All comics by BlackhawkTC

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by BlackhawkTC
10-25-03
doot doot
Oh shi-
ACH! S' A SHEEP! NARY HA'E I SEEN SUCH A SHEE' IN MA'Y YEARS!
Welcome to Scotland.
I HAVE NO MOUTH, BUT I MUST SCREAM
ACH!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
doot doot
Hey, a girl.
doot da doot doot
It has boobies. And it's cute. And... cat ears?
Drama!
doot doot
Oh shit, it's one of those furries I heard about on Something Awful!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Hawk! Hawk! I saw a furry!
Describe it to me, my son.
It was pretty, and it had boobies, and it was wearing cat ears!
Cat ears?
What is your advice, brother Hawk?
Find out if it wears fursuits. If it doesn't, it's human and you can hit it. If not, inform me and I'll put this bladed object to good use.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Hawk searches for the furry he has been told of by fellow goons.
Oh, there it is.
That's not a furry.
...I'd hit it.
I think someone is watching me. I better keep smiling.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
I swear, there's someone behind me.
Oh boy.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
So... uh... lovely weather we're having.
Yeah.
Please don't kill me!
On second thought, the sickle and blood-splattered shirt may have been a bit much.
Maybe if I push him down and run I can get away.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Anyway, I- INCOMING!
Huh?
The battle is joined!
Die, foul beast!
RAAARRGH!
DRAMA!
I could have just let it attack, taped it, and sold it in ADTRW and made millions.
RAAAAAAAARGH!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
That was a needlessly drawn-out fight scene.
You saved me!
What.
DRAMA 6: THE POUNCING
CHRIST! NO! AAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
That was fun. Here's my phone number. Call me.
Yeah, right. Nothing could possibly get me to c-
Where's my goddamn mask?

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Here on Fox News, we have a fair and balanced view.
In other news, we've cancelled all our original programming and replaced them with reality shows.
You know what? I fucking quit.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
We at Fox 3 are saddened to inform you that at 3:50 PM today, our network executives were all killed.
The interim board of executives has chosen to remove all reality programming immediately and replace them with quality shows such as "Firefly" and "Futurama".
Just kidding. We at Fox know that all that the real television viewers want is 24-7 reality shows.
Yeah, no shit.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
In other news, be sure to watch our riveting new special, "When Fat Internet Men Attack", tonight on Fox 3.
This just in, furries clad in six-cocked fox suits destroyed four shopping mall food courts and ate six Ponderosas out of business in protest of tonight's special.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
So you follow the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi?
Yeah. I don't believe in eating meat and I don't believe in violence.
So you'd be willing to stand in front of an army with guns in peaceful resistance without fighting back, knowing for sure you were going to die?
Uh...
Get a job, you fucking hippie.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
So you claim to follow the teachings of Jain Buddhism?
Yes, I refuse to harm any living creature.
You just stepped on a bug.
So?
Never fucking mind.
I don't get it.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
hi
doot doot
TOREN!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
TOREN!
What?
I just saw a fairy.
I don't like the looks of this.
What could it be?
I think we're in Everquest, man.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
How could we be in Everquest?
Stranger things have happened.
squeek!
FUCKING RAT! COME BACK HERE AND DIE! STOP FLEEING!
Like that?
A fine example.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Hi, guys.
Neokitty?
How did you get here?
I think I took a wrong turn at Galaxies.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Something's fucked up here.
More than usual, even.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Meanwhile, at Sony Online Entertainment...
I say, old chap, what's happened?
We crossed wires! Internet signals are feeding into Everquest from all over the place, and we have isolated reports of people being sucked into their computers!
We're going to call it a feature and then clandestinely fix it a month later like usual.
Introducing Gabe Newell, Valve's expert code leaker and general fatassed fuckup!
What are you doing in my office, Gabe Newell?
I was bored.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
So who has any ideas as to what happened?
As near as I can figure, there was a major screwup at Sony Online's central hub, which in certain isolated cases such as ours caused our computers to suck us physically into the Everquest matrix.
Again... TO BE CONTINUED!
I think I'm in love. Any ideas on how to get us out of here?
Sorry, no.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
So what you're saying is that there might be other people trapped in here?
Very possible.
Meanwhile, a mile or two away...
What the hell?
IM A NINJA! SOW PLS!
Moments later...
oh god, my spleen
This ought to help me blend in.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
A long, long while later...
We've been walking for hours and all we've seen are rats. Where are we going?
I told you, that guy I punched back there said the person we sought was r-
A long, long while later...
THE GREAT ARCHITECT!
ph3ar!
A long, long while later...
It... It speaks l33t.
This shit sucks.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Great Architect, how can we escape this maze of trials?
j00 ^^u5t f1nd t3h C3N7R4L P|20C3550RZ t0 g37 wh4t u s33k.
Come again?
Sorry. You need to find the central processors to find what you're after.
Why didn't you just say so?
You try dealing with these faggots on a daily basis and see what happens to your mode of speech, Mister Big Fucking Smartey Man.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
The Central Processor?
Yeah. Let's go.
Where's this central processor at, exactly?

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Meanwhile, just over the next hill...
I wonder what this map of Central Processing is for.
I'm sure it's nothing important.
So much for the cliche!
I better keep it anyway.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
I hear something.
So do I. Last time we heard something I got to have all the fun, you take this one.
It's okay guys, I got it.
Okay.
I pity whoever she meets.
No more than anyone we meet, though.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-26-03
Hmm hmm hmm.
?
?
Hi.
Uh... Howdy.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
Find anything?
I found a ninja.
A ninja?
Yeah.
DRAMA! AGAIN!
Al?
Toren?

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
Maybe if we do like in the Animatrix and run really fast it'll let us out.
Worth a shot. Let's go.
Toren! Eff! Watch out for that-
You stupid, stupid fucks, watch out f-
TO BE CONTINUED

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
Wow. Eff's running so fast he's actually flickering in and out of existence.
Toren too.
What happened to the cop?
Fucked if I know.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
Faster!
Must... go... faster!
CONNECTION ERROR: Cannot connect to server. Please try again later.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
Finally, it is over.
Alcarde (6:45:28 PM): That was the fucking weirdest thing ever.
Toren (6:45:35 PM): Yeah, no shit.
Alcarde (6:46:01 PM): I hope that never happens again.
Toren (6:46:55 PM): Fucking Sony.
OR IS IT!!!111???1./1?
Alcarde (6:47:51 PM): Where's Eff and Neokitty?
Toren (6:48:21 PM): Shit.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
What the hell?
I don't know. Where the fuck are we?
Hello!
Mabus? No.. No, it can't be!
A VERY DRAMATIC TO BE CONTINUED!
I reiterate, what the hell?
That statement may be more accurate than you know, Neokitty.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
I don't understand. Where the fuck are we, Mabus?
Welcome to Sony Online's headquarters.
The central processors!
You must be the prophesied one.
To be continued!
I wonder if I have superpowers. Let's test.
AAAAAAAAAAAGH!

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-27-03
Okay, I'll buy that we're still in the game. I'll even buy that this is some twisted version of Sony Online Headquarters. Why do we look different?
Who can tell? This game sucks.
True. Let's go.
Sounds like a plan.

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-28-03
HTML!
HAY U GUYS
What the fuck was that?

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-28-03
HTML!
HAY U GUYS
What the fuck was that?

 

by BlackhawkTC
10-28-03
HTML!
HAY U GUYS
What the fuck was that?
SUCKEE SUCKEE FIVE DOLLA!
God, shut up.
AZN PRIDE!
SHUT UP!

 

by BlackhawkTC
6-06-04
STARSHIP TROOPERS 2!
I am the hardass sergeant
I am the stupid moron psychic
HERO OF THE FEDERATION
I am a psychic chick with unstable powers who will survive the movie because I am so damn pretty
I am the bad guy who's really a good guy and will voluntarily die at the end after surviving the movie
COMING S- Oh, fuck this shit.
I am a scary motherfucker who is supposed to be a good guy but it is made painfully obvious that I am not from moment one
I am sexy and use bugs in my head to take over peoples' minds, I also walk around tits out for half the movie

 

by BlackhawkTC
11-20-04
BOTTESTLAB CAST OF CHARACTERS "GUESS WHO" EDITION
DONGS?
butts!
WHAT THE HELL
HALO 2?
u sux
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK
ARCHSPACE?
CANADA!

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
LAB WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF SOME SHIT
WOW I BET SOME SHIT IS GONNA HAPPEN IN THIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME
is anyone there hello

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
PRETEND THERE ARE SPACESHIPS HERE CAUSE THIS THING DOESN'T HAVE ANY SPACESHIPS BECAUSE IT SUCKS
ZOOOOOOOM
ZOOOOOO0OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
ZOOM ZOOM

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
There are droids with lasers cutting my spaceship. This shit sucks.
DON'T WORRY I SAVE YOU MASTER CANNABIS
I hate you, you know that, right?

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
So now you managed to crash us into the enemy command ship. Great job, cockfag.
You suck! I saved your LIFE!
Now we can die here instead of out there, right? Go stick your dick in a blender.
FUCK YOU
Z0R4, stay here and try not to fuck anything up too bad.
butts.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
Oh, it's you.
HELLO EMPEROR CARRADINE
I was hoping for a rescuer who didn't suck.
WHAT DID YOU SAY
DRAMATIC MUSICAL STRIKE
I said, you'd better duck.
OH NO IT'S COUNT SUCKBOAT

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
We should kick his ass together, Adikin.
I WAS GONNA SAY THAT BUT YOU SAID IT FIRST
So, Count Suckboat. We meet again.
I KICK YOUR FACE AND DROP A CEILING ON YOU LOSER
OH NO
bring it

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
Good job with the whole killing an unarmed, handless man there, Adikin. You're a real hero.
YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT
If I told you to blow yourself out an airlock, would you do that too?
YES
You're lucky I need you around for later.
I DON'T GET IT

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
KESTREL AMIDALA ENTERS THE SCENE
OMG KESME HOW ARE YOU IT BEEN FOREVER
YES IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG SINCE I LAST SAW YOU MY LOVE
what the fuck be that bitch-ass skywalker doing over there
I think he's trying to mack chicks.
thought that muthafucka was gay
No, just retarded.

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
Adikin, I'm going to make you my representative on the Haxor Council.
OH BOY IM GONNA BE A HAXOR MASTER
No, they probably won't make you a Master yet, but it's just a matter of time until-
OH WOW THEY'LL MAKE ME A HAX MASTER RIGHT AWAY IT WILL BE GREAT
Shut up. Just... Shut up.
WOW I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I'M A HAXOR MASTER

 

by BlackhawkTC
5-22-05
muthafucka you can sit in the chair but we ain't gonna make yo punk ass a hax master because you suck
WHAT THIS IS BULLSHIT
shut yo' mouth and sit down son or i'll kick yo ass half to naboo
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME
boy you would be extremely surprised at the number of things i can do to you
fine i'll sit down

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