All comics by PrimoOoze1138

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by PrimoOoze1138
9-04-08
So tell me, Josh... You got a girlfriend? Oh of course you do. How old is she?
Um...
Don't say 'old enough'...
Don't say 'old enough'...
Seventeen.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-04-08
Alright, Josh.
What do you think your girlfriend would say if you came home and told her you turned down a good deal from a hot salesgirl for a year's supply of my skin lotion?
She'd probably say, "Good." She doesn't want me smelling like her anyway.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-04-08
How much do you think this stuff might cost?
25 dollars?
25? pffft, you're funny. Tell ya what I'm gonna do... Since I like your face, I'm gonna let you have this for just $39.99.
For a jar of seaweed gak and table salt?
How about I just go dunk my head in the ocean...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-07-08
Captain's log: Stardate 2994.5. My crew and I have passed through what we believe may have been a ribbon in time.
There's no telling WHEN we might be!
Captain, I'm picking up a 9.2 on my Mag-nan-o-meter...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-08-08
My consultant and I both agree that you have an acute case of too much red hair.
Consultant? There was nobody in the examining room but us...
...lol, so then she says, "There was nobody in the examining room but us..."
*sigh* Let me put this in terms you'll understand...
I'm. Imaginary.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-08-08
Do you think I could get a second opinion?
Sure. I'll send him right in.
lol, she wants to talk to you.
I got this...
...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-08-08
Ooh, he's gonna love this..
20 car pile-up? AWESOME!
Yeah. Filet mignon tonight, buddy. Well, for you at least.
...And then he skipped out of the room singing ♫Two for me, none for you!♫

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-09-08
So, like, what's the difference between these two power cords?
One of them is more expensive.
...
...Next.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-15-08
Hey man, what's up with all these different versions of the Star Wars DVDs?
Lucas just fucking looooooooooooves money, I guess.
Man, every time I think about it, it gives me AIDS.
...Every time? Really?
Yeah, man.
Jesus, you must have Super-AIDS by now or something.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-29-08
Tall Tales, also known as shocker
Two in the plain...
...One in the pain.
John Smith vs Pow Man
Are you a bad enough dude to take my daughter, Pocahontas back to England?
Sure, I guess...
Don't Wake the Mads!
GODDAMMIT, FRANK! PUSH THE BUTTON!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-30-08
I was up until the wee hours of the morning writing a paper for the next day's class. I got zero sleep.
By the time class rolled around, very little of what the professor was saying was even registering.
And so in 1624, a bunch of really cool shit happened in James towne...
Words, words, words, words, words, words, wo..
Wake up! I haven't told you about Pow Man yet!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
9-30-08
A week before I moved out, my roommate decided to live on our couch and watch tv all day. He literally stayed there until I moved out and took the TV with me.
Hey, Captain Vacuum, could I maybe use my TV sometime in the next week?
Perhaps. Perhaps not. The Captain is very busy perusing all the riff-raff that infests our basic cable package. Try again tomorrow, kind knave.
Next on Lifetime: Another episode of Wife Swap!
FEH!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
10-05-08
The Captain insisted on putting curry in everything he cooked. Which meant that our apartment smelled like curry every single day.
So what's for dinner tonight, Captain?
I happen to be preparing a meat loaf, with a curry-flavored cheese sauce. You can partake of it if you so desire. If you do, dishwashing becomes YOUR responsibility!
Right. I think I'll just order some Chinese...
Yes, have the Orientals bring you your dinner, you lazy git. Real men prepare their own meals!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-18-09
Pee-yew!
InfoCow, why dat pile be all stank?
My dear, that's compost. It's full of manu--
I know what it is! But why it gotta be all stank?
...because I shat in it, maybe?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-18-09
InfoCow, what's Infocom?
Well, my boy, Infocom was a software developer that pioneered the art of text-based computer games.
What are text-based computer games?
Text-based games are games that put all the boredom & monotony of reading a book into a medium that's inherently visual and twice as much fun as actual reading.
Sorta like really wordy comics?
Precisely.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-18-09
So I'm watching the local news, and there's this story about a sci-fi convention in town over the weekend. And who do you think shows up?
Authorities are still unsure as to why the hotel civic center ignited...
So you just left them all to burn in the dealer room?
Talent before age, beauty and all that garbage, I say.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-17-09
You know what movie I wanna see in 3D? Batman.
I'll be walkin' down the street or some shit and some nigga be all like:
Hey man, whatchu up to?
And then I'll be all:
Nothin' much, muthafucka. Just watching Batman in THREE DEE!
Dag, yo.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-18-09
You said "diet", right?
Diet Rite?
No, no. Diet Coke .
...What?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-22-10
So, uh...Any chance we might get some new comics in the next...let's see...ever?
I'm kinda busy. Come back when I'm procrastinating on my master's thesis or something.
Eh, what the hell.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-22-10
You ever wonder what Jesus would've asked for for his birthday?
Not lately.
He probably would have asked for something like a new pair of sandals or more loaves & fish or something.
If he were smart, he'd have asked to have been the only Yuletide holiday figure around.
Do you think Santa could've brought him that?
Right after promising Frosty he'd never melt, sure.

Showing page 6.

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