All comics by lulz

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by lulz
8-26-09
Paging Dr. Shima, Dr. Shima, please call extension 275.
Hello, kids, I'm Dr. Cullen, see, my nametag even says so!
You are not Dr. Cullen! You are not young, you're gray and balding.
Gimme a break, kid, we're trying to milk you fans while this fad lasts.

 

by lulz
12-01-09
Okay, one jumbo bucket of popcorn. Would you like the Team Edward or Team Jacob container?
I don't care, I'm not watching New Moon, I'm here for another movie.
There's no need to be embarrassed, sir, you can have a Team Bella bucket if you can't decide.
I don't care, just get me a bucket, I don't care about that stupid movie.
Would you like sparkles, I mean, butter, on your popcorn, sir?
AUGH! Nevermind!

 

by lulz
12-02-09
Somewhere in the home of Stephenie Meyer...
The only bad thing about being the writer of the Twilight saga...
...is that the fans only come out at night. Eesh.
Stephenie! Open the window! We want you to write more Edward!

 

And now, a scene from The Little Mermaid.
Le poissons le poissons, hee hee hee, hoh hoh hoh...
ULP!
by lulz, 12-05-09

 

by lulz
1-19-11
I've decided to take up cross-country skiing.
A word of advice...
...Yes?
Hooboy...
Start with a small country.

 

by lulz
1-19-11
Sorry, we haven't had any for a while, and I doubt we'll be getting it soon.
Oh, okay.
Jeffrey! Don't ever tell a customer we're out of something! Tell them 'We'll get some next week.' If you do that again I'll write you up.
What did she want, anyway?
Rain.

 

by lulz
1-19-11
Mrs. Field would call her cat, Figaro, in each night.
Figaro! Figaro Figaro Figaro! FIIIIGAAAROOO!
Mew?
Her son, Steven Field, invited a new friend over after school one day.
Yeah, we live in the yellow house on the corner.
Moms just aren't cool.
...
Isn't that where that crazy lady sings opera on her porch every night?

 

by lulz
1-19-11
Hmm..
It's not a hydrant, but it'll do nicely.
My wires are frayed. Ever hear of the third rail?
Phooey.

 

by lulz
1-23-11
Oh my God. Frank, you can't wear that here.
Why? I'm playing Gandalf the White today. This is the only white robe I have.
We're not even to that part of the story! Get back into your gray suit.
*sighs* Fine, fine...
wtf is that?
I've decided to be Gandalf the Blue... 's Brother.

 

by lulz
1-23-11
I am a level 6 human knight! My strength is +3 and I obliterate all in my path!
I am a level 5 gnome druid. My bark is as bad as my bite, heh, hehehe.
I am a level 7 dwarf barbarian. I plow through walls cuz my intelligence isn't high enough to use the door.
I am a level 1 bunny.
Uhh, who let this guy in here?
I hop softly and carry a moderately sized axe.

 

by lulz
1-23-11
Hey, can I join?
Holy crap, guys, it's a girl!
A girl? FORSOOTH!
Arrr, a female. Th' horns in me helmet are getting bigger by the moment.
"What's her willpower?"
What's their problem?
Are those natural 20s?

 

by lulz
1-23-11
Night settles across the land, and our adventurers prepare camp for the night.
M'lady! Please allow me the privilege of sharing my tent this eve.
Nein! You will rest in my bedroll tonight, wench!
Wouldn't you rather sleep safely, surrounded by my alarm spell?
No! I shall stand watch over you all night, my superior ranger eyesight gazing over your supple for--I mean, sleeping form!
You guys are weird.
I'm the GM. You're sleeping with me, toots.

 

by lulz
1-23-11
And now, our adventurers come across an evil beast.
I send my falcon over to investigate what it is.
No! I'm sending my raven familiar, he is swifter and has better stats.
Okay. Both birds are sent, clunk into each other, and fail to gather any information whatsoever.
No fair!
That was just... fowl.

 

by lulz
1-23-11
I'd like to make a spot check.
I'd like to roll for a sneak attack.
You both fail. Got anything else?
I cast magic missile!
Hahaha! This is great! Thanks for letting me play, guys!

 

by lulz
1-23-11
The monster vanquished, the victorious adventurers search the body for treasure and loot.
Cool! I'm rolling for the spleen!
You can go now, Bob. Thanks for helping out.
But... but you said if I helped out with this, you'd let me play.
A little later...
Has anyone seen the GM?
Nope, no idea.

 

by lulz
1-23-11
My minions--I mean, my adventurers, we have a new player. This is Joe.
Why are you guys dressed up?
Why aren't you? I told you to bring accessories for your character.
You asked me if I'm a gamer. Here's my controller.
Buffoons, I'm surrounded by buffoons.
You said this was live action. Aren't you going to prance around in front of me as if I'm watching TV?

 

by lulz
1-23-11
What the hell are you supposed to be?
I'm a half-elf bard.
What's with the blue skin?
My character was once drowned underwater.
I see.
I was resurrected by a low-level paladin who almost failed his roll. The GM thought it'd be funny to require me to have blue skin.

 

by lulz
1-23-11
OMG WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER ONLINE FOR MONTHS, CAN WE MEET SOMETIME?
I don't know. Are you as loud in person as you are online?
DON'T BE SILLY THERE'S NO CAPSLOCK IN REAL LIFE!
Oh, all right.
HI IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO MEET YOU LET'S GO OUT FOR COFFEE THOSE FLOWERS ARE BEAUTIFUL! OH MAH GAAAAAAD!
Erm...

 

by lulz
1-25-11
Yes, I'm at the scene. Officials estimate damage in the thousands. I have a witness who saw everything.
So, sir, what can you tell us about what happened at this house?
Due to technical difficulties, we just lost Harold. And now, weather. Anita?

 

by lulz
1-25-11
Paul and Jessica Atreides escape into the sands of Dune, and spend unhealthy quality time together.
Oh geez, mom, put some clothes on, you're a MILF as it is.
I was airing out my stillsuit.
Later, Jessica laments over her Abominable Daughter.
My poor daughter, brought to consciousness when I took the water of life...
Yeah, man, it was trippy. The colors, the colors!
And still later, Alia speaks to the evil and portly Baron.
Hello, Grandfather, feel the sting of the Atreides gom jabbar!
Shaddup, kid, I'm enjoying this sandwich. OM NOM NOM...

 

by lulz
1-28-11
GM: You arrive in a garden, with a gazebo in it. You--
What color is the gazebo? How far away? How big is it?
I use my sword to detect good on it.
It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
Geez, Eric, don't you know what a gazebo is??
Fire would hurt it? I don't have fire spells. I run away.
Too late, the gazebo has awoken, it catches you and eats you.

 

by lulz
1-28-11
Shoot! I missed! Augh, I told them I was only litter trained. But there's no box. Ah well, since I'm here...
BAD Fluffers, BAD!

 

by lulz
2-27-11
Mom, I'm gonna go take the trash out.
You're such a good kid. Thank you, son.
Two hours later...
It doesn't take that long to find the dumpster... Where'd he go?
So, are you the sort of trash who wears a drawstring?
I smell like poo.

 

by lulz
2-27-11
Can you help me find something?
It's my third day here. I can't promise anything. What do you need?
It's round, and flat, and has stuff in it.
*guessing wildly* A.. fruit... roll-up?
Yeah, that's it! It's made of berries, and stuff!
Sure, right this way. (Oye vey...)

 

by lulz
2-28-11
Excuse me, but do you sell organic water?
Excuse me?
Okay, how about diet water?
Get out of my store.

 

by lulz
3-11-11
A horrific series of strong earthquakes and tsunamis swept through northern Japan today.
Millions of ninjas were swept away in the tides.
Of course, being ninjas, no bodies are expected to be found. And now, for weather. Carol?

 

Nice cock!
Huh.
by lulz, 3-13-11

 

by lulz
3-14-11
When we're done with your pizza, we'll call your name. What is the name of your party?
Donner.
I bet no one's ever used that name, huh. It's really funny, isn't it?
Really, Frank? That's the sixth one today.
That is indeed original and hysterical, sir.

 

That's a hell of a moustache, Jim.
by lulz, 4-05-11

 

by lulz
4-24-11
Pleeeaaaase? Pleasepleaseplease?
Oh, all right.
Brraaaains.
Hehehehe.

 

by lulz
6-05-11
Dr. Jack Kevorkian passed away a couple of days ago.
Officials assure us that no assistance was used in his death.

 

by lulz
6-12-11
What?
So, you come here often?
No, I go. Like now.

 

by lulz
2-19-12
If Kenobi met Gandalf...
You shall not pass.
*waves hand* I shall pass.
You shall pass.

 

by lulz
2-19-12
Your hairpiece is falling.
I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

by lulz
9-15-12
My roommate is watching a Joss Whedon TV series on Netflix in the other room. I can hear it clearly from in here.
UNGH! UHH!
Now I can't help but think, based on what I hear, that each episode must have a girl grunting and screaming as if she's having the world's most amazing orgasm, regardless of what's going on.
*screams*

 

by lulz
7-12-14
Whatcha doin'?
A friend told me about this free Star Wars game. I'm making my first character.
A skinny Twi'lek girl, huh?
Well, I certainly don't want to look at a guy's butt while I'm playing.

 

by lulz
7-12-14
My friend sent me a set of adaptive armor for my Twi'lek. I wonder how it looks on her.
Um... I didn't know that body type #3 was going to be quite that stocky...

 

by lulz
7-13-14
And so, my scantily clad Twi'lek Jedi Consular goes out on her first mission.
When suddenly another noob appears...
'Tis I, a Jedi Knight! I should like to join you in your questing!
Iiiiii don't think so. *denies group request*
If you don't want to do missions with me, that's cool. Wanna cyber?
I haven't even been logged for five minutes and it's already started. Why did I choose a female character again?

 

by lulz
7-13-14
Tython is a boring planet so far.
Hey, you! I decided to play too!
No! Take your Cathar and go elsewhere!
This looks like a fun game. Why does your character look so butch? And why is she wearing that skimpy outfit?
It would take too long to explain.
I wonder about you sometimes.

 

by lulz
7-13-14
Who's that?
My Jedi Master.
I feel faint...
What's her deal?
She's ill. I think the lizard guy infected her with something.
*thud*

 

by lulz
7-13-14
I have to talk to you.
Yes, Qyzen, you may speak.
...Yes?
I have to talk to you.
Hmm, this companion conversation thing seems broken.

Showing page 3.

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