All comics by edoggydog

 

by edoggydog
3-24-05
...so, then I says to da bitch, "Hey! Why don't you fetch deez balls!"
Groovy!
Say... Did you hear about Buddy being canned by the dealership for lack of sales?
Really? I was told that he was a relative success there...
Well... In his case, "relative success" meant he only sold three cars to family members!
I guess I'll never understand the theory of "relativity"...

 

by edoggydog
3-24-05
Dude... I've been thinking about how I've been type-cast in this comic strip, and I think I've come up with a new angle to break free from my current image. I'll show you when I'm done peeing...
Groovy!
TOBOR WILL NOW COMMIT ANAL SEX ON YOU!! MU-WAHAHA!!
Dude... I've already seen you do that in atleast two other comics in Stripcreator...
I know... I couldn't think of anything else...
Dork...

 

by edoggydog
3-24-05
Dude... My roommate moved out and left this box full of his personal items. I'm thinking of pilfering through it...
Groovy!
Hmmm... I feel so guilty, though... I mean, this is his private stuff, y'know...
There may be some porn mags in there...
.55 seconds later...
Damn! Check out the funbags on this hose hound!
Works every time...

 

by edoggydog
3-25-05
...and you should have seen the faces on those disciples when came out of the cave! Priceless!
Groovy!
Say... Can you do me a HUGE favor? I have an major itch, and I was wondering if, you know, you could...
Hell no!
Fine! Be that way!
Okay! Okay! I'll go grab the Gold Bond... (What a big baby!)

 

by edoggydog
3-25-05
....so, I says, "Polly wants a cracker', and they end up bringing me Bill Clinton!
Groovy!
Dude.. Between you and I, I really hate it here! I'm about to make a break for it, so you may want to turn around...
Go for it!
You still there? Can I turn back around? Hello..?

 

by edoggydog
3-25-05
...and if you listen very hard, you can hear the little fairies singing to you...
Groovy!
Anyhoo... The real reason I'm here is I'm collecting old clothing for my church. Would you be so kind to donate so that you can brighten the day of someone less fortunate than you, my friend?
Uh, I'd like to, but I really don't have any old clothes that I could spare...
YOU BETTER FIND SOME @#$% CLOTHES TO DONATE TO MY @$#% CHURCH BEFORE I CUT OFF YOUR $#%@ NUTS, &%@# FACE!!
Okay! Okay! I'll take look... (Sheeesshhh! What a grouch!)

 

by edoggydog
3-25-05
Dude... I'm so sorry for losing my cool and threatening you earlier. I want to extend you these flowers as a symbol of my love, and I beg for your forgiveness. Can we still be friends?
Groovy!
What's that? What's that you say..? Really? No... I couldn't! I could? But... But... Okay. If you say so...
?
MUST KILL FRENCH-LOOKING FAG-BOY AND TAKE OVER STRIP!!
Hmmm... This guy's been showing up a lot lately. I wonder if he's planning on taking over the strip. Maybe, I should go re-read my contract...

 

by edoggydog
3-25-05
Okay... Once more from the top to make sure I haven't left anything out...
Groovy!
After the psycho in the hockey masked attacked you, you lulled him into a coma by playing the bongos and citing poetry. Then, you dropped an anvil on his head, and fed him into the wood chipper...
That's correct...
On behalf of the tax payers of L.A. County, I thank you for saving us the expense of murder trial. Based on the Blake Trial verdict, a bunch of dumbshits would have let him off had he killed you...
Happy to do my civic duty...

 

by edoggydog
3-25-05
...so, then I told the foreman that I do not work on "skeleton" crews. I make no bones about that!
Groovy!
(uncomfortable silence)
See ya...
Bye...

 

by edoggydog
3-28-05
...so, then I painted them all black, and the next day only two showed up for work!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Between you and me, I think my wife has fallen into a "persistent vegetative state"...
How can you tell?
Well... The sex is about the same, but the dishes are starting to pile up!
Hmmm... I could use that in my act...

 

by edoggydog
3-28-05
Groovy!
...so, then he tells the doctor, "The sex is about the same, but the dishes are starting to pile up!"
HOW CAN YOU BE SO HEARTLESS TO JOKE ABOUT THAT POOR WOMAN IN FLORIDA! AND, TO THINK WE WERE JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOUR HUMOR! GET OFF THE STAGE, YOU UNFEELING PRICK!!
Son of bitch. Shit.

 

by edoggydog
3-28-05
...so, I ended up just dropping a ten megaton ACME neutron bomb and vaporizing the little shit!
Groovy!
I guess I just got tired of chasing his stoopid ass up and down that hot desert highway, getting boulders dropped on my head, and falling off that cliff over and over again. You know what I mean?
I guess I guess I can't blame you...
Then, can you explain that to the Arizona Attorney General for me?
Sure... No problem! I'll leave now! [Meep! Meep!]

 

by edoggydog
3-28-05
...so, that's why you may consider protecting yourself against Vaginal Yeast Overgrowth, a.k.a. VYO....
Groovy!
Anyhoo... You wanna here something funny that happened this morning? I was having breakfast with my wife, and I meant to say to her, "Please, pass the sugar, sweetheart."
So... What did you actually say?
"You screwed up my life, you stupid bitch!" [pause] Can I stay at your place tonight?
Fuck you, assho- (oops!) I mean, sure! I'll go grab the roll away bed...

 

by edoggydog
3-28-05
I wanted to respond to this whole "persistent vegetative state" phenom that's in the news, if I may...
Groovy!
According to the definition, anyone who doesn't respond to vocal stimuli, has a glazed-over look in their eyes, and depends on others to feed them, is in this state, and should starved to death...
And, your point is..?
My point is you can apply this same definition to cats! You see what I'm getting at?
I dig... You may actually have to socialize with other people just to stay alive. Bummer!

 

by edoggydog
3-28-05
As you know, I had surgery to re-attach my bicep tendon last month...
Groovy!
Well... How did it turn out?
How did it turn out? What are you...a @#%$ idiot? Just look at me!
Hmmm... Seems like we've "been here/done this" already...

 

by edoggydog
3-29-05
Y'know... With the recent events that are happening in the world, I've been doing a lot of personal reflection on what I'm doing as a citizen of this planet...
Groovy!
I just get so sad thinking about the people in Iraq, the vicitms of the tsunami, and, of course, that poor woman in Florida. So, much pain and agony! There must be something I can do to help...
Well... There are many worthwhile charities to donate your time and money...
Well, I'm not THAT upset about the whole situation. I just like to bemoan all the world's problems to appear compassionate. Besides, I say let the government take care of it all...
Coming from someone with no job, and pays no taxes... Typical!

 

by edoggydog
3-29-05
...so, then I says to her, "You better check yourself, before you wreck yourself, Bee-ya-ya-ya-ya-otch!!"
Groovy!
Hey, uncle... I've been wanting to ask you something...
Fire away, nephew...
You're 40 years old and not married. And, no kids. Are you a fag, or what?
Yeah? So? YEAH?! SO?! (Little shit...)

 

by edoggydog
3-29-05
...so, then I says to the nun, "You better check yourself, before you wreck yourself, Sistah!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... About your nephew: He may not have understood what he was saying when he questioned your sexuality. I wouldn't give it a second thought...
Thanks. That's a load off my mind...
On the other hand... Maybe, I should spend some "alone time" with him for further analysis and counseling... [pant, pant]
Uh... No.

 

by edoggydog
3-29-05
...so, I then says to P. Diddy, "You better turn yourself, before you burn yourself, Suckah!"
Groovy!
Ah, shit! Here comes that "Hey, Verne!" dude...
So..?
I can't put my finger on it, but there's something about his "Y'know-what-I-mean?" that gives me the willies!
Hmmm... Did "Ernest" go to hell, too?

 

by edoggydog
3-30-05
Dude... Wanna hear about an incredible experience I had last night while at the coffee shop with my girlfriend and her cute friend Jamalia?
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Jamalia was telling us about a dream she had working out in her lingerie. I was so excited imagining her doing it, that later I couldn't help but whack off! I felt so ashamed!
So what? It's only natural to have those feelings! What's so shameful about that?
Dude... We were still at the coffee shop!
Damn, dawg! That reminds me of my own embarrassing experience at the petting zoo last year...

 

by edoggydog
3-30-05
I want to apologize to all the (ahem) fans of "Groovy!". I was going through my list of comics, and apparently a forgot to do number 103. So, here's a hastily written comic to make up for it...
...then I told the butt-munch, "Hey! Don't get short with me, buddy!"
Groovy!
I hoped you liked it! Now, back to work, losers!

 

by edoggydog
3-30-05
...see, when I make this face and growl, most people get the $@%# out of my way! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Groovy!
?
Uh... You'd better take me to the emergency room. I think my face is stuck...
Sure thing... C'mon boy! Go for a walk?! That's a good boy!

 

by edoggydog
3-30-05
Yo... Check dis out, homegrown! Wanna hear da latest on da Pope?
Groovy!
They just stuck feeding tube up in his motherfucking nose...
Wow! Really?
You ain't heard da best part, bee-yotch. Word on da street is Michael Schiavo is filing court papers to have da tube removed, claiming da Pope told him dat he wouldn't want to live dis way...
Someone should shove that tube up Schiavo's ass!

 

by edoggydog
3-31-05
Dude... Guess who finally died? What a horrible tragedy! Well, I'm going to take action and try to turn this terrible event into a positive, learning experience for all of us!
Groovy!
I propose a week of national mourning, along with a cross-country viewing of the corpse, culminating in a parade in Washington, D.C.! Maybe, even erect a commemorative statue...
I like it! What a great way to honor Terri Shiavo...
Terri who..? I was talking about Johnnie Cochran!
Johnnie Cochran? Whaaaaaaaat?? Well, I guess "if it doesn't fit", then I must go take a shit! Late...

 

by edoggydog
3-31-05
"...there's an angel on my shoulder, in my hands a sword of gold. Let me wander in your garden, and the seeds of love I sow..."
Groovy!
Um... Anymore Zeppelin lyrics you're unclear on?
No... That's about it. Thanks, dude...
Are you sure? How about "Kashmir"? "Trampled Under Foot"? "In the Evening"? Anything? It's no problem!
Poor guy! Apparently, he's got nothing better to do since the demise of Swan Song Records...

 

by edoggydog
4-01-05
"...and, yo, though I slide through the Valley of Death, I fears no Evil, as I will bust a cap in dat ass, fo' shizzle!"
Groovy!
So... You like the "flavah" I put on that passage?
It's cool, but...
I know, I know! But, I need to so something... I'm losing the youth market to that mother-@$%# hip-hop!
Jesizzle Chrisizzle! That %#&$ rap music is everywhere!

 

by edoggydog
4-01-05
...so, then someone yelled, "Duck!" I turned to say, "No shit!", and that's when the golf ball hit me! Luckily, I just had my bill texture coated, so it left no mark...
Groovy!
There's just one thing I don't understand about that whole incident...
What's that?
Why the #%$@ were those assholes hitting golf balls off the end of that @%#$ cruise ship in the first place?!
How the @%#$ would I know? Go ask Kathy Lee Gifford!

 

by edoggydog
4-01-05
...the Jacksons over on Elm, the Johnson's over on 5th, and the Shabatian's on Maplewood.
Groovy!
That's it with the references. If you're satisfied, I can start trimming your bushes...
Yes. Please, start in the backyard...
8 minutes later...
Uh... Do you own a three-hundred pound Rottweiler?
You mean Poopsie? Ah, shit... I forgot! I'll go put her in the garage. Sorry...

 

by edoggydog
4-01-05
...then, he tried to kiss me on the cheek! So, I gave that homo a hard knee to his nuts. Word got back to Pilot, and that's really how I ended up on this cross...
Groovy!
Any other questions, my son?
Did you know that the Pope is dying?
Yes, I do... And, boy is he in for a BIG surprise once I get a hold of his ass!
Hmmm... Let me guess: "Though shall not try to cover up child molestation committed by Priests."

 

by edoggydog
4-04-05
Dude... Great news! I'm back together with my cute, Perisan girlfriend! She forgave me for that language mishap I had with her mother...
Groovy!
Fuckin'-A right it's "groovy"! We spent the weekend at her sister's house in Encino. Loving, touching, squeezing...
Sounds like a magical time you had!
Yes! Well... Up until the moment I accidently walked in on her sister taking a dump! What does, "Boro gomsho kooni" mean?
Khar kuss!

 

by edoggydog
4-04-05
So, there I was at the '72 Olympics in Munich, Germany. I was on my final toss in the hammer-throw event, needing only 88.5 meters to win the gold...
Groovy!
I reached deep-down, summoned all my strength... I threw that fucker 135 meters!!
You won the gold!
No! The field judge gave me a foot-fault, and I finished fourth! So, I went out and terrorized the local village, as the people shouted, "Frankenstein! Gefurht! Frankenstien! Gefuhrt!"
Okay... I think we've run the full spectrum of jokes for "Red Robot" guy... Next?!

 

by edoggydog
4-04-05
...so, there I was, mono-a-mono with Moneymaker at the final table in Binions. I went all in for the 2003 World Series of Poker Championship! Talk about nervous-time...
Groovy!
Somehow, he knew I was bluffing. So, he called my pair of two's, and I lost everything! To this day, I still don't how he read me. I mean, what was my "tell"...
Well, dude... When you get nervous, you tend to shake your bones, chattering like a pair of castanets. I heard it clear as day on ESPN...
Nahhh... That couldn't have been it...
Numbskull!

 

by edoggydog
4-04-05
Eh... [munch, munch] What's up, doc?
Groovy!
twenty-seven minutes later...
Ehh... {munch, munch] What's up, doc?
Okay, it was cute the first time. After the hundreth time, it's now starting to bug. Can't you say anything else?
How about this: "What's up, dick?"
Much better! Now, wait her while I go grab my shotgun. It is now officially "Wabbit" Season...

 

by edoggydog
4-04-05
Dude... I've come up with the perfect logarithm to pick winning numbers for ANY Lotto drawing. And, it's so simple! Why don't you and the readers grab a pen and paper and write this down...
Groovy!
WE INTERRUPT "GROOVY!" FOR THIS IMPORTANT NEWSFLASH!!
Today, both the Pope's and Terri Schaivo's bodies were flown to a secret location to participate in a secrect, but strange, post-mortem wedding ritual. Details at eleven...
We now return you to "Groovy!"...
...then you carry the one, and (viola!) you have the winning numbers!
You're right! That is simple! I better go buy my ticket before it's too late...

 

by edoggydog
4-04-05
...and this is where the story gets "hot and juicy"... As he had me pinned up against the wall, he slowly undid my shoelaces...
Groovy!
WE INTERRUPT "GROOVY!" FOR THIS IMPORTANT NEWSBREAK!
Tune in tonight at eleven as I attempt to re-enact the death of Terri Schiavo by starving myself, along with keeping my mouth open and never blinking, for thirteen days!
We now return you to "Groovy!"...
...finally, after three hours, we collapsed into one, sweaty, throbbing heap! My back teeth are still sore! Was that a great story or what..?
*Whew!* Unbelievable! Now, excuse me while I go home and pummel my penis into submission...

 

by edoggydog
4-05-05
...then I tells the guy, "We ain't 'kin', so why don't you 'pump' this, bee-ya-ya-ya-ya-yotch!"
Groovy!
By the way... I've been wanting to donate money to Stripcreator.com, but I don't feel comfortable sending my credit card info over the internet. I'd rather pay by check...
Well... You know, if you e-mail Brad, he'll tell you how you can mail in your donation...
I did that already! Hey, Brad... If you are reading this... CAN YOU REPLY TO MY @%#$ E-MAIL SO I CAN SEND YOU SOME @#$% MONEY?!
Word!

 

by edoggydog
4-05-05
...then I showed them the traditional, ritual dance of the Piwi Tribe of Outer Mongolia...
Groovy!
All you do is jump up and down and yell like a @%#$ idiot! HI-YA-YA-YA! HI-YA-YA-YA! HI-YA-YA-YA-
Uh, bad news... Your contract with "Groovy!" has been terminated. I guess the higher-ups think your character is too one-dimensional...
NO! Say it isn't so! [sob] Where will I go? What will I do?
Frankly, my dear... I don't give a damn!

 

by edoggydog
4-05-05
...so, then I told the woman, "That's not what I meant when I asked you to give me some 'skull'!"
Groovy!
Say... You haven't seen a 16" femur bone laying around, have you? I think it fell off me last time I was here...
Uh... Nope!
Later...
[pant, pant]
Good boy!

 

by edoggydog
4-06-05
Dude... I just heard on the radio that Pinot sales are up 33% because of the movie "Sideways"...
Groovy!
Y'know... I'm somewhat of a wine connoisseur myself...
I'll bet you like yours "bone dry"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Up yours!
Touchy!

 

by edoggydog
4-06-05
I don't know if you know this, but I did play three years in the major leagues...
Groovy!
But, they banned me from baseball in 2003 for steroid use...
?
What?
I wonder what's on cable...

 

by edoggydog
4-06-05
Dude... I've been trying to open up to you these last few comics, and all you've done is belittle me, or ignore me altogether!
Groovy!
"Groovy"? Is that all you can say? I do have feelings, y'know. I do have a HEART...
?
WELL, I DO!!
Now, I've heard everything...

 

by edoggydog
4-06-05
Dude... I got your e-mail, and I accept your apology! Yes, I still want to be friends...
Groovy!
I don't mean to be so sensitive. But, I guess I'm just "skin and bones" like everyone else...
!
DON'T SAY IT!
Damn! If I bite my tongue any harder, I'll be talking with a permanent lisp!

 

by edoggydog
4-06-05
...but, the scene I like best in "Splash" is when Eugene Levy looks at Tom Hanks and yells, "MOOOOOOOVE!!"
Groovy!
I guess that's about it with the "cow" references...
So... Remind me again why you're in today's strip..?
I guess after doing so many panels with skeleton-boy, the writers felt they had "milked" that charater dry! Get it? MILK-ed? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA...
Boy... That joke had more "corn" than the dump I took last night!

 

by edoggydog
4-06-05
...then, moms yells, "Ouch!" and precedes to tit-slap the shit out of me! Oh, well... I guess I was really thirsty, and I'm not used to my new teeth.
Groovy!
By the way... The Lakers were eliminated from the playoffs last night! Now, I know I'm just a baby, and maybe I'm just not mature enough to understand...
Understand what?
Can you tell me again why they traded away Shaq?
I'd rather go sit on my thumb, and lean back on my wrist before trying to explain that mess again...

 

by edoggydog
4-07-05
Dude... Let me tell you about my experience at Staples today. Unbelievable!
Groovy!
*click*........*click*.....*click*....*click*..*click*
First, I asked the girl at the register if they sell postage stamps. She said "they don't sells stamps for postcards, but they do sell regular stamps..." Then, she gave me a $50 bill for change and-
Dude... Is there a joke here anywhere?
*CLICK*-*CLICK*-*CLICK*-*CLICK*-*CLI
Uh... No real joke here. Why?
Because, I can actually hear the clicking of computer mouses as our readers are switching over to "Chuckaduck"!

 

by edoggydog
4-07-05
Dude... I just read an interesting report put out by the Federal Reserve...
Groovy!
Essentially, it said that people with good looks tend to earn more money than ugly people. And, that the prettiest among us make the most! Still, I'm confused...
About what?
Explain Bill Gates...
Oh, that's easy... He's the Anti-christ!

 

by edoggydog
4-07-05
...sho, I'm at the shupermarket yeshterday [hic], and there's a woman in front of me in the checkout line [BURP!] with a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, lettuce, and a can of tuna... [hic]
Groovy!
I could [hic] tell she was not married... BRAPPPPPP!!
How? Because of the type of food she was buying?
No... Because she was fucking ugly! [BARF!}
Hmmm... I think I'll go hang out at the supermarket. Maybe, that woman is desperate enough to sleep with a French-looking fag-boy...

 

by edoggydog
4-08-05
Dude! Guess what? My agent landed me a part in Terminator 4! And, I didn't even have to audition for it! We start filming next month...
Groovy!
I'm going to play the role of a cyborg...
Cyborg?
Yeah! Y'know... A humanoid machine surrounded by living...human...flesh... Oh, I see what you mean. Shit!
I'll be back...

 

by edoggydog
4-08-05
So... You say you want to try selling cars for a living, eh? Today's your lucky day! Human resources will put a mirror up to your nose, and if you fog it, you're in like flint!
Groovy!
But, before I have you do that, I want you to answer one simple question: Why do you want to come work here at Floyd Motors?
Well, I really care about people, and I think I can do good by not only treating the customers with honesty and respect, but also by giving them a fair deal on a car they really want to buy...
GET THE FUCK OFF MY LOT, PANSY!
What'd I say? What'd I say?

 

by edoggydog
4-08-05
Um... I apologize for losing my cool earlier. I think you'll make a fine addition to Floyd Motors, so welcome aboard! Now, go out there and sell something!
Groovy!
Later that afternoon...
Welcome to Floyd Motors! How may I serve you?
Well, sonny... I want to test drive every car on the lot because I'm old and I got nothing better to do. Then, I'll leave without buying, never to return again, therefore wasting all your time!
@%#$ this job! I quit!

Showing page 3.

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