All comics by DaveMonkey

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by DaveMonkey
12-08-06
So... You're God, eh?
Yep indeedy-do!
Jesus Christ.
Where!?!

 

by DaveMonkey
12-08-06
How did it go?
It went well. We're getting out of here.
So what did you do?
Outwitted him with a chess players mind.
We're not Dead. Can we go?
Sure.

 

by DaveMonkey
12-14-06
Did you know that certain types of poop float in the water?
I'll leave you with that thought...
Get back here and clean out the bath!

 

by DaveMonkey
12-14-06
I have a riddle for you.
Right, go on.
I can stand, yet cannot walk. I weep, yet I cannot see. I have a helmet, yet I have no head...
Mm-hm...
..And I can go in your mouth. What am I?
Uncle Joe?

 

by DaveMonkey
12-14-06
Anus? My wee-wee cried milky tears of joy earlier today. Is that normal?
Yes it is, but feeling the need to inform me about it is not.
Oh...
On a completely unrelated matter, you might not want to wear your favourite jumper tomorrow.
I hate you.

 

by DaveMonkey
12-14-06
♫So Tired...♫
♫...Tired of waiting...♫
Look, the fries will be ready in a min--
♫...Tired of waiting for YO-OO-OOOU...♫
...and they all wonder why we spit in their burgers...

 

by DaveMonkey
12-14-06
How much longer?
You'll get it when I feel like it.
Well I'm afraid that won't do! I'll see you fired for this-- What's in the box?
My collection of severed customer penises.
I'll wait some more.
Good Boy.

 

by DaveMonkey
12-14-06
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! I WANT SERVICE, AND I WANT MY FOOD NOW!
..AND IF I DON'T GET WHAT I WANT, I'LL... *Ahem* ...I'll... just...
This doesn't end happily, does it?
Not for you, anyway.

 

by DaveMonkey
12-18-06
It's been determined that after tons of research, 'cocyx' is the most amusing medical term.
...Because...?
Come on, work it out.
'COCK-SUCK'! IT SOUNDS LIKE 'COCK-SUCK'!
There we go.

 

by DaveMonkey
1-05-07
When I was at school, we used to call our music teacher 'The Donkey'...
...I assumed someone must have seen the size of his genitals...
...Turns out he hung around the beach, trying to get kids to sit on him.

 

by DaveMonkey
3-21-07
Hello, Anus. It's been a while, hasn't it?
It has. May I say your penis is looking mighty tasty at the moment.
erm... It does?
Why sure! Would you mind removing it so I can borrow it?
Yours comes off?
Yours doesn't?

 

by DaveMonkey
5-22-07
Hello again one and all! Thank you for being patient with a new comic? What's new? Well, I'm now married! Me!
She's a fuckin idiot to marry you, you limp-dicked cocksucker! BOOOO!!
Now that's not fair! You don't know my wife.
I AM your wife!
Love you too, hon.

 

by DaveMonkey
5-30-07
Yo Anus! I'm making toast. What do you want on yours?
I Can't Believe it's Nut Butter!
I think you mean 'Not'--
...And I got it all over her face!
--Never mind.

 

by DaveMonkey
5-30-07
Yes folks, it's true. I am now officially off the market.
People have said that people change after they're married. I disagree completely. I know I haven't...
TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, PISS-POT!!!
...And I know she DEFINITELY hasn't...

 

by DaveMonkey
5-30-07
Fuck.

 

by DaveMonkey
6-05-07
Well... We're in hell.
Yup.
Should have let that hooker live, man.
Yup.

 

by DaveMonkey
6-05-07
Hello, there. Could you tell me the way to Satan's house?
See, I don't think I'm meant to be here. At least not yet...and...and...
Dude, I hope what you did to earn your place here was worth it.
Totally.

 

by DaveMonkey
2-27-09
Chasin' up mah victim/ Gonna bend him ovah/ stick it in his poop shoot/ I'm goin super-nova...
I like it when yo struggle/Me like it when you cry/ Give me such a feelin/ violate you when I'm high...
I'M BACK!!
Anus and Anus...
...Putting the 'Rap' into 'Rape'

 

by DaveMonkey
2-27-09
Here I am. Just a monkey with no worries...
Uh-oh.
Bend over.
Anus and Anus...
...Putting the 'Ape' into 'Rape'

Showing page 4.

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