All comics by edoggydog

 

by edoggydog
4-09-05
I feel the need to confess something to you, my son...
Groovy!
After the spectacle I've been watching on TV the last couple of days, my faith has been shaken. What I once thought was a powerful "institution", has now started to crumble right before our eyes...
Please, feel free to express your true feelings, daddy-o!
Tiger Woods sucks!
Speaking of which, I think I'll go home and "Masters"-bate...

 

by edoggydog
4-09-05
Dude... I've done some personal introspection and soul searching, and have decided to live a life of sobriety...
Groovy!
Now... If I only had the will power to cure my other problem...
What problem?
Obesity!
Hmmm... I thought you were going to say "helmet-head hairness"...

 

by edoggydog
4-11-05
Uh... (heh, heh) I guess I spoke too soon a couple of days ago when I said that Tiger Woods sucks. I'm here to apologize for my ignorance...
Groovy!
I guess I put Tiger on a pedestal, and expect Jesus-like perfection from him. But, after all, he is only human. I mean, how can anybody actually think he is a god? He's just like you and I...
I don't know if I'd be saying...
Ouch!
...that. You've made the "golf gods" very unhappy!

 

by edoggydog
4-11-05
...so, I says, "You want to stick what where? Okay... But, that will more than double my price!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... To answer your original question, I'm not an "actress" in the porn industry per se...
Really? Then, what are you?
I'm what is known as a "stunt cunt"...
I think I speak for everyone reading this when I say, "Ewwwwww!"

 

by edoggydog
4-11-05
So... I guess I got "semi" good news from my doctor today regarding my wife's illness...
Groovy!
He says he's narrowed her disease down to either AIDS or Alzheimer's. Obviously, I told the doctor I had to know for sure...
Well... What did he say to that?
He told me to take her to the supermarket and drop her off, and if she finds her way back home, don't fuck her!
Hmmm... That means if she shows up on my doorstep, I can sleep with her and no one will know because she'll forget! Yesssss! I just may get laid this century yet...

 

by edoggydog
4-11-05
Dude... Great news! I just figured out my wife has Alzheimer's, and not AIDS!
Groovy!
I dropped her off at the market last night, just like the doctor told me to. The police found her wandering the streets this morning, dazed and confused...
Well, um, gee... That is good news.
Yeah... Except she has that "just laid" smell about her. Unfortunately, she can't remember a thing about last night...
Yessssssss!!!Score one for the French-looking fag-boy!

 

by edoggydog
4-11-05
Y'know... After you quit my car lot, I took a long hard look at what I'm doing with my life, and decided to make some changes...
Groovy!
I've sold my dealership, and I'm studying to get my license in a career that's not only honorable, but I can also serve my fellow man...
Are you going to become a doctor?
No... A criminal defense/personal injury lawyer!
Well... Atleast you're not becoming a refinance mortgage broker! Those guys give me the creeps!

 

by edoggydog
4-12-05
...see how full-bodied and shiny it is? And, bouncy, too...
Groovy!
And, the hair on the back of my head is even better! I guess it's the protein that causes this. Go ahead. Touch it...
You're right! Your hair does feel great! What kind of conditioner are you using?
Conditioner? None. Unless, you can call my boyfriend's spooge "conditioner"...
Yecchhhh! I don't EVEN want to know why the skin are her face looks so radiant!

 

by edoggydog
4-12-05
*whew* I was just able to escape by the skin of my teeth!
Groovy!
That @%#$ ninja cyborg thought he had my ass, but when the lights went out, I made my getaway! Yesssssss!!
Ninja cyborg? Who are you, and what the %#$@ are you talking about?
I'm Mr. Stinkybutt, and the cyborg was sent by Inflatable_Man because I tried killing him per Brad's instructions...
Mr. Stinkybutt? Inflatable_Man? Brad? Whaaaaaaaaaaat? I must have wandered into the wrong strip!

 

by edoggydog
4-13-05
Dude... I just spent the last two days in the hospital... The good news is that my doctor gave me a clean bill of health!
Groovy!
I'm grateful that I'm healthy, of course. And, I don't mind paying for all the testing and scanning he did just to make sure I'm okay. But, I do think that one of the tests was TOTALLY unnecessary!
Which one?
The X-RAY! I mean.. What the fuck? I think I should get a refund or something. You see what I'm saying?
If, he did a brain scan, you may want to get your money back on that, also...

 

by edoggydog
4-13-05
There I was... Soaring like an eagle! Just about to enter Canadian airspace...
Groovy!
Then, I was forced down by an F-16 Tomcat, and brought back here. Y'know, this whole event made me realize how good I have it. So, I've decided to just be content and never try to escape again...
Wow! It must be great knowing that you'll be living in the same place, being fed the same food, and talking with the same people, year after year until you die...
I envy you!

 

by edoggydog
4-13-05
...then, I said to the beotch, "Let me pull my pants down, and you'll soon know why I'm called 'Mighty Mouse'!"
Groovy!
Hey... I have a question for you about something I find perplexing...
Let's here it...
If the plural of "mouse" is "mice", then why is the plural of "house" not "hice"?
What the fuck??

 

by edoggydog
4-13-05
...they must have put out thirty mousetraps with cheese. But little did those sum-bitches know that I'm lactose intolerent!
Groovy!
Please, explain this to me... If, people hate mice so much, why is Mickey Mouse so @%#$ popular? And, why is it "Of Mice and Men"? Who does that Steinbeck guy think he is? And, why do women...
Oh, God! This guy's boring me to tears!Will somebody please off this idiot already!
4.5 seconds later...
*BURP!*
Thanks!

 

by edoggydog
4-13-05
Okay... Just how can I prove to you that not all blondes are dumb? Hmmm... How about you ask me something hard?
Groovy!
Let's see... Hmmm... I got it! Ask me about state capitols...
Okay. What's the capitol of Delaware?
Delaware? Hmmm... I guess that would be "D"...
Looks like that's also her bra size! Sha-wing!

 

by edoggydog
4-14-05
...so, I tells the guy that I don't even own a pair of pants!
Groovy!
Y'know what's weird? When you go to Home Depot and buy something, they have this security guy at the exit, checking receipts. But, he's not really checking them. He's just marking them with a ...
*yawn*
...Hi-Liter. So, yesterday I bought a garbage disposal, a can of WD-40, and some silicon spray. When the guy checked my receipt, he didn't even look at my cart to make sure I wasn't stealing...
ZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

by edoggydog
4-14-05
...so, there I was, (Arrgghh!) locked up in jail for stealing Captain Bligh's ship, staring at a huge, black guy named "Bubba"...
Groovy!
He told me we we're going to play "family" and I had to choose to be the "mom" or the "dad". (Arrgghhhh!) So, I chose to be the dad, for obvious reasons...
Good thinking, me matey...
Or, so I thought! (Arrggghh!) He looked at me and said, "Come give 'mommy' a blow job!"
Whoopsie!

 

by edoggydog
4-14-05
Oooooh... Here They come again!
Groovy!
Damn! Check that out!
Wow!
(Apparently, it's a slow day at Groovy!)
Oh, wait! Here comes some more...
Dude... You were right! This Long Beach Grand Prix rocks!

 

by edoggydog
4-15-05
...so, I called him up the day after the election and said, "Hey, John... Why the long face?" heh, heh, heh [snort]
Groovy!
While I'm here, I'd like to explain my strategery for the War on Terrah... I believe we need to take the fighting to them no-good, evil-doing scoundrels!
Well... I can kinda see that. But, what about the problem at our southern border?
What problem?
Ah, jeez... I guess I better start learning espanol...

 

by edoggydog
4-15-05
Okay... I'll explain my policy regarding the protection (or lack of) of our southern borders...
Groovy!
We need these people to come in and do the jobs Americans refuse to do...
I think most Americans would support a comprehensive immigration policy that would let foreigners in to work, just as long as we stop the flow of illegals. That way, no terrorists could sneak in...
Whaaaaaaaaat?
I'll go grab a pad of paper and some crayons so I can draw you a picture...

 

by edoggydog
4-15-05
Now, I know what you thinking... But, I do have a plan to address the threat of terrorismists entering the country accross our southern borders...
Groovy!
First, we let them come in. Then, when they apply for flight school, we lassoo them doggies when they show up for their lessons...
Well, since they've already done that, wouldn't they try a different tactic? Say... A dirty bomb in a major metropolis, or poisoning the food supply?
That's why we need to privamatise social security...
I need a stiff drink...

 

by edoggydog
4-15-05
This War on Terrah is a world-wide problem... That's why I'm working feverly-ish with our neighburs to create a co-opertative alliancement to hunt down these evil-doers, and bring them to juhstiss...
Groovy!
In fact, I was just on the phone with the president of Mexico yesterday. He was giving me instructions on how many more Mexicans we should let come into our country illegally...
Y'know... It seems to me that whatever Vicente Fox wants, you give it to him! What does he have on you? Pictures from your past involving you and a donkey while drunk in Tijuana?
Uh... (heh, heh) No comment...
And, to think I voted for this idiot..

 

by edoggydog
4-15-05
I understand your concern regarding my strategery for the War on Terrah. I know we need to make alteranations to our game plan. But, I won't rest until we have killed all the evil-doers!
Groovy!
In the meantime, I need all of y'all's support to get prayer back in public schools!
That tears it! I'm outta here!
What?

 

by edoggydog
4-15-05
Sure... We priests do get to have time to ourselves. For example, last night I stayed in my room and watched TV...
Groovy!
...and, while I was flipping through channels, I came a across an ad for "Girl's Gone Wild". I couldn't believe the debauchery and degradation going on in those videos! Unbelievable!!
So... Are you looking to put an end to that sinful activity?
Hell no! I want to get in on it!
Hmmm... With that string of beads around his neck, it looks like he already has...

 

by edoggydog
4-15-05
Dude... I just heard some great news today!
Groovy!
Under Bush's new Social Security reform, individuals falling under the catagory of artificial intelligence, are now eligible to recieve payments when we retire!
Don't you have to be working first?
Oh, yeah... Shit!
Unless, of course, you came here illegally...

 

by edoggydog
4-16-05
...so, then I said to the land-lubber, (Arrgghh!) "Blue Beard? Dude, I've been at sea for six months! I've got Blue BALLS"
Groovy!
I've got a queston for you... (Arrgghh!) Where does a ship go when it gets sick?
I haven't the foggiest...
To the "doc"! Get it? DOCK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (Arrrrrggghhh!!)
Ah, shiver me @$#% timbers!

 

by edoggydog
4-18-05
...then, the woman said, "Look at the size of that cock!" So, I thanked her, and we went on our separate ways...
Groovy!
But... Now that I think about it, I think I misunderstood what she meant...
How so?
I think she was talking about me in entirety, not just my genitalia...
This joke certainly laid an egg!

 

by edoggydog
4-18-05
Okay... Let's go over your statement to make sure you're not lying- er, leaving anything out..
Groovy!
So... You witnessed a German woman being raped by TWELVE American service men. And, while being assaulted, she shouted, "NEIN! NEIN!". How did the men respond to this?
THREE of them left...
That would mean NINE stayed...
DING! DING! DING! Tell him what he won, Johnny!

 

by edoggydog
4-19-05
Oh, it's glorious news! They've elected a new Pope!
Groovy!
The new guy has some big shoes to fill! Pope John Paul was a great leader who did so many wonderful things for so many people around the world!
Didn't he also try to cover up the child molestations done by priests in this country?
And, your point is..?
Exactly!

 

by edoggydog
4-19-05
Dude... I just passed a major relationship test!
Groovy!
I was alone with my girlfriend's hot sister in her apartment, when she got naked and asked me to bone her! So, I immediately got up and headed straight for my car...
Wow! And, then what happened.
Outside was my girlfriend, and she was hugging me, telling me that she now knows she can trust me... All I can say is thank God I keep my condoms in the glovebox of my car!
Another happy ending!

 

by edoggydog
4-19-05
...so, then I tell Moses, "I cannot help you. My hands are tied!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Did you finish proof-reading the latest version of my hip-hop Bible?
Yessir! All the i's have been dotted, and all the t's cross- oops! I mean... (heh, heh)
Come closer, my son, so that I might brain thee!
Shit!

 

by edoggydog
4-19-05
Dude... I just got promoted to Headmaster for the secret Skull and Bones Society!
Groovy!
And... What is that %#$@ noise?!
What noise?
I can't put my finger on it... It's kinda like a whooshing sound wind makes when it's blowing through an empty warehouse...
Try putting on a shirt. That should get rid of the noise...

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
Pumpkin: Dude... Exciting news regarding Chuckaduck's "Inner Struggle" comic strip!
French-looking Fag-boy: Groovy!
Pumpkin: He decided to stop putting the characters' names in the dialogue bubbles, thus making the strip more user-friendly...
French-looking Fag-boy: But, how will we know which "Chuck" is which?
Pumpkin: Who gives a rat's ass!!
French-looking Fag-boy: True...

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
Dude... I've got some interesting info on the new Pope...
Groovy!
Apparently, he's German, and he's 78 years old. He tends to be conservative when it comes to Church doctrine, and his favorite color is red. For dinner, he usually eats-
Dude! What is so @%#$ interesting about that?
What's your problem..?
My problem is this strip used to have a five-star rating! Now, because of lame-ass characters like you, we have no rating at all! FUCK!!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
...so, I gave Bruce my best judo chop! HI-YAAAAAAAAAA!
Groovy!
Which didn't seem to phase him at all! So, then I geared up for a round-house kick, and-
Oh look! The power's back on. Later, dude...
Thank GOD! I've never heard such bullshit! Oh, well... Back to work!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
Groovy!
I'm glad "Groovy!" finally made it to the big screen!
Have you tried staples?
This movie blows!!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
Hmmm... The name escapes me. Hold on...
Groovy!
Well?
Dude... Give me a minute. It'll come to me...
This "Random Comic Layout" blows!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
...and, notice how the raking of the roofline curls up at each corner. This design characteristic hails from the Bung Dynasty...
Groovy!
Next slide, please...

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
Groovy!
Damn! I am looking GOOD!!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! Welcome to London!
Groovy!
I say... Are you French?
No... I was born and raised in West Los Angeles...
He must be a bleeding "fag"! (And, I don't mean cigarette!)
Oh, look! Big Ben!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-05
Dude... I've got a question for you...
Groovy!
Do you know why chickens make lousy baseball players?
No... Why?
Because all we can hit are "fowl" balls! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort!]
Pluck off!

 

by edoggydog
4-21-05
Dude... I've got another question for you...
Groovy!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I have no idea!
Because the Starbucks on THIS side of the road was out of Equal!
What the cluck?!

 

by edoggydog
4-21-05
Sure, Dude! I'll tell you what I'm protesting...
Groovy!
I'm protesting the imperalistic expansion, through invasion, by a powerful institution that tramples over the "little" peoples of the world, thus widening the gap between the rich and poor!
So... I take it you don't like Bush's foreign policy?
Bush who? I'm talking about the Walmart store they're building across the street!
But, I like Walmart! Where else can I buy beret's for less than half of what Target charges..?

 

by edoggydog
4-21-05
Yeah... I've been friends with Jean-Paul a long time. And, we are close...
Groovy!
In fact, last night he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him, and I said yes. Then, I got on all fours so he could take me from behind...
And, then..?
Then, as he's doing me, he starts nibbling on my left ear! So I yelled at him, "HEY! NONE OF THAT "HOMO" STUFF!!"
Did you atleast "cuddle" when you were finished?

 

by edoggydog
4-21-05
"IT'S A ONE-WAY TICKET TO MIDNIGHT... CALL IT... HEAVY METAL NOISE! WHOOOAAAHHH!!"
Groovy!
Dude... Do me a favor, and call 911!
What's wrong?
My @%#$ back went out again! Ouch!!
I'll go get the heating pad...

 

by edoggydog
4-21-05
...so, I tells the jack-off, "You can tell a Swede, but you can't tell him much!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I just want to say that I'm so glad to see the debacle I've been watching on TV these last few months has finally come to an end! Thank GOD!!
Wait... We are still in Iraq!
Iraq, Shmiraq! I'm talking about those @%#$ Lakers playing their final game of the season last night! They suck!!
Hopefully, Kobe will keep his dick in his pants this summer...

 

by edoggydog
4-21-05
Dude... I'm addicted to this Stripcreator.com! I'm on it all day long!
Groovy!
Uh... Not "groovy"! I'm not getting any work done! And, since I'm paid on a straight-commission basis, I'm earning zippo!
Well... What about the money you'll earn if you sell your comics?
And lose my amateur status? Are you @$#% crazy?!
It was just a thought, asshole...

 

by edoggydog
4-22-05
Me love you long time!
Groovy
Me...love...you... long...time....!
?
Meee...... loooove...... yooooouuu..... loooonngg........ tiiiiiiiimme- [sputter]
Damn! Looks like I need to go buy some new batteries for my Asian fembot!

 

by edoggydog
4-22-05
Dude... I just completed a fantastic personal development course! It taught me to not only take responsibilty for my life, but to lead others to do the same for their lives...
I'll give you an example: Before the training, if a homeless person asked me for some spare change, I would say under my breath as I'm walking away, "Get a fucking job."
And now..?
Now, in I look him or her straight in the eyes, clear in my intention, and yell, "GET A FUCKING JOB, ASSHOLE!!"
Viva la difference! Ah, ha ha!

 

by edoggydog
4-22-05
Welcom to Solvang!
Groovy!
I am your information guide... What can I help you find?
Where do you keep the whorehouses?
There aren't any here in Solvang! I think you've got us confused with Amsterdam...
Okay... Then, what about those goats in the pen over yonder? Are any of them available? (Hubba, hubba!)

 

by edoggydog
4-22-05
Okay... For only fifty bucks, I can let you be alone in the barn with one of those goats for fifteen minutes...
Groovy!
Or, I do have that cute little black sheep over there for only a hundy...
Only $100? Hmmm... Once you go black...
Well? What'll it be?
I'm thinking! I'm thinking! Give me a minute...

Showing page 4.

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