Contest 198f by il_schmucko7-23-03 I have lots of porn on my PC's local disk-- (insert hard drive joke)
Contest 198h by il_schmucko7-23-03 My hard drive's SCSI-- When I'm careless jerking off, so is my keyboard.
Contest 198i by il_schmucko7-23-03 My girlfriend is pissed-- Like there's anything wrong with beagle-sex.com
Apologies... by il_schmucko7-23-03 Let's scroll up again... "one entry per person," huh? I should read the rules.
Contest 199b: Kicking the Beckett by il_schmucko7-24-03 Act III: Several years later. Vladimir has long since died; Estragon has lost his hat. Hi. I represent Mr. Godot. He says he'll be coming-- Let me guess. Tomorrow? Yes. Quite sorry, but I must be going. Wake up, Mr. Penis. You and me are gonna go another round.
Contest 199c: Like a box of chocolates. by il_schmucko7-25-03 What are you doing out here? Waiting for the "Gump and Co." movie. The sequel to "Forrest Gump?" They haven't even announced that movie yet. I know, but it's one of the most popular movies ever. It's only a matter of time. But you hated "Forrest Gump." Did I not mention the 50 pounds of dynamite strapped to my chest?
Contest 199d: One day at the pastry shop. by il_schmucko7-25-03 WHAT?! I'm sorry, ma'am. Your order will be just another minute. It's okay. Some day my blintz will come.
Contest 199e by il_schmucko7-25-03 One day on Titanic Airlines... Everyone stay calm! I have hijacked this airplane in the name of the Albino Liberation Front. Say, buddy. Could you get a stewardess for me? I ordered my MGD, like, an hour ago. I didn't mean that calm. Did you know your terrorist organization's initials spell ALF? Seems kinda gay.
Contest 199f by il_schmucko7-25-03 What's up, Holly? Oi! I am so stoked! My first package from the amphetamine of the month club should be coming today!