All comics by 80_Million_Fleas

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The Whipping Boy: 20 Years Later
Wow. You've really gotten creepy.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-06-05

 

Dick Cheney?
Kurt Cobain?
I thought you was dead!
I thought you was dead!

 

Mr. President! We have researched and created an atomic weapon.
Fantastic! Let's use it!
There's only one catch; there's a slight chance it could split every atom in the sky and destroy the world.
Use it anyway!
... I hate the Japanese that much!

 

I've came here to buy that night stand for my TP.
That'll be $120.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-06-05

 

Are you or have you ever been a Marxist?
Yeah! Duck Soup is funny as hell.
Are you or have you even been a Red?
Of course! Cinniatti is nothing but Reds.
Are you or have you ever been a Communist?
Are you sure YOUR not a Ruskie? You have half of the USSR's vodka supply on your breath.

 

Mr. President! What we going to do about this ression?
I know! We'll spend all the money we have, take out the loans then triple the deficit!
Wow, Reagan! You're a real genius!
Then I'll spend even more money fighting Communism and prosuing a silly named Defense System!
Golly Gee Wiz, sir! You're truely a legend. You need a library or a highway in your name!
Then I'll spend more money supporting terrorists in Afganistan! I'm a fucking god!

 

You got a scary glint in your eye tonight buddy.
Lack of pussy can drive a man insane.
As your pink imaginary horse friend heed my words. LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY!
I'm working on it. Last night I got in touch with my feminine side.
Earlier that night...
Whoa! When did I get this vagina installed?!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-23-05
Six months Ago. . .
Wow. It's 2:30 in the morning and I still haven't came up with anything remotely funny to make into a comic.
I guess I could use a series of internet cliches. Maybe some random ass absurity to tie it all together.
..or I can die with an axe to the skull. That works too.
That's what you get for turning my children into slippers, you sick bastard!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-23-05
Holy Hell! I'm in heaven!
U BET UR ARSE!!11 HAY IM GOD
You're God? I was suspecting you'd be a little... smarter.
DO U DAER QESTON MY JUGMENT?!?!?!111uno
Yup. You make intelligent design an oxymoron.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-23-05
DFGOANDFGMN~!!!111U HAV MAED ME RELY AGRY!!11
Hah. What are you going to do, be stupid at me?
NO!!!11oneunoone I WIL DO TISH!111
Tish? Who the hell is Ti--YARG! My flesh!
WOH IS DUM NWO, BICH?!???///
Aahh! The fire is melting organs I didn't even know I had!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-23-05
Ahh! It won't sto-- Oh. It did stop. Where am I?
Eh. You're in hell. God probably cast you down here.
So that dumbass really was God!
Yep, but not the God you was taught in school. He's the newest God. People in heaven get to elect which god or goddess rules for 10,000 years or so.
I see. How did that dumbass get to be God?
His Dad was God roughly 40,000 years ago.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-23-05
Well, I can only assume you're the Devil, right?
Bingo Gringo. However, not as the Devil you've come to know and hate.
In the beginning, when the system was first created, things was good. The once empty Universe now had all sorts of nifty things like nebulas, planets and critters that evolved.
This worked fine for billions of years, but then the God you've just met, gets a wild hair up his ass and decides to create 'mankind'. At first we though it would be rad...
... It quickly turned out to be wrong. Mankind was quite possibly the worse thing that was ever created. He tryed to fix things up with a series of bibles, but it only further fucked things up.
Now we have a bunch of hairless apes killing each other over a few words the current dumbass God created.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-23-05
Wow. That was a long and belitting explaination. Thanks for making me and the rest of us mortals feels special.
Hey man, its my thing. It's what I do. At any rate, you're probably going to be stuck here for awhile.. More than likely forever.
Forever?! I can't stay here forever! Isn't there a convenient plot device that will allow me to get out?
No. Now either you step into that lake of fire or I stick you in a room with about four people, all self-centered yet longing for friends, but in the end will tear each other apart.
You mean a room full of Goths and Emos? Point me to the lake.

 

Santa? You gave ME a Christmas list? What the hell is going on?!
by 80_Million_Fleas, 11-23-05

 

This is the greatest comic ever made.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 12-05-05

 

No matter how hard I try... I can't saw my own leg off!
by 80_Million_Fleas, 12-05-05

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
12-05-05
I don't think that's fixing the plane...
Just give me a moment, asshole!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
12-05-05
Edwardo, you're not making me enough money. Work harder!
Boss, just out of curiousity, what exactly do you do?
In all honesty, I sit in my office and pull on my weiner for a few hours... then I steal your lunch. After lunch, I watch you work... then I pull on my pud and go home.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
12-05-05
EXCUSE ME DEAR SIR OR MAM I AM GOING AROUND SELLING THESE LOVELY THINGS THEY ARE THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE IT IS CALLED THE TX-9000LB
THE TX-9000LB IS CAPIBLE OF MANY MANY THINGS IT CAN MAKE SALADS IT CAN MASTURBATE YOUR PUPPIES AND IT EVEN CLIPS YOUR HAIR WOW HOW MUCH COULD ALL THIS COST ?
Ummm... Go away?
No more Door-to-Door Salesmen
NO! ONLY 19.95 BUT WAIT YOU CAN GET YOURSELF A FREE TAPE ON BOOK ABOSLUTELY FREE FOR ONLY 1.17 ALSO MAKE SURE TO SIGN UP FOR FREE SPAM

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
12-05-05
Meat is Murder! Meat is Murder! Meat is Murder! Meat is Murder! Meat is Murder! Meat is Murder! Meat is Murder! Meeeeatt is Muuuurrrdeeerr.
What the hell are you talking about? Animals eat meat all the time. It's natural.
Well, they should get with the program! Meat is murder! Meat is murder. Meat is murder!
Because the left of center is dumb.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
12-06-05
So, as your republican canadate: blah blah blah, the troops. Blah blah blah morality. Blah Blah Blah anti-corruption.
Mr. Leggy! How can you claim to be against corruption when you're campagine is fianaced by over 30 different groups. Sounds to me you represent the wallets of the lobbyists and not the people.
Uh....
Two words: Distraction Tactics.
Babies? Fetuses? Rabble Rabble Rabble!
Abotions suck!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
12-06-05
Then I said: "Pay the CONTRAS more money before the Sandatias take mine!" Bwaahhaha!
Excuse me, sir. Could you help a man down on his luck?
Are you willing to toil long hours away in a job with meger pay that creates a sense of hopelessness while I earn most of the profit?
When you put it that way... no.
Because the rich are mean.
Then go die in a ditch some where, lazy bastard.

 

...and once their eyes met, they knew it was going to be the best, most rectally fun halloween ever.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 12-11-05

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
12-11-05
GUESS WHAT, Mom? I just ASSASSINATED TED KENNEDY!
OH MY GOD, NO!!! NOOOOO!!!
Mommy, I'm PREGGANT! And WOOFY'S the daddy!
OH, HOW HORRIBLE!!! SOB!!!
GOOD EVENING! I'm your male escort!
SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME????

 

Well, me. It's been two years since you last dicked around with this comic creator. You better have something funny. Mega Funny.
Rar! I'mmma bacon monster that's going to eat you!
How ironic, considering I'm vegan.
Yep. Should have comitted suicide while I still had the chance.

 

Yeah, I remember a time -I- used to gnaw on bones. Then I prayed the gay away.
Now, I can lead a full, satifying life obeying our true lord and savior without thinking about hot, throbbing erections
I personally believe you're full of bullshit and religion is a crutch for the weak.
I personally believe I have a fucking sword and they won't send me to jail for killing a stray dog nobody loves.
Um... Did I say that? I meant.... bark.

 

Hrm. That's interesting. Says here that consumerism is mentally turning adults into spoiled children. I'm going to message Frank about this.
Hey Frank, you ever read that book Consumed? ... Frank?
I said SWEET PICKLES. SWEET PICKLES. NOT DILL. Put it back and give me another one for free! And this time MAKE IT FASTER. I have hentai to watch!
This comic is would actually be funny if it wasn't so damn true.

 

I have some tragic news.
... ... ... What is it?
You remember my 'Caterpiece Theatre' show?
What about it?
I have no other way to put this other then your cat... didn't make a very good Jesus. Infact, he wouldn't stop sexing the other male cats.
Oh dear God, was Wirthling sucking again?!

 

Hi, I'd like to return my "Do It Youself Tumor Removal Kit'.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-23-07

 
It was at this point Susan realized that the "Wilson-Lookalike" contest was rather inane.

 

Do you think we had sex too early? I mean, we are only 13 and I've only know you for a week. If I got you pregnate, it would ruin both of our lives.
Nah.
This is a complex question here. I'm going to need a better answer than Nah.
You wanna stick it in my butt?
This is the last time I date a blonde.

 

Alright, I have a joke. A black guy, a blonde, a vet, a Mormon and an abortionist walk into a bar. . .
Wait a second, I've already heard this one.
Oh yeah? What's the punchline?
The Electoral College.

 

Locking stoned potheads in a room with nothing to eat but Blazin' Buffalo Wings? You sir, have a cruel, cruel streak about ya.
Eh. At times.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-25-07

 

..and after all that, I finally picked up my dry cleaning and went home.
Wow! That's amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing!
You're a dick, Lancealot.

 

Good evening, and welcome to the six o'clock pet news. I'm Dan Rover.
..and I'm Kitty Couric.
Tonight, we begin with a tragic story from Irat. Senior cowaspondant--

 

Being a pervert just means you're constantly aware of your own penis.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-25-07

 

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I hate this Game.

 

Shaggy's brother Edward had his own carrtoon about sleuthing, but it was canned 3 minutes after it premeired.
Gee, Mr. Dangerfinger. I hope we don't find any ghost pirates here in Ann Arbor.
You know what? This blows... and that's coming from your own drug trip.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

The office just wasn't the same without Frakenberry.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

Look, I'm sorry. Its not my fault that I was born without an anus.
This worse day of Tobor's life.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

Troop numbers have gotten so low, the army was forced to hire chickens and the mentally handicap.
BaCAWK!
Bib bib bubber bib bubber bibby boob boob bom boom.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

There was something ... strange about the way Asiangirl1 sold booze.
Sake Sake, Five Dolla!
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

Due to a loophole, drinking and driving is still illegal, but pulling over first isn't.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

Rather than fire procrastonators, the people of Beelbla 7 take a different approach...
I told you, I'll have this all done by Sunday.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

After Courtney Love obtained the rights to Pong, video gaming was never the same.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 3-27-07

 

This comic could be anything. It could be a joke about penises. It could be a joke about old men. It could even be commentary on our current sociio-political environment. ... Too bad we're out of sp
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-02-07

 

Creating a bin for overnight deliveries is the best idea this hospitlal's ever come up with.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-02-07

 

Polite Farting Technique Number 464: Pretend you have to go in your friend's pantry for deep musing.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-02-07

 

We now return to Getting Nailed on the Afterschool Special Hour.
C'mon, Tommy... Everybody's doing it. Don't be such a chicken!
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-02-07

 

Excuse me. Which way is the beach?
That wa--OH MY GOD ITS A FUCKING ALIEN!!!
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-02-07

Showing page 4.

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