All comics by AnonymousGreenTea

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What my best friend said:
Oh, wow! That is so awesome! It is beautiful! We will have ink forever! Yay! Winning!
Yay! Funness and joy!
What Mom Said:
Oh, no, honey. ...Still, you are a good child. I love you anyway.
What a sweet Mommy. I feel a little guilty because you are so nice to me. Awww.
What Dad said:
WHAT?!?! NO!!! You horrible person! You are worse than brain death!! EAT SHIT AND DIE!!!!!
Damn.

 

Hey, that kid is online... but he's busy.
Well, yeah. He has a life, and the friends and whatnot. Why would he want to talk to you?
Well, because... Umm, no, wait, because...
Exactly my point. Perhaps it would be best if you just died.
God forbid I deny it the right to a hobby.
You know, its not like I need your help to feel like crap about myself.
Hey, everyone needs a hobby.

 

I am so impressionable.
*Oh, Toby, I love you. Marry me.* *No, Toby, I love you. Marry ME*
Movies and TV shows that feature several people falling in love with the same person make me sick to my heart.
My subconcious must eat this shit up.
*You are so beautiful and smart and funny and whatnot. I love you. I'd die without you.*
I have never known anything even remotely resembling love. It makes me hurt inside.
Well, duh. Only beautiful people derserve love. Last I checked, you were a beastly little troll. You will die alone, with only some neglected plants to mourn you.
I am the only virgin I know. Emotionally as well as physically. I hate myself.

 

http://www.explodingdog.com/january1/homesickagain.html
http://www.explodingdog.com/january1/usedtobeone.html
http://www.explodingdog.com/january1/gooutside.html
Youre retarded. Go play in traffic.

 

Hey, you wanna get high?
Sure. Sounds like fun.
Oh. ....okay.
How about next weekend?
Works for me.

 

This is how I explore my horizons:
Hey, umm, you know what might be cool? Pot.
Like a blind lepper looking for batteries in a drawer full of razor baldes.
Sure. How about next weekend?
I am too lame to be a rebel.
Sweet. Maybe I'll ask that asshole kid if he'd like to come.

 

Hey, you know what might be fun? To make a whole lot of comics that no one will ever read, and even fewer people will ever care about.
This isnt any fun alone, is it?
No, not really. But, thats never stopped me before.
Maybe it should. Go to sleep. No one cares about you.
You know, there's probably a reason why you have no friends.
Does the irony of you saying that to me strike you as funny at all?

 

Well, shit. Yesterday you refused to connect to the stripcreator site, and I about screamed.
Today, you connect just fine....
...and I cant for the life of me remember why I cared.
You're a moron. Please go far away and bother me no more.

 

This monkey is Wayne. This is the first time he has ever instigated socialness.
Hey, want to hang out for a while?
Sure. Sounds like fun.
Anon is pleased.
So, getting stoned the other night was fun.
Yeah. It really was.
Hey, guess what. A few hours ago, this random chick gave me head. She bit.
I see... well, then. I'll fake my way through some casualness, and remind myself that the oddness is why I like you. I think.

 

I went to the Weezer concernt last night, and it totally fucked with my brain.
My nutjob friend and I were down in the pit, where there were seven people per square foot, and absolute full body contact with seventeen stangers at once for two hours straight.
It was an incredibly violating experience, and totally the opposite of anything that, fitting with my personality, I would enjoy.
However, it was amazing and I loved it. I think. What the hell.

 

Its about damn time I made a funny comic.
Spew and then these girls pretended to spew be nice to me, spew, and ohmigod Joe is so cute and spew maybe I could spew 'tutor' him in astronomy and hehe spew this one time he spew
This is going nowhere.
And then spew my Mom started yelling spew at me spew and then that penis happened in the spew video spew and it was all purple spew and once Roger spew touched me and spew
Well, fuck. Another ten minutes of my life wasted.
Hey someday we have spew to get spew high together spew or drunk or spew because spew I have no friends spew and I wish life was more spew like the movies spew and

 

The other day, I was totally psyched to make some comics, but the server was down.
I got extra pissed, and tried again every few minutes. Now, its all working and whatnot...
What a loser.

 

Hehe, hey, you are really sexy. Youre smart and funny. I think youre great. Umm, porn is fun. You said you were jonsing for the action.. hint, hint. Hehe.
Look, umm, I, ah, plan to get action elsewhere. ....sorry.
Fucking perfect. Why is my life so like a shitty soap opera?
BLAGH!!!!

 

This is not the fucking opendiary. Why do I persist in making comics about details of my life my friends dont care about and strangers find creepy!?
I'm just the default character. Why are you even talking to me? Leave me out of your excessive drama and trashyness.
Once upon a time, this was not so lame. Whatever happened to all that?

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