All comics by christopher7murphy

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I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!
Chugga-chugga! Chugga-chugga!
WOOOOO! WOOOOO!
Wow...I'm glad that wasn't my boob.

 

OHHHH, Nooooo! It Godzirra! Ahhhh!
Rook out! Godzirra gonna smash us all! Run for your rife! Run for your rife!
Damit, Griffin! I know being the Invisible Man has made you nuts, but you're just being a racist now!

 

I need a copy of "When a Maggot Larvaes a Woman," by BudSpeck.
I have one across the store...I'll get it for you.
Just throw it here. Toss it! Toss it!
Hey, I think your fly is open.

 

Mmya. Did you get the memo?
Yea. I read the memo, I just forgot. It won't happen again.
Mmya-ya. I'll go get you another memo.
No. No need. I have the memo. It won't happen again.
Mmmya. I'll go get a memo and bring it to you. Alright then.
Ya know, you can't come into my cubicle unless I invite ya, Bill.

 

Do you see that tastey little morsel over there?
"O"
"O"
I just gave her my "O" face! Blah!
You're scarin' me, Bill.... Really scarin' me.

 

Bling!
?
Bling! Bling! Bling! Bling! Bling! Bling!
What the frick are you doing?
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Did he 'bling' me seven times... or was it eight?"

 

Bling! Bling! Bling! Bling! Bling!
You mean "Flair."
?
In the movie, "Office Space," the joke was the gal needed more FLAIR.
Bling!
Oh...I BLUNG IT BEE-OTCH!

 

I love the Two Stooges!
"Two Stooges?"
Yea! You know... Moe and Curly.
You forgot Larry.
I don't THINK......FINE.

 

It's Halloween, Dad. There's a trick-or-treater at the door....and BOY, Is he scary looking!
Well, why don't you answer it?
But you should see his costume. It's the scariest one ever!
Okay..I'll get the little monster.
Trick or Treat!
Jesus...You're gonna pay for this!

 

So it would appear that your one kidney has been replaced by a baked potato.
However, there does not seem to be any adverse side effects.
What! No butter?

 
I JUST HAD MY NIPPLE PIERCED!
Ow.

 

Hatrix's boobies came to me in a dream last night.
I tried not to stare. So I secretly recorded this video: ENJOY!
Arrggg! How bout a little dittie?
Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like it when I'm angry!

 

When invited to a fancy dinner party, it's considered bad manner to complain about what the host serves you.
Just quiety disregard the item or eat it anyway and let the chips fall where they may.
Pickles make me fart.
You and me both, honey.

 

Mr. Johnson, I'm afraid there was a mix up during your surgery.
We accidently replaced your kidney with a common ordinary potato.
P-p-potato? Then...then..What happened to my kidney?
A Waffle House in Macon:
MMMM! Potato pancakes. My fave!

 

I have a complaint!
That other clerk was very rude to me just now!
But sir... I'm the only one working today.
Then whose that jerk over there?
Sir... That's a reflection in the window.

 

I heard you went on a blind date with Anne "Half-Baked" Potato. Did she pull the ol' kidney-switch on ya?
Bichiz' CRAZY! I woke up in a tubba ice with my kidney replaced with a BAKED POTATO!
Yep. That's Anne for you! She's a hot one!
Thank gawd it wasn't her sister, Julienne "Style-Cut" Potato.

 

Hey, sweetie! What book do you wan't? A "wabbit book?"
Waa-pa!
"Where's Waldo?" "Wizard of OZ?" "Wally's Wonderful World of Potatos?"
Waa-pa ba ta-ta!
"Winky, Blinky & Nod: The missing Cousin?"
"WAR & PEACE" by TOLSTOY!

 

Do you have a Black Section?
We have an African American Section.
No.... The book I need is by Richard BLACK.
Ooops

 

Mr. McCain, Sarah Palin is on the line for you.
-sigh- Tell her..tell her I'm not...never mind...I'll tell her myself.
Sarah, hey...it was nice while it lasted.
But...You and I ...well....we just weren't compatable.
Let's face it...we used each other.
-sob- It's because of that Tina Fey thing....isn't it?

 

Draw! You lilly bellied varment! Error: Destroy all humans.
Bwa hahahahah!
Wait. What the fuck are you talking about?

 

Sir, do you have a copy of Michael Crichton's "Jurassic Park?"
Yes. We do.
Your employees are very helpful. Am I allowed to eat them?
No. I'm sorry. There is a "No food & Drink" sign at our front door.
You owe me!
What am I? Just window dressing.

 

Do NOT contact the police! We have taken your wife.....
your new baby, your Grandmother, both your parents, and your dog.
Aquire $10,000 and await further instruction!
P.S. -----------------You are out of milk.

 

HEY, KIDS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
I've gotta take a shit.
(pssst....we're live.)
Oh?
HEY, KIDS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
It's time for me to get new pants!

 

Where's that book that everybody's asking for?
Do you have the title or author?
I don't know...but everybody's asking for it!
Then I sold out.
Why do you have to be so cynical?
You asked for it.

 

v...1...2...3....4....5....6....7....8....9....10..^
Near.
Fart.
v...1...2...3....4....5....6....7....8....9....10..^
Near.
Fart.
v...1...2...3....4....5....6....7....8....9....10..^
JUST PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON!
Fart.

 

Do you sell Monopoly Games here?
Yes we do have a small selection of games here.
Great...I'll take two.
TWO sets of Monopoly Games?
No...just the little shoes.

 

...and then....Wait! ....Can you read that? "There's a MONSTER at the end of this strip!!!!"
Ohh....That? Don't worry...it all ends well.
But there's...a... MONSTER..at the ....END of this strip!
And I say it all ends well. You're gonna feel so silly! You'll see.
Hey...We're at the end of the strip... and all IS well. WE are the monsters at the end of the strip. Now what?
Now.... I'm pulling out my dick.

 

Which book is better? "The Diet Phone: Dialing it in" or "Broccoli and Cheddar: You'll Never Look Better?"
Well..."The Diet Phone" sells better.
Okay...But which book IS better?
ummm....I guess you should get "The Diet Phone."
Are you saying I'm fat?
Crap

 

So...um..are we done?
I've gotta get going. Important meeting.
..and corporate will..?
OHGAWD! YES! YES! YESSSS! Ahhhhhhh!
Well...you're home early?
Ohhh, Geeze! I'm sorry...that has never happened to me before.

 

Shave and a hair cut!
-SNAP-
To bits!

 

Just a heads up- Brad at Stripcreator is planning on banning everyone on the site.
Well...it is HIS site...and his Birthday.
I've agreed to spend the weekend with him in exchange for more time on this wonderful site.
SEETHING! I am so jealous! That Brad is so lucky!
S'up?
You do realize I'm a 42 year old man with severe personality disorders...dontcha?

 

You Bookee Store, Aintchaaa?
WHEEEEEE! Ha ha ha ha!
Hey, you! Get outta here!
Fleeee! Hee heee hee heee!
Damn kids and thier hip hop music!

 

Sir? Excuse me... You can not build a fort in here.
I am King ARTHUR! This book store is mine!
Okay.
All the bookshelves in all the land are ruled by me!
Hark! Does my olfactory glands deceive me? Is that coffee I smell?

 

Why did you build a fort in the middle of the book store?
I am ARTHUR! Master of all things book store.
I judge all those worthy of reading.
But why is there a fort in the middle of the book store?
You mean...why is there a book store in my yard?

 

I need a copy of "New Moon" by Stephanie Meyer.
NO! That is a stupid book. You are not allowed to read it.
How dare you!
I dare because I am the master of all things book store!
I have half a mind to rip that fort down !
Complaint noted! But I warn you, I am not wearing pants.

 

Hello. I am Farmer Brown.
Hello, Farmer Brown.
Last year, I yielded 40 acres of the finest bushells you've ever seen.
And I'm addicted to internet corn.

 

Bill, I've decided not to marry you. I want to marry Lance instead.
-gasp- Is it...is it because I'm dead?
No.
He went to Jared.

 

There are about thirty books in the series and kids seem to love them.
Oh...I don't know. My grandson is only 7 years old.
Maybe you're right. This series is meant for more ADVANCED readers.
Well....little Tommy is so much smarter than average. I'll take the whole set!
You disgust me! But strangely, I need you at the same time.
I am a Book Selling God!

 

I'm looking for a book.
Really?
Yes. It can be about space and robots, or flying humans, even alien cultures.
Do you mean a "sci-fi" book.
You lost me.
Let's go look in the "Forrest."

 

I remember my days in England as a lad.
My Nana would powder me bum ever so gently.
She use to tell me she was just looking for 'prints.'
Prince 'Who?' I asked.
SLAM!
So long ....and thanks for the kippers, Mr. "J."

 

TEST!
Test?
Positive!
Shit!

 

Test.
Test?
This was a test and only a test. Had this been an actuall emergency, you would have been screwed.

 

Bettie Page was the rage in 1953.
She stripped and teased and photographed with her dress above the knee.
Later in life she became the wife of total obscurity.
Through no fault of her own, a cult was born... and became desired at age 73.
And at the age of 85, she is no longer among the alive. Yet remains blessed with immortality.
We raise our flags and offer rigid salute to her corpus semi-nudity.

 

Test.
Test?
TEST!
PASS!

 

Do you have any cookbooks by Rocco 9sshhsh&kqq?
ummm...Could you spell that?
He's a celebrity chef!
Okay...but could you spell that for me?
Just call someone....I need it right away!
With my luck, this strip will be continued!

 

Sir...could you mean Rocco DiSpirito? Chef and 'Dancing with the Stars' reject?
That's what I said, Rocco 9sshhsh&kqq!
We don't have any of his books in stock. Can I order it for you?
Can I have it by tomorrow?
No.
Lady, do I have to continue this strip?

 

This 9sshhsh&kqq guy is a celebrity for god's sake! Why don't you carry his books?
DiSpirito.
Excuse me?
The guy you're talking about. His name is DiSpirito. You keep 'slishing' his last name.
Well....Do you have HIS book then?
No.

 

I have ordered a copy of Rocco DiSpirito's cookbook for you.
Hmmf!
It will be here in a week to ten days.
Hmmf!
Are the recipes in it any good?

 

I don't suppose you could get the book I ordered any faster if you called another Book Store?
No sir. I don't know which book stores would have that book and which would not.
You could call and ask.
I could.
Do you have any cookbooks by Rocco DiSpirito?
Do you mean Rocco 9sshhsh&kqq?

 

Well sir...I've called every book store in the country and none of them have any cookbooks by Rocco DiSprito.
Okay...but please call me when my order comes in.
Yes sir...I'll be glad to.
"Rocco 9sshhsh&kqq," PLEASE!
Yes?

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