All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
2-22-05
Bob has his own dilemma right now
Peace is more dull than war.
I am no longer the center of attention.
People used to think I was clever and complimented me on that point.
Now, someone else is nore clever than I was. I would never have thought of having a blog archive to duplicate a blog.
You did the right thing by participating in a general cecession of hostilities.
Wheelchair in the snow... Great image... Wait a minute, J. GARGOYLE? When did YOU get an avatar here?

 

by BobRogers
2-26-05
Dave discovers that his true nemesis is not Bob.
Who in the blue hell are you?
I am cute Aisian Girl who own blog you all bent out of shape about.
YOU own the "bad blogs?
That right white boy! Me English number 10, but me HTML number 1.
Delete those blogs RIGHT NOW or I call Ho Chi Minh City and narc you out to the head of the Comunist Party!
Your dime, stupid. Me likee make you jump through hoops, dance like doggie and crap in jockey shorts. You idiot anyhow, what I care?

 

by BobRogers
2-27-05
Not all the voices are in Dave's head.
Davie I want to talk to you about cleaning your room...
I can't right now, Mom. I am busy calling Double Spy Punch all sorts of obscene names.
Leave Double Spy Punch alone and clean up your room.
CRAP! Do I have to? I'm 30 Mom, couldn't we get a maid?

 

by BobRogers
2-27-05
Dave posted the passwords to two throwaway blogs that nobody gives a crap about except for 1 cute Aisian girl.
I'm done! What? Don't believe me? I don't care. You want them down? They're yours. I'm done with this childish bull*snip* nonsense "war of blogs"
Me think you big bluff. Passwords no work. Can't delete anything. You #10 big liar!
Me think you big bluff. Passwords no work. Can't delete anything. You #10 big liar!
So! I caught you! You tried the passwords! you were going to delete both blogs or take them yourself. You're pretty stupid.
You think "I" stupid? You the one stand here, argue with cute little Aisian girl over blog nobody care about. You # 1 idiot.

 

by BobRogers
3-03-05
Dave prepares for "vacation"
Boards To Go is evil. They won't stop shutting down my message boards that I make.
You don't supposed that the fact you're banned for life from there has anything to do with that do you?
Bob won't call me on the phone brcause he is a @#$%#&#@$
What if he thinks being sworn at, threatened with death and screamed at by an imbecile is not a fun thing?
I will just go "on vacation."
Just stand on a beach in Tialand and wait for the next wave...

 

by BobRogers
3-03-05
Making headlines...
At the top of the news tonight, Message Board Dave has been silent for 24 straight hours...
Now if we could just get President Bush to do that...

 

by BobRogers
3-04-05
Dave is on a tear...
Wow, he's more pissed than I've ever seen him.
It must be the hormones. He's made up his mind to become a chic named Loretta. He wants to have babies.
Isn't that anatomically...
...impossible? Sure, but when's the last time he ever listened to you or me?
So the doctors are going to cut off his...
he says he needs to keep that for a while at least to give his right hand something to do

 

by BobRogers
3-05-05
Bob has finally put Aol Instant Messenger on his computer. Five minutes later, Dave finds out about it...
U235 Radioactive...
#$@##@$# %@$ and your momma too
Bob tries to be cheerful and upbeat..
Hi Dave..Oops, I'm sorry, Hi Loretta.
I just want you to die, die, DIE you #@$#!$@#
Of course each new convo is an adventure...
I'm doing OK, how are YOU feeling today?
Death... Destruction.. Plague... Tsunami... Bad things... @#%$!@&#^%#$

 

by BobRogers
3-07-05
...and so Loretta settled down into her new life as a preoperative transsexual, but not without some conflict on AIM...
:) and good morning...
I am a GUY you rat @#%$@%# A GUY! Do You Hear me?
Admit it Loretta, your inner woman has been trying to come out of the closet since that thing with the lesbians...
There's no such thing as LESBUNS!

 

by BobRogers
3-08-05
Loretta's going to be the "better person" and is removing herself from the net...
I am leaving and NEVER coming back! I hate you all!
Eh? What's this?
This is Loretta signing off forever!
I'm in love

 

by BobRogers
3-09-05
Erick The Viking has been struck by Cupid's arrow...
*LOVE* *ENFATUATION* *VIKING LUST*
Finally, you are noticing me...
Eric the Viking has been at sea too long and doesn't know that Loretta is really Message Board Dave in drag!
What the hell? It's like I am not even here!
I am in love with LORETTA!

 

by BobRogers
3-09-05
Vallerie The Valkyre is in love with Eric The Viking, who has fallen for Loretta PLVY who in reality is Message Board Dave...
You know that Eric and I have a thing. He doesn't know about it but we do...
I suspected.
Well now he's fallen for some bimbo named Loretta. Can you look into it for me?
Want me to kill her?

 

by BobRogers
3-10-05
Eric the Viking has been irrefutably smitten
Loretta... Loretta... Whata woman!
ahh... dude. We must converse.
*Love* *Enfatuation*
So, Eric, have you actually met this chic?

 

by BobRogers
3-10-05
A plan forms...
I propose a quest. I will use my magical powers to transport us to PLVY where we can find your Loretta. Then we shall see...
*Honeymoon* *kinky sex*
Vallerie doesn't take news of the quest very well
...and so the wizard conjured a spell and then they were Gone, Poof! Just like that.
Of course you know this means war.

 

by BobRogers
3-10-05
Meanwhile, back in PLVY, Message Board dave is on AOL Instant Messenger with Bob...
Why won't you just die, Die, DIE? Lightning007 SUCKS! Nyah Nyah! What the...?
Wow...bum trip...downer.
Say, who in the blue Hell are you and why are you in my house and where did you come from and yakety yakety...
Where did Willie Wizard go? Where is Loretta?

 

by BobRogers
3-13-05
A light bulb goes off in Dave's head...
Wait a minute... You're BOB!
Bob?
I'll teach YOU to dress like a viking and show up in my computer room!
Vikings, of course love to fight...
I wonder who that was?
Ow...

 

by BobRogers
3-15-05
To recap what has gone before...
I had my gender changed by a blogger... I am now known as Loretta.
I just kicked the raindeer piss out of someone who thinks my name is Bob, while looking for my true love, Loretta.
I just lost my Viking boyfriend to some chic named Loretta that I never met or heard of.
I used my considerable magic to teleport myself and The Viking to PLVY so he could meet Loretta. I ended up in Lapland.
And Bob Gets in the last word.
I played a small yet important role in plot exposition.
I saved a crapload of money on my car insurance...

 

by BobRogers
3-17-05
The wizard pops in after an unexpected side trip to Latvia, finding Eric in the park.
Dude, I am sosorry I am late. What happened?
Some lunatic called me "Bob" and jumped on me. I destroyed him completely.
Kinda idiotic looking? Beady eyes? Low forehead? Completely psychotic?
Yep....Yep... Yep... and yep.
I don't know how to tell you this but that was JDPLVY.... Also known as Loretta.
Loretta is a ...GUY... in DRAG? Somebody gonna die!

 

by BobRogers
3-22-05
Eric The Viking is nonplussed...
So who is this JDPLVY guy anyhow, and why is his name Loretta? You could see how a simple Viking might get confused.
You are familiar with the mythical race of trolls - live under bridges stuff like that?
Sure. But this is 2005, it's like 1800 years after I sailed the North Sea. Wouldn't Trolls be extinct? You know. As a species?
New species. Message Board Troll. They still make everyone's life miserable. Now they do it online.
Ok. So JDPLVY spams message boards. What does that have to do with being Loretta?
Multiple personality disorder complicated by delusions of grandeur...

 

by BobRogers
3-23-05
Wizard and viking were discussing JDPLVY in 2005 when suddenly a teleport spell reached out and grabbed them both...
EEP
EEP
I am really getting sick of Latvia
How do you think we Latvians like it? Thats the second time you landed on my wife!
uh oh....
You are SOOOO busted, Mr. "I gotta go find Loretta! Who do you think you are dumping me for some chic in the 21st century. It cost me 50 in gold to get you teleported back here. Big trouble bub.....

 

by BobRogers
3-24-05
Dave records the events of his life in his blog, much like Star Trek's Captain Kirk...
Captain's Blog: 03/24/05... yesterday, a viking appeared out of thin air in my computer room
I am watching...
I thought it was that *snip*tard Lightning007 and I jumped his ass! Then he disappeared again. Stupid Klingons!
I am watching...
By the way, did you ever get the feeling that you are not alone?
it would only take one round... just one...

 

by BobRogers
3-25-05
Bob swears he is Bob... But Dave is a nonbeliever...
I have been Bob my whole life. I have always been Bob
I know tha "bad Blog is yours...
And i know that "Bob" is not your real name
You're right. To learn my REAL NAME just spell BOB backwards...
Nutz
Thinking makes his head explode every time...

 

by BobRogers
3-27-05
Bob's efforts toward having "nice" convos with Dave meets with occasional resistance...
Happy Anniversary Dave...
Yaggghhh URB! Gakkk Urrp!
I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. You don't mean that you forgot our anniversary! I am hurt.
Yaggghhh URB! Gakkk Urrp!
I hate you Bob
Wow. If he's like this on the 1 year anniversary, imagine what the 20th will be like.

 

by BobRogers
3-27-05
At the Network Operations Center in NJ, Steve gets a letter from Dave in the post...
Dear Steve... I want you to take down all those bad web sites, especially Lorettasworld.info! Love, Dave
I wonder what I should do?
This is the same Dave that spammed us with email...
He called us up on the phone and screamed at one of our technicians for 20 minutes...
PS: i want you to make Google delete all the blogs in Blogspot.com
I'm sorry, Dave. I am afraid I can't do that.

 

by BobRogers
3-28-05
Dave confronts Bob and makes his wishes known...
I have said it before and I will say it again. I don't want to be a CARTOON!
There are many advantages to being a cartoon, Dave.
Oh yeah? Name one!
How did I get here...?
I'll give you that one. Now name another.

 

by BobRogers
3-30-05
Introducing J. Gargoyle, Dave's acquaintence from AIM...
Hi. My name is J. Gargoyle and I am a brand new character in this comic strip. I don't have anything against Dave. He makes me laugh...
Of course, he swears at me and calls me names and generally abuses me...
Dave thinks my name is Bob, but that is not true. Bob is my hero because he drives Dave crazy like Dave drives me crazy. And he does it without swearing! How does he do that?
Dave wants me to quit posting our conversations on my blog. So I said, "OK," because I am easy.
To tell you the truth, I think Dave is a little confused. He sure is mad a lot. Might have something to do with having so many enemies. But I like him fine.

 

by BobRogers
3-30-05
J. Gargoyle and Bob meet in the park.
So you're the famous "Bob." We meet at last. Somehow I thought you would be taller.
Actually I am taller. This is a holographic projection.
Well, nice to meet you. What are my duties as a cartoon character going to be?
Pretty much the same as on AIM. Just converse with Dave and interact with the occasional dinosaur
Dinosaur?
I got the Holo projector from Best Buy and the stupid Korean thing only works about half the time.

 

by BobRogers
3-30-05
Dave's search for Bob intensifies...
This has gone on long enough! I demand to know what your real name is. You better tell me right now or I'm kicking your ass!
Well, my name is Bob and I live in California...
There IS NO BOB! Why won't you tell me the TRUTH? Ummm WTF? Where did the meat-eating dinosaur come from?
Dinner...
So let me get this straight... An ACTUAL Trex wandered into the strip and ate Dave?
I think they call that poetic license...

 

by BobRogers
3-31-05
Dave is furious, having just been eaten by a Trex...
I just have one thing to say to you BOB or whatever your name is... YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! You better CALL ME right now!
You stupid cartoonist! I never WANTED to be a cartoon! You just let a Dinosaur eat me alive! Do you know how MAD that makes me?
Ring Ring
This is Tina from Credit Cards R Us In South Dakota. We will give you a $5000 credit limit if you can give us BOB's phone number and address...
The urge to kill

 

by BobRogers
3-31-05
Dave meets Delila and they seem to hit it off from the getgo...
I don't like Best Buy
I know Dahling...
Say, are you busy later tonight? I know a great pizza joint...
Sweet...

 

by BobRogers
4-04-05
Carol Ann asks Bob a simple question...
You know that Dave is more Looney Tunes than Bugs Bunny, don't you?
Of course I do.
... and if he hasn't figured out that someone else owns the "bad blog" he probably never will...
Yep.
So why go to all this trouble? Why not just cut him loose and let him be someone else's problem for a change?
Because I'm more insane than he is. BooYA!

 

by BobRogers
4-06-05
Carol Ann and Bob have a heart to heart talk...
I'm being serious here Bob. You are becoming as obsessed with Dave as he is with that stupid blog
Not true. I am simply fascinated by the many aspects of his mental illness from a purely academic standpoint.
When's the last time you got out and did something? You haven't taken me to the movies or dinner in a while... you just stay cooped up with that computer all day.
Well, I already bought advance tickets for Star Wars, and we had take-out pizza just last week...
You need to pay attention to the things that are important, like girlfriend and family. Otherwise you'll end up the only character in the panel.
You're right,Baby, I can punk Dave any time. I love you all the time. You are my world, not JDPLVY. Happy Mother's Day Carol Ann.

 

by BobRogers
4-10-05
Dave gets a visitor...
Dave, it's the Tooth Fairy. You can't stay in there forever
Yes I can. Now Go away!
But I have a PRESENT for you!
Listen, I already killed the Easter Bunny and mugged Santa Claus. Don't make me go POSTAL on you.
This is the LAST time I moonlight for Publisher's Clearing House.
There IS NO TOOTH FAIRY! Now FECK OFF!

 

by BobRogers
4-10-05
J gargoyle wants to get into the game...
You know, I thought that being a cartoon character would be more rewarding than this.
I pictured myself as the stong, leading man type. Yet here I am, appearing solo, as a filler waiting for something more exciting to happen.
OK ... maybe not completely solo...

 

by BobRogers
4-10-05
An old Friend, Tommy, visits Dave...
I see you password protected your message board, Dave.
I did it to keep the riff-raff out.
But Dave... the only people you know are riff-raff. It'll be like every other message board you own. Crickets chirping in blissful silence...
That's OK. I am the most interesting person I know. I will talk to myself... and I know the password to get me in!
Dude! I want some of the pills that YOU'VE been taking...

 

by BobRogers
4-12-05
Dave's new friend Jim offers advice and comfort...
Stupid Boards to go took away my message board. WHY? WHY DID THEY DO THAT?
Because they don't know and love you like I do, perhaps...
And BOB! That *snip*tard! He WRITES ABOUT ME! Why? Why does he do that?
Because he doesn't appreciate what a caring and sensitive human being you are...
Nobody LOVES me. Nobody APPRECIATES me. Nobody except you, Jim.
Shall I HUG you now, or should we just shake hands and pretend we're not married?

 

by BobRogers
4-13-05
"Jim" has been helping Dave ...
Now press enter and all your problems will be solved.
*CLICK*
I think I'm going to be sick
Crap. I just hurled
OK. Where am I? Someone is going to pay for taking me away from my computer. I was just about to call Audio Blog. Who's the wise guy? And who in the blue Hell are you? Who are you?
Be quiet puny Earthling! You are my prisoner!

 

by BobRogers
4-15-05
Dave has been taken into custody by an alien...
So, it's the old, "alien captures Dave and holds him for ransom" thing, huh?
No, actually, it's the old "I have always wanted to do this and now's my chance" thing.
ow!
It felt REALLY GOOD to do that!!!
Haven't seen Dave around today... Where is he?
Aliens got him.

 

by BobRogers
4-16-05
Bob and J. Gargoyle discuss Dave, who has been kidnapped by aliens...
What's this I hear that Dave is trying to be nicer to people?
It's true with me at least. He hasn't called me a *snip*tard in a week or more He's been positively civil
So how do you think Dave is making out with the aliens?
Dunno. You know how he is when he meets new people..
Meanwhile...
Alright...Ya made yer point. Would you mind remolecularizing me?
I'm thinking about it...

 

by BobRogers
4-16-05
Remolecularizing Dave is not a sign of an advanced civilization. Nonetheless...
I probably shouldn't do this but...
OW!
Now are you going to come quietly, or do I have to muss you up?
Under protest
Just stand here quietly. This won't take long.
It BETTER not. I've got TV shows to watch and Internet and etc. and etc...

 

by BobRogers
4-20-05
Meanwhile, back on Earth...
Und now mine students ve haff der experiment vere der volunteer JDPLVY iss teleported from der secret laboratory on der moon to der chamber behind me
Into the chamber. Time for a little ride.
I know this is Bob's doing and I will get him...

 

by BobRogers
4-23-05
Captured by aliens, Dave has been forced at ray-gun point to participate in a teleportation experiement...
Any moment now der azziztant on der moon vill thow der svitch und ve haff der volunteer back here on earth!
aaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhh!
My name is Loretta and somebody is going to pay for this!!!
Houston! Ve haff an ANOMOLY!

 

Dave offers ammends for alleged past indescretions.
I dowanna fight any more. I'm outta here. And for the record, my name's not Loretta.
Peace is always better than war. We'll see how it goes.
by BobRogers, 4-25-05

 

by BobRogers
4-26-05
Peace breaks out all over...
As more or less of a bystander, I can take peace or leave it, because it doesen't affect me that much
I haven't weighed in on the subject so far, but historically, one could color me skeptical.
I just want to get on with my life. I mean, I got a temper, sure, but I'm not a bad guy. The "bad blog" really makes me mad, I can't help it.
We telemarketers are completely amoral. We only called Dave to trick him into buying stuff
It's true that there are complex issues on the table and a lot of personalities involved. But what the hell... I am willing to give peace a chance
Tobor want PIECE!! RAWR!

 

by BobRogers
4-26-05
Tommy has made a startling discovery. The DeMoN, Loretta is an unhappy camper...
Loretta, what's wrong? You really look pissed.
I am unbelievably cheesed off. I had a great gig going making life miserible for JDPLVY and JEN ruined it all!
Jen? What did she ever do?
She convinced Bob to make peace with Dave right in the middle of my big storyline! he agreed and my gig got dumped!
And that's how you ended up on this deserted island?
I'm as clueless about that as you are, Gilligan. But it beats the hell out of Hell.

 

by BobRogers
4-26-05
Visitors come and go on the island, but Loretta the DeMoN seems to be stuck...
Wow, DUDE, Bummer. I heard you lost your gig in the middle of the story
Who in the blue hell are you?
YO! No need for hostility. I'm the son of the cartoonist. You can call me Sammy.
YOU'RE Sammy the Cat? I was expecting an actual cat. You know, like when Tiger did his guest shot as a "tiger."
I got a message for you from my dad. He says chill here and don't go messing around trying to possess Dave. He'll find another spot for you.
Well, I suppose he could have sent the big pencil eraser. I'll take what i can get. Tell you pops I'll lay off.

 

by BobRogers
4-28-05
It's a deserted island... but visitors abound...
You realize that you're on the wrong side of the island, don't you?
What do you mean? And who are you?
What? You've never seen Jurassic Park?
I thought you'd be taller.
Anyhow, an airplane is about to crash on the pther side of the island. There will be 42 survivors.
And you want me to join you for BRUNCH? Don't mind if I do.

 

by BobRogers
4-29-05
Meanwhile, above the other side of the island...
Riding along in the clouds in this airplane makes me feel completely safe.
Yeah, I know what you mean. Safer than being in my car at home in Australia. No possibility of crashing...
You hadda say "crashing, right?"
Not my fault. You can't pin this one on me...
OW!

 

by BobRogers
4-30-05
Flight 809 has gone down and, improbably, Dave was aboard..
So, you survived the plane crash and are now stuck with us on this island?
You're standing here in front of me in a bikini and actually TALKING to me. How bad can this be?
Not withstanding that I am an AMISH survivor of an AIRPLANE crash, I feel something strange is about to happen.
I know what you mean. As the politically correct token fat guy, I have a sense of forboding.
What do you think MY prognosis is, Doctor?
Somewhere near a snowball's chance in Hell

 

by BobRogers
4-30-05
Dave meets new people...
So how did you end up on this island anyhow? I thought Bob was going to concentrate on other characters and phase you out.
I decided to be an asshole and go back on my word.
You mean you decided to stop being nice and go back to being an asshole.
I've never seen you before. How come you know so much about me?
Dude. I have Google on my PDA.

Showing page 4.

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