All comics by papadust

Profile

 

by papadust
10-07-05
So this morning, I had a lot of thoughts about what I've been doing
Its normal to never want to drink again the next morning
No, I mean religiously. It might wear off, but I dont know
Oh
If Im gonna start being religious, I probably should say Im Jesus anymore
Fag

 

by papadust
10-09-05
Thats Giambi
I did steroids
Thats ok
Thats Palmeiro
I didnt mean to do steroids
Youre a fucking lying faggot
I won the comeback player of the year!
Good for you!

 

by papadust
1-12-06
Apparently theres no more ninja
Lets get pizza
Yea
After it arrives
Uhh...
What?
Did you order a half cheese, half nothing but tomato sauce?
No, why?

 

by papadust
3-19-06
So you're interested in joining the Navy?
Yes sir
Call me Chief. Also notice I'm a Chinese immigrant with a Brooklyn accent.
So why should I join the Navy instead of the Marines?
Damn good recruiting
Mad bitches bro.

 

by papadust
3-19-06
So if anyone at MEPS asks about your medical history, lie about anything that's ever happened to you
Ok
Ever broken any bones? Ever smoked marijuana? Any surgeries?
No sir
Did your recruiter tell you to lie to me?
No sir

 

by papadust
3-19-06
Check this to make sure everything is correct
Yes sir
Then take your clothes off. I need to feel your balls and look up your ass
Uh...Ok
5 years ago
In other news, A serial killer pretending to be a docter killed five people with a hacksaw today

 

by papadust
3-19-06
So what are you going to do?
MP. How about you?
Nuclear power.
Shit, what didja get on the asvab?
98. You?
12. HOOAH!

 

by papadust
3-19-06
Hey, Im your new recruiter.
Hi.
You ever been blown by two chicks at once?
No, why?
You will. It kicks ass
Nice to meet you too

 

by papadust
3-19-06
So in Thailand they got this game called Knights of the Round Table,
Everyone sits at a round table with their hands folded,
And everyone tries to guess who's getting the blowjob by the whore under the table
Sounds pimp

 

by papadust
3-19-06
So I met his one girl at a bar in Thailand
Ok
She told me she could shoot a ping pong ball 15 feet from her vagina
No fucking way
Words to live by
She did, and bought her a bunch of drinks and fucked her
Well you can't meet a girl who can shoot a ping pong ball 15 feet from her vagina and not fuck her

 

by papadust
3-19-06
I'm wearing a Navy hat
Akward

 

Dont see Game 6. Trust me
Also don't do drugs
FUCKING SPIDERS MAN! THEYRE COMING THROUGH THE WALLS!
by papadust, 3-29-06

 

by papadust
3-29-06
Lets see whats on UPN
Next, on Veronica Mars,
Ominus narrator voice
It's all fun and games until someone gets raped.
What?
Now back to black people in sitcoms

 

by papadust
3-30-06
(Top right corner)
Look at the top rated comics here. Most totally blow. What the fuck?
I dont want to sound like a douchebag, but a lot of mine are better. At least the older ones when I actually cared about making good comics
Tell me what you think. IM me (wenchilater for those who don't know)
If anyone actually reads these, give me some feedback. Good, bad, I dont care. Just let me know I'm not doing these for no reason. For people who are bored, heres the cat guy.
I got a cat! Yay!

 

by papadust
4-06-06
Lets make a movie about a guy going to Annapolis
OK
Halfway through making the movie
Oh shit! We forgot a plot!
How about something emphasizing the courage and sacrifice people make while serving in the military?
No, I was thinking something like 'dont fuck with black marines'
Brilliant!

 

by papadust
4-09-06
Inspired by the movie Snakes on a Plane, Im naming these comics Snakes on a Comic even though it has nothing to do with snakes
Question
What?
What if the movie actually turns out to be good?
That would be a good question if the movie wasnt called fucking SNAKES ON A PLANE
Ok

 

For those of you unaware of what Snakes on a Plane is, go to http://www.worstpreviews.com/review.php?id=21&source=imdb1. All you really need to know is that it stars Samuel Jackson
by papadust, 4-09-06

 

by papadust
4-10-06
Hey
Hey, what've you been doing lately?
Real question
Fixing my house up, you know, painting things and shit like that
So you've been painting fingernails?
Note for the slow-No I haven't
Yes, I've been painting fingernails
Oh shit! Snakes!

 

by papadust
4-13-06
We should make a new show about something kickass and completly miss the point.
How about Delta Force? Delta is pimp.
I dont know, its going to be hard to ruin something as cool as Delta Force.
Well, the easiest thing to do would be to have it not involve Delta Force in any way.
Exception-the new guys wife is sorta hot
Good idea! Lets make it about women hanging around a base all day while their husbands are gone.
While were at it, lets make sure the women are unattractive.

 

by papadust
4-15-06
And today President Bush responds to Scooter Libby's claim that he authorized the leak of classified intelligence
Yes I did
Actual quote
And now a spokeswoman for the Democratic party responds
Well instead of a Commander-in-Chief we have a Leaker-in-Chief lolz!

 

by papadust
4-25-06
Guy on my right-"I SURE HAVE TUERETTES!"
I'm Eva Longoria. Half the movie is close up shots of my fine ass
I'm Jack Bauer, and all I do is say random ass codewords
Guy on my right-"Mumble mumble mumble"
I'm Michael Douglass and I get framed for no apparent reason. I'm also fucking the first lady.
I'm such a milf
Guy on my right-"I'M GOING TO PISS FOR THE THIRD TIME!"
I am so hot
Gun! Move classic to point bravo zulo and close perimiter! Romeo echo charlie! Secure cincinatti at whiskey tango! X-ray yankee november!

 

by papadust
8-06-06
You will give me all your effort. All you need is determination, military bearing and attention to detail and you'll make it. You will sweat, you will hurt, but you'll make it.
Chief! I can't means I wont try Chief!
Eight counts. Begin.

 

by papadust
8-06-06
Actual question
I am Lt. Dorantes, your Group Commander. There are very strict rules about liberty weekend. Blah blah, dont do dumb shit. Any questions?
Um yes Sir my question is... What is the policy on prostitution?
Any real questions?
Wait a sec. We can't go out and pimp bitches?

 

by papadust
6-22-08
I haven't thought about these for years but i might make some more of these. Here's some new characters
Nrr, the radars are not cromulating with SWAN external output when the exponential factor is 12 divided by 4! Were doomed!
YAARRR! Stash the loot in Davey Jones' locker laddies!
RAR IM A BOATSWAINS MATE AND MY NAMES JEFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoa dude im in the navy, man. Far out.
This can only end well

 

by papadust
7-27-08
Were a bunch of midshipmen and we're lost. Can you help?
Why did I get married?

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