All comics by edoggydog

 

by edoggydog
4-22-05
Dude... This is the 200th "Groovy!" comic! Let's do whatever it takes to make this one great!!
Groovy!
Uh... You got any ideas?
Ummm... No, I don't...
Goddammit! We're already to the third panel, and WE"VE GOT NOTHING!!
Why you getting pissed at me? You're the one that write's this shit!!

 

by edoggydog
4-22-05
...so, then a says to moms, "Nipple, shmipple! I want the WHOLE teat!!"
Groovy!
Say, uncle... Can you tell me about the "birds and bees"?
Uh, aren't you a little young to be learning about sex?
Dude... I already know about that stuff. I see moms and "Uncle" Charlie doing it all the time! I need your help with a biology paper that's due on Wednesday...
Whaaaaaaaaaat?

 

by edoggydog
4-23-05
"Doomo arigatoo, Mr. Roboto... (Doomo, doomo, doomo!)"
Groovy!
"I am the modren man... With parts made in Japan..."
Yeah, baby!
How much more of this crap do I have to sing?
That's enough... Just wanted to relive a Styx childhood memory... Thanks, dude!

 

by edoggydog
4-23-05
Dude... I've decided to leave the porn industry, and do a legitimate career...
Groovy!
I just landed a job in boat sales!
Fantastic! What type of watercraft will you be selling?
CATamarans!
Whore!

 

by edoggydog
4-23-05
Goo-goo, ga ga, goo...
Groovy!
Ga ga, goo, ga, goo-goo, ga ga, goo!
Go, baby, go!
How much more of the crap do you want me to do?
That's enough for now... ( I just loves me that baby talk!)

 

by edoggydog
4-24-05
Hi, mister... You don't know me, but Butch's son...
Groovy!
Now, even though you killed my daddy, I harbor no ill-will towards you! I know you murd- uh, killed him in self defense. I guess pops had some unresloved issues from his childhood...
Well... I just want to put the whole awful event behind me...
Twenty years later...
MUST KILL FRENCH-LOOKING FAG-BOY FOR MURDERING MY DADDY!!
Gee... What a lovely evening! I think I'll go take a walk through a dark alley. In the bad part of town. Alone.

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
I know our 200th comic was a big flop, so I checked Stripcreator.com's by laws, and found we are allowed a certain number of "mulligans": "do-overs," if you will. Here's our do-over for number 200...
Groovy!
...that fembot had the biggest pair of ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti- ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-tits! She was atleast a 44 double D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...
I hate it when his hard drive freezes up whenever he gets excite- (Hmmm... Seems like we've done this bit already!)
I know, I know! But, that was our best comic, and I'm relying on the viewing public's short attention spans. Now, you've just reminded everyone of that previous epsiode... Good job, bonehead!
D'oh!

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
Dude... I just had a complete phyiscal exam done this morning, and my doctor says I'm healthy as a horse!
Groovy!
I do have a question for you... When the doc stuck his finger up my ass for a prostrate exam, I kind of liked the way it felt. Now, even though I like women, does that mean I'm gay?
Of course not! A lot of straight men like the feel of a woman's digit up their backsides during sex...
How about when the doctor asked me for a semen sample, I let him collect a specimen "personally"...
DING! DING! DING! Fag alert! Fag alert!

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
Dude... I just got released from the hospital. I spent three weeks in ICU! I'll tell you all about my horrid affair...
Groovy!
I was at the zoo, in the Gorilla area, when I was brutally attacked by a silver-back! He beat the shit out of me, then preceded to sodomize me for over eight hours straight before I was rescued!
Oh, wow! That sound's terrible... How do you feel?
How do I feel? How do I feel? That goddamn gorilla hasn't written! He hasn't called! No flowers, no candy... Nothing!
Maybe, you weren't the "gorilla" his dreams...

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
Hi, folks! Before we return you to our regularly-scheduled "Groovy!" comics, we need to clear up a few "bookkeeping" errors. This'll take but a moment...
Groovy!
The five episodes following number 201, which are numbered 302, 303, 304, 304, and 306, should really be numbered 202, 203, 204, 205, and 206... Sorry, for any confusion!
Why don't you just go back in, and re-title them with the correct corresponding numbers? You can do this if you are a "donor" to Stripcreator.com...
Listen, fag-boy... I've already tried to donate by mailing in a check, but Brad won't reply to my e-mails! Hey, Brad! You seeing this? I want to send you some money! Can you tell me how? Please?
This is the first time I've ever seen a "reverse beggar"!

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
Hi! I'm the symbol for the Republican Party, a.k.a. GOP... I'm here to explain the photograph circulating of "W" and the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia holding hands at Bush's Texas ranch...
Groovy!
Though this behavior may seem strange, almost homosexual, in American society, it is natural and common place in Middle Eastern cultures...
So, then the President was just trying to make the prince feel at home here?
Exactly! It's not like "W' was sucking his dick, or anything like that...
Of course not! He apparently saves that for the President of Mexico...

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
...then, the hunter climbed my fence to try and retrieve the duck he shot. I told him, "This is my field, and therefore that thar's my duck! Beat it!!"
Groovy!
Well, we argued for an hour, but decided to settle the issue by "Row-sham-bow"! This is where we kick each other in the nuts, and the first to drop, loses!
So, what happened?
Well, I went first... And, even though I kicked him in package with all my might, he didn't fall! So then I told him, "Ah, heck! Keep the duck!"
Nice story! (Damn... Ol' Bossie is looking GOOD!)

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
I am Mr. Wizard, and I'm here to grant your wish from last night's prayer...
Groovy!
On the count of three, I will make you totally irresistable to ALL the woman of Earth! They will literally want to take you home, and let you sleep with them in their beds! One... Two... Three!
OUCH!
Oops!
What? [pant, pant]

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
Damn! Looks like my wand jammed! Don't worry, though... I'll be able to make you totally irresistable to women!
Groovy!
On the count of three, I command you to become completely "habit-forming" to the female sex! One... Two... Three!
OUCH!!
Shit!
Wow! It really must have worked, 'cuz I'm on fire!

 

by edoggydog
4-25-05
Sorry again, Dude! I think it's best if I just switch you back to your original self...
Groovy!
One... Two... Three!
OUCH!!!
Y'know... If, you really want women to find you attractive, why don't you lose the beret, and think about getting a job..?
Now, you're starting to sound like my dad, dude! Late...

 

by edoggydog
4-26-05
...and, then I told the police, "One step closer, and I'll drive this nail through my brain!" To wit they responded, "Who gives a rat's ass?!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I just got this letter from my brother. It says that he fell into the upholstery machine at his work...
That's awful! Is he okay?
Apparently so... He says he's now "fully recovered"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA [snort!]
Jack off!

 

by edoggydog
4-26-05
"...and, I think it's going to be a long, long time. To touch down brings me around here too fine..."
Groovy!
"...I'm not the MAN they think I am at all. No, no, no, no..."
Sing it Baby! Sing it!
"I'm a closet fag!"
Hmmm... Though appropriate, I don't think those are the original lyrics that were sung by Elton John...

 

by edoggydog
4-27-05
...so, then I says to the beotch, "If, you think this wand is big..." To wit she responded by slapping my face...
Groovy!
Anyhoo... You say that you want me to remove a curse that has plagued your uncle for forty long years?
Yes, Mr. Wizard...
I should be able to help. I need you tell me what the EXACT words that were used to put this curse on him...
Sure... Let me re-confirm with my uncle, but I think he said they were: "I now pronounce you man and wife."

 

by edoggydog
4-27-05
Dude... I've been perusing Stripcreator.com, and I notice a rash of new aspiring cartoonists. Of course, "rash" seems to be the appropriate word...
Groovy!
Well, I say, "The more the merrier!" Now, it appears that most of you guys have figured out how to set backgrounds, along with typing in the dialogue. That's good! I just have one word of advice...
What's that?
Start writing some @%#$ jokes already!!
I count six words of advice...

 

by edoggydog
4-27-05
See how bright they are? It's because I gargle with Clorox..
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I've just completed my year-long study on domestic violence. Do you want to know the number one reason why women get beat?
Please, teall me...
It's because THEY JUST DON"T LISTEN!!
Yeah... Try telling the women THAT...

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
Look, baby, a SALE! Let's go in. This'll only take a minute...
Groovy!
Oooh... These are so cute! Let me try them on. I'll just be a minute...
?
Wow! These ALL are so cute! I can't decide..!
Honey? The movie starts in five minutes... (What's taking so @$#% long!)

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
"We must charge ahead..."
Groovy!
"...and kill all the evil-doers..."
No, seriously... I like it. Really.
"...while keeping our borders open for cheap, illegal labor!"
What kind of moron gives a talking George W. Bush doll for Christmas..?

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
Groovy!
No, seriously... I like it. Really. Thanks.
Who the @%#$ gives a Christmas tree for Christmas?!

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
...so, then the moderator says, "The 'ayes' have it."
Groovy!
So, dude... I'm like the most under-used character in Stripcreator.com... Any ideas why that is?
Well, for one, you're kinda goofy-looking with all those EYES...
(Brace yourself for the lame-ass punchline...)
I don't SEE that!
Are you BLIND?!

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
Dude... For obvious reasons, the women love me to take care of them orally...
Groovy!
And, when I'm in the middle of "pleasing" them, they all scream the same thing...
What's that?
"STOP STARING AT ME!!"
Woa! Trying to keep eye contact with this guy is making me dizzy...

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
...so, then I says to her, "Imagine what I'd look like if I were cross-eyed!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Do you know what my all-time favorite Tom Cruise movie is?
"Eyes Wide Shut"?
How'd you guess..?
Oh, it was just a hunch...

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
...then, they voided my SAT scores because they said I was looking at other people's tests! But, it was all straightened out, and I got to go to the Univesity of Eye-daho...
Groovy!
Anywayz... I just got back from the opthamologist. Guess what my eyesight is...
I haven't the haziest...
20/20, 20/15, 20/30, 20/20, 20/15, 20/30, 20/20, 20/400, and 20/15...
I can almost hear the sound of a rim-shot in the background...

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
...so, then I asked my realtor if the house had "eye-ball" appeal. Well, that threw her into convulsions, and we all had a good laugh at her expense!
Groovy!
So, dude... I have a real dilemma. My girlfriend wants me to go see a "tear jerker" playing down at Le Bleu Bijou with her tonight...
What's the problem?
Well... I get to crying and all, which makes a mess of my clothing. And, then I leave the theater feeling extremely dehydrated! It really sucks!
Not to mention how much creepier you look with your eyes all bloodshot and puffy...

 

by edoggydog
4-28-05
Groovy!
[scribble, scribble]
Okay... This one's doing about forty-five in a twenty-five zone. The license plate reads, "3LKJ892"...
Ah 'ight... Cool! [scribble, scribble]
Where we at?
One more and I reach my quota for April...

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
Groovy!
Cool!
Jammin'!
Rad!
Shit! I can't think of another synonym for "oustanding"...
I win! Suh- weeeeeeT!!

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
Groovy!
First of all, I'd like to thank my dad for coming...
...otherwise, I never would have been born!

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
Groovy!
How about now?
Negatory... Can't see you there, either!
I guess you really don't have EYES in the back of your head!
I told you!

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
*RING!* *RING!*
Groovy!
"I'm, like, not able to come to the phone, dude... So, when you, like, hear the beep, leave me the 411...dude" [beep]
Who is it? Who is it?
"Are you losing dates because of S.D.S., aka Small Dick Syndrome? Want to be able to knock over small table lamps with your 'happy stick'? For only $595 per month, you can grow..."
@$#% PHONE SPAM!!

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
"Oh, Mickey! You're so fine! You blow my mind! Hey, Mickey!!"
Groovy!
"Oh, Mickey! You're so fine! You blow my mind! Hey, Mickey!!"
Own it!
So, what do you think? Am I America's next idol or what?!
Maybe... But, lose the bearsuit, or Simon will roast you like Sunday's meatloaf!

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
...and, then I remember waking up in a pool of my own sweat. Fortunately, they rushed me to the ER, and everything worked out fine...
Groovy!
I guess what I don't understand is why I had to paint the house while wearing both a windbreaker and a ski jacket. I mean, it must have been 103 degrees in the shade!
Then, why did you dress in such heavy clothing?
Because, the directions on the can specifically said: "For best results, put on two coats."
Well... That answers the question whether or not that's her natural hair color...

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
The first step is take out silverware and then stand on step ladder...
Groovy!
Drop silverware from height of no less than sik and a haff feet. Then, listen for the "ching-chang-chong" sound as utensil hit floor, and write down what you hear...
You're kidding! You guys really don't do that in your country, right?
Do you know easier way to name baby?
Snap!

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
...so, I tell the head-shrink that every night I dream I'm a tepee and a wigwam. A TEPEE and a WIGWAM!! Then, the doc said, "Relax! You're TWO TENTS!"
Groovy!
Do you want to know how we name our babies on the reservation?
How?
Up yours, pale face!
What'd I say? What'd I say?

 

by edoggydog
4-29-05
I'm sorry about going "war path" on you earlier... I thought you were mocking my people. Sure! I'll be happy to tell you how we name our children in Native American culture...
Groovy!
It's really simple... Immediately, after baby is born, the chief looks out his tepee, and whatever he sees first, becomes the baby's name...
So, that's how you got the name "Two Dogs Fucking"!
Yes! And, if you think that's bad, my little brother's name is "Big Brown Buffalo Butt-fucking Bambi"!
Fascinating... I think I'll go see if the reservation gift shop is selling any scalps today...

 

by edoggydog
4-30-05
...to repeat: the missing Georgia woman has been found alive in Albuquerque, New Mexico! We now return you to Greta Van Sustren and the Fox News team...
Groovy!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S ALIVE! THIS CASE WAS GOING TO BE THE NEXT "PETERSON"! THERE GOES MY @#$% RATINGS!! BITCH!!!
?
Uh, Greta... We're on the air!
"Fair and balanced"?

 

by edoggydog
4-30-05
"And, as we wind on down the road... Our shadows' taller than our souls..."
Groovy!
"...and, if you listen very hard... The tune will come to you at last..."
Bring it on home to me, baby!
"And, she's buying a Big Gulp at the local Seven-Eleveeennnn."
I swear to God this younger generation just doesn't "get" Led Zeppelin!

 

by edoggydog
4-30-05
Dude... I just downloaded onto my hard drive Microsoft's Laff Trac 2005!
Groovy!
Now, I have the ability to sense humor, and act accordingly. Go ahead! Tell me a joke...
Did you hear the one about the Polish coyote that got his foot caught in a trap? He gnawed off three legs and gave up!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA (help me!) HA HAHAHAHAHA (can't control laughter!) HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (might be a virus!) HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (PLEASE!!) HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA...
I'll go call Leo Leporte, a.k.a. "The Tech Guy"...

 

by edoggydog
4-30-05
Dude... Thanks for calling that tech guy! Not only did he fix the problem with my laugh track, he also installed Microsoft Sob-ster Millenia...
Groovy!
Now, I can feel sadness and remorse. Go ahead! Give me some bad news...
Did you know that Terry Schiavo finally died..?
She did? No! Not her! Why? WHY?? WAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA...
I better go buy some WD-40 before you freeze up like the Tin Man...

 

by edoggydog
4-30-05
Dude... Did you check out the comics in today's newspaper? I've been robbed!
Groovy!
Uh, not "groovy", you moron! Today's "Frank & Ernest" [dated 4/30/05] is almost identical to my "Groovy! 212" comic, which I wrote on 4/25/05! That sumbitch Thaves copied my shit!!
Well... Y'know, he probably wrote that one at least one month ahead of time. So, looks like he thought of it first...
First, shmirst! I'm still going to subplant a virus in his website!! Open up and take it all in, bitch!!! POW!! GA-GA-GA-GA-GA-GA!! BOOM! YO' ASS IS MINE, BEE- YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-OTCH!!
I didn't realize cartoonists were such spazoids...

 

by edoggydog
5-01-05
Dude... I've re-checked the map, and I'm positive this is the place!
Groovy!
I say we wait right here until they show up...
Are you sure they'll come? I don't see anything!
Yes, I'm sure! We just have to signal them to let them know we're here! Now, repeat after me: "BEE, BEE, BEE, BO, BOOOOOP"!
Uh, dude... "Close Encounters" was just a movie!

 

by edoggydog
5-01-05
...police confirm that the kdnapping of Jennifer Wilbanks was all a hoax. She perpetrated the hoax to avoid her upcoming wedding, not comsidering the devastating effect it would have on her fiancee.
Groovy!
When Ms. Wilbanks arrived at the Atlanta airport, she was greeted by her emotional fiancee, John Mason. After a quick peck on the cheek, Mr. Mason precede to choke her stupid ass...
...in front of friends and family, who joined in and beat the living crap out of her. Ms. Wilbanks pleaded to the police for help, to wit they responded, "Who gives a rat's ass!" and walked away...
Love, American style!

 

by edoggydog
5-01-05
Groovy!
You said it, brother... She's hot!
Why don't you go talk to her!
I will, I will! Give me a minute. I'm almost done...
Doing what?
Playing "pocket pool"...

 

by edoggydog
5-02-05
Groovy!
Presidente Bush and I are here at the U.S./Mexico border to announce we have come to an accord on the crossing of my people into Atzlan- uh, California...
Okay, let's hear this "caca de toro"...
We have developed a programa that we call, "Mira en la Otra Direccion", a.k.a. "Look the Other Way"... I will now turn the mike over to mi bitchito, Presidente Bush..
"The quick, brown Fox jumped over the lazy Bush."
Grassy-ass, President Fox! Now that we've settled the problem of illegal imigranation, we must work on privamatizing Social Security...

 

by edoggydog
5-02-05
...so, then I shut my eyes, and concentrate very hard... Right now I'm thinking of rainbows and butterflies...
Groovy!
...bubbles floating in air, a green field with purple flowers...
Wow!
...and a swirl of red and blue for the sky...
This telekinesis shit really works!

 

by edoggydog
5-02-05
Dude... I need a minute for my head to stop buzzing. Then, I can go over the schematics for your hoop-dy...
Groovy!
Man... I have got to stop drinking so much on the weekend!
What all did you have?
Two triple-lattes, one capuccino with an espresso shot, four double mochas with whipped cream, three decafs, and, let's see... Oh, yeah... Seventy-two Red Bulls...
Dude... Call me when you've stopped shaking like small dog shitting a peach pit...

 

by edoggydog
5-02-05
Yo.. Dis be number two-fitty for "Groovy!"... Props to you for making it dis far, my French-looking, fag-boy brothah! Fo' shizzle...
Groovy!
But, now to your problema at hand. You say you don't have a gift for yo' daddy's birthday... I say you take your first two hundy and fitty cartoons and create a comic book. What say you, me bizzle?
Works for me, Huggy Bare...
And, yo, home-grown, you can name da book, "Groovy! - The First Two-Fitty"... Word on da street is it'll make a great Father's Day gift, too! So, sell the sizzle! I'm out, wet drizzle...
Pimp it, baby! Pimp it!! Now, 'scuze me while I go pizzle!

Showing page 5.

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