All comics by 80_Million_Fleas

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I don't think this is what your friend meant by saying "you need to nail a fat ass."
Just close your eyes and think happy thoughts, Ernie.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-02-07

 

The only way the political situation in the white house could go from worse to even more worse.
OH SWEET JESUS, MY FUCKING BODY IS IN HALF!
KARL ROVE STRIKES AGAIN!
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-02-07

 

...AND GIVE US LORD OUR DAILY RARR, AMEN!
Hey, Father Tobor! You SUCK!
HEY ORGAN SACK WITH ARMS AND LEGS. PIPE DOWN. TOBOR HAS TO BUY CONDO IN THE KEYS.
Pfft. What are you going to do, RAPE ME?
IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME IN THE CHURCH OF ST. SODOMIN?

 

Meow.
I'm gonna pull out my wiener and fuck this cat.

 

Maybe if we reconfigured the communications matrix, we could contact Enterprise.
Brilliant idea, Ensign! While we're at it, I can dip my balls in honey and stick it in a beehive, because we'd be accompishing the same god damn thing!
Thnik before you open your trap. If you red-shirts did more thinking, you'd do less sucking and dying.
Rant all you want, Captain Toupee. I'm still dickin' Uhara.

 

Ice Cube, please.
GAWDDAMNIT!!! YOU'RE THE THIRD ONE THIS HOUR!!! (This is THE last time is use "DJ Ice Products Sold Here" as my pseudeonym.)
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-11-07

 

Times were tough. There were too many DJs and not enough places to DJ. That's when DJ Bashbox got creative.
Yo yo yo Oak Wood Nursing Home! It's TIME to get this party CRUNK.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-11-07

 

Awww yeah! Watch me break it down.
Sir, there's nothing impressive about" scratching" a pizza pie on a plate.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-11-07

 
Tobor always wanted to work for the Dog Pound. Too bad he thought Dog Pound consisted of a Noun AND a Verb.
YIPE YIPE YIPE!!!

 

HOLY RASIN FLAVORED JESUS DANCING ON MOUNTAINS OF MASHED CHEVYS!!
What?
You're... You're looking at flat-chested shemale porn...?
*sigh* You're never going to make it on "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" with those kind of crap improvs.
But it was a joke.. about... gays.. Fuck it. I wonder if Wendy's will hire me back.

 

We now return to Abe Vagota and the Telephone!!!
So, Mr. Telephone. I hear you like Jaaaaazz.
Ahem, I hear you like JAAAZZZ!!!
I HEAR YOU LIKE JAAAAAAAAAAAAZ! GOD DAMNIT PHONE, SPEAK TO ME! DO YOU LIKE THE JAZZ OR NOT?!
Damn, Adult Swim. You'll greenlight anything.

 

Felllow Scientists! I've created the World's first rythmically rhyming robot, TOBOR!
RARR!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Cornhole? You're supposed to be dropping phat beats...
RRAAAARRR!!!! SHUT UP AND BE TOBOR'S BITCH!
If only Dr. Hemnhaw had used spellcheck, Tobor would rap instead of rape.
All those years working.. Gone to waste....

 

Hey. Hey you! Hot buns! Listen to me. LISTEN TO ME.
Crap-Cakes. My telepathy isn't working...
Why won't he just shut the heck up?!
Ah Ha!
Damn!

 

Hey Lisa. Do you think the internet is a determent to an individual's mental acuity?
Moh.

 

Welcome back to the Ultimate Computer Fighting Championship on ESPN 5! Our own Chazz Nutt-Roasting is live with the reigning champion. Chazz?
Thanks, Hektor. Mr. TRS-80, how do you feel about fighting that rising star, the IBookbot?
Pfft? That former hooker? Yeah... I ain't worried.
You heard it from us first. The TRS-80 isn't afraid of Lappy-Headed Hos.

 

Dr. Franky, known for his 9 inch long fingers, thought he'd never see the day when people would enjoy his rectal exams.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 4-30-07

 

What did you get me for Xmas, Mr. Elf Man?
Oh, something I know you'll love.
It's your green penis ain't it?
*sigh* I'm converting to Islam.
Happy Ramadan. Now open the gawd damn box.

 
... This is the worst field trip ever.

 

Hey Hiro from Heroes... Make me a hero.
No.
How about a Po-Boy?
Okay.
80MF really needs to put more forethought into these strips.
Yeah, he sucks.

 

Are you sure this is the right way?
Dude, I know where we're going, I have a map!
I don't think this is way to San Jose.
This could be a problem.
Fuckin' Map Quest...

 

What the fuck are you talking abo--
lol 50 ponts lol
Oh shit!!!
You bastards! You sick, sick bastards!

 
Maybe we should have gotten four cars instead of splitting two cars in half.
Agreed.
Beep!!!

 
Why in the fuck did you invite me to the Gay Races?
Frank, I have something to tell you...

 

Sir, the Gai ship is hailing us.
Patch them through, Lieutenant Sargent.
Surrender your ship to us or be destroyed.
Never! If you think I'll surrender my ship to the Gaize, you have another thing coming. I'd rather stand next to an exploding warp core than have a single Gai set foot upon my ship...
Sir, the Gaize are ramming their ship into our aft section!
Full Starboard! Commander Ke'en, fire torpedos at their residential quarters--Let's see how the Gaize like it when we muss up their furniture!

 

Did you find a way out?
Sadly, no. Within the next 48 hours, the Soviet guards will come in here and kill us both. Unless...
Unless what?
Unless you get on your knees and polish my knob.
Mr. Sanderson, the lengths you'll go to get me inside of your pants is revolting.
What can I say? Dilbert-types like you always get me hard.

 

That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
Everytime I willy wick my weasle, bad things happen to good people.
Detective, I think we found our murder.
Oh snap! I've been had! Penis, hand; you know what's next.

 

This is not what I meant by "having a smoke after sex."
But I love sloppy seconds...
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-16-07

 

Weeelll... Alright. Time to populate the Earth with animals. Let's start with.. a cow. BUZAPP!
Moo.
Awesome, awesome. Let's try a fladangle. Bu---*achoo!*
Nurk nurk!
Oh snap, a fuck up. Hope Maude isn't watching.

 
...and that's what happened to my Nintendo 64.

 

I'm a fringe canadate that has something important to say.
I'm a first tier canadate that avoids questions and talks out of my ass.
I support everything you believe in and have excellent principles.
I'm basically Bush with face pubes and glasses.
Wow! Can you believe what the top tier canidates said? I love those guys! Let's talk about them all day!
I FEEL ASLEEP.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-15-13
Are we still working on finding comedy in its most purist form?
Yes! One with the perfect blend of absurdity, violence, shock, sex, politics, and rubber chickens.
And what might that look like?
Well, we aren't sure quite yet, but we shall continue trial and error testing until the goal is met.
How has your quest for pure comedy been coming along?
Let me answer your question with another question. Have you ever slipped the veil of one's intellect and taboo, only to find the trut--Ahh to hell with it! Butt sex is the funniest thing ever!!!

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-15-13
What is this? A dial up modem?
*eertz!*
Hmmmm... this is either hell or the 1990s.
Y'all got an ee-mail!
Worse. It's Tennesee.

 

by 80_Million_Fleas
11-24-13
What chu' watching there?
CSI.
Very funny. What're you watching next? Honeymooners? Bewitched? America's Funniest Home Videos?
Nope, South Park.

Showing page 5.

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