All comics by blackknight

Profile

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
doc....i have a testigina...you know...and uh...
what'ya want old chap?
do i have a scrotum?
havent you checked?
no...last time i tried my penis and my vegina were....sorta on each other so i couldn't really tell
ouch....ouch....

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
Hello....
....
*runs super fast and saves person from getting hit by a car*
you saved me!
What am I? Say it out loud!
a.... a..... a mermaid

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
yah! i love college! (hey) and i love drinking
i love running the business of selling young women as sex slaves....alll right
dude.....nice
yah....college is cool too i guess

 

wow a testic- i mean tentacle
by blackknight, 4-10-09

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
Why hello hello hello
ummmmmmmm hi?
So soooo hows it going?
great
Yes it is great....
yupppppp

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
*chit chat rat tat*
*nibble nibble*
hey...hey hey hey hey wanna wanna suck my my nuts with me???
yes yes yes!
ok.
it is i! santa! ho ho hoe hoes hores!

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
Why Hello good sir would you be interested in some home made chocolates?
Awwwww hell no!
Well why not? i made them just like the recipe said it should be perfect.
How do i know you didn't poison them or something?
You don't.....
You bastard....

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
Hey you..
me?
Yeah you... You know whats at the bottom of bass lake?
Dirt?
Noooo! Basstards you dumbass.
........ Oh I get it....

 

all nite. its not just me in this bunny suit you know. ha...hahaha...
my el diablo is missing!
by blackknight, 4-10-09

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
Sooo you wrestle yourself up some broncos today partner?
Yeap! Hooked them right by the horns they went right down to the ground.
Well that sounds mighty nice... say how bout' you teech me how to do them moves of yours?
Well Gee I don't think I can.
Well why not?
With your lack of decent coordination, your horrible health insurance, and your lack of decencie in public.. I don't think the state would aprove.

 

by blackknight
4-10-09
Excuse me.. Mr. Abe sir, I would like to inform you about the recent things that have happened in your 200 year absence.
Well ok then shoot
Gladly, Hmmmmm oh yes, gay marriages in the U.S. ummm global warming, our dependence on fossil fuels has increased greatly..
Holy f**king shit!!! gay marriages in my country! Awwww Hell no! I am gonna kick whos ever ass is responsible for this!
But sir shouldn't you be more concerned about the deterioration of the ozone layer?
Screw the planet! Two circles do not work! Two rods do not work! rod and circle do work!!!! Down with gay marriage!

 

by blackknight
4-11-09
..... sooooo then after that i found the blowtorch then a butterfly flew by. i followed it and then i trippd over a rock. i looked under the rock and found a key
it opened a door... and thats how i met your mother
yupppppp......
there is no way in fucking hell i am gonna ask you how you met my mom again

 

by blackknight
4-11-09
Sooo Charlie you want to know where babies come from?
Yes sir, yes sir indeed
Well it starts when a mommy and daddy love each other very much.....
A few moments later....
... and that my friend is where i found my long lost penny.
wait wait wait why was it in her...

 

by blackknight
4-15-09
God looking down on His creation..
No John your doing it all wrong! stick your penis in her vagina not the other way around!
God looking down on His creation..
Come on you can do it! get in there john get in there! Oh my God you did it!
God looking down on His creation..
The miracle of sex its a beautiful thing... no John no! don't do her like that! GOD DAMMIT!

 

by blackknight
4-15-09
Jesus get over!!! hurry don't you wanna watch your Father destroy another village!
Dad I watched you destroy villages for the past 2000 fucking years! ok I don't need to see it agian!
Dammit Jesus get over here now! Or i will fry your ass!
I don't care!!! Just let me take my fucking bath!
So son what are we gonna do next time I destroy a village?
watch you destroy it....

 

by blackknight
4-15-09
Hey hows it going... you want some apple juice or something?
You wants some cheezy crackers?
Well ummm yeah I have to go now some ummmm.... enjoy your cheesy crackers.
... what the fuck is a cheezy cracker?

 

by blackknight
4-17-09
Sir I am going to have to stick this big point thing in your ass.
and why would you have to stick a penis like object in my ass?
It makes me horny sir. Now turn around so I can inject the drugs.
Awwwwww hell no! there ain't no way you getting close to my ass!
How about for this shiny nickel?
Hmmmmmm a very tempting offer...

 

by blackknight
4-17-09
Hello Mr. Bushwack. How are you this fine morning?
Awww well I am just gonna hit some balls with me good mate Tiger Woods.
I am sure you'll enjoy wacking those balls hard.
Oh yes we will Mr. Woods is a very good wacker.
Can I join in your merry game of hitting of balls?
Excuse me sir, but we monks do not hit other men's balls! You sick minded creature! To hell with you!

 

by blackknight
4-17-09
Sooo Mr. President what potentially life threatening thing are you gonna do today?
Well first thing on the agenda is to declare on another country
Well that doesn't sound to life threatening.
Well you know what BEEEEEEEP you!
....How about you blow up South Korea with a big bomb?
Goood idea Wilson! You are my new military advisor.

 

by blackknight
4-19-09
Sooo Dr. how is he gonna be?
Well we just cut open his skull and found this big mushie thing. we took it out and studied it.
What did you find out about this strange organ?
Well its sorta like a chemical computer capable of storing massive amounts of data. AND we also found out that without it the person would die.
So this is what heaven looks like...
I know right. its a shithole.

 

by blackknight
4-19-09
Hello darling how was your day?
I made a new friend! His name is Internal Darkness
All your souls will perish in the dark abyssal located in the darkest catacombs of lord Satan's Sanctuary!
Honey I am afraid I am gonna have to kill your friend here...
Awwww man! Well you know what father its to late! cause guess what he already screwed me! so fuck you father!
giggidy giggidy.

 

by blackknight
4-20-09
Hey buddy old pal how is it going?
Well my friend I am afraid your time has come...
Sooo what happens now do I win like a pizza or something?
ummmm....
Do I win a free trip to Hawaii? No no Cancun! wait wait I know this one!
I cut your fucking head off and you die its that simple dumbass you don't win anything!

 

by blackknight
4-20-09
Then I was all like I am gonna kick your motherBEEPing BEEEP until you start to BEEEEP outta your BEEEEP!
...
And then I was all like all hell no! Get your BEEEPing BEEEEP outta my BEEEEPing yard before I beat your BEEEEP into your motherBEEEEPing BEEEEP hole
And then I was all like shut the fuck up you dipshit!
.... You motherBEEEEPing BEEEEEP

 

by blackknight
4-21-09
God Dick why is your son soo fucking retarded?
My son is not retarded! He just has a high level of mental retardation.
Like father like son.
You know it kid! Dick I am beginning to think your son is smarter than you!
Dam straight I am!

 

by blackknight
4-21-09
Don't do it Kelley! Don't do it! He isn't worth it!
Awwwww fuck it ripped open!
Nooo don't! don't go in the closet! He is in there don't do it!
AHHHHGGGGRRHH!
Dammit! why don't the people on tv ever listen to me!

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
I AM SATAN! FEAR ME!
baba wha?
i can kill you with one breath of fire!!!
...
*BAM BAM BAM*
bitch

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
why....is...life...so....hard...
...
*sob*
hey...can i see those nails and hammer when your done?

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
*knock knock*
pssst...dude, its me, i got the stuff, open the door!
wha???
*knock knock*
its me dave
dave???what? dave isnt here rite now
*knock knock*
no! im dave! open the door now jim!
sorry jim, but dave isnt here rite now....

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
Hi, I'm Bear Grylls, today my mision is to cross this jungle full of crazy creatures
woah! a giant snail mate! this are dangerous creatures, but when cooked and eaten, are full of protein.
ugh...another crazy one
This scene has been blocked due to request of the "Green Group Worldwide"
*AGGGGGHHHH*
mmmm! yummmy stuff, not as good as escargot, but full of nutrients and vittamins!

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
Hi, I'm Bear Grylls, today my mision is to cross this jungle full of crazy creatures
woah! a giant snail mate! this are dangerous creatures, but when cooked and eaten, are full of protein.
ugh...another crazy one
This scene has been blocked due to request of the "Green Group Worldwide"
*AGGGGGHHHH*
mmmm! yummmy stuff, not as good as escargot, but full of nutrients and vittamins!

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
shhh...we are in a bat lair...these critters can be fiesty, but yet full of protein if cooked
i sware that is all he says
bats can be your worst nightmare if they bite you...if that happens sterilize the wound immediately
haha...
owwww...cameraman...help me,...augh
i sware that is all he says

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
Why hello fine sir. May I buy some pot from you?
Fuck off bitch, you ain't getting none of my pot. I don't sell to people like you.
What the fuck! I tried to be all fucking nice about it and where does it get me!
It doesn't get you in her pants thats for sure.
You jerk!
Motherfucking asshole...

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
I hear you sell pot cheap... But what I want to know is how cheap?
Its cheaper than that hooker over there.
Which one? the one on the left or the right?
Both..
Dam that is cheap pot.

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
Sooo... I hears you cheap?
Well thats a god damn lie...
Really? How much do you charge?
about a $1000/minute..
That must be some goood quality sex then.
Well thats a god damn lie...

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
Ok ok ok! How many fingures am I holding up?
Uno?
No dumbass one!
I said one..
Noooo you said uno! not one! uno

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
Oh my god! its number 20 holy shit holy shit holy shit!
Wooot!!! Go DragonForce: Through the fire and the flames! becuz of you I was able to stay up and make these.
Glad we could help!
hoy-wong-chang hoy-wang-chong

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
Oh my god! its number 20 holy shit holy shit holy shit!
Wooot!!! Go DragonForce: Through the fire and the flames! becuz of you I was able to stay up and make these.
Glad we could help!
hoy-wong-chang hoy-wang-chong

 

by blackknight
4-23-09
I am sorry Miguel, but I am afraid she didn't make it..
Oh my god!!! why lord why!!!! I thought you loved me!
Its ok Miguel, there are always more fish in the sea.
Why the fuck would I want a fucking fish! I want a woman!
Its an idiom...
Hmmmm.... idiom.. I am afraid I am not familiar with that word.. is it like gay porn or something?

 

by blackknight
4-25-09
Are you ok honey?
No it hurts.
What hurts?
everything!
why does everything hurt?
Cause I have fucking cancer dumbshit!

 

by blackknight
4-25-09
This is our new home honey.
Looks like a piece of shit...
Its a nice house and we are gonna live in it!
Can I sleep in the basement?
Why would you wanna sleep in the basement?
It told me too....

 

by blackknight
4-25-09
hmmmmmm I wonder whats behind this door.
MOOOOOO!
Huh?!?
It must've been the wind...
The wind doesn't make moooing sounds dumbass

 

by blackknight
4-25-09
zzzzzzzz ZZZZZZZZ zzzzzzzzz ZZZZZZZZZZZ zzzzzzzzz
*Creeeeeek*
What the fuck!!!!!
I am a ghost
Oh ok... thats coool....
dam right it is!

 

by blackknight
4-25-09
burn burn burn burn burn burn!
buuuurrrrrrrrnnnn!
Fly away spirits fly away!!!!! God dammit fly away!!!
Yay!!! burn us!!!!! burn us!!!! send us away!!!!
wtf is wrong with that guy?
I have no idea...

 

by blackknight
4-25-09
Oh my god!!! A zombie die!!!
Awwww fuck not again!
Hahahahahahahaha gotcha zombie! humans always win!
Oh my god!!! another zombie!!!! die zombie die!!!
This is the stupidest game ever...

 

by blackknight
4-27-09
*gasp* woahh! *deeep breath* incredible! sand....sand...this stuff is incredible, and if boiled at the right temperature can be very high in protein.
sand....sand...sand...
MOO
psssst...wrong episode dumbass! get off the set!!!

 

by blackknight
4-27-09
here i am, back in the scorching desert outback of austrailia...
many loving and caring species live in this wonderful terrain
hands up foo...
cameraman, oh cameraman! kangaroos are not allowed on the set being that they're not high in protein...wow

 

by blackknight
4-27-09
arent you shrek?mr. shrek? r u there?
*CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED*
gackk...aughhhh
i hate stereo types
aw shit man! look at this! ya gone and killed me now!

 

by blackknight
4-27-09
hey bleepborg freak-a-zoid! why don't you go back to mars! hahahaha! nooooob!
*ZAP*
...brrr...
my name is mike and im from delaware you jag-off
hey bleepborg freak-a-zoid! why don't you go back to mars! hahahaha! nooooob!

 

by blackknight
4-28-09
today we meet one of the most thrilling animals on the planet, the common rabbit, its a ver agile and quick creature.
oh great, this guy
he is for sure nataures dumbass tho, running amok traffic getting hit by cars and trucks, having babies rite in front of lawn mowers,
oh no he didn't...*grrrrrr* wait for it, wait for it
they are for sure one of natures cuddliest though, rab-- OH F***!! THAT RETARDED BUNNY SHIT ALL OVER MY SHOE!
hahaha!

 

by blackknight
4-28-09
a squirrell, some wonder where this small mammal hides its crack, being that this young fellow is always high, his treehouse friends are always supsicious of him
*rat tat tat tat nibble nibble nibble* oh wow, those nuts are good *nibble* wow wow wow
some just think he suffers from ADHD and has to make a trip to Walgreens every day to pick up his meds
hey! i dont take meds!!! grrrr
ow! aiiieee! ouch ouch!
thank you folks, that concludes are show, please watch next time and always remember, the squirrel, natures pimp

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