All comics by Tigerchild

Profile

 

by Tigerchild
7-23-03
That was "1985" a play originally written by Spike Milligan for BBC Radio and starred Tigerchild as Ms. TC Greenslade
It was a laugh, it's nice to play the "Bad Girl"
Sw1tchbl8 as Vision Master Ronny Waldman
For once I lived up to my persona's name
Tom Powers as Winston Seagoon
This is the first time I've played the anti-hero, it was OK, but I was worried for awhile they would actually hurt me

 

by Tigerchild
7-23-03
Little Bro as Little Bluebottle
It was OK, I think I could have done with more lines, but hey, it's only a three panel comic strip
And Miss Jennifer Lopez as herself
I don't think it's fair that I was the one who had to be deformed!
No animals were harmed during the making of the comic
thank god for tha...why are you looking at me like that?
Goody! Goody! Tigerchild brought me a snack!!

 

by Tigerchild
7-26-03
Y'know what? i'm getting sick to the back teeth of this whole Iraq thing
yeah, but there's nothing we can do about it
Not so! I've devised a plan and all will be well... now what we're going to do is...
My God! It's GENIUS!
* We would like to thank the late great Welshman Harry Secombe for that line
Her idea was to drop 1999 calendars on the troops, making them think the war hadn't even started! *

 

by Tigerchild
7-27-03
eww
yuck
gross

 

by Tigerchild
7-31-03
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
What's she doing in there?
trust me you don't want to know
What? Is she having sex in there or something?
No, nothing like that...

 

by Tigerchild
8-01-03
Hey Sw1tch!
So you're out now.
yeah, why?
what were you doing? Did you get laid or something?
Nope, I didn't get laid, I got paid
Oh, I see

 

by Tigerchild
8-18-03
Today, I'm going to the cinema to see "Pirates of the Carabien"
it combines my two favourite themes
Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp!

 

by Tigerchild
8-18-03
I suppose it's possible, I suppose you could split a beer atom
a few scenes later
now all I have to do is split this beer atom....where's that chisel?

 

by Tigerchild
8-28-03
I can understand if you're now busy with college work
and it's OK that you haven't written for a while
but, Chris, do you think you could've at least let me know what you've changed your e-mail address to? Come on!

 

by Tigerchild
9-01-03
I can't take it anymore!
No-one appreciates how hard I've worked over the years to build up this "I don't care" outer shell
No-one sees there's anything more to me, they look at the eyes with the blank expression and don't bother to ask "What made them blank?"

 

by Tigerchild
9-01-03
No more I say! It's over!
I've had my fill of being a door mat for self centered bastards who try to ruin my life! I say Fuck them! Fuck the whole lot of them!
We're not children anymore, so get a life you sad fucks!

 

by Tigerchild
9-04-03
#yo-o-ou stole ma bo-oy fri-end! Give he-e-em beck you be-e-etch!#
#He don't waaaaant you no more you *beep*! he's ma man no-o-ow!#
#Now calm do-o-o-own, you paaaaaaaair of trailer trash whiners! I alone am the star of this shoooow! So now it's time for my fiiiiiiinal thought!#
#You will all listen whilst I give useless advice, and end this show with my fa-a-a-ans complementing MEEEEEEEE!#

 

by Tigerchild
9-06-03
good greif, what the hell are you playing?
Eternal Damnation Part 4: The Return of the Revenge of the Son of the Lesbian Vampire Killers

 

by Tigerchild
9-06-03
this the view from our hotel
and that's the view from the train
and THAT'S where you'r 4 times great grandfather was buried!

 

by Tigerchild
9-06-03
...apparently, he lived in Glasgow and actually knew Makintosh!
and after he was married he had three children all in the same year, 1844
Mum, that's great and all, but can we PLEASE see the rest of the photos?

 

by Tigerchild
9-07-03
...and this is where he lived!
...and this is where he was born!
Mum! Can we PLEASE move on from the family hiostory photos?

 

by Tigerchild
9-07-03
...and this is where he lived!
...and this is where he was born!
Mum! Can we PLEASE move on from the family hiostory photos?

 

by Tigerchild
9-07-03
Ah, Welcome! Welcome everyone to Death Race 2000!
We've got an exciting race ahead of us! For those of you only just deemed old enough to watch here are the rules
Our drivers (with the help of their navigators) will try to reach DC on September 12th, killing as many people as possible for points! Aside from pedestrians, they are also allowed to kill each other!

 

by Tigerchild
9-07-03
Now, for our older viewers the points system has been updated as follows: Men are now worth 15 more points than last year, that's 55 points
And not before time! What about the rest?
Women are now worth 62 points, children are worth 70, OAP's have been updated from 90 to 100 points each!
What an exciting race this promises to be Tigerchild!
Indeed it does. And, finally, my close personal friend, Tom Powers, seen here next to me is worth 5 points if you hit him and 10 if he tries to run.
Hey!

 

by Tigerchild
9-07-03
And here I am at the starting point. First up is Boom Boom Ben. How does it feel to be in this year's Death Race?
Well, let me tell you Tigerchild, I'm really excited, can't wait to start
Well, Ben, I can call you Ben can't I? Or do you preferr Boom Boom?
Well, YOU can call me Boom Boom, Tigerchild
Right, anyway, think you'll make it to DC?
I aim to, Tigerchild, and I aim to rack up a huge score!

 

by Tigerchild
9-07-03
*Please note that due to my unwillingness to be sued
And here is Avenging Angel Alex!!* Alex, are you planning on taking a new route this year?
Yes indeed, Tigerchild
the fact that I can't remember much about the film except the racing
Pray, tell us what you're planning
Well, this year, my navigator, Hell's Angel Hank, have decided to take more roads through the cities, less country roads, and generally going through more populated areas than last year
and the fact that this site only has 3 panels, the story has been changed
Fascinating! Well, good luck to you Avenging Angel Alex!
Thank you, Tigerchild!

 

by Tigerchild
9-08-03
Ladies and gentlemen, We're very priveliged to have with us today, the only survivour of last years race; the man for whom death is a joke; that top racer, Frankenstein!
Tigerchild.
Frankenstein, is it true that you once again had surgery in the alps?
yes, it is
and as you now have a new robotic arm that can change gear 20 times faster than a human hand, would you say your chances are improved?
yes I would

 

by Tigerchild
9-11-03
I've skipped a lot of the movie due to the fact that it's very difficult to show people being run down. So, enjoy the ending
WOW! Frankenstein has just killed Mr. President! Giving him the highest score ever in the history of the race!
So, Mr. President Frankenstein, what will you're first order be?
well, Tigerchild, my first act as president will be the abolishment of the Death Race!
But Mr. President Frankenstein, the race is what makes America great! The public adore it!
We're abolishing the race. No further comments

 

by Tigerchild
9-13-03
me-OOOOOOOOWWW! mewmewmewmew!
Re-OOOOOWWWWL!
Me-e-e-e-e-ew! Wwwwrowl!

 

by Tigerchild
9-13-03
ME-OW! MEEEEEEEOW! ROWWWWL!
Thank you very much! I'm here all week!
Good moring, beloved owner, Tigerchild! Why so tired?
Izzy, I think we need to talk...

 

by Tigerchild
9-13-03
what do we need to talk about?
the racket you were making at 3 a.m this morning
oh the cat opera. did you like it?
Izzy, it's about that...
what? You didn't like "ode to nighttime hunting"?
Look, Izzy, I don't know why you've suddenly felt the urge to start singing cat operas at 3 a.m in the morning but CUT IT OUT!

 

by Tigerchild
9-14-03
Fine! I don't want to live with an owner who doesn't appreciate my mew-sical talent!
Fine! Don't let the door hit your tail on the way out!
Later...
What's this? "I am an orphaned stray, please take me in and feed me?"
mew!
Wait a minute..you're TC's cat! Come back here!
time to split!

 

by Tigerchild
9-17-03
*sobs* I want to go hoooooome! It's lonely out here and I'm cooooold! and.... huh?
Izzy!?
T-Tigerchild?
Izzy! There you are.
Tigerchild, if I promise not to sing until 6 a.m can I come home?
It's a deal! Now, I've got a tin of tuna cod and carrot with your name on it, come on

 

by Tigerchild
9-18-03
Emily tries, but misunderstands
She's often inclined top borrow somebody's dreams 'til tomorrow
There is no 'other day', let's try it another way. You'll lose your MIND and play free games for May see-e-e Emily play.

 

by Tigerchild
9-19-03
Exit light! Enter night!
what the -?
Tom, Why is there a blond bloke singing 'Enter Sandman' in the living room?
He's a religious doorknocker
How many times have I told you? You take the pamphlet from them but then you close the door in their face!
But he's paying me £50

 

by Tigerchild
9-21-03
What the-? Who the hell are you two?
We are lost. We were on a quest tO Mordor to destroy The Ring and save Middle Earth
But we ran into orcs and ran and found ourselves at your door. The young man invited us in
A few minutes later...
How many times do I have to say it Tom? No freaky people in the house after 9pm!
But they were being chased by orcs!

 

by Tigerchild
9-25-03
EVERYONE OUT!!
Why do I get the feeling that my house being on fire is something to do with you and your funny little friend?
We threw the ring into the pit of fire in your basement
That WEASN'T a pit of fire! That was my FURNACE!
Oops. Sorry

 

by Tigerchild
9-29-03
OK. I'm going to count to 5, and if one of your other friends hasn't turned up to get you I'll personally strangle you and blow litrature!
you wouldn't, really would you?
1!
but I was only reacting to how Tolkien wrote me!
If I were you I'd start running. I@ve been known to scratch deep when I'm angry
I'll be going then...

 

by Tigerchild
9-30-03
someone told me once that if I put enough explosions into something, no-one cares what it's about
Is it true? can I say whatever I want if the violence is on the screen?
it'd be a pretty cool concept, wouldn't it?

 

by Tigerchild
10-01-03
Yes it was the night of the big Britany Spears concert. It started off with her singing a retro song....
#Ten tiny fingers! Ten Tiny toes! Two angel faces, each with a turned up nose!#
when suddenly...
Was that supposed to happen?
did we get her?
we got her!

 

by Tigerchild
10-01-03
WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT!
WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT!
Excuse me, WHAT did you do?
what do we do?
I don't know! YOU think of something!

 

by Tigerchild
10-01-03
oh dear god no!
ummm....you see officer, we've..um... Just had sex for the first time!
really?
*This never happens but I bet some of you wish it did!
yeah! see, we....um...got so horny that we did it out here in the car park, in the middle of the night!
got any proof?*

 

by Tigerchild
10-01-03
yeah! I can! See, my girlfriend's got a birthmark on her stomach shaped like a star!
that true miss?
yeah, actually.
swish!
alright then, carry on

 

by Tigerchild
10-01-03
did you see how I handled that?
I have a question.
what?
how in the hell did you know I've got a star shaped birthmark on my stomach?
... I saw you in the shower once...
you PERV!

 

by Tigerchild
10-02-03
hey, how'd they rebuild the house so quick?
one of the advantages of living a a comic
I've been thinking, what if we kill off ALL the pop princesses and boybands? It'd be wonderful!
umm...
and that's how the rampage was started...

 

by Tigerchild
10-02-03
Personally, I'd have been happy to stop with killing Britany Spears, but it got Tom started omn a pop killing spree...
but Tom went on to kill Blue
and a spice girls tribute band

 

by Tigerchild
10-03-03
and evetnually, something great came out of the pop killing spree... We ended up on Great Crimes and Trials!
neat!
TC! TC! We're on!
"...they fooled the police at the scene by claiming they were a young couple who'd just had sex for the first time..."

 

by Tigerchild
10-03-03
oh, hello.
hi
So... who are you?
I'm a friend of Tom's from school. He invited me to stay while my flat is being re-wired
I see... How long are you visiting for?
they said I can't go back for a few weeks

 

by Tigerchild
10-03-03
Hey Tommy boy!
what's up TC? You're looking awfully happy
oh, I met your friend in the lving room
oh, Michael. Should I kick him out? I still remember how mad you got with those hobbits
are you kidding? I don't want this one to leave
uh...O-kay

 

by Tigerchild
10-04-03
baby, when you're gone
i realise I'm in love
days go on and on and the nights just seem sooo long
even food don't taste that goood. Things ain't going like they should
things just feel so wrong
baby, when you're gone

 

by Tigerchild
10-05-03
so, what the deal with you and that girl?
who? Tigerchild? Nothing, we're just friends.
but you share a bedroom! Isn't that a bit suspect?
yeah, we share the bedroom but we don't share the bed.
why?
because the last time I tried to get into bed with her I ended up in intensive care for three weeks

 

by Tigerchild
10-05-03
what were you in intensive care for?
three broken ribs, a fractured pelvis and a collapsed lung
she did that just because you tried to share her bed?
well, no, I tried to kiss her too
you tried to kiss her? ...... what was it like?
I don't know, She woke up, freaked and then I woke up in hospital

 

by Tigerchild
10-06-03
are tough pinapples getting you down?
is your lack of ability to get at the fruit making your life a misery?
then use Del Ponte's Pinapple Skin Softener!
The ONLY fruit cream garunteed to make the pinapple skin peelable!
...tell me again why we're advertising this shit?
they're holding the television hostage until we do

 

by Tigerchild
10-07-03
ba ba
what the fuck?
TC, why's there a baby in the living room?
because it's considered inhuman to put them in the airing cupboard
hearty ha ha, you know what I mean
it's my baby cousin, I'm baby sitting her

 

by Tigerchild
10-08-03
There she is!
grab her quick!
She's got my Mortiis CD! Anya! Don't put that in your mouth!
I got her chair!
oh no! she's gone again!
Where'd she go now?

Showing page 4.

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