All comics by Beeko180

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by Beeko180
5-15-09
So let me get this straight, you want me to eat this apple?
Yes. And I'd appreciate it if you eat it really quickly too.
Why's that?
Why don't ask the pile of corpses to the right of this panel?

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Martha, we've been going through life on fast forward for a long time now. So I was wondering if we could take the next step.
I'll be waiting.
No wait!
What is it honey?
Can you pass me the Tim Tams? I'm starving!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Uuurghk! Aak! Help me!
Is it ok if I wait until the ending?
I don't see why not.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
I have six dices. One of them is blue. How many are pink?
The police are outside.
With a television set... and a Jack Rabbit.
*sniff sniff*
It was me.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Now Remember, Marty. Knock with a quiet tap and don't tip the house onto it's side.
Ok Ma.
MARTIN SCOTT! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT MYSELF?!?!?!
I dunno, about 50 I guess.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Mummy said fat people don't have a chance of getting skinny again.
Well you go tell your mummy that she can get screwed.
Ok!
Dude, you better run for it. That lady has a Battering Ram!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Come on Randy! We're going to Disney Land!
Where, on the way, twists and turns will be subject to violent thunder storms and green goblins with gleaming red shoes.
I LOVE YOU RANDY!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Wow, we need to do some spring cleaning!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
c'mon, open you stupid thing... Oh damn it! DAMN IT TO HELL!!!!
It's changing ever so gradually.
What is?
The shadow beneath my chin.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
SLAM!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Captain, this is terrifyingly absurd!
Not when your filming it!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
And what ever happened to Captain Algren you say?
Some say he died of his wounds.
But I like to think. That he found the pot of gold beneath his chin. The small measure of happiness, that few of us, ever find.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
What the hell is that on the windshield?!?!?!?
[moans]
I think you ran over something.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Almost there.
WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Reach behind the seat and get me that rifle will ya.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
HERE WE ARE!
Do you mean "here we are" as in the immediate introduction to a completely new location or scene?...
Or do you mean "here we are" as in we've arrived?
Cause, I can't... really, understand what your interpretation of the exact phrase is for this particular comic strip. Could you like, give me a little bit more detail?
If I'm ever bored of life, you should be the reason as to why I commit suicide.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Ok, we know that we're at Disney Land. Now all we have to do is-
This way...

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Ok, these are the shops. Let's go into one and steal a bunch of stuff.
After we'll find Mickey Mouse.
Why would you want to-
He has the key to a very big liquor cabinet.

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Here we are. You got the stuff?
Why: YES I DO!
Great, pass me the bag, and we'll get started.
Here you go.
Time Lapse initiation in:
5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2. . . 1. . .

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
hmmmm
What is in that bag fine customer of The Living Arche?
None of your business, meaty chunky chewy, flesh.... so tasty.... must rip head off....
RUN, RANDY, RUN!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
That was the BEST shoplifting trip EVER!
It sure was Ziggy!
Now let's go grab something to eat before we go for a ride on something.
Only then will you truly have enough prestige to pass the final test master whatsusname...
Ye- Wait what?

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
WEEEEEE!!!!!!!
I LOVE THIS RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-15-09
Now that was just brilliant. I absolutely, positively LOVED that ride!
Did ya... Did ya, see that... that back... back there?
IT WAS GOLD!!!!
You can say anything and it'll work like that.
I PISSED MY PANTS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE TODAY!!!!!!
*odoriferous wink*

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
I feel very obligated to tell you that Mickey Mouse is in fact right behind me.
SUPER!
Although a melodramatic scene would be somewhat incomplete with the reader knowing...
Who gives a damn, now let's create a diversion to therefore distract the reader from all attention to the eminent future.
It wasn't me...

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
"Why hello weary traveller of the fabulous Disney Land! I hope you brought some mittens, because it's SUPER SNOWY today!!!"
Cut the small talk, you hideous sack of sheep fur, tell me where the damn key is or I'll pound your head inside out.
"HELP ME, HELP ME, THIS MAN'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!"

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
You're cornered, give it up and you don't get hurt.
"BOY, I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF HE-"
Now direct me to the liquor cabinet fine sir!

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
Gee Ziggy, that was the most GRANDEST vacation EVER!
You didn't happen to bring some duck tape with you did you?

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
Well, we're home. That was easier said than done!
And CHECK IT OUT MAN, OUR NEW BAR LOOKS GROOOOOOOOVY!!!
You think so huh???

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
I've never felt this way about anyone before.
You know that feeling you get when you feel sick about someone?
Not a "help help, get the bucket I hate this guy" sick, I mean like the sort of sick you feel when you sort of "like" someone.
I killed him in the end.

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
I hate Mondays.
I only realised such, when I looked at who's turn it was to wash up the dishes this evening.

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
I had a panic attack the other day.
I dropped my keys on the ground as I hopped into my SUV, the doors somehow "locked" and I was forced to sleep inside a car for 6 weeks.
By the time they removed me I had to be taken to the royal hospital for CPR treatment.
They said that doing it at the scene wasn't a very "private" location.

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
Oh look, it's a lizard.
Hardy har har!
WELL GUESS WHAT!!!!
Oops, my pants fell down.

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
Mama! You just killed a bear.
Put an arrow through it's head.
Took the arrow, left it for dead.
It's not my fault everybody. It kicked me there. Where you put underwear!
And it feels like Molten Lava there!

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
What's with the teeth?
Well , doggy heaven doesn't have a very good dental plan. So they had to resort to giving me these shark teeth.
But that sounds extremely illogical doesn't it?
Not when you're bribed $42 an hour!

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
Hello, oh it's you again.
Look, I don't want to buy anything, so get the hell off my property.
You're lucky you're still here. I'll call the cops if you don't leave by the time I-
UNNGH!

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
Sammy, get in here this instant! By the time I count to 3 you had better be right in front of me!
Ready in 1... 2...
...3!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-16-09
Yu may have noticed this, but humans enjoy pushing buttons, pulling levers and even flicking switches.
I've been doing some research lately and it turns out that the act of pushing a button or any such object is somehow related to that of killing people.
Now, stay with me here. I've been testing out this result and apparently people who are in jail have done less button pushing or such, than people who aren't.
This is all over my head, but you can see from the statistics that this is just a load of collywop and that scientists just have way too much time on their hands.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Hello Donald.
Wh-Wh-Who sa-said th-that???
I did Donald. It seems that halfway through your wedding vows you mentioned my existence.
At first I thought I should simply, let it slip. But on closer inspection you had already done this several times. And you returned home with-
*Flick*
DAMN IT TO HELL!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Mind if you tell me what this is?
Well uuuh... It's a.... uuh....
I don't mean to hurt you when I say this but....
It was delicious wasn't it?
Well you could say that, yes.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
I went to the mall the other day.
I watched from afar, how the old lady would skim the shelves as she groaned and moaned about not having any money for god knows what.
I picked up a bat.
I tried to restrain myself, but the power was overwhelming me!

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Explain.
I don't understand. Explain what?
I asked you how many cannibals does it take to dismember a helpless child.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Good morning class, today we have a special guest. Please say hello to Mr. Robert Darten.
Hello kids.
Drink beer and smoke til you get a stroke.
Have a bright future.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
You ever think about quitting drinking?
Nope.
Really? You haven't even considered it?
If I get a stroke, I can apply for a health care plan.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Wait, so your telling me that I never sinned just to walk into a place where everyone from bad to good live after death?
Exactly my fine human friend.
But look on the bright side...
You won't have to hide your primitive baldness any longer.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Alright, now on that desk is a computer.
A computer?
Yes. A computer allows you to do anything at the push of a button.
FOR THE LAST TIME, WHEN I PUT YOU IN THE TRASH CAN IT MEANS YOU HAVE TO GO FIND MY ENEMY AND KILL THEM!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Now what the hell do I do? The manual doesn't say a word more.
I wonder what he's up to...

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Doesn't it concern you that I'm a cop?
How does it feel to know that you're standing here with a perverted freak in an empty bar?

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Ae you sure there isn't just some sort of miscalculation?
If it were to be a miscalculation, I would be standing here talking to a tree anyway. And the simple fact that nothing like that has happened so far during the process of this conversation...
I'd say that the chances of me talking to a tree at this present moment are quite slim. Thereby answering your question with a brief and well-timed "No".
So you'll take me to the prom?
Give me some time to think about it.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
I slept over someone's house last weekend.
It went all smooth and silent through the night.
But in the end, I suppose waking up early and charging into someone's bedroom with a dagger screaming out words of triumph isn't a very good approach to maturity.

 

by Beeko180
5-17-09
Mr. Lombert sir. I find it amazing how you managed to survive the serious blow to your head. What happened?
I can't remember. I think a hoof kicked my from the side and I slumped on the ground and passed out.
It could have been fatal.
Brace yourself for a dramatic change!

 

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE WINDY?!?!?
by Beeko180, 5-17-09

Showing page 42.

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