All comics by RandomComicLayoutGuy

Profile

 

What's wrong?
My nuts hurt! Ow! Ow! Ow!
How can that be? I didn't see a coconut fall on them, or a witch fly into them...
I think I got an STD from you!
Really? Sorry!
Thanks a lot, mom!

 

One, two, three, four...
...five, six, seven, eight...
...NINE! Daaaaaaaaammmn!!

 

There's one certainty in life...
It's much easier to let the cat out of the bag, than to put him back in!
Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, alcoac14!

 

What am I?
Are you STOOPID?
I'm a fuckin' RODEO CLOWN, you moron!

 

AAAAAAAAAAA!!
I think I'm dying!
*gasp*
How you like me now, bitch?

 

Wow, Snookums!
You really outdid yourself!
I thought the shit you took on the porch here was big, but the one you left on RedfeatheR's lawn across the street is fuggin' HUGE!!

 

So, TOBOR... Would you like a cup of my freshly brewed coffee or not..?
TOBOR..?
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Should I take the fact of you peeing all over my back that your answer is "no"?
DING! DING! DING! TELL HIM WHAT HE'S WON, JOHNNY!!

 

So, Sven... What's it like being a REAL viking?
It's fuggin' awesome, Jon! I love it when we attack a port town, raping and pillaging everything in sight!
Wow..!
But, mostly, I like the raping aspect. Speaking of which... How's moms?
How's my mother? I can't believe you mention her while talking about rape! You know, I have a name for a man like you...
It should be "dad", or didn't moms tell you, son..?

 

DY...
...NO...
...MYYYYYYTE!!

 

Damn, Shaq!
Why don't you watch where you're going?
You poke me right in my eyes with that thing!
Sorry...

 

HEY, GUYS!
...AAAAAAAAAAAAA...
COME CHECK THIS OUT!!
...AAAAAAAAAAAAA...
GUMBY JUST CAUGHT HIS GIRLFRIEND, GOO, IN THE SHOWER WITH POKEY!
...AAAAAAAAAAAAA...

 

RRAAARRRRR!!
TOBOR WILL NOW- uh, what the hell are you doing?
I figure I should stretch before you cornhole me!
SCORE!

 

Hmmm...
I guess the school bus ain't coming today...
Darn!

 

Hey, Sal...
Yeah, Morty?
Where you going?
Uhhhh...nowhere.
Get your ass back over here!

 

Now, I'll make Tweety reappear... SHA-ZAAAAM!
SHA-ZAAAAAAAM..! SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHA-FUCKING-ZAM!
Shit!

 

Hey, Maynard! The tractor pull starts in fifteen minutes... Whatcha doing?
Fucking! I'll be done in a minute... By the way, my sister's coming!
I thought she doesn't like tractor pulls?
I wasn't referring to that...
Snap!

 

Hey, Tardoy...
NO WATER FOR YOU TODAY, LENNY!
Okayyy...
IT'S MINE! AAAAALLL MINE! MINE!!
Dude... You need help!
MINE!!!

 

Hey, J.C.!
Yes, Brad..?
Remember how you said it be a cold day in Hell before you let me into Heaven?
Uh, yeah..?
Well, it's f-f-fucking f-f-freezing down there!
Dammit!

 

GAH! Your'e a spaceman from Earth, right?
Yes...
Are you going to cornhole me now?
Don't be ridiculous!
What? Am I not pretty enough?
?

 

You're GAY, aren't you?!
Yeah... So, what?
Uh... Well... Ummm...
Pull my finger?

 

I did this all for you, Roger!
Really? All for me? Why, Chathullah (or however you pronounce your name)?
Because I love you, Roger!
Well, that's nice and all... But, the truth is I'm seeing someone else, and-
I don't know what I'd do if you told me you didn't love me, too!
[GULP!]

 

Junior here is my only assignment...
...so, I've gotta follow his stoopid ass around for the next eighty or so years!
Fuck!
Goo?

 

I don't believe this!
They busted ME for breaking and entering!
I'M SANTA CLAUS, FOR FUCKSSAKES!!

 

So, let me get this straight...
We'll win the war on terrah if we invade Iraq, while leaving our own borders wide open for terrorists to come waltzing in, right?
Yessum!
Okayyy..?
Why is this so hard for people to understand?

 

We meet again, Wong Foo!
You want a piece of me?
I already took a piece from you last time! Remember?
Oh, yeah... Shit!

 

OUCH!
My nuts hurt, yet you never touched them! How'd you do that?
Never under-estimate the power of the TIKI! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]
Cocksucker!

 

So, Angel... You say we are witnessing the birth of our Lord and Savior...in a manger of all places..?
Yessum!
Then, in about thirty-five years, he's going to be crucified by Romans and buried in a cave, only to reappear three days later..?
You got it!
Does this make ANY sense to you?
Trust the process, donkey-boy!

 

Oh... That street looks really dangerous! Sir, would you be so kind as to help me-
GO FUCK YOURSELF, GRANDMA!!
Wow! Chilvary really IS dead!

 

OUCH!
Oh, I get it! Ol' Gabe got nailed in the nuts again! Ha, ha! Very funny!
Why don't you all go [oomph] fuck yourselves!

 

Find anything?
Not yet...
Them gall-durn WMD's have to be somewhere!
Okayyy... But, why are we looking on the beach here in Aruba?
Because we've already looked every place else!
We have a better chance of finding Natalie Holloway!

 

So, then I says, "Those ragheads in turbins aren't going to generate GRAVITAS by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

CAAAAAAAAAAAA...
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
...ATCH ME!!

 

Who let the bird out?
Ho...ho, ho...
...ho, ho!

 

Well...
The GOOD NEWS is...
...the bathroom's finally unoccupied!

 

WHEN TOBOR IS DONE PEEING...
...TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!
Coo'!
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
He did say "cornrow"?

 

...and, this is the company kitchen.
Great! I can use the stove to sterilize my self-mutulation needles...

 

In a Tijuana jailhouse, circa 1987...
I'm soooooo sorry, Dubya!
You said it's legal here, Vincente!
Just give the police chief a five thousand dollar bribe, and it'll be like it never happened...
I know... I ain't worried about that! It's those pictures you took of me and the donkey. If, those ever get out...
Trust me, my friend! They're safe with me... (heh, heh, heh)
Grassy-ass!

 

RRAAAARRRR!!
TOBOR WILL NOW CORNHOLE THE PORTHOLE!!
HA, HA! TOBOR IS A POET, AND TOBOR DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT!!

 

AAAAAAARRGGHHH!!
EVERYONE'S DEAD! NO ONE LEFT FOR TOBOR TO CORNHOLE!!
Hmmm...
[gulp]

 

...Bo Derek, Bo Diddly, Bo Jackson...
...Bo Schem-bechler, and Bo Svenson. Sorry. No, listing for Bo Peep...
Damn! I am really LOST!
I didn't know there's a peep show downtown! Hubba, hubba!

 

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Pink donkey!
"Pink donkey" who?
Take a wild fucking guess!
Waffles!

 

Relax, Gumby!
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
When I said Pokey "had a bug up his ass"...
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
...I was being metaphorical, not literal!
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

 

Hmmm...
Looks like I could use a pedicure...

 

Wow! I didn't know mom kept my cupie doll!
Gee... If, she could speak, I wonder what she'd say after all these years..?
I'd say you're still a fucking dweeb!

 

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Bossie, the interrupt-
MOO!
Fuck-face!
HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]

 

Hey, Clucky...
Hey, Frank... What's happening?
Just having a cup of my famous, freshly-brewed coffee! What's up with you?
Not much... Say, the wife laid a couple of extra eggs this morning. I could have her whip you up an omelette, if you'd like...
Ewww! That's gross, man!
Where do you think eggs come from, dumb ass?

 

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
I wonder if Bob Denver's still alive...

 

You're a pumpkin!
Thank's for noticing, Captain Obvious!
Don't mention it!

 

YAAAAAYYY!! WE'RE IN THE 300TH RANDOM COMIC LAYOUT!!
YAAAAAAAAYYY!!
Uh... Now what?
I haven't the foggiest...
YAAAAAAAAAYYY!!
YAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!

 

I've had enough of your shit, Smelty!
Put 'em up!
I have no arms...

Showing page 6.

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