All comics by ObiJo

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by ObiJo
1-07-04
sucky sucky five dollah!
RARRRR!!!!!!!
suck
All your base!
I wanna go home!
The biscuit game, you say?

 

by ObiJo
1-08-04
____________________|____________________

 

by ObiJo
1-09-04
I wonder why this is called a postmodern comic.
I don't know. I never really understood what postmodern means.
I think it's kind of like "having the emphasis on appearance" or "being once removed from reality."
Well, that certainly doesn't apply here. How are we possibly removed from reality?

 

by ObiJo
1-09-04
The Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix Revolutions

 

by ObiJo
1-09-04
This is some good pot.
Woof.

 

by ObiJo
1-09-04

 

by ObiJo
1-09-04

 

by ObiJo
1-10-04
Unlike most people, I think we're evolving towards a more emotional state, but without all the selfishness.
I wish you had emotions, Real Doll.

 

by ObiJo
1-10-04

 

by ObiJo
1-10-04
I'm good at writing comics but terrible at reading them.
So if you're not on my favorites list, realize that's because I have the attention span of a gnat, not because I don't like your stuff.
Now kiss me.

 

by ObiJo
1-10-04
Dad, you remember how you didn't do chemotherapy despite it giving you an 80% chance to live?
Well I just want to say that
Yes, I remember.
HOLY SHIT!!
I also remember that coroner you hired who worked out of the back of his van.

 

by ObiJo
1-10-04
Boy, that guy swims fast.
No, he swims poop.
What?
I'm using poop as an adverb.
I'm quickly tiring of your company.
I'm poop tiring of YOUR company.

 

by ObiJo
1-12-04
No.
But why?
I just told you why.
But what do sheep have to do with anything?
I think you know.
Yes, I suppose I do.

 

by ObiJo
1-12-04
A B C D E F G H... um...
A B C D E F G H... um... What comes after H?
A-HA! It is I!
No you're not! You're a T!

 

by ObiJo
1-12-04
A B C D E F G... um...
A B C D E F G... errr...
J?
Look, could you move this along? Believe it or not, the other letters and I do have more to do than wallow in your stupidity.

 

by ObiJo
1-13-04
What can I get you sir?
I’ve got very special dietary requirements and i'm not really sure if I can eat here.
Well we do try to have something on the menu for everyone, and our chef can make up absolutely anything you could want.
Well in that case maybe I will have something.
So what did you get?
Dysentery.

 

by ObiJo
1-14-04
I'm rich with cock!
Aren't we all.
I mean, "Oh?"

 

by ObiJo
1-15-04
Jen and Ben are just the cutest couple EVER!
Oh god, not you too. I can't believe how celebrity-obsessed America is. It's ridiculous.
OH NO!! Corbin Bernsen's leaving!
You have the nerve to watch Celebrity Mole right in front of me after giving that little speech?
Honey, Corbin Bernsen's larger than any one ideology.

 

by ObiJo
1-15-04
Karen, what time did you get in last night? I waited up till 2am, but you still weren't home.
Why you always gotta be hounding my ass?
Karen, dear, this was the last straw. Your mother and I have decided to enroll you in finishing school.
You see! This is the kind of shit I'm talking about!
6 months later...
KAREN! You've only been home a week and your room is this messy??
Hark! Here we have the feces of which I was speaking!

 

by ObiJo
1-16-04
Correctly
Incorrectly

 

by ObiJo
1-17-04
I just got back from a job interview that didn't go so well.
You didn't set someone on fire again, did you?

 

by ObiJo
1-17-04

 

by ObiJo
1-17-04
Sometimes I masturbate to Big Bird.
Sometimes on him.
Call the police!

 

by ObiJo
1-18-04
My goal in life is to hit 1825 comics. Then if someone were to read one of my comics a day, 365 days a year, it would take them 5 years to finish my collection.
What about leap year?
My goal in life is to hit 1826 comics.
You know, in a 5-year period, leap year could occur twice.
My goal in life is to hit 1827 comics.
And, you know...

 

by ObiJo
1-19-04
My GOD, that was the best show ever.
Yeah, I can't believe they ended up detroying the whole city afterwards.
Well, it's been a trademark of theirs.
So, now that it's over, what you wanna do?
Well, since they already de-troyed the city, what say we de-steve and de-leon it?
I'll grab my Easton!

 

by ObiJo
1-21-04
DING DING
Listen, daddy! Teacher says everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!
DING DING
Oh no!
Party time, big boy!

 

by ObiJo
1-21-04
Ouch.
It's for your own good.
All I said was "This sentence is false."
It's that kind of thinking that's had your Uncle Joe chasing his tail the last 20 years.
Uncle Joe doesn't have a tail.
Trying telling Uncle Joe that.

 

by ObiJo
1-22-04
Do you like Joe?
I Joe Joe.
What?
Different people have different vibes. When I'm around Joe, I feel his vibe. I feel what he's all about. So I don't like Joe or dislike Joe, I Joe Joe.
Do you like me?
No.

 

by ObiJo
1-22-04
Do you like Joe?
I Joe Joe.
What?
Different people have different vibes. When I'm around Joe, I feel his vibe. I feel what he's all about. So I don't like Joe or dislike Joe, I Joe Joe.
Do you like me?
Not as much as Joe.

 

by ObiJo
1-22-04
Ronald?
Yes?
You just kicked me in the balls.
Yes.
Why did you just kick me in the balls?
Because I am Ronald.

 

by ObiJo
1-22-04
obijo, please try to stay on topic, would you?
Fuck that! If I was the type of guy who stayed on topic, I wouldn't be making comics at work in the first place!
And I sure as shit wouldn't be making them on my boss's computer just for the cheap thrill of possibly getting caught!
And I SUPER SURE as shit wouldn't be fucking his wife! Or his daughter! Or making them fuck each other while I rough up his son!

 

by ObiJo
1-24-04

 

by ObiJo
1-25-04
Some people see the glass as half empty. Some as half full. So I've put some water in a glass and will now look at it to determine which I am.
Someone has stolen my glass.

 

by ObiJo
1-25-04
Hey, Bill.
Hiya, Bill!
Having a breakdown has such a different connotation for robots.
Bill, I found you! I know I'm supposed to marry Peter tomorrow, but if you tell me right now that you still love me, I'll call it off!

 

by ObiJo
1-25-04
Hey, do you wanna come over and make snickerdoodles with me?
Sure! I'll be right over!
I can't believe you snickered.
It's like a itty bitty baby's doodle!

 

by ObiJo
1-25-04
Hey, do you wanna come over and make snickerdoodles with me?
Sure! I'll be right over!
I was euphemizing.
Just picked up on that.

 

by ObiJo
1-25-04
Hey, do you wanna come over and make snickerdoodles with me?
Sure! I'll be right over!
I did it all for the nookie.
Just grab the pliers!

 

by ObiJo
1-26-04
For my last meal I'd like roast beef and mashed potatoes.
How about toilet water and warden dick?
So that's where your dog went!
You know, nana, if you tenderized the meat a bit more, I bet grandad would still be alive and you wouldn't be losing the house.

 

by ObiJo
1-28-04
Are you enjoying your cupcake?
I'm very much enjoying my cupcake.
Are you enjoying the frosting?
I'm very much enjoying the frosting.
I buried your mother alive.
I'm very much enjoying the sprinkles. Wait... what?

 

by ObiJo
1-30-04
Honey, you really need to lose a little weight.
Why are you always doing that? I want you to love me for what's on the inside, not what's on the outside.
Your fat IS on the inside.
Hey wait a minute!
What's THIS doing in my hand?

 

by ObiJo
1-30-04
Morpheus!
Yes, Sarah, it is I.
Does this mean I am the one?!
No, Sarah, but you are the two.
The two? What does the two do?
She gets me a Whopper and a Sprite.

 

by ObiJo
1-31-04
GALLOP GALLOP
GALLOP GALLOP
DING DONG
Fuck.

 

by ObiJo
1-31-04
Oops, sorry. Thought this was the steam room.

 

by ObiJo
1-31-04

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Maura, I think it's over between us.
K, see ya.
God that was messy.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Now that Maura's gone, let's see what's on the tube.
And now back to our 24-hour marathon of Full House.
TV, I think it's over between us.
K, see ya.
Try to carry on, little guy.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
*Crackle*
House fire, I think it's over between us.
*Crackle Crackle*
And a crackle crackle to you too, goodly sir.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Weapons of Mass Destruction, I think it's over between us.
It never gets any easier.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!
Santa, I think it's over between us.
Don't look back, Santa.
Don't ever look back.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
And you go with him.

Showing page 33.

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