All comics by Speez

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by Speez
7-11-02
ILC, are you alright? You look funny?
I dunno what is happening. Wait...I see dead people!
MY GOD, HE BUSTED INTO FLAMES!
OH GOD! WHY ME! WHY ME!
ILC, is that you?
My god, I'm back in my human body!

 

by Speez
7-15-02
ILC, is that really you?
It's me! Finally feels good to be back in my orignal body!
So, did you kill Feetforears?
Nah, he's just stunned.
Hey, Feetforears was packing the green!
My god, there's over a thousand dollars here! We can use it to get the real UBCS back!

 

by Speez
8-14-02
Thanks to the efforts of ILC for defeating Feetforears and taking his money. We used to money to buy CSC.
Where is ILC? He should say a few words.
I'm right here.
Who in the blue hell are you? And are you drinking beer?
Nope, it's root beer cause I'm supercool.

 

by Speez
8-14-02
Oh Denza, we get another time alone.
Yes. Let's celebrate the return to UBCS in a grand way.
Oh, I love your strong arms.
Yeah let me grip something and show how I can use them to push back and forth.
Umm, did you just hear a horse? And how the heck is humming?
Greating citizens!

 

by Speez
8-14-02
Who the fudge are you? Why did you ride in on a horse? And who is humming?!?!?!?
I'm trojan man.
Really?
Of course, can't you hear the humming?
I always thought Trojan man would be wearing Greek armor.
My armor is at the cleaner, so get off my back!

 

by Speez
8-14-02
So, umm, Trojan man, what brings you to UBCS?
I notice you where about to board the ship over there.
Umm, well, we are a couple in love...and...
You were gonna unleash the snake in the bush. You were gonna march the little solider into combat.
I get your point now.
You were gonna put the meat on the grill.

 

by Speez
8-14-02
So, why did you decide to jump out at us right before we got..."physical"?
Here's a Trojan Her Pleasure?
Her....pleasure????
It has a speical sauce that helps lower wear and tear by 99%.
Amazing! What is it?
Mustard.

 

by Speez
8-19-02
Wow, so mustard reduces the wear and tear?
Well, Mustard is the what we use to stop the wear and tear...
Boy, this mustard looks good.
...but we add other cemichals to prevent other stuff, if you know what I mean. Hey, why are you looking at it like that.
Hmm, the mustard tastes alittle tangy.
Please tell me you didn't just eat that Trojan.

 

by Speez
8-19-02
So, what do I do with this slippery rubber thing?
HAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one.
No, I'm serious. Is it some kind of hat?
Are you stupid or something?

 

by Speez
8-19-02
So, what do I do with this slippery rubber thing?
HAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one.
No, I'm serious. Is it some kind of hat?
Are you stupid or something?

 

by Speez
8-20-02
So, you seriously don't know where to put that Trojan?
Nope.
Well, it goes down there, if you know what I mean.
What, so like my big toe?
My god, your dumb.

 

by Speez
8-21-02
I still don't get where to put this.
Ok, you put it on something that gets hard when you are exicited.
Oh, I get it now.
It goes on my nipple, right?
Urge to kill, rising.

 

by Speez
8-23-02
Hey aren't you that super hero that saved CP before?
That is right, I am UBCS man!
So, why are Trojan man also?
Because being a superhero doesn't bring in the greens.
I have another question, why are you not wearing pants.
It's a very long and scary story.

 

by Speez
8-23-02
So, what is your superpower UBCS man?
I have every item in the world in my butt.
Really?
Yep, everything from corn on the cob to Pamela Anderson.
So, is that why you aren't wearing any pants? To get easy access to your butt?
Umm, yeah, that's it.

 

by Speez
8-23-02
So, you have every item in the whole world up your butt?
Sure do. Here, just think of an item and reach in and you'll pull it out.
Umm, ok.
Just a word of warning, don't reach in too deep or...
Ahhhh!
...you may get sucked in.

 

by Speez
8-23-02
My god, what did you do with Denza?
It's not easy for me to say this but...
...he's in my butt.
Not the first time some guy told me Denza been in their butt.
No, no, not like that...

 

by Speez
8-23-02
So your saying my boyfriend is lost in your butt?
Yes.
Well, there is only one thing to do.
What is that?
Bend over, I am going in!
Ah, that phrase brings back memories.

 

by Speez
8-23-02
My god, it's scary in here. I got to find Denza quick and get out.
My god, who is that.
Hello my dear!
My god, it's the webmaster of TPM, the board hated by all UBCSers, Pokemater Kevin!
Yes, and I will make all you UBCS pay!

 

by Speez
8-23-02
Pokemaster Kevin, last time you kidnapped CP, what are you doing in UBCS man butt?
For two reasons.
What are they?
One, UBCS man butt has every item in the world, even weapons I can use to destory the UBCS!
And what is the other?
It smells better than TPM.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
What did you do with Denza?
He had to catch the turd! HAHAHAHAHA!
What is he laughing at?
Oh boy, catch the turd! That's a great one. HAHAHAHA!
Umm, are you an idiot too?
HAHAHAHAHAHA, ack! I forgot to breath in.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Misty slips past Kevin as he laughs at his own joke.
God, that was easy.
Then suddenly, something hits Misty.
Wait a second, how were we outside at UBCS in the last comic?
Then Misty notices something floating past her.
God, I hope that is a candy bar floating by.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Denza, I finally found you! What are you doing?
I'm eating all these candy bars everywhere.
Umm, Denza, I have something to tell you.
What, that you want some too? Help yourself, it's all over the ground and full of corn to boot.
Never mind. Follow me. We have to get out and warn people about Pokemaster Kevin. And you gonna brush your teeth too.
Good call, this candy likes to get stuck between my teeth.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Misty and Denza escape from UBCS man's butt.
Quick UBCS man, fart like you never have farted before!
Anything for a lady.
Ah man, that one burned!
Oh god, help me I'm on fire! Oh the pain! Hey, there's corn stuck all over me!
Cool beans, we stopped Pokemaster Kevin in his track.
My god, that one really did burn.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
God, I hate walking around the board. We have so many weird people. Ian is gay, Ace is rude to everyone, Speez spends to much time in the bathroom and Denza likes to pound nails in his head.
It's can't get anymore weird than this.
Umm, your Razor Roller right?
Yeah, that's me. Check out this butt of mine! Is it great!

 

by Speez
8-24-02
You want me to look at your butt?
It's not just my butt, it's my dead sexy butt.
Umm, I know who wants to see your butt.
Who? I must show it to everyone!
Ace would love to see it.
Your the boss CP!

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Man, I'm in a good mood for once. The sky is blue and the birds are singing.
Nothing can ruin this day.
Hey Ace, check out my butt! Is it the most beatiful thing in the world.
Just ignore it Ace. Just close your eyes and keep walking.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Come on Ace, give in to the butt!
God help me, why are my eyes bigger than the normal person!
Look at this, not one piece of fat on this butt, expect for right here. Oh wait, I found some of the left cheek.
My god I'm gonna punch RR so hard he'll never be able to show off that butt again.
Look, I can make each cheek jiggle by itself.
Wait, I got a better idea.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Ace, are you still back there looking at my butt?
Ah, your quiet with awe of my butt.
Well, your the first, but back to how nice it is.
My god, Ace was right. That is a great looking butt.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Look at this butt. No pimples and I shaved it so it's smooth as a baby bottom.
How can I look at his butt when he talks too much about.
Yep, if I enter my butt in a nice butt contest, I would come in first, second and third.
Can you please stop talking so I can just stare in quiet awe of your butt.
My god! Please when I turn my head let it just be Ace with an extremly gay voice.
He's quiet now butt, so now we can talk one on one.

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Razor Roller tries to run from Ian, but Ian is right on his tail. (haha, I made a funny)
Oh, I love watching your butt as you run.
Sweet Jesus help me!
Oh, I love a good chase after a nice butt.
Ace, where are you? I swear I will never show you my butt again.
Oh, back that ass up over here.
NO! I'm scared for life now!

 

by Speez
8-24-02
Pretend Denza is holding some flowers
Oh, I'm such a good boyfriend. I'm gonna surprise Misty with some flowers.
Yep, nothing can turn this into some wacky adventure.
Umm, who are you?
Hey big boy! Did you buy me some flowers!

 

by Speez
8-24-02
So, who are you?
I'm The Angle of Light, or TAOL for short.
So, what do you want?
I heard you like to nail things into your head.
You, sometimes I slip and nail my head.
Well, I know where you can nail your head!

 

by Speez
8-26-02
Don't mess with me women!
Or you'll do what?
Or I'll nail you!
You will? Well, take alittle look behind you.
You will nail who with what now?
Umm, Misty. I will nail myself like always. See?

 

by Speez
8-26-02
See, nail myself.
I can't believe you would go nail other women while I'm not around. I have had enough of you.
Wait, what are you saying?
I'm breaking up with you. I want nothing to do with you.
So, does this mean you can go out with me now?

 

by Speez
8-27-02
So, you ready to nail me now.
Not in the way you will think.
Ah, you becoming kinky on me. Now nail me! Nail me!
Umm, look behind you.
Greeting Citizens!
Wo the fudge are you and why did you ride a horse?

 

by Speez
8-27-02
Who are you and what do you want? And why am I still holding this broom?
I'm Trojan man and it looked like you where about to get nail, so here's a Trojan here pleasure.
Shouldn't you talk with the guy about this?
Normally, but not when I'm trying to distract a psycho women from my butt buddy so he can get his girl back.
What? This is all a trick? I'll get that Denza if it's the last....butt buddies?
Don't ask. Long story.

 

by Speez
8-28-02
Misty, thank god I found you.
Denza, I told you, we're over. Now leave me alone.
Wait, I wrote you this love letter, and let me read it to you. Wait, this is asking me to resubscribe to Girls Gone Wild.
What?
Needless to say, Misty kick Denza in the balls.
OWWWW! I think it's bleeding.

 

by Speez
8-28-02
Elsewhere...
Where is that big hunk of man Denza at now?
Maybe he's hiding in this room.
Ahhh, where the fudge am I?

 

by Speez
8-28-02
My god, who are you and where am I?
I'm the forgotten UBCS mod, AotD and your are inside of LAP's bag, which is where all the banned peeps go.
Hmm, you look pretty sexy. Are you equiped down there?
Does a cow say moo?
Take me now you poet!

 

by Speez
8-28-02
Come closer to me you naked, ummm, you!
With pleasure my dear!
Can I join in on this too?
Who the fudge are you?
I am OGO, I was banned numerous times so that's why I am here.
Sure, your pretty cute. Jump on in!

 

by Speez
8-28-02
LAP is sitting around reading the recent UBCS comics...
Cool beans, Speez has been bringing back old characters. First FeetforEars, than UBCS man, then Ian, AotD and OGO!
I must be next. I'll just go ask Speez.
So Speez, am I gonna be in the comic soon?
Who are you?

 

by Speez
8-28-02
What do you mean no? You had a bunch of other character return! Why not me?
There is a good reason for that.
And that is?
Well, you suck as a character.
Hey I told you, I was alittle wozy and alone that night, and Ian happen to be around.
No, not like that.

 

by Speez
8-28-02
Dude, my bag has been in the comic more times than me.
Cause your bag is more popular than you.
Hey, I didn't say the bag was worse than me, but let me be in the comic.
You whole thing was you were addicted to putting squirrels in your bag, but ILC is not a squirrel no more. Deal with it.
Ok, you are right, I will let it go.
That's a good bag holder.

 

by Speez
8-28-02
LAP just told his story of not being in the comic to someone...
So, that's all. And I know you haven't been used in awhile either...
...so would you like to get revenge on Speez with me...
Swirling Mist!
Yes, I believe I can help you.

 

by Speez
8-29-02
Yes, I will return to the UBCS with an even bigger sig!
They will all coward in it's bigness! Only one problem...
...how the fudge am I gonna carry it?

 

by Speez
8-29-02
Later, Speez is in the bathroom...
Oh man, this is gonna hurt coming out.
Man, this is gonna be so great.
When Speez steps out of the bathroom, he will be sucked into my sigs bigness.
I'll just wait over here, he shouldn't be too much longer.

 

by Speez
8-29-02
Mist waits off the pannel for Speez to leave the bathroom.
Oh, it's coming out. It's coming. No wait, it went back in.
Ten minutes later.
God, it's pointy, and tearing up my inside! And it refuses to come out! Why me!
An hour later.
My god, did he die in there or something?

 

by Speez
8-30-02
My plan will never work if Speez will never get out of the bathroom!
Speez, do you need anything!
Yeah, a crowbar, two screwdriver, a copy of the holy bible, sixteen paper clips and a virgin.
Wait, virgins still exist?

 

by Speez
8-30-02
*Flush*
Yes, Speez is done!
Yep, that was the first of many!
Time for the anal battle, round two!
This is wrong on some many levels

 

by Speez
8-30-02
Could it be? Will Speez leave the bathroom?
Ah, all done.
Wait, I got to pee now.
This isn't going well...

Showing page 5.

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