All comics by Kurashima

Profile

 

by Kurashima
9-02-02
The Perm was a bright kid. But suffered terrible bullying at School
Take that. We hate Smart Kids. Stop making us look bad.
Ow. Stop that Mr Taylor , or i will tell my teachers who dont care and wont stop you as theyre all going PC.
The Perm was Bullied at High School
Take that Mr Perm. You have not grown up to be a braindead Rugby player like me and i will now beat you up because i can.
OW!. Stop that Mr Taylor, or i will tell a set of teachers who dont even know me and who laugh mockingly at my attempts to stop you.
The Perm was Never Bullied at Work.
How many crates do you want today Mr Perm?
Im bored today Mr Taylor. I have decided it would be funny to give you a P45 and stop sponsoring your Rugby Team.

 

by Kurashima
9-02-02
The Perm Proposed Marriage at 21
Im Michelle. I can suck your dick like a vacuum.
Marry Me
Things Looked Good for a While
I have finished my Degree course in Nursing and i foresee a bright future for us.
I have completed a series of courses and have a really good job lined up. Its a pity your mother is an Alcoholic.
But never quite worked out.
Ive been fired from stealing money from my employer , im having a nervous breakdown , and im fucking some guy named John who says hes a spy.
Fuck off Bitch. Go back to your in bred family and homosexual canine. I never loved you anyway.

 

by Kurashima
9-02-02
The Perm Suffered 4 years of depression.
Kill yourself Perm. She never loved you. Youre a worthless piece of shit. FUCKING DO IT!
*sob* Im a nice guy. This shouldnt happen to nice people.
The Perm got over it.
Hi , im Jo. Youre cute. Lets date and fuck like bunnies.
Rock On! I earn more in a week now than i did in a month back in Scotland.
I Love a Happy Ending.
DOH!
HAHA! Your dogs Dead , your Brothers Special Ed , John wasnt a spy and left you , and your Family are all out of work. FUCK YOU BITCH IM HAPPY AND RICH!

 

by Kurashima
9-02-02
Hernandez , that was amazing. You really are one of the finest actors of your generation.
Thank you Senor Perm. Tell me , was all of that story true?
Every bit. I neglected to mention that Michelle is now a part of my life im in no way bitter about.
Yes. I feel i accurately portrayed your apathetic , yet gloating , mocking style of her misery quite well. But was it good enough to win Obijo's contest?
Fuck it. Even if it wasnt , you stuck it to the bitch good Hernandez. And thats what this strip was all about.
Indeed. And remember kids , Dont take drugs.

 

by Kurashima
9-16-02
Take THAT 8pm. Thats for even THINKING of taking over my game.
Urgh!
Take THAT TDO. Your multiple accounts will never defeat my TPE Empire.
Ack!
And that , Don , is how you deal with Sunday8pm and TheDarkOne
Stand Aside now Nod , im going for The Jonka Attack!

 

by Kurashima
10-24-02
Hey man. What gives with this "Third Degree" shit.
Well Mr Muhammed. Weve found some unusual things in your vehicle. We just need to ask a few more questions.
Found things in my vehicle? Like what.
Well , theres a Planetarion T-Shirt , mug , mousemat , credit card reciept for payment for speed rounds , and a few other things.
What does that prove.
Not a lot , but we found it pretty funny.

 

by Kurashima
11-24-02
*unf*unf*unf*unf*unf*oh god .... oh god ..... OH GOD YES!
*ting*
Hello Honey.

 

by Kurashima
1-16-03
Hello Fucktards. PA Roving Reporter Dace here, in the aftermath of another terrible day in PA's history.
Lets see if we can get the thoughts of a few survivors of this terrible incident.
Or at the very least, lets see if i can find someone to call a fag.

 

by Kurashima
1-16-03
Hello Fag. Tell me what happened or ill pull your lungs out through your nose.
It was horrific. There were bodies everywhere. People just didnt stand a chance.
Sounds like the after-effects of a night out with Jonny.
No , seriously , listen to me, youve got to stop it. Make sure it never happens again.
And what is this earth-shatteringly important "Thing" you speak of.
It was the realisation of our worst fears ...... Muslim said something funny!

 

by Kurashima
1-16-03
Back at Base , JJ and Karm attempt to minimize the damage
Ok Karm. Remove all posting privileges until further notice. Kill custom avatars. Remove all Styles.
AND CANCEL CHRISTMAS.
Youre still here?
Im waiting for you to threaten to remove my Spleen with a spoon , Mr Rickman.

 

by Kurashima
1-16-03
Ok. Simtech want a "Functional yet Friendly" forums. We cant have things like Muslim being funny. Suggestions?
Yeh. Give everyone custom avatars, and change them to "I sucked Sunday8pm's cock" if they misbehave.
Hmm. Too Harsh. Remember , we have Forum users that have actually done that.
Ok. We extend the swear filter to include words such as "The" and "And"
Wont that completely kill all the conversation?
Nah. Youll still get 500 posts a day from Nod saying "ROFFLE".

 

by Kurashima
1-16-03
And so Peace returned to the forums.
LOL ROFFLE BMAO!
*g1gg13*
Fucking Gay Homofag!
*close thread* *delete User* *close thread* *Delete user* *close thread* *Delete user*
And everyone was happy.....
Time to introduce "Pay per Post" i think .....

 

by Kurashima
1-25-03
JBOY , did you delete Jakiri's account?
Deleted for Owning an Atomic Kitten album.
What the fuck? what about Iniluki?
Deleted on suspicion of having a regional accent.
Well , i suppose thats acceptable. But why delete Starbucks?
Erm , Too Lesbian?

 

by Kurashima
4-11-03
Jeezus Kura , you look terrible. Whats happened to you?
Ive got a letter here from Simtech. Its about a recent thread i posted on GD.
So what does it say.
"We feel that your conduct in posting such a thread was improper and unbecoming of a moderator within this company"
"We will not tolerate any further attempts at humour. Yours Sincerely , JammyJim"

 

by Kurashima
4-11-03
You bastard! I cant believe you deleted my board account. I know it was you Kura. Come out here and face me like a man.
I won trollstars. Im the comic genius of the boards. I am the heir apparent to Nod. ME ME ME!
I see here you once started an "Idimmu for Mod" campaign.
Erm , yeh , well. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woah .... And you called JBOY a homosexual jew fucker. Damn you had a deathwish.

 

by Kurashima
4-27-03
So tell me sir, would you like to pay your bill just now?
BAN WAITER. DELETE BILL. CLOSE RESTAURANT.
Cash or Card?
Cash please.

 

by Kurashima
4-27-03
Son, you were doing 85mph there. This ticket should be presented with your documents within 28 days to your nearest police station.
BAN OFFICER. DELETE TICKET. CLOSE PROSECUTION.
Does that work in Glenrothes?
No.

 

by Kurashima
4-27-03
Look , er , Mr Baxter. Im sorry i was late today. Theres a train strike and i couldnt get into town.
BAN EXCUSES. DELETE FREE FOOD VOUCHERS. CLOSE EMPLOYEES FILE.
*sob*
I was born for management.

 

by Kurashima
4-27-03
Jonny , isnt life great without the forums. Nothing but drinking , working , paying the bills , not having sex.
Yep. And of course , theres the fact we dont have to hate each other because im not deleting your accounts Dace.
FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL FAGGOT.
BAN USER. DELETE THREADS. CLOSE CASE.

 

by Kurashima
4-27-03
Hey Baby , whats your sign?
Road Closed

 

by Kurashima
7-11-03
I counter your +10 Dagger of Ook with my +15 Banana Skin Body Armor
And i win the argument by introducing a +25 Bastard Sword of Selective Hearing
So what do you think of THAT then.
Christ Dude, i only asked if you thought Warlady was hot.

 

by Kurashima
7-11-03
Welcome to McPotheads. How may i serve you man.
Ill take a Big Bowl , 3 packets of munchies , and a Diet Laughing at the wall for no apparent reason
Would you like a dessert?
Yeh man, ill have some space cakes and a cannabis McFlurry
Thatll be your job , your girlfriend unless shes a stoner bitch , and a small fine in the courts please
Do you take cash , cheque or petty theft?

 

by Kurashima
8-30-03
Dude , that Vampy , shes freaky , but oh so hot!
Wait just a goddamn minute. Are you telling me that some freaky chick with plastic implants is hotter than our very own Warlady?
I thought those breasts were natural?

 

by Kurashima
8-30-03
Did you know theres more energy in this banana than i can get from drinking 2 pints of methuselah blood in Vampire:The Masquerade
This could be because youre not a blood sucking fiend from the pits of hell.
No, no man. Vampires are descended from Cain, the brother of Abel , scorned and punished by God for his brothers murder. The blood of elder vampires is very potent.
Right. And i suppose that the fact you buy the books to jerk off to pictures of big breasted women in tight corsets has no relevance to your near fanatical brand loyalty?
Must you be so pessimistic about everything?
I mod the RP boards , you guys quickly destroyed my positive outlook on life.

 

by Kurashima
8-30-03
I went fishing yesterday man. I caugh this HUGE eel man , and it bit me , right in the eye.
That looks sore man. Youre eye has swelled right up like a pumpkin pie. You OK?
Yeh , im just concerned though. I mean , what kind of an eel could cause such an injury.
Well ........
When an eel bites your eye, it swells up like a Pie , thats a Moray.

 

by Kurashima
8-31-03
I was soooo lucky yesterday. I saw that Nodrog guy from the General Discussion boards. They say hes some kind of legend.
Yeh , well , i saw that Sunday8pm guy from the General Discussion boards. They say hes some kind of legend as well.
Hes pretty Ginger though. I thought about saying hello, but i was blinded by the belisha-beacon like glow from his head.
Yeh , i couldnt approach the guy because he was with someone. Long hair , breasts , short skirt.
His Girlfriend?
Dace.

 

by Kurashima
8-31-03
Guys , my love lifes a mess. She doesnt love me, but i can access her email. What should i do. Can the combined wisdom of RP help me?
Whats Love?
Whats a Girl?
Whats Wisdom?
Who are you again?

 

by Kurashima
10-04-03
Hi there. And welcome to "TemPAtation Island" ... im on the boat today with one of our lucky contestant , Dreadnaught
Its good to be here Bob, you toupee wearing sack of shit.
Ha Ha. What a joker. Tell me Dreadnaught , do you think you can remain faithful to your girlfriend for the duration of the show?
Im supposed to have a Girlfriend?

 

by Kurashima
10-28-03
Hi There. My Name is Ebany, and ill be your newsreader for this evening.
If i seem to pause at any time during the broadcast, its because MrLJakiri is under the desk giving me oral relief.
Well be right back after these messages.

 

by Kurashima
10-28-03
In Game News , Jolt held its first PA "Woofage" this evening.
The giant quiz , designed to generate interest in the game , attracted players from across the world, seperating them into colour coded alliances.
Which were inevitably attacked by Forest.

 

by Kurashima
10-28-03
Jolt today announced that a major advertising campaign was underway to recruit players for the latest round of PA.
This will include advertising on TV , Radio , Film , Newspapers , and Magazines.
I swear those RP'ers are doctoring my script.

 

by Kurashima
1-17-04
Hi Flavius. Do you wanna head into town and share a soda?
No. Im not talking to you.
Why?
Because you killed my family with a chainsaw and wrote "I love you Flavius" in blood with their entrails.
I always do that. Its just an icebreaker.

 

by Kurashima
12-12-04
Welcome back to PA Comics. To those of you who havent see these before, hes a brief outline of how these work.

 

by Kurashima
12-14-04
Have i got news for MM
Today, id like to rebuke some scandalous lies that have been spoken of me on the forums this week.
Firstly, i was not drunk, nor was i anything more than slightly merry.
And i did not have sexual relations with that MP.

 

by Kurashima
3-22-05
Welcome to MacDonalds, Can i take your order please.
Welcome to MacDonalds , can i take your order please.
Welcome to MacDonalds, can i take your ..... Idi, fuck off , i told you that you were barred.

 

by Kurashima
3-22-05
Hey Idi, the guys are going down to get pissed and smoke reefers. Wanna come?
I cant dude. I have a cake in the oven.
So where did that cake come from?
I just finished baking this one, next ones almost ready.
Dude, seriously , there IS no such thing as a "Bakery Ninja"
Do not underestimate the power of flour, young one.

 

by Kurashima
3-22-05
Dude , seriously, if you have to continue this ideology, you need to try and make some money from it
I have already considered this option, but a Ninja does not reveal his recipes until he is ready.
No , i mean it, with the right funding , "Idimmu's Ninja Bakery" could really take off.
I see what you are saying my friend. Breadstick Tonfa, Yum Yum Shurikens. Smoke bombs disguised as Pork Pies.
Erm , i was thinking more along the lines of "Themed" food , not lethal food.
"Youre twice as likely to die eating at Burger King, give yourself a fighting chance at Idimmu's Ninja Bakery"

 

by Kurashima
3-29-05
This Summer, witness the full horrific effects of Alzheimers disease, as one old man wanders off in pursuit of something he cant quite remember.
Richard "Dead Meat" Tier gives his most powerful performance since he last ate a bowl of prunes.
General Discussion is proud to present "One of our Dinosaurs is Missing"
Wha? Whassat you say sonny? I gotta get back home, the wife will be wondering where I am.

 

by Kurashima
4-04-05
Hello, and welcome to todays edition of GD News. This is THE news program for the discerning GD enthusiast.
Todays top story on GD. MrLJakiri is consulting lawyers after Theamion stole his Robert Mugabe joke.
The remainder of GD are consulting lawyers after being forced to read it.

 

by Kurashima
5-04-05
FORSOOTH! I am Yahwe, intellectual giant amongst men, and the source of all intelligence within GD.
I have come to enlighten you fools as to the meaning of true power. You shall dance for me puppets, as you bask in my intellectual brilliance.
Oh, and for the commoners, have I mentioned im a damned good shag?

 

by Kurashima
5-05-05
Steven, what ARE you doing? We are going to be late for our dinner with the Burlington-Smythe's
Erm, Im just discussing the finer points of the Crown versus Robinson before next weeks hearing pater. I shan't be a moment.
The law society does not mark its discussion threads [Football] young man. Now what ARE you doing?
*sigh* im arguing with the peons as to why they should accept me as their god, and how pitiful their lives really are.
And how do they react to being told how to run their lives by those such as ourselves?
Usually with sentences ending in "Cock" im afraid.

 

by Kurashima
5-12-05
Yo , Steven, Dude, Whats up?
GORDON! How many times do i have to tell you. If you MUST speak to me in public, refer to me as "Sir" , not "Dude".
What? Im Gordon fucking Ross, scourge of the internet, and all round web superhero.
Well thats as maybe Gordon, but offline, youre an unemployed ginger student with the job prospects of Michael Barrymore.
Sorry Sir.
Now fetch me my brogues so that I may kick your arse.

 

by Kurashima
5-12-05
Ok Johnson, what do you have for me.
Its strange sir. Witnesses said some dude in black jumped out of an alleyway and peppered this guy full of bakery products.
Bakery Products?
Yes Sir. Thats a bread roll shuriken embedded in his throat, and witnesses say he was run through with a baguette.
Well, thats something to go on. Anything on the victim?
He was dutch sir. Were having a hard time finding anyone who will admit to knowing him.

 

by Kurashima
9-07-05
Guys. I have a real problem. Last week, i got incredibly drunk and i THINK i slept with my wife. How do I ask her if we did it?
Slept with your wife? What does that mean?
Did you kiss her on the lips? Ive done that.
Yeh, but only in Everquest.
How much XP do you get for a kiss?

 

by Kurashima
1-29-06
Im reporting today from the streets of London, England, where a recent spate of rapes within the Brixton area has caused widespread panic among the female population.
Sir, can you tell me what you think about this string of incidents and whether the streets of london are safe to walk?
Oh of course. I mean. those women absoloutely deserved it. I mean, someone told me recently the tenancy agrements say "I agree to be raped twice a week". And of course, they were poor.
Of course, thats only my personal opinion.

 

by Kurashima
1-29-06
Dad, stop bothering me. Cant you see I have a really important viewpoint to discuss here on the GD forums?
Look son, its Saturday afternoon, we have tickets for the derby match, and i think you spend too much time on that computer.
Football? Pah, i only pay lip service to that now. Its far too heterosexual for me.
Look son, i wont tell you again. Just because Uncle John touched you down below when you were seven doesnt make you gay.
*SLAM*
Hang on, I dont have an uncle john.

 

by Kurashima
6-01-06
I mean it man, im fed up with Bush. Hes screwed the economy, invaded Iraq and now hes spoiling for a fight with Iran.
Yeh, I agree man, hes gone too far, hes gonna get us all killed. Why did we elect that dick in the first place.
Ah heard that. Git em boys.
Goddamn that patriot act.
Yep. Pack your bags, were off to Cuba in an orange jumpsuit.

 

by Kurashima
10-20-06
Hey KIla. Welcome to Plastic Brilliance. Enjoy your stay here, but watch yourself around the mods.
Yeh, ive heard a few of them are a bit heavy handed.
Hey Mindy
YOU CALL ME MINDY AGAIN AND ILL GET MEDIEVAL ON YOUR ASS
2 Hours Later
And after that, he raped me with a Trebuchet.
Goddamn thats literal.

 

A hotel room somewhere near Darlington ....
JONNY! I dont care how it makes you feel, i am NOT playing Dominatrix till you take off the gimpsuit!
by Kurashima, 2-20-07

 

by Kurashima
2-20-07
Blasto , will you help me ......
No way dude. Thats just far beyond anything I consider sane!
Skiddy, any chance you could.....
No way Maggs. You crossed the line between "Strange" and "Barrymore" a few exits back!
Cmon Jonny, youre my last hope for this!
Suspension is one thing Maggs, but theres no way im nailing yer Crown Jewels to a desk. Auf Wiedersehn Pet!

Showing page 4.

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