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| What was it like on the Nadadores swim team, son? | |
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| Well, you know I love playing with the nads untill they're all wet, but my heart will always be with the South Carolina Gamecocks. | |
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| I remember going up against the Gamecocks when I was in college, damn they were rough. Those Cocks knocked me up pretty bad, I had to have thirteen stitches to close the gaping hole they left! | |
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| While I was in Florida with my nads hanging out, I met Dick Trickle, you know, the race car driver, he was telling me about how his wife went to University of Alabama and was on the Crimson Tide. | |
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| Oh yeah, my wife is on the Crimson Tide, she can usually go for hours in a marathon, but now she doesn't want to at all. She won't even get her legs up in the air for a quick high jump. | |
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| I think I'm done with sport for now, I might be a birdwatcher instead. I've already seen a tit and a dick, now I'm looking for an eagle with its wings spread, preferably a bald spread eagle. | |
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