-02
Blah, I ate so much I'm going to rupture.
GAH, I ate so much my nose is bleeding.
Arg, I ate so much I'm gonna puke.
MAH, I ate so much I can't see out of my left eye.
Um, it sounds more like you're having a stroke.
You're just jealous.

 

by allenhenderson
6-27-02
Um, Phil, having a stroke is actually kind of serious. It doesn't have anything to do with over-eating.
Eating fatty and high-cholesterol foods can increase one's heart rate, increasing the likely hood of a blood-vessel rupture in the brain.
Or could simply increase the chance plaque is knocked off of arteries, and it floats on upstream again into the brain, causing a blockage and then a rupture.
Ok ok, so maybe it is from eating more than me.
Damn diggity.

 

by allenhenderson
6-27-02
Ok, so I admit you ate a lot more food than I did. How about we get you to a hospital to take care of that stroke?
Hospital shmospital.
See, and your speech is getting slurred.
Slurred shmurred.
Hey where'd you go?

 

by allenhenderson
6-27-02
Hey where did everything go? Where am I?
Maybe I could be of assistance.
What? Who said that?
It's me, your stroke!
Dude, you wouldn't believe how much I just ate.
Every second we spend here you lose one percent of your brain capacity.

 

by allenhenderson
7-01-02
Well, I must go now.
No don't go! There are so many things I want to ask you!
You do know that I am a stroke and it is causing permanent damage every moment you stay here right?
First: What does permanent mean?
I'd better get overtime for this.

 

by allenhenderson
7-01-02
Well, if you really are a stroke then prove it by using some of your powers.
Parlor tricks are normally beneath me.
GAAAH (drool)
Do it again.
Listen, I've got other places to go.

 

by allenhenderson
7-02-02
What's going on here?
You stayed here so long you had a second stroke.
Hiya.
Man, Walter would just freak out if he knew I was totally having two strokes right now.
There really isn't all that much more damage we can do here is there?

 

by allenhenderson
7-02-02
Ok, so you guys are the two strokes I'm having right now. Who is that behind you?
I'm totally abscessed brain matter dudes!! Killer!!

 

by allenhenderson
7-02-02
I've never been this popular in my life.
I am a stroke in the right hemisphere!
I am a microstroke in the motor cortex.
Wiggity wiggity wiggity! I'm totally an abscess in the angular gyrus!
I am the loss of the sense of self and others.
Ho ho ho.

 

by allenhenderson
7-02-02
Gah! Where am I?
You're in the hospital. You've been in a coma for the past 16 years.
What fantastic things must have come to pass in that time span!
Well for one, it is now customary to tip hospital orderlies.

 

by allenhenderson
7-02-02
Oh my god sixteen years have passed me by in the coma and now robots walk the earth!
Actually Phil we were friends before your stroke-induced coma. I was there when it happened.
All I have going for me is a renewed sense of amazement and wonder at life why are you trying to take that from me.
I'm sorry. Take me to your leader.

 

by allenhenderson
7-02-02
Sixteen years in a coma. I still can't get over it. You know that makes me 41 years old to this day.
All because you had to prove you could eat more than me.
Hey wanna see if I still got it?
Go over-eat again so you can have another stroke? Well, I guess that seems the only logical outcome of this cartoon.
GAH! *drool*
Happy birthday!

 

by allenhenderson
7-08-02
Oh my what a crudely drawn dinosaur.
One would think you were a caricature drawing playfully mocking my features produced by some sidewalk artist hack.
This coffee you made isn't exactly knocking my socks off either.
I can only be me.

 

by allenhenderson
7-13-02
Great some guy with the same name as me is making comics! It's not me dammit it's someone else!
Even though you've told me that I will always associate those comics with you. I kind of liked them anyway. Maybe I should start hanging out with this OTHER Dan Lucas.
Amnesia dust!
Yaaaa! It burns!
Hey that wasn't amnesia dust at all.
GAAAA! AGONY!!

 

by allenhenderson
7-13-02
Jeez Allen sorry about using zombie dust on you instead of amnesia dust.
BRAINS!
Muh....
I'd slay you and put your tormented soul to rest but I know deep down you'd want to go on like this.
Heee..

 

by allenhenderson
7-13-02
Thanks a lot Zombie Allen, I come to visit you in your new lair and you bite me. Now I'm going to become a wraith.
Gaaa...
*SIGH*
Hee...
Zombie sex had better be what you've talked it up to be.
BRAINS!

 

by allenhenderson
7-13-02
Allen!? Dan Lucas!? You're undead! What the hell! I thought we were going for some midnight laser tag in the old abandoned warehouse.
BRAINS!
Allen thinks Rick brains will be the tastiest brains of all, Rick.
Actually, um, in high school my superlative was "Most likely to have the least tastiest brains."
GAH!
Rick just let Allen eat your brains and get it over with.

 

by allenhenderson
7-13-02
Great, zombie Allen ate my brains and now I have to forever roam the earth as an undead Rick lich.
Rarrrarr..
NO I will absolutely NOT send you the original Japanese Final Fantasy II rom translated into English now, you brain-eating zombie bastard.
RAA!
Wow, cool! Does it have any new plot lines?

 

by allenhenderson
7-13-02
RrrrrRrrr...
Hi Matt. Dan Lucas is a wraith, Allen is a zombie and I'm a lich. We're here to slay you and force your haunted spirit to forever roam the night with us in constant torment.
Can you believe they are doing a Superman versus Batman movie?

 

by allenhenderson
7-13-02
If I could be any Final Fantasy II character? I'd have to go with Kain.
RAAAraarrrrarr..
Look, you can't BOTH be Kain. Allen why don't you be Golbez, you'd make a good bad guy.
When you said eternal torment I didn't think it would quite manifest itself like this.

Showing page 3.

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