All comics by DoktorSeven

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by DoktorSeven
5-17-07
Some say enlightenment comes with meditation.
By always sitting in one place, chanting some mantra, to supposedly understand the world by closing one's self off from it.
How the fuck are you supposed to understand the world if you don't go experience it?

 

by DoktorSeven
5-17-07
I hate this revolving house.

 

by DoktorSeven
5-22-07
You might think that I am just an ordinary cow.
That I just give milk, eat grass, and moo all day.
But you'd be wrong. My story begins one year ago, inside this very barn...

 

by DoktorSeven
5-23-07
This is Zeke, the farmer.
Howdy.
Zeke isn't quite right in the head.
Maybe I can pick up that chicken over there from here by... dagnabbit, nope.
And one year ago, Zeke entered the barn on his usual rounds. Nothing could prepare him for what he found inside.
What's all that noise in that barn? Damn them animals...

 

by DoktorSeven
5-25-07
Inside, Farmer Zeke saw the most horrible thing imaginable in the darkened barn.
All of the cows had been reduced to piles of smoking ash. What could have done this, he wondered in silent horror.
As he reached the end of the barn, he noticed one cow had escaped the slaughter: me, Spotty The Cow.
Um... "moo?"

 

by DoktorSeven
5-28-07
Bombs. Hatred. War. Violence. Destruction.
Death. Waste of lives. Young adults not allowed to grow up. Sadness. Futility. Why?
Fuck Memorial Day. We need a goddamn PEACE DAY.

 

by DoktorSeven
5-30-07
Spotty! You're alive! I... *urk*
Moo?
Farmer Zeke disintegrated to ashes right before my eyes. What was going on?
And then I saw it. My brief cow-life flashed before my eyes. I should have lived life to the fullest; instead all I did was eat grass.
Fuck.

 

by DoktorSeven
5-31-07
"Do not fear, for you are the chosen one." "What? Really?"
MooooOooooOoooo. Moo moooo Moo.
Moo!
The strange alien led me out of the barn. I was nervous, yet cautiously optimistic.
("Here, take this. This will be your destiny.")
("Thanks, but I have no hands.")

 

by DoktorSeven
6-04-07
The alien climbed back into his spaceship. (It was a modified Ford Thunderbird, by the way.)
("VROOM VROOM!")
What was this thing the alien gave me? Why was I given this thing of destiny?
Hyuk hyuk! Lookie here, Billy Joe Bob Joe Joe Bob! We got ourselves one of them cows to tip!
Shit.

 

meh (cow's story will continue later)
by DoktorSeven, 6-08-07

 

by DoktorSeven
7-04-07
Hey, Billy oe Bob Joe Joe Bob! Where you at? I'm gon' tip over this co---
*click*
At that moment, a rush of power came over me. The device had instantly incinerated the redneck, and his friend was soon to follow. I knew my destiny was at hand.
Well gooowley, what in tarnation happened?
Death. Your tipping days are over, you brainless hillbilly. Chew tobacco in Hell!

 

by DoktorSeven
7-06-07
I knew what to do. The evils of society were rooted right here, in the halls of power.
Now that I was the Cow Of Destiny, I had the responsibility to change things.
Tomorrow, I will change the WORLD.
But tonight, there's plenty of delicious grass on the other side of that fence!

 

by DoktorSeven
3-12-10
Five years have passed. No longer insane, she has left the asylum and found a steady boyfriend.
All of the things that happened with Cthulhu has mostly been forgotten. She is once again a happy, normal girl.
I... I have something to tell you...

 

by DoktorSeven
3-13-10
...will you marry me?
...you do know I've been married several times with evil, Cthulu-spawn kids, and...
You might have mentioned that.. ABOUT A HUNDRED TIMES.

 

by DoktorSeven
3-15-10
"...will you marry me..."
WHAT!!!!!!!!!
MotherFUCKERS!

 

But Cthulu never came back. They got married and lived happily ever after. The end.
by DoktorSeven, 4-09-20

 

by DoktorSeven
4-09-20
Ahh, what a refreshing night's sleep.
Time to make the most of this new..... eh.
Hell with it, I'm just gonna masturbate.

 

by DoktorSeven
8-28-21
Time for dinner, Mr. Cow. And you're the main course.
Look, kid, eating animals is cruel and you will be much healthier if you were a vegetarian. Go eat a salad.
No.
Why not?
BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING DELICIOUS AND SALAD IS NOT, FUCKING DUH.

 

Gary, the Guardian of the East, successfuly denies entry to yet another hipster douchebag.
Fuck.
by DoktorSeven, 8-28-21

 

by DoktorSeven
11-15-22
Where the fuck is that fatass plumber?

 

by DoktorSeven
11-15-22
Zombie...
or goth?
Either way, fuck this.

 

by DoktorSeven
11-15-22
And that was the end of Jenny's story.
As she walked away, she heard a voice in the distance.
"THAT WASN'T A CARROT!"

 

by DoktorSeven
11-15-22
"Dear Jim: your chicken died. We're so very sorry."
"If it's any consolation to you, it was delicious."
"PS: we saved you a wing."
I had a chicken?

Showing page 4.

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