All comics by funnykid

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
Hello. Who are you? I thought I saw someone trying to kill you.
I can't remember anything.
Can you remember anything yet?
No, I'm just getting more confused.
Well, this isn't good at all.
I still don't know who I am.

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
How are you today?
Contemplating suicide.
I see.

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
I'm glad to see you reading Billy.
And I do encourage you enriching yourself.
But please give me the playboy consealed in that book.

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
Oh. It's you, Bear.
Yea. You know what some kids were just shouting at me? SILLY OLD BEAR!! Just to annoy me.
Um...
So I grabbed a copy of Winnie-the-Pooh, and used the corners to rip their hearts out.
It's three in the morning and I'm pretty drunk. Could you come back later?
Did I tell you I was robbing a bank at the time?

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
I have horrible news.
What?
I've got cancer. I have 31 days to live.
That's horrible! But at least you get out on day 29, so you can see everyone one last time.
Actually, they're keeping me in the extra two days, since they don't want to release someone with cancer into the world. I'm contaminated with stupid.
I could have told you that.

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
Mr. Bear dies, and finds himself in a long hall.
Happiness is at the end of this hall.
No! No! It's a trick! That's the path to hell!!
Have it your way.
Well?
That was certainly a crappy decision.

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
Sargent, I need you to hold everyone off until I retrive the substance.
What should I do? We have no weapons.
Just keep them talking.
Okay.
Oh. Um...my leader? He's not the issue. The issue is why we don't make peace and love. Matbe watch some Will and Grace.

 

by funnykid
1-21-06
The black substance is right in the building next to us.
Dude, this place is wasted.
Totaled.
Trashed.
Goddamnit, I forgot what I'm doing now!
Something about AIDS?

 

by funnykid
1-22-06
I used to hate reading in front of the class.
Maybe because you sucked at it?
I thought I was just bad at it. Then I went to Sylvan Learning Center.
You WERE bad at it.
And now, I'm reading to all the guys!
You're either a big, fat pussy, or you have a terrible sense of cool.

 

by funnykid
1-22-06
Look, a ship! We're SAVED!!
No we're not, that's Enron.
Give us some oil!
I told you, that oil ship won't work.

 

by funnykid
1-22-06
So I says, "I CAN'T believe I WORE that!
Haha!
Why the fuck are you talking to me?

 

by funnykid
1-24-06
I'm thinking of something sexy.
You?
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Yes. I know. Say yes.

 

by funnykid
1-24-06
Another Kowboy Krap comic? The first one was extremely unfunny.
Like you?
Now what's he gonna do with the other two panels?
Oh, please. How original.

 

by funnykid
1-24-06
Please wash your hands before returning to the kitchen.
Why isn't there a sign?
They realized the cost of having a person stand around and tell you to wash your hands is cheaper than printing a sign.
It was bound to happen someday.

 

by funnykid
1-24-06
And the guy looks and goes " Burrrrrgggeerrrrr Kiiiiinngggggg."
That joke sucks. I'd laugh to be nice, but I can't even force a fake laugh through my internal gagging.
So... What do you think?
You're gonna make it big time as the best comedian in the world.
Take THAT, imaginary mix of Carrot Top, Jay Leno, and Rush Limbaugh!

 

by funnykid
1-24-06
How much will you pay me?
A ridiculously high amount, which will be streached by the media. You will then demand two million bucks per gig. Soon after, I will pay you a ridiculously LOW amount. You will then fade slowly.
Cool. My agent is an oracle. AND you can stretch panels. SWEET. I'l take the job.

 

by funnykid
1-24-06
This dude hired me to be his agent. He's the WORST comedian ever. His show's on tonight.
Sweet.
Heard about the goldfish who went into debt? And he says "Buurrrrrgggggeerrr Kiiinnnnngggggg!"
We're gonna need to get more drunk.

 

by funnykid
1-25-06
How'd my gig rate, Brad?
Most people said it rocks, but usually the people who call with feedback are the only 6 people who liked the performance.
I was a sucess!!
You're so funny you don't even realize when you're a joke, do you?
Are you insinuating something?

 

I desparatly need an X-Box
I TOLD you, people won't sponsor you unless you need it.
by funnykid, 1-25-06

 

by funnykid
1-25-06
So I says to him, "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"
Haha!
That's not funny.

 

by funnykid
1-25-06
Look, I'm trying to say you're not funny.
But...but...WHY?
Nobody likes you.
At least SOMEBODY likes me!
Nobody?
Really, you're a goddamn retard.

 

by funnykid
1-25-06
test
mo' test!

 

by funnykid
1-25-06
I eat twelve kids a day.
RARRR!! They taste better with cornhole!
I eat twelve kids a day.
WEN A MAN LUVS A WOMAN HEE EETS THE FUKIN BICH!!
I eat twelve kids a day.
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by funnykid
1-25-06
I eat twelve kids a day.
That's idiotic. They have no nutrition.
Surely they're tasty.
Of course. But I'm not into fatty foods.
You weight-watchers junkie.

 

by funnykid
1-26-06
Who WAS threereasons?
I don't know, but he created THREE in-joke characters.
Really?
Yes. The cowboys, the feetforears, who was the mad rapist in the fuck era, and you.
What about you?
YOU'RE the joke, and we all know it.

 

by funnykid
1-29-06
Hey, George. I just saw that play, "Brigidoon".
And I saw your wife with in my BED last night.
Wha__
Brigidoon!! That play is funny.

 

by funnykid
1-30-06
Hey, Dave. What's the difference between an axe and a plush toy?
*Sigh* What?
I sure didn't use a plush toy to rob the bank.
Umm...What?

 

by funnykid
1-30-06
Pshhhh.
Pfffft.
Pooh!
Niet!
Scow.
Pishaw!

 

by funnykid
1-30-06
haha its mee the mad rappist adn im here to giv yuo som candy
som candy
im all rapped owt remember
somhow i thot that youd__
dont puhs your luck
uh-oh

 

by funnykid
1-30-06
I DREAM OF JEANIE!
I DREAM OF FUCKING JEANIE!!
DUDE....

 

by funnykid
1-30-06
IM HAVING SOME PROBLEMS WITH MY GIRL WHAT SHOULD I DO OSAMA?
BOMB HER COUNTRY!
BUT SHES AN AMERICAN
I KNOW KILL KILL HAHA
OSAMA YOUR UNDER ARREST
ILL BOMB YOUR COUNTRY!!!!!

 

by funnykid
1-30-06
COME HEAR BICH I WANT TO RAPE YOU
OH PLEASE IM ONLY 5
IVE BEEN ON THIS ILAND FOR A WEEK NOW BEND
WAAAA!!
WHAT?
THATS RIGHT POLISE ARE STILL HEAR EVEN ON AN ILAND!!!!

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
I TOLD HIM THATTOO MARI MEE HED HAF 2 BE KOOL
WAZ HE KOOLL??/
NO BUTE HE GAV ME A PREZENT!!!!!!!!111
WAT WAZ YOR PREZENT??
The ability to escape caps!
O HE GAV YOU SPLELING AND GRAMER 2? U SUK!!!!

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
So, how was your week?
I'm starting to date.
Oh, really? Any problems?
None so far. I'm gonna see Abe Vigoda tonight.
Hello? Abe?
Out of my way little girl. I'm waiting for my date.

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
So...you're my date?
Yes.
Ummm....I'm used to taller girls.
Why don't you like me for who I am?
Face it. If I weren't an actor, you'd walk out on me.
I thought you were in a rotting zombie costume.

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
How'd it go?
Terrible. He hated me, and he was ugly.
Well, at least you can get a fresh start.
I can try dating taller guys.
You're just full of yourself cuz you're taller than me.
Naw. My hair's just better.

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
Well, at least THAT'S over.
Abe Vigoda?
Yes?
You're under arrest for child molestation.
She wasn't a kid.
I'm talking about the OTHER molestation charges, Mr. Vigoda.

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
I have to tell you, you are creepy.
Yes? Your POINT??
Jeez...I'll stop beating around the bush, Mr. Vigoda...
Yes?
I'm arresting you for still being alive. Get in the van.
I want a high-priced lawyer!

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
Finally, my lawyer!
Um....no. I'm here to introduce your lawyer. AND HERE HE IS!!!!
Hello.
Hello. I'm here to tell you that you are ugly and should be dead. I WILL stand up for you in court, but I may forget to help you. My correspondant, Mr. Bear hates your guts as well. Good day.
What are my other options?
Get high. That's what I do.

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
This is where you'll be spending the rest of your life...Mr. Vigoda? MR. VIGODA?
I lllooovveee youu bunnymannnnnn!!! i hav no ch0ic3 bu7 2 j01n y0uuu!!
You've been high for hours, dude. I'm tired of the web talk and spirals.
Bunny loves me......ham....
I knew I gave him to much.

 

by funnykid
2-04-06
There you are, honey!
Did you have a nice day at work?
No.
Pffft.
WHAT A WAY TO END A SERIES!!
I KNOW!! THE WRITER IS A GENIUS!!

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
Hello, Uncle Bob. I just swung by this place to get a drink before I return to work.
Aren't you a cop? You can't drink on duty.
Heavens, no. I'm a french fry salesman.
But didn't you arrest Abe Vigoda?
If I give you some french fries, will you forget all this?
Are they burger king fries?

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
You gonna watch the superbowl?
Nah. Too overhyped. I don't care that much.
Yeah. Well, I'm not watching it for the game. They're bringing back the Bud Bowl.
Holy CRAP!!
50 years later...
Remember when we watched the bud bowl?
It was worth eternal pain and suffering.

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
Hey honey, it's Superbowl time.
I don't care about that silly superbowl...teehee!
Oh, my, no. Of COURSE not. It sucks. But they're doing a recreation of Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction at half-time.
!!!!!
He deserved it.
Did you kill him while he was naked?

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
OH LOOK!! A TOUCHDOWN!
ummmm....the superbowl isn't on for three hours.
Oh, I know. I'm watching porn.
Dude...
Watching Mating Season Special on Animal Planet is NOT watching PORN.

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
Big brother, why are you so careful I don't get into your room?
It's for your own good, sally.
I...I LOVE you...Big Brother!
Big brother's always watching you!
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
Toilet inspector.
What do you want?
To inspect your toilet.
IS THIS HOW YOU GET YOUR SICK KICKS??????
What?
I'M A-A....BEAR!! I DON'T HAVE A *sniff* T-T-T-TOILET!!

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
Hello. Have you come to honor the great one?
No. More like eat chinese food.
What? You flew out to china to eat the food?
This is ChinaTOWN.
......
You spent thousands on plane tickets, didn't you?

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
Wow, Mr. Bunny! Why are we going to a bar?
To learn about beer!
You're stoned.

 

by funnykid
2-05-06
Remember, kids. STOP CRIME IN ITS TRACKS!
I'm a burgler. I will hurt you.
NOT ON MY SHOW!!
WTF??
Was that in the script?
No. But it is an example of how to defend yourself against a burgler.

Showing page 3.

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