All comics by The_Kingpin

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by The_Kingpin
10-09-03
Justin pretends to allow a scammer in an multiplayer game scam him
LOL! I just scammed you! N00b!
I am the greatest scammer of all time!
Let this be an example to you all. Please.........have a life.

 

by The_Kingpin
10-10-03
You don't even want to know what was just doing in my spacesuit.
If it involves what I think, you're very correct.

 

by The_Kingpin
10-10-03
I've been cheating on you for the past three months with your best friend, aka your brother! And our child is his.
What?!? You're a *beep* slut!
Are you watching The Jerry Spinger Show?
No...the Maury Povich Show

 

by The_Kingpin
10-11-03
Hi. Want to join me in my game?
What are you playing in the middle of a cemetary?
I'm playing Harry Potter
Wow, Harry Potter!
Yeah, isn't it great?
Dork

 

by The_Kingpin
12-19-03
Ian, I want to ask you something.
Ok, what is it?
Have you ever wonder why it seems like we can't get dates?
I honestly don't know.
Oh look! The site has loaded! Yes! I feel so naughty for loving this!
You should. Now, let's take a look into the dark world of roach mating!!

 

by The_Kingpin
12-21-03
Hello. I have one thing to say you, something I've been waiting a while to say!
Ok, go ahead!
Alright, you asked for it.......
Here it comes.
Do not pass go! Do not collect 200 dollars!

 

by The_Kingpin
12-24-03
Who are you??
I am the Ghost Of Christmas Present. I have come to show you the trouble you have caused in others lives. Now close your eyes and we'll begin.
Sure, why not?
Five Minutes Later
Why are we still.....hey! Come back with my television you bastard!

 

by The_Kingpin
1-01-04
President Bush, we have a problem.
What's wrong?
There's a country that won't cooperate with us. What should we do?
The same thing we always do Cheney. Go ahead.
Some Country On The Other Side Of The Planet

 

by The_Kingpin
1-01-04
Happy new year Oddball!
A new year, new chances, and new starts! Now, I'm off to go make a new name for myself!
A Few Seconds Later
Nothing like seeing someone slip down an ice covered hill into on-coming traffic.
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

by The_Kingpin
1-02-04
But mr......
No buts about it little girl. You received music without paying for it.
But, I got it off the radio!
You know the rules. No free music! Even President Bush said music in any digital format is illegal.
When am I getting out?
After your parents pay an excessive amount of money that would probably take them a lifetime to earn.

 

by The_Kingpin
1-02-04
Well, Oddball, here we are.
Dirk...please.
This is where it all happens everyday.
You love tormenting don't you?
Don't worry Oddball, the House Of Eyeglasses will be great!
*Sighs* We need lives.

 

by The_Kingpin
1-03-04
Good evening. We have a story developing out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene.
I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started?
It all started with the announcement from this strip's creator that he will begin working in porno.

 

by The_Kingpin
1-13-04
I'm going to get something out of the fridge. Do you want anything?
Aside from cats everywhere being under my control, nope.
I'll be right back.
AHHH!!!! A monster is attacking me!
Hm. So that's where I left that rabid weasel on purp.....I mean.....accident.

 

by The_Kingpin
1-18-04
Thank you all for watching.
I have called this press conference to announce a very special event.
That Justin....
The Weef Gang strips are back! What's this do? AHH! Help! Not the cyborgs again!!!

 

by The_Kingpin
3-06-04
Last night when you gave me a bl...oh we're on? Good evening America!
And welcome to the national news. We have a special report tonight. Let's go to our field operative, Barry Well!
Greetings, I'm Barry Well. I'm here with Jim B. Neckal. Jim, what exactly caused this mass carnage and rampages?
They aired the Enzyte "Bob" commercials and the Quizno's "Screechy Rat Thing" Commercials together all day.
There you have it folks! That's it from us! Good night!
I wonder if anyone can really tell that I'm a man?

 

by The_Kingpin
3-12-04
Justin, I want to talk to you about something.
Ok, what is it?
You know I think you're a crazy disturbed overly-dramatic person, right?
Yeah, what's your point?
Oh, that's all....well, there goes the dazed look again.
Mary had a little lamb, and it became a lambchop on my plate, lalalala

 

by The_Kingpin
3-18-04
At An Anti-War Protest...
Bring our troops home! No more needless death! The war in Iraq is unjustified! The Iraqis don't even want us there!
I guess that's why they celebrated and danced in the streets when we ousted Saddam after he tortured and killed millions while he was in charge.
The only reason we're fighting there is because we want the oil!
Of course we want the oil, moron! You notice the SUV you're driving? It takes oil to run that, not to mention million other cars. Plus oil is used in machinery that gives hundreds jobs.
That's what the evil propaganda of that Bush moron and the Senate wants you to think!
Nimrod

 

by The_Kingpin
3-20-04
Holy Crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH!
Take me to your leader
Why? What do you aliens want from us humans?
You know what we want...
An anal probe?
A double cheese whopper with the extras.

 

by The_Kingpin
3-21-04
Hello, welcome to the national news! Our top story tonight, a giant brain eating alien is on its way to conquer Earth!
But first, let's get our word from our operative, Barry Well, out and about talking to a notorious Weef Gang member to waste a minute of our time!
This is Barry Well with Chris Hull. Chris, what do you think about cheesecake?
Weefa!!
There you have it folks! The weef keeps going on! The good news is, Kate, since I'm a male, I'll make 5x your salary forever.
If his wife wasn't cheating on him with me, I would be angry.

 

by The_Kingpin
3-23-04
Hi, welcome to Super Burger World. May I take your order?
I have a question. What's in the Super Special Burger that makes it so special?
Well, what makes our Super Special Burger special is......

 

by The_Kingpin
3-24-04
Welcome To The National Stripcreator News!
Yes, tonight, we have a late breaking story.
Go ahead Kathy, what exactly is this late breaking news?
The creator known as The_Kingpin has been called an ass in the comments section.
The_Kingpin wishes to thank the sender of the message for providing him his smile for the day.
Why does Bob look like an Ewok?

 

by The_Kingpin
3-25-04
Case #1: A Talk About The Book, Moby Dick
I just love Moby Dick!
....
Case #2: After Losing In A Video Game Contest
Oh my, you're hard to beat!
.....
Case #3: Having An Argument On Who Sucks More At Video Games
No, dude, you suck very much!
That's it, I'm never working for Kingpin again!

 

by The_Kingpin
3-25-04
Ok, I'll let you use me for practice for our paintball match alright?
Ok.
Uhh...we WERE suppose to practice with live ammunition right?

 

by The_Kingpin
3-28-04
Day in, day out, it's the same thing everyday.
I know, it's 2302 A.D. 200 years of this crap is enough.
Look at this, I'm starting to fall apart. I'm all frame and wires now!
It kind of turns me on.
So does what's behind us lugnuts

 

by The_Kingpin
3-30-04
I just read the new comment in my comment section. It states that I eat cocks
Though I may not be gay, it's true that I really do eat alot of cocks. In truth, I love to. In fact, here comes somebody that I will be eating later on tonight.
Thanks for giving me an excuse to make another comic.
Did you want to see me?

 

by The_Kingpin
3-31-04
I can't believe...we're....lost in...the desert.
It's so hot out here. It's burning up.
Where's our last canteen of water? We need a drink.
There's a slight problem.
What?
I drank it while you were sleeping.

 

by The_Kingpin
3-31-04
To Your Wife
That bed you bought looks like the one I "slept" on with that woman the other night!
When Somebody Orders A Hamburger
I just remember where I left my pet rat.
In A Bloody Battle
I like war!
Bastard...

 

by The_Kingpin
4-19-04
In Justin's Secret Underground Lab.....
Ok Sunil, it's another time travel mission.
Are you actually going to continue this?
Yes.
Ok, good. I don't want to waste my time.
We won't. Anyhow, I believe I have finally perfected my time machine. I can now go back and dominate the word....I mean.....study the past and future.
Excellent. Let's get to it then.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-19-04
The Time Dial is set. All we have to do is step in the door and off we go. Ready?
I'm ready. Let's get to it.
1992 A.D.
We're now 12 years into the past Sunil.
I can't believe it actually worked. Now what?

 

by The_Kingpin
4-19-04
Good. It worked. Now I can finish the reason why I came back to 1992. Good, I came at the right time. There's one of the people use to bully me around.
Hey Sunil, I'll be right back.
Ok.
*BANG*
.....Justin?

 

by The_Kingpin
4-19-04
Back In 2004
The good news is the mission was a success.
I can't believe you shot him Justin!
Relax it was just a tranq with my mind control juice.
Justin, it put him in a coma.
Minor side effect! Besides, he'll be waking up in a few days.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-19-04
HAHA! PREPARE TO DIE!
Don'tcha just love murder?
A Few Seconds Later
Nick.com
Oooooooh!

 

by The_Kingpin
4-22-04
I called this press conference to announce that we have come up with a rule book for priests. These rules will cover things such as sexual behavior. Are there any questions?
Yes, you sir, the familiar gentleman?
...
You're too late, it's been covered.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-23-04
Look, I don't want the sick perverts.
Well, I have to send them somewhere.
I know, but, couldn't you maybe create a new place for them?
You know I won't. Besides, where would I put it?
Ok, ok, I'll let the RIAA CEO in.
Good.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-24-04
Now this is some great stuff....
I just saw a turtle float by.....
The sad thing is....he's not high.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-25-04
A man was caught destroying Eagle eggs today.
Authorities say he will be heavily fined and will spend some time in jail. Activists are in an uproar upon hearing about the eggs.
...Is it just me, or does something seem odd about this?
In other news, abortion clinics report that business is up.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-27-04
Farmer David wakes up.
Whoa....hey, can you tell me what happened last night to me?
Do you really want to know?
Yeah, of course. Tell me.
Well, it was a pretty hot. It went like this.....
Last Night
You bad boy, of course I want to play this little game.
Ok. Simon Says....hit yourself with a hammer in the head.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-27-04
Wow, I've never been in one of these corn flabbed ufo thingamabobs.
I'm sure you will find this trip enlightning.
What will we do?
Well, we're going to visit Uranus.
Nice, I've always wanted to go to that planet.
I didn't mean the planet.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-27-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!
Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....
This water sure does taste funny.

 

by The_Kingpin
4-28-04
......
......
......
......
He told you this was pointless.

 

by The_Kingpin
5-01-04
RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!!
Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here?
TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST?
I don't believe I have.
Damn. Where's the nearest Star Trek convention?

 

by The_Kingpin
5-01-04
I, along with all the other SC characters you have used have voted to rebel and fight you.
I hoped it wouldn't come to this.
I demand a little respect! So does my power of blowing anything up with my mind.

 

by The_Kingpin
5-01-04
Hi little squirrel.
Sure.
I just love squirrels. Wanna be my friend?
*Gulp* Too bad.

 

by The_Kingpin
5-03-04
Oh no! My boyfriend is dead! There's blood everywhere!
Do you have any idea who could have done this sick ritual like thing??
I have no idea.

 

by The_Kingpin
5-04-04
Chris! Justin is gone! There's blood all over his secret lab! The RIAA must have found him!
Weef.
It'll be alright Chris. We'll find Justin.
Weef....
Chris, don't say that! Of course Justin is still alive and ok! Nuttier than a squirrel, but he is ok!

 

by The_Kingpin
5-04-04
WEEF!
That's the spirit Chris. We'll take them out one by one if we have to.
Let's get going Chris.
Let's weef it good then.
To The Eggmobile!

 

by The_Kingpin
5-04-04
....Chris?
What?
I don't see how this will help us locate Justin.
It won't.
Then why are we here?
I'm thirsty.

 

by The_Kingpin
5-04-04
Let's remember this. Axe plus a woman with a heart condition do not mix. We best leave while we can.
Ok.
I wonder if one of these buildings are the RIAA headquarters?
I don't know. Let's just try one.
This looks like the right place. Nice wallpaper.
I want to try out my "axe effect". Where is this RIAA president?

 

by The_Kingpin
5-04-04
Chris, I'll go look in the prison area. That's the most likely area. You go look for the president and wipe him out.
Sounds good.
Sunil!
Justin! There you are! Me and Chris have come to bust you out!
Good. That guy is starting to look at me weird.
Chris is hunting down the president. We won't be worried from him anymore.

 

by The_Kingpin
5-04-04
Whew. That was a close one. I'm glad we escaped.
Me to.
Hey Justin, what was all that blood that was all over the place in here?
Oh, that was just Cherry Kool-Aid. I lose control, ok? Um, does it feel like we forgot something?
Prepare to die!
Uh-oh.

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