All comics by dommiel84

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by dommiel84
2-07-03
Well, our trip to America was short and uneventful
Yeah, and not particularly interesting either. If only something would happen to let us stay longer
It was my dream this week to see a filming of my favourite show... and I ruined it... I got kicked out for giving in to temptation
Yo boy, I saw what you did in there and I like your style. How would you like a part in some "specialist" films?
Well I'll fuck a cat!
You sure will!

 

by dommiel84
2-08-03
Well, what are we going to do now that Barry's gone off to become a porn star?
Well, American girls are slutty...
Yeah! And they love British accents!
Let's go find some prostitutes and have some hot discount sex!
I was going to suggest going to a bar or something...
Oh yeah, that could work! I'll get my hat!

 

by dommiel84
2-10-03
Can I have a volunteer to come up and sing the final words of this well known song please?
Oh! Me! Me!
Ok! Sing along, you all know the fucking words! Are you ready?
I sure am Osama!
Loopy!
Snooker loopy nuts are we! We're all snooker...
I FUCK CATS!

 

by dommiel84
2-10-03
Can I have a volunteer to come up and sing the final words of this well known song please?
Oh! Me! Me!
Ok! Sing along, you all know the fucking words! Are you ready?
I sure am Osama!
Loopy!
Snooker loopy nuts are we! We're all snooker...
I FUCK CATS!

 

by dommiel84
2-26-03

 

by dommiel84
2-26-03
Oh look! An american "bar"
We have bars at home Ollie...
Yeah, but our bars are classy places. With coasters.
Yeah, this is their version of a pub... hmm, do you have a pen?
Five minutes after writing PUB over the door
Wow! It's filled with English people who've been gagging for a drink and confused about this whole "bar" business
Yes... I have an idea... do you have any British or Canadian flags?

 

by dommiel84
3-24-03
Right, for the sake of humanity we have to kill George Bush
That might be difficult, I mean everyone wants him dead and yet he's still alive
Don't worry, I've brought back-up
Barry will be shot on site Eddie. Last time we were here he farted in the president's bedroom
Oh shit... Eddie, you're trying to get us killed aren't you?
Ah Eddie, we meet again infidel pig-scum

 

by dommiel84
3-24-03
As the British and american troops advance on Iraq
Ok men! Follow me! Guns firing! That's LEFT guys
OK! Fire this way!
That evening, the american and British generals discuss how their day went
What a shit day! We've suffered fatalities already
We've been doing alright. How many Iraqi troops did you come accross?
None. None at all.
Oh... my bad

 

by dommiel84
6-07-03
Do not adjust your monitors
Hello Americans, don't worry, we've taken over all your tv channels
We're sorry to interrupt Cheers but we'd just like to announce that we're now rulers of you country
We are in full control
What the hell? Who burnt that flag?
Wish I'd thought of that
Hehehe, I'm the daddy now!

 

by dommiel84
6-07-03
Deep beneath the White House
Ok, Ok... I was wrong to do... Look, I can't memorise that whole list!
Damn you Bush! You do as you're told or no banana!
Ok, I'm a bad, bad president
EX PRESIDENT!
I'm sorry, I'm a very naughty ex president. I have performed innumerable attrosities against humanity. Now can I have some food?
Hahaha, fuck you infidel!

 

by dommiel84
6-07-03
And so the United States of Great Britain was formed
Well, we've conquered America, but even when you're in charge, I've realised it still sucks. Let's go home
We can't go yet, we have to find Barry. And get off with cheap, slutty American girls
The entire planet praises your name *cough* capitalist bastard *cough*
And so they should my friend... Well Osama, it's been great seeing you again, sorry about that whole "fucking your daughters" thing. But to make up for it, I'm making you the new primeminister
I'm bored now... Let's go get some guns
Ok, but we'd better hurry before the bitches get cold. Oh, look a comemorative hat stall!

 

by dommiel84
11-02-03
Hey! What the fuck?
So GothMog, we meet at last...
I din't do nuttin!
Jeff is a registered trademark of Eddiecorp. Now you shall be punished for shitting on my intellectual property
You expect me to talk?
No Mr. Mog, I expect you to squeal like a pig boy!

 

by dommiel84
11-02-03
There's a mysterious stranger in Jeff's room
What the hell is that little girl doing to that pony?
*Remote reformat engaged*
Hey you, wait a minute Mr. Postman, wai-ai-ai-ait Mr. Postman. Mr. Postman, look and see. On my hard-drive there's no child pornography
I'm not a postman
It's not for purposes masturbatory. But now I'll have to silence you with an uzi!
Why doesn't the door have a handle on this side?

 

by dommiel84
11-03-03
I prayed to Brad a while back for a cripple to make fun of. I never got one.
I should have asked for a hat...
I just want a cripple... just one... They have tons of comedic potential!
It's probably for the best, we don't want to go making fun of the disabled.
Umm... can you smell shit?
*breathes*

 

by dommiel84
11-03-03
The president was quoted as saying "They're the ones with the beards, not the moustaches, right?"
And news just in!
A local office block has just reported that all but 3 sheets of paper have been stolen! We'll keep you up to date as events unfold
Who could be behind this daring paper heist?
Who the fuck steals paper? In other news... hey, where are my other sheets?
Mine are gone too... how bizarre

 

by dommiel84
11-03-03
Suspicious
'Cos he's a dedicated pilferer of paper. Oh, hi Barry, what are you up to?
Oh, I just had a shower after my work out. What's with all that paper outside?
What paper? So, you've been exercising hard then?
Well it wasn't really a work out, I just went to the toilet. And you know when it's squishy and you really have to shake your ass around to-
Stop there, please! Did you really build up enough of a sweat to warrant a shower afterwards though?
No, but it was just easier than wiping, it was a mess. Oh, and by toilet, I mean your sink.

 

by dommiel84
2-06-04
In Stevie's Room
Shag! Look at all this gold! Look at it! It's beautiful!
It's paper Mr. Munns sir...
Suddenly the lights go out
Shag! SHAG! It's so dark... The Reaper's come for me!
It's ok sir, it's just the lights, they've gone out
The lights come back on
Well I can see perfectly well, your eyes are crippled Shag. Where's my gold???
It's been stolen! All the paper's gone!

 

by dommiel84
2-06-04
S.I.N. Headquarters (Stevie's room)
We need to track down the paper theif! This is the 4th time he's struck this week!
I don't care about paper! I want my gold back!
...yes... gold. Well, I think if we use S.I.N. Resources we could find it
It's S.I.N. Shag! Stevie's Intelligence Network! Not Shag's! It's not called S.I.N. is it?
...well actually-
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

 

by dommiel84
2-06-04
Ok, this is the night-vision surveilance feed of my room... The person who stole my gold was a ninja!
A ninja! Of course! Actually that doesn't make any sense...
Look Shag! Hahaha! When the lights went out you wet yourself! There's a puddle forming on the floor!
Actually that's you Mr. Munns...
I fucked your mum Shag. I stuck my panini into her fanjita

 

by dommiel84
2-06-04
Stop! THIEF!
I am the night, paper is my goal. I fear nothing
Fucking clouds, always leaving the sodding door open. No wonder out heating bill's so high
The perfect crime

 

by dommiel84
4-17-04
Stevie, ever feel like your god's foresaken you, cast you aside like a knackered air-fix model with missing le-... pieces? A project he soon got sick of after starting?
What the fuck are you on about fag? I am my own god, I don't need your second hand ones!
I'm Shag's god too, aren't I Shag?
Actually I was brought up as a-
IDOLITER! Thou shalt not worship false idols! Except this comb... Sweet faggy Christ, it's beautiful...
It's a pen

 

by dommiel84
10-25-06
A new breed of superhero is born...
Soon my army of really awesome robots will tear this city to the ground! Hey, who are you?
Me? Oh, I'm Laissez-Faire Man
One with almost limitless power!
Are you... Are you a superhero?
Yup.
But completely indifferent
You're not going to hurt me are you? This suit may look padded but I'm actually just a little chubby...
No, no, it's cool. You go right ahead. I think I'll watch tv.

 

by dommiel84
10-25-06
Laissez-faire Man! Thank goodness you're here! We have the perp, he hacked up 17 people and ate their eyes!
Yeah, I was actually just passing by so...
I didn't eat the eyes, they're right here! I'm collecting them. Later I'm going to perform experiments to see which organs children can live without. With knives.
You're one sick motherfucker Jeff! I'll see to it you get your face punched through the back of your head by a superhero!
What do you say Laissez-faire Man? You up for some face-punching?
Well, you both have good arguments. I'll leave you to sort it out between yourselves.

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