All comics by ObiJo

Profile

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Nana, I think it's over betwen you and me and that triceratops you're always dollying around.
I'll miss the sound of their lovemaking.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Hammerhead Shark, I think it's over between us.
Don't look back, Hammerhead Shark.
You don't want to be like Santa.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
DO NOT MOVE, WEAKLING HUMAN! YOU ARE MY QUARRY!
Alien abductor, I think it's over between us.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Noah, I think it\'s over between us.

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Alzheimer's Al, I think it's over between us.
How ya been!

 

by ObiJo
2-03-04
Skin, I think it's over between us.
*CLUNK*

 

by ObiJo
2-04-04
Good evening, members of the press corps. I'm afraid I only have time to answer one question tonight.
And that answer is no.
No to what, Mr. President?
Thanks and good night.

 

by ObiJo
2-05-04
Dialogue Balloon, I think it's over between us.
Dialogue Balloon, I think it's over between us.

 

by ObiJo
2-05-04
Hey! There's that tit that stole our spaces!
Come here for a second. We'd like to talk to you.
Uh-oh.

 

by ObiJo
2-06-04
Freddy, my man, let me ask you - how you get so much pussy?
Well, it's like they say T-bone - you either got it or you don't.
C'mon, Freddy, don't be talking that shit - tell me your secret.
Here's my secret...
*WAPSH*
You bitchslapped me!
And if you ever take that tone with me again, I'll bitchslap you unconscious!

 

by ObiJo
2-11-04
I'm reading my first COMIC BOOK right now.
How's it GOING?
It's GOING GOOD, I'm just THROWN OFF by the RANDOM EMPHASIS of words.
I think IN TIME you'll get USED TO IT.
Hopefully. I like the VISUAL ASPECT of COMIC BOOKS so much that I HOPE to make them a STAPLE of my READING.
MAYBE I SHOULD DO THAT too.

 

by ObiJo
2-11-04
Howdy do, Noah!
Howdy do, Penguin!
Howdy do, Noah!
Howdy do, Cow!
Fuck you in the earhole, Noah! Fuck you right dab in the earhole!

 

by ObiJo
2-11-04

 

by ObiJo
2-11-04
Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor.
Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself.
Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights?
My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins.
So what did he say?
Fuck if I remember. I wheeled him into the catbox then went off to diddle Mr. Mittens.

 

by ObiJo
2-12-04
Are you sure you didn't used to be a man?
How much do I owe you?
Like father, like son.

 

by ObiJo
2-13-04
It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker
Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged.
I can't wait.
Opening page www.hoover.com ...

 

by ObiJo
2-13-04
It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker
Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged.
I can't wait.
You don't have to! It's printing out now!
My perfect date is a picture of Erik Estrada questioning my manhood?

 

by ObiJo
2-16-04
tot de volgende keer, FIJ natuurmonumenten
Haha! tot de volgende keer, FIJ natuurmonumenten!
HAHA! FIJ!

 

by ObiJo
2-18-04
2 years ago...
*We have detected your hacked internet account and have deleted it*
I can fix this.
1 year ago...
*We have detected your hacked internet account and have deleted it. Should this happen again, we will take appropriate measures.*
I can fix this.
This morning...
We have taken appropriate measures.
I can't fix that.

 

by ObiJo
2-28-04
What are you doing?
I'm peeing on the hooker.
I see that, but why? Aren't there better ways to spend your life?
Later...
What are you doing?

 

by ObiJo
3-17-04
Work the lock, don't look at the dog. Work the lock, don't look at the dog.

 

by ObiJo
9-08-04
Don't eyeball me, boy. I'll slap you so hard, you'll pinch a nerve in your neck, temporarily cutting off the bloodflow to your brain and making you pass out.
I wasn't eyeballing you.
As opposed to a red out, which is when too much blood is forced into your brain. (And which is an especially dangerous risk for jet pilots doing high-g manuevers.)
But I really wasn't.
Now, if you'll turn your attention to the chalkboard, you'll see I've diagrammed the thrust equation for the afterburning process. The main difference between it and the gas-turbine engine is...

 

by ObiJo
9-08-04

 

by ObiJo
9-08-04
EEEeee

 

by ObiJo
9-09-04
There's the stiff, er, victim, sir...dead as a bag full of rocks.
And you say there are no signs of violence on the body?
Not a scratch. But judging from his expression, something unbearably horrible must've happened.
Damn...what could've been bad enough to make him drop dead like that?

 

by ObiJo
9-09-04
Happy Halloween!
Joe, what are you doing?
I dressed up as Mr. Scrumptious!
You know I just quit.
Sure is getting lonely on those smoke breaks -- Mr. Scrumptious to the rescue!
Fine, let's go, but you're co-signing my iron lung.

 

by ObiJo
9-09-04
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

 

by ObiJo
9-10-04
Geez, why do they make the police wear black when it's so hot out?
They have to wear black.
They're the bad guys.

 

by ObiJo
9-10-04
PIE!!!!!!!!!
I saw that.

 

by ObiJo
9-10-04
Truth or Dare?
Truth.
I killed a waitress once using only my bare teeth. It was just outside Sioux City and
Wait, I meant a truth for me.
It wasn't my fault really. She interrupted me. Kind of like you just did.
IT'S NOT YOUR TURN!

 

by ObiJo
9-11-04
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING SLAVES!!!!!!!
HOW LONG YOU THINK IT'S GONNA LAST?!!!!!
HOW LONG YOU GONNA LET EM PUSH YOU AROUND?!!!!!
So, um, paper or plastic?

 

by ObiJo
9-11-04

 

by ObiJo
9-11-04
So, um, paper or plastic?
So, um, paper or plastic?
So, um, paper or plastic?
Plastic.

 

by ObiJo
9-12-04
Well, Cletus, this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
Yer absolutely right...
But before we fight, there's something I wants to tell you...
You was doomed from the start you titular sumbich.

 

by ObiJo
9-12-04
Can a man love another man without being the kind of man who loves other men?
God's watching, you know.
What?
God's looking down on you right now and tsk-tsking your smut mouth.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was
It's okay now. He went back to fucking with the jews. Meet me behind the barn in ten minutes. Be naked.

 

by ObiJo
12-27-04
Ho
Ho
Ho

 

by ObiJo
12-27-04
MUAHAHAHA! I've got you now! I'm going to chew off your knees and floss with your spinal column!
Uhmm...
What?
You're in for tax evasion.
AGGRAVATED tax evasion.

 

by ObiJo
11-21-06
Down by 6, 14 seconds left, here's the snap... it's a Hail Mary! Ball's up... jumping for it...
Incomplete! Leaving me to wonder once again if that longshot play has ever worked!
2000 years earlier...
I know we haven't had sex, Joseph, but it's God's baby.
A MIRACLE!

 

by ObiJo
12-26-06
Hi, I'm here to interview for the Santa's Helper job.
I'm sorry, but that position is now obsolete. We're no longer Santa's Helpers, we're Santa's Minions.
When did this happen?
About a month ago, when Mrs. Claus left Santa for that guy Santa couldn't think of a comeback to.
A month earlier...
Is your cock an innie yet, you tubby fuck?
HoHoHo?

 

by ObiJo
1-22-07
Hello, Michael, my name's Joe. I'm a negotiator for the LAPD. I'm here to try to help us get through this without you or any of the hostages getting hurt. That sound good, Mike? May I call you Mike?
Ok, so that's a no to Mike.

 

by ObiJo
9-28-07
CUBS WIN!
CUBS WIN!
Who these Cubs?
You know! American baseball! Split finger! Knuckler!
EVERYTHING FISTING WITH YOU!

 

by ObiJo
2-21-08
Hey, babe, what's for dinner?
So that's how it is now, huh? No 'How was your day'? No 'I love you.' Just want me to shut up and serve you.
C'mon, Uhura, sweety, don't start. I just walked in the door.
Maybe if you weren't so selfish, maybe if you thought about my needs once in awh...
OH NO HE DI'NT!!

Showing page 34.

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