All comics by TheBlairZip

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by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
Father, I've come to confess.
Certainly, my son. Please, step into the confessional booth.
Wait a minute. This doesn't look like a confessional booth to me.
Oh, it's the latest in papal technology. It's soundproofed...you know, to keep everyone outside from hearing your confession.
ummm...actually, I already feel better. I think I'll just be going home now...
It's safe, I swear! It's not a trap! There's punch and pie inside! Come back!!! Awww, lost another one. GODDAMMIT!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
Did you hear? Fuck left $50,000,000 hidden in strip 71339!!!
Holy shit, that's hot! Let's fuck!
NO!
Damn!
Well, I guess we'll just wait here and see who finds it...then we kill them and take off with the loot!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
This is really your plan? Just stand here until the money is found by someone else?
FUCK YES!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
Meanwhile...
Dude! Fuck has left $50,000,000 hidden in comic 71339! Let's go...
I SAT ON A GUMMY BEAR THAT GABE KAPLAN HAD IN HIS MOUTH!!!!!!!!
SCROE!
SCROE!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
Almost there!
ROCK! Don't worry...I'll use my magical skillz as Grand Wizard to catch the bastard that grabs our cash!
I'm leaving...
COMMIE BASTARD!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
Hmmm.....what can I do to help out my situation? I've got it!
A few minutes later...
Alright Tobor...seek out and destroy all persons looking for the treasure...except me!
WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
Of course, by 'destroy' I mean 'cornhole'...
DESTROYING COMMENCED!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
HOLY FUCKSHIT! It's the KID! LET'S GET HIM!!!
Oh...well, then...I'LL GET HIM!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
Hand over the money, you little bitch!
I don't know what you're talking about!
Don't play coy with me!
I don't wanna play anything with you, you fuckin' perv!
!@*&#%*(&#$)*& !@#$)*&!@# $^

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
DAMN! Do you give up yet or what?
I don't know anything about any money! I had found a bag lying here a minute ago, but I laid it down when some drunk came up mumbling about IRC or something...
#(@*)(#*$ #@$&(@#*$&)@(# #%@#%

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
Meanwhile...
Hmmm...I wonder if anyone found that money...
MY LOINS ARE FULL OF NUTRITIONAL VALUE!!!
You seriously need help!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
So you have no idea where the bag is?
I told you, I left it sitting right there. Someone must have picked it up.
DAMN!
...dumbass...

 

by TheBlairZip
6-14-02
HAHA! I now have $50,000,000!!!
hold it rite ther kidd
Fuck! I thought you were dead!
fuuled you, bitch...now it is tyme for teh rapping!!!
Epilogue...
Was it a dream, or just another game in the sick twisted mind of SC's most notoriuos stripper? No...just another trip to the Twilight Zone.
wrrong agin! prepare too git naled!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
6-24-02
Good talk, son...

 

by TheBlairZip
6-24-02
After 2 months without a third roommate...
Zip! I finally got us another roommate!
Sweet! That'll really help out with the bills!
Here she is now. Hey, Mary!
Gee, I hope she's cool...
Hi.
Oh God.

 

by TheBlairZip
6-27-02
After a week, or so...
You know Mary...now that I've gotten to know you, I think you're pretty cool.
Thanks. You're fun to hang out with, as well.
I was kind of worried at first, what with the tattoos and colored hair and such.
I don't color my hair.
Oh God.

 

by TheBlairZip
7-03-02
Hey, Bob. See that American Idol show last night?
Yeah, those kids are pretty talented.
Based on a British show, right?
Yeah, that's where they got that Simon dude.
He's hilarious! Oh shit, here comes Jar Jar...
MEESA DRUNK AGAIN!!! GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

 

OOOHHHH!!!!
Yeah, baby...FEEL IT!!!
by TheBlairZip, 7-05-02

 

by TheBlairZip
7-06-02
What a shitty day. Why did I ever go into encyclopedia sales? *KNOCK KNOCK*
Yes?
Good day, dear lady. I'm going door-to-door to make you this incredible offer...
*SLAM*
Damn! Things just can't get much worse....wait, is that a meteor?

 

by TheBlairZip
7-11-02
BEHIND YOU!
BEHIND YOU!

 

by TheBlairZip
7-11-02
People ask me if Michael Sullivan was a good man, or if he was completely evil...
You saw me kill some dudes, so now we have to run because they're going to come after us.
Oh, for fuck's sake. You are going to die anyways (which is painfully obvious from the opening monologue...just like in American Beauty). Why bother???
...so when people ask me about Michael Sullivan, I tell 'em to fuck off, then kick 'em in the nuts! Thanks for fucking my head up for life, DAD!

 

by TheBlairZip
7-12-02
...
AGH!

 

by TheBlairZip
7-27-02
Holy shit! We've been drafted into the Marines!
I knew reading this book would pay off one day!
The next day...
I thought mass murder would be fun, but it's left me feeling empty inside. I don't think I can go on.
...can I have your knife, then?
After the War Crimes Tribunal...
Holy shit! We got accepted into the Manson Family!
Back to basics!

 

by TheBlairZip
8-21-02
It's been a while since I've made any comics, and I'd like to apologize to my loyal readers for this oversight...
Oh, who the fuck am I kidding...

 

by TheBlairZip
8-21-02
It's gotta start somewhere...
It's not THAT small....

 

by TheBlairZip
8-23-02
Good morning, earthl....umm, Johnny. What seems to be the problem?
Well, doc, I have this....wait a minute. You don't look like Doctor Rosencrantz.
Oh....well.....I have a cold.
I don't think a mere cold would change your...
Look, if you'll just bend over, I'll start taking your temperature...
...just gotta get right out of here....

 

by TheBlairZip
8-23-02
Probing...I mean, temperature-taking has commenced...
How much longer is this gonna take, doc?
Almost finished.......oh my Ultimate Being!
What is it?
I see a little silhouetto of a man...
Scaramouch!!!

 

by TheBlairZip
8-29-02
Thanks...you can let go now.

 

by TheBlairZip
9-20-02
We have a new dog! I've named him Buddy.
Buddy? I can't call him Buddy. That's gay.
Look behind you.
...never mind.

 

by TheBlairZip
9-24-02
Syphilis! It just started with one simple kiss.
Now, it hurts me just to take a piss.
Oh, I believe in syphilis.
Yeah...sorry 'bout that.

 

by TheBlairZip
9-24-02
Leprosy! All my parts are falling off of me.
I'm not half the man I used to be.
And it's all because of leprosy.
...then you shouldn't have to worry about the whole syphilis thing much longer, eh?

 

by TheBlairZip
9-27-02
It's all the same, only my names will change. Everyday, it seems, we're wasting away.
Another site, where the faces are so cold. I'd surf all night just to find a home.
I'm a cowboy. On a pink horse, I ride. I'm wanted, dead or...
Trust me, around here you're only wanted dead or dead, so don't even bother finishing that fucking lyric! Just shut the fuck up and hack V-girl's site already! Jesus Christ, you fucking pussy!

 

by TheBlairZip
10-08-02
Flies have short legs.
Banality is each citizen's heir.
The middle class is every citizen's beginning.
Citizens have short flies.
...
Spice is the joke's shortness.

 

by TheBlairZip
10-08-02
If each man says the opposite it is because he is right.
THE JOYOUS WIND!

 

by TheBlairZip
10-28-02
Okay, I think it's time for the dog to go.
Man's best friend, my ass!

 

by TheBlairZip
10-28-02
Hey, Randy. Ready for our study session?
Holy shit! Look at the size of that hickey! You are so busted!
You put it there.
I have to stop smoking up before studying!

 

by TheBlairZip
10-28-02
Hey, you look like...
Please, kid. I beg you. Don't say it.
DO THE MARIO!
...the streets shall flow...

 

by TheBlairZip
10-28-02
Dude, I can't stop playing Unreal Tournament 2003!
You're still stuck on first-person shooters for the PC? That is SO 20th century. Today, it's all about the console.
Even so, any exclusive console game usually comes to the PC anyways. But the other way around? Forget it!
But why wait, when you can go ahead and get it on the console it was developed for?
[ Insert joke about Microsoft here ]

 

by TheBlairZip
10-28-02
You don't think reps from Warner Bros. ever visit StripCreator, do you?
Nah...
Nah...

 

by TheBlairZip
10-30-02
You mean I actually have to pay back the loan???

 

by TheBlairZip
10-31-02
Hey, Betty. Are you dressing up for Randy's Halloween party tonight?
I'd like to, but I can't think of a costume. I'm going to go walking for a while and see if inspiration hits me.
Later that evening....
Umm....Betty?
Remind me to never take a stroll through downtown for inspiration...ever.

 

by TheBlairZip
10-31-02
Quite changing me into stupid things and do something cool! I mean, why the hell do you...
FINITE INCANTATEM!
Hermione?
.....fuck.

 

by TheBlairZip
10-31-02
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
Umm...yes?
Listen, buddy. Halloween has been over for a week. I'm starting to rot.
Sorry about that. Well, then, let me just...
Never mind. I rather enjoy the stench. See ya later.

 

by TheBlairZip
11-15-02
Come on....come on!!!
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
JUST A SEC! Only 50 more points....COME ON!
*KNOCK KNOCK....SMASH*
OH MY GOD! I just destroyed the Galaxian horde!
Um, yes...I believe that my phaser and your rectum are about to have a discussion concerning that very matter...

 

by TheBlairZip
1-14-03
See ya later.
Yup.

 

by TheBlairZip
1-16-03
Tonight's top story: "How a war with Iraq would affect your wallet"
I'll tell you how a war with Iraq affects my wallet...
I don't have enough money in my wallet to move to a different country.

 

by TheBlairZip
6-30-03
Well, it's been a while, but I'm back!
Not all at once, folks...simma down.

 

by TheBlairZip
6-30-03
So, I guess none of you have been wondering where I've been or what I've been doing?
Thought so.

 

by TheBlairZip
6-30-03
Truth be told...I've been laid off twice since January. I finally got a steady job just last month.
It's a frustrating job with long hours and little reward, but the pay's not too bad.
For more info, just go to anal. cumslurpingsluts. net/theblairzip

 

by TheBlairZip
7-29-03
August 26: TheBlairZip's birthday!
Why the hell would we celebrate his birthday?
Beats me.
I just want to be loved...
I can't believe it's not tofu!

 

by TheBlairZip
7-30-03
And now for a little performance art.
Hmmm, I don't think I signed up for any...
HUYYYYAH!
hmm...not my best work...
Well, that was certainly odd.

Showing page 4.

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