All comics by Beeko180

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by Beeko180
5-02-09
Over the period of four years I've come to realise one thing that makes everybody unique...
What they resemble in the least convincing manner...
Honey, what do you think of my new hairdo?
I think it makes you resemble a mutated fly...

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
I still can't believe that-
♫ You say it best, when you say nothin' at all ♫
Are you telling me to shut up?
Precisely...

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Captain I'm picking up strange signals, HELP ME!!!! YAAAAAAH!!!!!!
*beep*
He said he'd call back in five minutes...

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Level 3 huh?
Yup.
You don't happen to have multiplayer do you?

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Where do we put the window boss?
Just dump it next to the cooler, and I'll set it up later.
But if we're lucky, all hell might freeze over before I decide to do so. But then there would be the problem of- TO THE THINKING CHAMBER!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
YOU ARE A VERY NAUGHTY WOLF!!!! DON'T YOU EVER EAT A BABY AGAIN!!!
BABY, BABY, BABY!
DON'T MAKE ME SPOON, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M SPOON!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
I'm still wondering if I really should purchase this roller coaster, or if I really shouldn't...
I mean, there's a lot of cons and pros don't you think Ronald?
Ronald???

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Ok, stay calm. I'm sure the bubble gum will work it's way through the roots and alternately we could end up resembling a mutated frog...
LET ME GO MUMMY, LET ME GO!!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Moh!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
RUN FOREST, RUN!
(sniff) I'm so lonely....

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
I went to the dentist a couple days ago...
They said the least likely thing they were going to do was to shove a needle into my gum and start hacking at my teeth with a rusty saw...
They ended up throwing me onto a table and shoving an air-brush into my eye.

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Well we could do it either way, but I'd rather prefer if you were to suddenly drop to the ground and start doing aerobics.

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
So you're just going to sit there all day, making comics?
Well that, and eating Marshmallows by the cup-full...
Mind if I make a list as to the reasons why you're such a pathetic loner?

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
So where do you stand now, Tubby?
Goddamn it, why do I always pick inanimate objects?

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
When I was told that Heaven had an opening, I was quite keen to go for it...
I'll accept that box the day you roll over and take a dump in it! Hahhaha!
Now I'm not so sure...

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Oh Jerred!
What is it my love?
Your friend DIED, I tried to SAVE him, but to all my MISFORTUNE I could not keep him from a MOST PERILOUS DEATH!
THAT SOB TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Oh Jerred! I cannot HIDE it any longer!
What is it my regretted love?
Bobby got SHOT in the HEAD!
Oh my! Well we shall most CERNTAINLY get out the Yellow Pages!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Oh Jerred, there is NOONE else I can TURN to!
What is it my gradually decreasing love?
ZOMBIES are breaking into REDVILLE!
Well let's HOPE TO GOD that you die FIRST!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Oh Jerred!
What is it my hated love?
THEY'RE COMING IN!!!!!!!!
RAAAR!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
JERRED HELP ME, HELP ME!!!!!
DON'T YOU CARE YOU STUPID MORON?!!?!?!
Goodbye.... My love.

 

And this was AFTER he drowned the first one...
by Beeko180, 5-02-09

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Ring Ring!
Who's there?
Phone.
Phone who?
I don't know, stop talking to a phone you douche...

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Yes, um.... I'm here to return your dog.
Uhhh... What didn't it do?
...Well for one, when I fed it cat food it barfed all over my shirt...

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Tell me again, why we have this thing?
Well apparently your orders were to tame an invisible penguin and stuff it in a cage, I don't know why sir, but I think you were hammered...

 

by Beeko180
5-02-09
Why am I always the one under the toilet bowl?

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Well, this is my first time doing a.... stand up routine, you know what I'm, ok let's get this going.....
The other day I tripped over a stick.
The pony got shot, the end...
Well done! That was absolutely atrocious!

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Moving up the ladder....
So the other day, I says to this boy "You ever seen the inside of my Intestines?"
He promptly replied:
"Do they taste funny?"

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Getting higher....
I remember those times when I was growing up...
My father would beat me with a stick every time I farted...
Now politics is so childish that democracy has turned its back on the principle of its existence and instead focused on boggle tournaments.

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Feeling taller....
The other day I found a rock...
I turned it over and read the engraving:
Make sure it's the biggest truck on the motorway

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
The Clouds are up to my knees....
I once walked out of a hotel on a dark, rainy morning.
It was foggy.
From that moment on I've been driving out of the motel in a Mercedes Benz, holding a handgun out the window in case a few birds come flying at me...

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
I can see the stars...
I found the perfect woman the other day...
It looks like a mutated fly but it's actually my wife.

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Well here I am, at the top of my game...
If there's one thing I've never really cared about It's a fat, over-grown, weasle-faced-
DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Now, picture this...
A bright light shining white hot against the sun...
The glare is powerful...
And the only thing bigger than it is my butt.

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
I just had the most marvellous thought!
What if I were to rip out my lungs, shove em in a trash compactor, take them out. Then I'd shred them and wrap the remains in gift wrapping and give it to my wife?
Boy is she gonna freak or what!

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Well, I guess I've done all I can for Beeko...
I've been through thick and thin with this guy...
I just wish I hadn't refused to get payed for it...

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
And off he travelled...
Through the beautiful stacks of coffee stained newspapers....
And then somehow, out of great misfortune, he ended up in hell...
AAAAAAAH!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Ow, my head... Hey, how'd I get here?
K-THUNK!
CHRIST, IT GOT BIGGER!!!!

 

Stupid Wireless Broadband...
by Beeko180, 5-03-09

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Isn't that you're son over there?
The one kissing the hot chick?
That's why I'm here....

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
I feel very obliged to tell you that- nevermind....
No seriously, tell me.
Nah, you wouldn't care...
Is it because I blurt out everything to the next person I see within five seconds of hearing something?

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
You're gonna rot in here you stupid crazy lunatic!
Woh! Woh!
OH GOD!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
....Thereby creating God's ugliest creation:
You.
I'll be back with a knife....

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
SHOW YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
Billy, no screaming in the classroom..
YOU'RE ONLY SAYING THAT CAUSE YOU'RE FAT!!!!!
FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT!!!!!!!!
Let me get my muzzle...

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Again, I don't even know why you even come to the beach if you're gonna bring that with you...
I told my friends I'd take it with me...
That's what you said when you took it to the funeral...

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Nice curves!

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
I was looking at a car after I got out of the barber shop the other day....
That's when the guy who owned it, turned to me and asked with great curiosity:
"Why are you slagging on my car?"

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
You do know the probability of a crab talking, or at least talking to someone is nearly at 0, right?
Well whoever made those odds was a bit judgemental...
THERE'S AN ANT!!!!!!!!
Ok, where was I?

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
So I had nobody else to turn to but you. So can you help me?
Well first of all...
You're not a man...
You are a very hideous woman.

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
So what's new?
I'm sorry about your Aunt...
Tooms???

 

by Beeko180
5-03-09
Ok, all the doors and windows are boarded up. I think we're safe for now.
Well actually...

Showing page 37.

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