All comics by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987

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Continuing their journey through the forest...
Hey Dagmar!
Hey! I thought you were kidnapped by a shady figure!
I begged him to let me ask you a question before he re-kidnapped me.
Ok, what is it?
Let's go get pregnant!
...

 

Where could he be?
I don't care. He could be in hell for all I care.
Don't say that.
Oh...you're right. But he's still a little booger.
Meanwhile...
Ok, you never said that hell was part of the deal.
Did I say it wasn't?

 

In their search for Ryan, the group descends upon a small village.
Hey. There's a coffee shop. I need something to wake me up.
Ok Noonie. We could all use it.
Get that uncolored stick figure you have with you out of here. I only cater colored cartoons.
Beatrice?!
I told you to get out of here, uncolored stick figure! And take your hammer with you! ________________ Don't assume, honey. When you do, you make an ass out of u and me.
Excuse me ma'am, but you have led me to assume that you're racist.

 

This panel has been censored due to ...ahh forget it.
Uncolored my a*s.
Look! The censor gave up on you!
This panel has been censored due to ...ahh forget it.
Shut the f*k up.
::sobs:: Why are you being mean to me?
This panel has been censored due to ...ahh forget it.
That racist b*tch let you have coffee. But do I ever get coffee? NOOOO! _____________ That's not the point.
Oooh! I know! So if I go in and buy you some coffee, you'll be happy?

 

You know it's not right to use obscene language.
I don't remember anything.
Liars go to hell, LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH.
...you're scaring me.
OK, THAT'S IT.
LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH!

 

In hell...
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT OF HERE I'M GONNA GO CRAZY!!!
I won't bother you too much. I just want to ask you a few questions about your friend.
Who, Dagmar?
Yeah. Does she think I'm hot?
I don't know, but last time I heard, she thought that Alex was hot.
Man, I'm gonna have to go serial killer.

 

Dagmar takes 3049834098302938203892348203839083 Health Points from the boss.
Urple nurple attack!
Nuuuuu! ::dies::
Dream transition: Riot in an airplane blowing up
Hehe...
Hehe...
Dagmar has no idea she was dreaming.
Urple nurple attack!!!
Nuuu!

 

Oh yes. 3 days.
3 days until what?
RETURN OF THE KING OPENS! It's the greatest thing! It's when we all go to the theaters and dress up like Legolas and parade around like idiots! And spend our money to see it a hundred times! Join us!!
Umm...but aren't you already dressed up?
Stuff it, pixie stick.
:(

 

I will never be accepted into society.
Yes you will. The key is to act...knowledgable.
Hah. How do you BS your way into being sociable?
Criticize liberals, "favor" everything you're against, add -phobe and -phile to the end of Latin words when you insult someone. Call everything profitable "witty" and "innovative." Expand your vocab!!
So that will make me smart?
Act, LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH. America worships a good actress.

 

LIBERALS SUCK. I'M PRO-CHOICE! YOU ARE A DUMB ANTHROPHOBE. THIS IS MY NEW, WITTY HAMMER.
LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH, what are you doing?
Ryan told me how to be sociable. I don't think I'm doing it right.
He taught you right, but there's one more thing. Find an example of perfect grammar, and stick with it.
Okay. So now I'm gonna be smart?
"Gonna" is a slang word. There is no room for slang here.

 

LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH! We've finally found you!
HARK! WITH WHOM ARE YOU SPEAKING?
What are you talking about?
I HAVE BECOME SMART AND SOCIABLE! F*K LIBERALS, THOSE BIBLIOPHILES! I'M FOR GAMBLING IN NC! IT IS VERY INNOVATIVE!
Shut up.
Oh...I'll never be smart or sociable!

 

Out of hell again, and back into the forest for more roleplaying fun, and no, not that kind of roleplaying fun, you pervert.
Wait...how come you were in hell with me to give me lessons? In the last comic before the lessons, you were with the group!
Because I was looking for you, and I found you in hell, and I forgot to celebrate cuz you were shouting nonsense.
Oh. You make me sound like I'm stupid or something.
Well, I don't want to say that...
What do you want to say?
Let's just say you've driven that nail into your head a couple of times too many.

 

I really don't deserve it, but some kind soul was nice enough to rate me. I think I know who it is, and thanks. :)
Oh shut up, Dagmar. All I hear from you is "I don't deserve this" and "I don't deserve that."
Yes, I go to high school with the character that LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH is based off of.
Ever since I met you when we rode the bus to PHS together. No self-esteem.
How did we just switch places?
And once I confront you, you change the subject?! OH how horrible!!!
Anyway...You will never guess what happened today.

 

Back in town...
Ok, so now that you're out of hell, I'm going to buy you some coffee in the coffee shop.
But she won't give me any coffee! I'm uncolored!
You don't even have to set foot in the shop. I will buy you the coffee to go, and then I will bring it to you.
It's not the coffee though...It's the idea!
Say no more! I shall save you from a coffee-less death!
-_-;

 

In the coffee shop...
How may I...oh my...wow.
Uhh...Could I have today's special to go?
You're really cute...
Umm...so anyway...the coffee...
Gee...
What's the problem?!

 

Beatrice is now passed out in the back room.
I'm sorry about Beatrice. I'm the slave lady who cleans all the tables, but I'll be your server today. So how may I help you?
...My stars!
Excuse me?
Such beauty!!!
HOW may I HELP you?!?!
La la la la la...

 

Let's try this again. How may I help you, cutie?
Today's special to go.
Beatrice is making the coffee. But what unsuspecting Alex doesn't know is that she is secretly spiking it!
La la la...
Dun dun dun...
Here's your coffee. Are you sure you don't want to sit in here and drink it? ________________ Oh my gosh are you serious? I might actually want that coffee back...
It's not for me; I'm bringing it to a friend of mine...Otherwise I would.

 

Dun dun dun!
Ok, here's the coffee I promised you.
Thank you! ::guzzles it all::
Ok, let's go. We have to catch up with the group.
LOL Yes let's go ::giggle giggle snort::
Are you ok?
I've never been ok...I'm flying...the sky, see? look at all the fireworks! They're for me...lol! memememememememememememememeeeeee...

 

I mean, look at her. I don't know what happened. She just went crazy.
...?
Why won't you talk, baby?! Can't you see how much I love you?
!
...

 

Are you ok?
Of course I'm ok. I just can't believe how much of an EMBARASSMENT I am!
You weren't an embarassment...you were just...
Drunk maybe?! I was a minority! Never drugged!!
This is the part where I should calmly tell you about cough syrup and mouthwash.
...

 

So where are we headed now?
Hold on. I should check in the job ads.
How did you just...nvm.
Here we go! Team of 4 heroes needed in the galaxy of "der Feisen Handschuh."
The gross hand shoe?
Glove. Well, sometimes we have to take what we can get.

 

The ad said "team of four heroes." We have five. Who goes?
Ryan.
Ryan.
Ryan.
Hey...that's not fair. I demand a recount!
But Ryan, it's getting lonely in hell...

 

Losing the election by a margin of 27 electoral votes from Florida is...::snicker snicker::
I won?
Well, this isn't golf, but you do have the least amount of points.
I won?!
No, you dip! You lost! Hear me? Gone. Banished to hell with the genie, the snowman, Ray, and Frozen Brad FOREVER.
Wait...can't we do another recount?

 

To be politically correct, we have to present the "whole" story to you. (If you don't watch the news, you won't understand this.)
::chokes on a pretzel::
::chokes on a pretzel::
::chokes on a pretzel::
::chokes on a pretzel::
::showing a football game::

 

Our heroes now travel by spaceship to the galaxy of der Feisen Handschuh.
Okay. So how do you work this thing?
I don't know. Our planet's far away and we didn't even try. So maybe we could get there in our sleep.
Novel idea, Alex!
Thank you! I'm full of it! Err...ideas, anyway.
So if you're full of it...err...ideas, how do we know if we're gonna land in the right galaxy? _______________ No.
Don't you have a map? ________________ We're screwed.

 

Noonie, when is Santa Claus gonna come?
Santa's not gonna come.
Why?
Santa's dead.
Nuuu!!! ::sobs::
:)

 

Woo!!! It's cold!!!
Alex, what are you doing?
Running around in my underwear. What does it look like I'm doing?
Running around in your underwear.
Then WHY do you people always ASK what I'm doing when you already KNOW what I'm DOING?!
Uhh...Let me go ask LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH where she keeps her PMS medication.

 

Is there a bathroom on this thing?
Crap.
Exactly. I need to go to the bathroom.
No. I mean, I forgot to build one.
I HAVE TO GO. NOW.
I'm sorry?

 

Arrival!
This is it?
PEE-DOM!!!
LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH?
She needed to use the bathroom.
But wasn't there one on the ship?
... It ran away.

 

Our heroes stumble upon an odd building...
Hi. We just got here and we--
Are you the team of 4 heroes we sent for?
Yeah.
Well, we don't need you anymore.
You mean that we just sat in a spaceship for a week for NOTHING?!
Actually, I was kidding. Right this way.

 

Ok, here's the map to the castle you'll be journeying to.
Ok, so what's this purple thing?
It's a portal. It leads to the place at the bottom of the map.
That castle looks familiar.
Probably. It's on Earth.
Wait...is that the prison?!

 

Well, you'll be leaving tomarrow, so you should make yourself at home while you still can.
Ok.
Hey look! They're colored!
Yes, and you're uncolored.
You'd better not go to the coffee shop down the road. They don't cater to colored cartoons.
I hate being stuck in the middle...

 

OMG THEES PPL R SO FUNY LOOKN HAHA LOLO
-_- We're saving your butts, stupid.
OMG HAHA TEHY MKAE FUNY FCAES 2 LOLO
OMG UR N IGIT HAHA LOLO
OMG I SHRUKN EVRY FRMAE OF TEH COMC LOLO
-_-;

 

Hi. I'm Jon and I'll be your tour guide for today. Are you the leader?
Hi. I'm Dagmar and I'm not the leader. LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH is.
Wow. That name sounds so butch...
Butch this! ::smack::
Ow...I take it back...
:)

 

So, how about after you save us all, we go on a date or something?
Well, if I were racist I would say no because you're uncolored.
Are you racist?
Nope.
Yay! I'm so happy; I can't believe my good luck!
But I'm still going to say no.

 

On our planet, we have New Year's on what you call Jan. 3rd.
So?
I was uhh...wondering...if you uhh, had a kissing partner for 12:00.
Yeah, I do.
Who is it?
Not you.

 

Hi, I'm Jon, the tour guide. Are you the leader?
Nope. I'm Noonie, Dagmar's sister.
Lol that name sounds like some kind of an insult.
How dare you! ::smack::
Ow...I was joking...Actually I think you're almost as cute as your sister...
How dare you! ::kick::

 

Hi, I'm Jon, the tour guide. Are you the leader?
You know, this reminds me of a children's story.
Really?
Yeah. I mean really, read all the comics you're in. It's just one person after the other. But the leader is always last.
Comics?
Nvm.

 

Ok, so if you're not the leader, who are you?
Alex. Didn't you read the title of the last comic?
Comic?
Nvm.
Oh. All you Earth people are so cute. I wish I could go live there.
How dare you! ::smack::

 

Hi. I'm Jon, the tour guide. You have to be the leader.
What if I'm not?
Well, there are four of you, and if Noonie, Dagmar, and Alex aren't the leaders, then you must be.
Got me there. I'm LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH, the leader. And you're awfully cute...
The leader is always the black sheep...Can't you get me a date with one of the other three?
How dare you! ::smack::

 

Maa-aaa-aaa-aaa!
Uhh, hello there.
Maa-aaa-aaa-aaa!
Wait...how stupid am I...talking to a goat.
Maa-aaa-aaa-aaa!
AAUGH I CAN'T STAND IT

 

This place is bogus. When do we leave?
Tomarrow morning. I think that's the next comic. Do you have a sister?
Yes. Dagmar. The hippie girl over there.
Oh! Her! From Earth! My son went to school with her. She wore that little...oh never mind.
...
:)

 

The Next Morning...
::yawn::
Good morning! How was your breakfast?
It was gray. Just like EVERYTHING else around here.
Yay! I'm so glad you like it here!
You don't understand...
I hope all of your cute friends liked it that much!

 

On their way out...
You know Noonie, I actually am starting to like it here.
Dagmar, it's GRAY. Everything. Gray gray gray.
And yet it's less bleak than my normal life...
Well, it is less bleak than you are.
How could you say such a thing?
:) How could you think such a thing?

 

I have a question. ________________ I forgot what it was.
What is it? ________________ Let me know when you remember.
Wait, I remember. ______________ No...I don't. Never mind.
Ok, what is the question? ________________ Ok.....
I remember now! _______________ Do you know anyone named "The Genie?"
WHAT IS IT?! _______________ Oh. He's my brother that lives on Earth. We have so much in common. Like we're both bipolar.

 

Ok, here we are. Outside the compound. Now you're on your own.
Wait...I thought you were journeying with us.
Did I ever say that? hahaha.
And why are you laughing?
Because I could kill you or anything now that we're out in the wilderness...
I have a hammer.

 

Jon has left the building.
Okay guys, let's not panic. We don't have our tour guide anymore, but we can get through this.
OMG EVERYONE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
It's ok. We're going to be fine. You're doubting me, you know.
::sobs:: I can't believe our un-luck...
I thought you said I was your hero.
When did I say that?

 

At night...(when is it day?)
::is asleep::
Hmm...not that one...
::is asleep::
Oooo...nah. Not that one.
::is asleep::
Haha! ::kidnaps::

 

Dagmar wakes up.
What am I doing here? Jon, is that you?
Yes. I have kidnapped you, you know.
Umm...why?
Because nobody would go on a date with me.
That's a stupid reason.
...oh.

 

You know...my friends will be here any minute to save me.
No they won't. They're all still asleep.
...until...
::wakes up:: Are we missing someone?
::is asleep::
Oh no! We are! ::runs off to save her::
::is asleep::

Showing page 4.

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