All comics by The_Kingpin

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by The_Kingpin
4-09-07
The Good...
You get an A!
Woot!
The Bad...
But only because you stayed after school and we had sex despite you being underage.
The Ugly....
I'm covering up my Adam's Apple because my sex change operation isn't complete yet.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-14-07
Hey, you know that Unsolved Mysteries website?
Yeah, the one dealing in much more unusual stuff than the show and people post about their weird experiences?
Yeah. You now have to "donate" $5 to join and use the site beyond being a reader.
Donate?
Exactly. If you HAVE to pay $5 to use it, it's not a freakin' donation. That's called "payment".

 

by The_Kingpin
4-15-07
I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Do you feel the same?
I slept with your two sisters last night.
I mean yes.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-10-07
We're trapped in the middle of no where and we don't have any food!
Not exactly. There is a little food.
Really? Where?!
*Burp*

 

by The_Kingpin
7-12-07
Oh no! The Pope has been shot! The Pope has be.....What's that?
Sorry for the interruption, but we've just been told that a celebrity has dropped her toothbrush.
We will now devote our coverage to this event for the next week.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-12-07
Hanging out on the internet one night....
*Receives IM from guy I had chatted with in a chatroom*
I hope you die!! I hope you die a horrible death and God sends you to hell to suffer for eternity!!
...All I did was leave the chatroom. Geez.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-13-07
Christianity
For a very long time, Christians were burned alive, fed to lions, tortured, and crucified.
Judaism
Millions of Jews were murdered in a matter of a few years under the order of one man.
Islam
A comedic two hour movie named 'Evan Almighty' insults our religion.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-14-07
So do you like my new office, son?
My girlfriend and I have had sex on your desk practically every night since you got it.
I'll see you at home.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-15-07
Well Stickly, here we are. The start of our cross-country road trip.
Woo!
What's that smell?
Sorry. I got nervous.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-15-07
Kid, why did you kill those people?
Video games made me do it!
What you're saying is that an inanimate object made you kill someone?
...You're right. People like me need to quit shucking the blame where it doesn't belong.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-21-07
Remember.....
You don't have to be a celebrity to make a difference. Just a cardholder.
I can't make a difference in the world if I don't have a credit card? You're kidding.

 

by The_Kingpin
7-23-07
Hey!
We saw your SOS!
...So why does the helicopter fly off immediately after landing and dropping the kids off on the island?

 

by The_Kingpin
7-30-07
I'M FIVE!!!!
MOMMY'S THE VICE PRESIDENT!!!!!
Just think, I'm the best actor who auditioned!!!! A victory to bad kid actors everywhere!!!!

 

by The_Kingpin
11-06-07
Oh yes. I non-believer. I, the Burger King, shall go over and creepily stare in his window!
*Thud*
Hey, what was that noise?
Nothing. Keep driving.

 

by The_Kingpin
11-09-07
Hello? I'm a chicken. I'm new in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by and say hello.
*Burp*

 

by The_Kingpin
11-19-07
Okay, time to introduce myself to my neighbors.
*knock knock*
It's not like they'll hurt me or anything. As a new neighbor, it'll just be being nice.
....
....

 

Yes, someone actually said this on a message board recently. And yes, he was serious.
...
I actually have no problem with people have sex with dead bodies.
by The_Kingpin, 11-25-07

 

by The_Kingpin
11-30-07
Islam is a religion of peace. I don't know why people say otherwise.
99.5% exactly word for word what I recently read on a news website
Thousands in Sudan gathered calling for the execution of a British teacher who insulted Islam by allowing a teddy bear to be named Muhammad. Chants of "No tolerance: Execution!" could be heard.
...Shut up.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-01-07
Who's the....oh crap.
Yes, indeed. I am the Grim Reaper. Wait, you're name is John, right?
Yeah, why?
It's just that you're supposed to die today. You're supposed to be wearing red.
I was promoted.
*Sigh* Forget it then.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-02-07
*Holding up a picture*
Mommy, how did Daddy get little?
It's a picture from when he was a kid, you little twat.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-07-07
I tell you. I'm so glad Jesus is my Lord and Savior.
But isn't that guy your dating married?
Yeah. Why?
...What?

 

by The_Kingpin
12-10-07
Like many of my topics, this is indeed based on a true, oft-happening story
I still can't believe I got rear-ended by this group of guys and then they literally drove off! Not only that, I actually chased after them.
You have no Xanga comments from any of your 13 subscribers.
However, your friend posted a one line post saying "I like cheese".
He currently has six comments.

 

by The_Kingpin
12-27-07
What is this, some kind of joke?

 

by The_Kingpin
3-15-08
I'm glad we came to a truce.
So do I! Now our kind can finally live in peace.
Hey....what's that?!
What? Where?
*Gulp*

 

It's been a long time. Sue me.
by The_Kingpin, 3-16-08

 

by The_Kingpin
3-16-08
Yep, all of this is completely true.
In a tale of good news, a 15 year old stopped an out of control school bus after the driver fell unconscious at the wheel.
Her quick thinking saved a whopping total of FORTY elementary school kids on board.
She was later given Saturday detention for skipping a class she had at the time of saving the kids.

 

by The_Kingpin
3-24-08
Why are you trying to persuade people from joining the Militiary?
I feel that it's my job to save these people.
But these people are joining out of their own free will. They know that a war is going on and they could get killed at any moment. They know it's a very possible outcome. But they accept that.
Look, no one wants this war to go on any longer at this point. I really couldn't care less about anti-war rallies. But stop being a douche and let these people decide for themselves.

 

by The_Kingpin
6-02-08
Hi! I'm a fairy god mother! What do you think?
Wow! How can they be so big on something so small?
Oh, another Freudian slip?
No.

 

by The_Kingpin
8-07-09
Hi there. You look familiar.
It's because of my SHOES!!!
Wait, come back! I was just joking!

 

by The_Kingpin
4-19-18
Why did I stop making strips in the first place?
Oooga booga boo!
...Oh yeah.

 

by The_Kingpin
3-15-19
You forgot to pay the power bill, didn't you?
Shut up.

Showing page 5.

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