All comics by Namgubed

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by Namgubed
10-21-02
Well, you all heard what the Retard said ... how do we get to the Wiccan Bitch of the West?
Sensors indicate we should head west, toward that huge black ominous fog-enshrouded mountaintop stone castle.
This fog is as thick as peanut butter!
Don't you mean pea soup, Scarecrow?
You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like! **KABONK!** Ow!
Ooh, sounds like we found the castle! ... and a minor contusion.

 

by Namgubed
10-21-02
Look at this! They left the door wide open!
Maybe it's the service entrance!
... or maybe they're just being careless!
Careless? What crap! I think it's a trap!
Do you really think it might be a trap?
Hmmmm, it's a distinct possibility ...

 

by Namgubed
10-21-02
Hold it right there!
We have you surrounded!
Relp! Raggy!
My goodness, Supertramp, whatever shall we do?
Do what everyone else does.
Yeah. Shut up and get in your dungeon cell!

 

by Namgubed
10-21-02
Sir! We have captured Dorothy and her pathetic little band!
Excellent! Now my evil plan is nearly complete! Prepare Dorothy for interrogation!
Yes, Si - uh - how do I do that, sir?
BATHE HER, AND BRING HER TO ME!
But we have a water shortage due to the drought, sir.
I make a simple request, and now you tell me there's a water shortage. Honestly, what do I pay you people for?

 

by Namgubed
10-22-02
Meanwhile, a deal is struck somewhere in the desert ...
Balaam, here's some money. Now go and curse those Israelites!
Who'd have thought being a prophet could be so profitable?
THOU SHALT NOT CURSE ISRAEL!!
I see your point.
And thus, a phrase is born.
Sorry, Balak. My donkey saw an angel, and then fell over and sprained my ankle.
I'm not paying you to pull lame excuses out of your ass!

 

by Namgubed
10-24-02
You deliberately destroyed my sibling! For that, you will pay dearly ... AND YOUR LITTLE FUCKING DOG, TOO!!
It wasn't my fault the house landed on the Wiccan Bitch of the East; it was an accident!
Liar, liar, pants on fire! Just for that, you will watch as I mortally cornhole your companions one by one! CHAIN HER TO THE WALL!!
You bastard! Just wait 'til I get my hands on -- *oof* !
Dorothy is secured to the wall, sir!
Excellent! NOW BRING HER COMPANIONS TO ME!! ... And you can skip the bathing part this time, OK?

 

by Namgubed
10-24-02
Meanwhile, back in the dungeon ...
Goodness gracious! Who knows what that monster is doing to Dorothy? We've got to break out of here and help her!
If only we could distract the guard long enough to escape unnoticed ... Wait! I have an idea!
* KNOCK! KNOCK! *
What do you want??
Oh, nothing ... just trying to figure out what to do with this brand new AOL 7.0 CD with 1025 free hours ...
Give me that!! *SNAG!* (RUNNING!!)
... OK, the coast is clear! Now I'll just get my axe out of the secret compartment ...

 

by Namgubed
10-28-02
"Thus conscience does make cowards of us all ...
Thanks for taking me on a personal guided tour of the university president's office ...
My pleasure!
And thus the native hue of relsolution is sicklied o'er by the pale cast of thought ...
And this view from the roof of the admin building is simply breathtaking!
SCROE!!
... and enterprises of great pith and moment with this regard their currents turn awry, and lose the name of action."
... But it's geting late, and we should be heading back to the dorms, now.
UN-SCROE!!

 

by Namgubed
10-28-02
HO, HO, HO, HO ...
???
yyyYYYESS !!!
Y'know, people who fininsh their final exams early and feel the need to impersonate Ed McMahon for the rest of the class -- really annoy me.
Word.

 

by Namgubed
10-30-02
*BEEP!*
Uh-oh, looks like Dorothy's in trouble! I'll use my meteorologic transmogrifier to create a diversion!
Uh, Sir, there's a severe hail storm approaching.
So? This is the strongest castle in these lands. We have nothing to fear, unless the storm knocks down the ...
... power lines, Sir?
Yes, you idiot, now get out of my sight ... er, presence!!

 

by Namgubed
10-30-02
Meanwhile, back in the dungeon, Metal Man puts the finishing touches on the prison door ...
**WHACKETY WHACK!**
Don't talk back.
Suddenly ...
Hey, looks like the power's gone out!
Great, now how are we going to find Dorothy?
I know! Supertramp can track her scent! Will you do it for a scooby snack?
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!

 

by Namgubed
10-31-02
Rorothy rover rere!
Supertramp! Thank goodness you found me! But where are the others?
We're right here, Dorothy! Although I can't see a thing - which isn't unusual, on account of my lazy eye ...
I'll need some light, so I can cut those chains!
Ah, but none of you realize that I have an overheating Celeron processor! How about a thousand digits of pi, Scarecrow?
AIEEEE! I AM DIEING!!

 

by Namgubed
10-31-02
Thank goodness I found you! I was having trouble loading --
Do I know you?
Well, no, but like I was saying, I was hav--
This is another computer question, isn't it?
Why yes, of course, but --
WHAT MAKES YOU PEOPLE THINK I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LINUX??

 

by Namgubed
10-31-02
I made a big bag of popcorn for tonight's movie at the Student Association! There should be plenty to share with your roomate and I.
Don't you mean, "with your roommate and me"?
Snot-face.

 

by Namgubed
11-01-02
Scarecrow's on fire! Now I can cut your chains, Dorothy! *CHOP!*
Thanks, Metal Man! I'll use this bucket of water to put him out!
______** GA-SPLOOSH-KA! **______
Thanks, Dorothy! He almost singed my Nordic death metal band t-shirt!
AAIEEE! Short circuit! **ZZZPT!**

 

by Namgubed
11-01-02
♫ Daaaisyy, Daaaaiisyyy, giiivve mee yooour aaanswerrr doooo ... ♫
You - killed him! Thanks to you wonderful people, we are all finally free!
You're welcome!
Do you mean to say that all this time, you were the REAL not-so-evil Wiccan Bitch of the West, whose domain was usurped by an evil robot impostor?
Heck, no! I'm just the cleaning lady.
My mistake! Blame it on the eye.

 

by Namgubed
11-01-02
Later on, at Sapphire City ...
Did you have any trouble removing that retractible phallus?
Yes, is wasn't used to unscrewing!
Mission completed, Sergeant Hernandez!
Go ahead, folks, the Retard is expecting you!
♫ Raindrops keep falling on my head ... ♫
69th floor, right?
Got it! **PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH**

 

by Namgubed
11-04-02
Um, honey?
It's harder for the movers to take the couch ...
WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING ON IT!!
Zzz-- whuh? Who?

 

by Namgubed
11-04-02
SO YOU HAVE RETURNED WITH THE RETRACTIBLE PHALLUS! VERY GOOD. NOW YOU MUST FELL THE MIGHTIEST TREE IN THE FOREST WIIIIITH ... A HERRING!!
**sniff-sniff** Woof!
What is it, Supertramp, is there something back here?
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND CURTAIN #1!!
Why, it's Old Man Witherspoon, the amusement park owner who disappeared five years ago!
And I would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your stupid dog!

 

by Namgubed
11-04-02
You mean all this time you knew you couldn't grant our wishes? Then why did you tell us to get the Bitch Member?
To get you all out of my hair ... and if you succeeded, I figured it'd look great on my mantelpiece.
So you can't give me back my magical rockin' Fender Stratocaster?
Nope! But I'll bet you can look at Glenda's monitored motion activated hidden camera network video archives to find the real thief!
And what about my processor upgrade?
Your motherboard supports dual processors, so if the chips in the Wiccan Bitch of the West aren't fried, you can cannibalize his processor and memory! And I also have this nifty Intel Inside sticker!

 

by Namgubed
11-04-02
And what about my eyesight?
Well, it looks like you have a touch of glaucoma! Glenda should be able to fix you up with a few dime bags of - uh - medicine.
So how are Supertramp and I going to get home?
You know, I was just planning to leave this place. We can both travel back to Kansas in my lighter-than-airship!
Come on, Supertramp, let's go!
Right this way to the docking station ...

 

by Namgubed
11-05-02
♫ Sister Bluebird, flying high above, shine your wings forward to the sun. ♫
♫ Hide the mysteries of life on your way. ♫
♫ Though you've seen them -- ♫
PLEASE DON'T SAY A WORD!!

 

by Namgubed
11-06-02
When I become King of the World, instead of Election Day, everyone will celebrate Ektelon Day.
And what will that be like?
We'll get all the corporate executives to play each other in racquetball with expensive equipment, and then have three-martini lunches.
So you're saying it'll be pretty much the same.

 

by Namgubed
11-07-02
When I become King of the World, instead of Election Day, everyone will celebrate Rejection Day.
And what will that be like?
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Jerk.
RAR. TOBOR HAVE HEADACHE.
Damn.

 

by Namgubed
11-09-02
Trick or Treat!
** CAUTION: RULE-BENDER AHEAD **
Yes!

 

by Namgubed
11-09-02
♫ The hills are alive ... ♫
♫ And they're abusing Kaufman! ♫
AHH-AH-AH-AHHHHH!!

 

by Namgubed
1-09-03
Hold on a second, it looks like there's a message on this answering machine! Nothing escapes the observation of the great Yablonski!
*CLICK!* Holy crap, there's been a murder! And there goes the killer out the window, who looks a lot like --
Now where did that bolt of lightning come from? Satan, is that you destroying valuable evidence?
*BEEEP!*
I, Satan, categorically deny any involvement in this matter. It was simply an *ahem* act of God.
*CRACKLE, POP!*

 

by Namgubed
1-10-03
Welcome to Inside Humor 101! Please state your name and declared major.
Doctor. Pedantic.
TOBOR. MANRAPE!
Cowboy. Physics.
fuck.

 

by Namgubed
1-15-03
Meanwhile, somewhere in corporate America ...
My co-workers have naughty calendars and tell off-color jokes, but my supervisor doesn't care! What can I do?
I luve ths noo jjob ...
YOO CAN BENDD OVVR, FUCKEN BICH OFA HOAR!
AAIIEEE!!!
I've noticed that complaints have gone down 62% ever since we got that new Equal Opportunity guy.
Yeah, I wonder how he does it!

 

by Namgubed
1-22-03
Meanwhile, back at Gotham City...
Dad, I'm leaving the Bloods and joinin' the Crips, yo.
Son, wha'd I tell you 'bout all this gang-bangin'? Why don't you stop that nonsense, and stay home for some Jello puddin'?
The Bloods didn't really care 'bout me. I don't think no one'll even notice.
Them Bloods won't be too happy 'bout you dissin' 'em, Son. All o' this jivin's gonna catch up to you one day, mark my words!
At least, I could show up once, see what they're about, do the initiation, get some street cred. Where's the harm in that, yo?
Oh, no! CRIP TONIGHT!!

 

by Namgubed
1-22-03

 

by Namgubed
1-23-03

 

by Namgubed
1-23-03
Moh!

 

by Namgubed
1-23-03

 

by Namgubed
1-23-03

 

by Namgubed
1-23-03
This is not a LAN. Take your Unreal Tournament someplace else!

 

by Namgubed
1-24-03

 

by Namgubed
1-26-03
My ass is bleeding!
Don't you mean, "My anus is bleeding"?
That's right, my ass's anus is bleeding!
Now that just doesn't make any sense!
The hell it doesn't!

 

by Namgubed
1-27-03
BAA-A-A!!
Are you felching with sheep again?
No, of course not!
BAA-A-A!!
Then what's that sound?
... My anus is bleating.
BAA-A-A!!
Well, it looks like SOMEone gave you a good ass-ramming.
Shut up.

 

by Namgubed
1-27-03
YOUR ANUS IS BLEEDING.
My anus is bleeding?
YES.
Good! That means I'm OK for another month!
RAAR!!

 

by Namgubed
1-27-03
All right, class, our next problem deals with finding the cosine of - Jason Johnson! Front and center!
Have you been murdering your fellow students again?
No, ma'am ... um, my anus is bleeding.
Oh. Well, you had better go and see the school nurse.
Whoa, I pulled that one right out of my ass.

 

by Namgubed
1-27-03
Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Agricultural Enterprise ...
Fascinating, Captain ...
What is it, Spock?
... its ongoing mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations ...
As we travel from our solar system at warp speed, the "red shift" effect makes it appear that Uranus is bleeding.
My anus is bleeding?!
... to boldly go where no livestock has gone before!
Bones! Do something!
Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a ... um ... aye, Captain.

 

by Namgubed
1-28-03
Come back here and take your medicine like the others!
AAIIEEE!! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!

 

by Namgubed
1-29-03

 

by Namgubed
1-29-03

 

by Namgubed
1-29-03
Olé!
Olé!

 

by Namgubed
2-07-03
Meanwhile, six years after the Stripcreator reunion ...
Busy schedule today ...

 

by Namgubed
2-10-03

 

by Namgubed
2-21-03
Meanwhile, back at the corporate board meeting ...
Now, what is THAT supposed to be?
That's the Magical Crystal Ball of Business Marketing.
Great. How does it work?
You simply wish to see the future of marketing trends that will make your business more profitable.
Then why does it show you being hacked to pieces by a deranged axe murderer in a goalie mask?
Heh, heh. That's a good one ...

 

by Namgubed
2-25-03
You can no longer be a part of this family because of your decision to join the FREAKIN' TALIBAN, NED.
** SLAM! **
D1S0WN3D!!1!

Showing page 5.

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