All comics by bencomic

 

by bencomic
10-27-05
after "have i got news for you" finishes, tyrannous returns.
that was the funniest
i hate it when tyrannous likes the same things i like. stop it
i can like what the hell i want
no you can't
YES I CAN! YOU HAVE NO CONTROL, I STILL ENJOY IT
ZERO POWER NADIR! you probably like it for different reasons anyway

 

by bencomic
10-27-05
you're such a twat Nadir. thinking that you can control ME
tell ME what I can like and what ideals I can hold
"you think you can understand me, you think you know what i am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"all i hear, voices in my soul, all i know, i cannot control"
i do know what you are
a DEMON

 

by bencomic
10-31-05
WE FIGHT FOR THE COMMONWEALTH!
UNTIL WE BECOME A REPUBLIC!
i hope our republic is taken over by senator palpatine
i hope you eat a dick
me too!

 

by bencomic
11-05-05
i've seen care bears porn
it was funny because he ejaculated a rainbow
at the end of every rainbow is a wad of jizz

 

by bencomic
11-08-05
hey nadir http://img.photo bucket.com/albums/v117/Perceptionie/ burumaset2_1.jpg
is this a dickgirl
just look
no
goddamn it it's not a dickgirl just look
i don't trust you

 

by bencomic
11-08-05
about five minutes later:
nadir did you look
she has anime posters
yes. she also described herself as "the cutest dickgirl in dickgirl town" because she is in fact a dickgirl
i hate you
i am sorry i lied nadir

 

by bencomic
11-12-05
remember that one time ler skipped a date to play videogames?
remember that one time you got caught snorting nutmeg
remember that one time you threatened to break into your father's gun case to shoot yourself.
remember that one time you cut yourself and posted on your livejournal about it
remember that one time you had an anxiety attack because someone said something on irc, you filthy little faggot.
remember that one time you thought I was cool?

 

by bencomic
11-12-05
MEANWHILE IN #MZX:
http://mooseka.ww.com
WATCH MOOSE TAKE E FOR THE FIRST TIME
E?
What is E?
E-nlighten us.

 

by bencomic
11-23-05
Gofer drunk.
if you have a girl who you love treat her rigth and odnt dont not rtreat her right because thats not ok
ive had a coupoe drinks tonight and im going to bed :(
Crankgod drunk.
A DICTIONALRY WORD?? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT ISNT" A DICTIONARY WORD YOU DUMB FCK NG BITCH! maybe you mean you just FLIIPEED THE DICITONARY and FOUDN A BIG WORD AND USED IT A S A NICK SO YOU look spamert
MadTom drunk.
for example, i've only just noticed that i'm using the i without capitalising it
which I guess is pretty much unprecedented for me

 

by bencomic
11-26-05
i played a gig last night and my neck hurts like hell
see, heres where my nerdyness shows
insidious when does your nerdiness not show
I looked at burstroc's sentence in confusion for a minute because I thought "played a gigabyte?"
:P

 

by bencomic
11-29-05
I'm hearing someone masturbating and screaming as I listen to Ulver
A new genre is born
screamasturbating
fapmetal
KRAFTJERK - WANKENMELODIE
wankel-rotary engine

 

by bencomic
11-29-05
hahaha fapmetal
WHOAOAOR HAOHRAOHR OGHRAGHOR AOHGHORA
*fap fap fap fap fap fap*
it's like black metal except it's so hardcore the guy just jerks off really loud instead of drumming
it puts the hard in hardcore

 

by bencomic
11-29-05
he jerks off different guys for different beats
instead of growling or screaming there's moaning
the bass dude has a fat gut so it echoes when his hand hits his pelvis
it ends with them all cumming on a cymbal
for a SSsssssh shhshshshhh sound
and the last one has to eat it

 

by bencomic
11-29-05
...what
..ew
:(

 

by bencomic
12-28-05
all the automotive companies are like "duhh duhh hydrogen cars" but they've run out of time
they're all in a board room and wall trying to be the loudest person who can say "duhh duhh hydrogen cars" wearing suits and holding up pie charts
there are four parts to the pie charts, "a: DUHH"
"b: DUHH (phase 2)"
"c: HYDROGEN"
"d: CARS"
hahhahahaha
gentlemen we have noticed there is more duhh than hydrogen and cars combined, this presents a problem, i propose we initiate cutbacks in the duhh department
then everybody from the duhh department starts yelling "DUHH DUHH"

 

by bencomic
1-04-06
hahahaha nuero your house burnt down?
there was this kid i vaguely knew whose house burnt down
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA EURAKARTE THAT IS HILARIOUS. MY HOUSE BURNING DOWN IS HILARIOUS!!! GOOD SHOW
man i want you to lose everything you've ever owned. ever. THAT would be hilarious
=-= Mode #rawr +b Eurakarte!*Eurakarte@cloak-C36D61FB .hsd1.oh.comcast.net by nuero
nuero it wouldn't be funny if it happened to me

 

by bencomic
1-04-06
also that the hospital charges $143 every time they give you saline. which is salt and water.
that saline cost more than my morphine
and I liked my morphine a lot more.
oh god, it just doesn't stop. <Mooseka> "hurr my mom caught me doing drugs so due to my angst i took some drugs, which led to drugs and then i was in the hospital, the drugs were good though"
madtom i didn't say that EXACTLY
you didn't say 'hurr', i suppose

 

by bencomic
1-04-06
the first time i had periodsex it was funny
i was wearing a condom at at time
and i went down to take the condom off
and i threw out the condom like usual
and then i flipped the light on
and HOLY CRAP MY HANDS ARE COVERED IN BLOOD

 

by bencomic
1-05-06
here in my car.
i kill your dad.
and your mother's a whore.
my cat is a dog.
i make song ^^
tommorow i will make an album on rockstar.

 

by bencomic
1-05-06
they need to make pornographic text adventures
BEDROOM: a large masterbedroom is here. it smells like a fish market.
a woman sits on the bed, legs spread wide.
LOOK AT TITS
they are quite large
TAKE TITS
you can't take that

 

by bencomic
1-05-06
there should be an episode of popeye where olive oyl puts one of those chastity ring things on popeye's dick
and like he wants to fuck some bitch while he's out at sea
and bluto's like ramming her in the ass and he's like "HAHAHA"
then popeye fuckin' eats spinach
and he punches bluto and his dick fuckin breaks out of that shit, like BLAM
and he fucks that bitch hard with his spinach-induced erection

 

by bencomic
1-30-06
i wish i were freud
crank i don't, he's dead
madtom good point
i wish crank were freud too

 

by bencomic
1-30-06
today's the birthday of a girl i like
quantum tell her you've got a very big present for her
and point to your crotch
:o
LATER THAT DAY
what the
;)

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
kgirl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.
(in the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke,
but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live...
...even though it meant that he would die. If u love any one this much...let them know...before its too late... I love you 4 ever.....and always 2 the end....i cant live without ya.....
b-cuz ur my friend..... Send this to 10 ppl in the next 5 min....and....u will get kissed on friday by the love of your life... DONT BREAK THIS . 2morow will be the best day of your life.

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
i made this drawing of a girl and i printed it out and put it on my wall
and i keep looking up at it and going like 'damn i hope girls like that exist'
admit it, you drew it to jerk off to it
no! if it puts it into perspective for you there is also a jay naylor-esque cat in a burzum shirt playing a guitar
yeah, that gives me a whole lot of perspective.
... i didn't mean it like that

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
moonpie, just tell your friend you couldn't get him the wiki data because you were too busy getting stoned. he'll understand.
aplsos i actually do understand, because last night i too was one baked cookie.
oh man, i want to bake some COOKIES
... OH MAN!!! OH MAN.
OKAY I'M DOING IT

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
... why do I have unicorn porn

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
fura there are like 10 somethingawful goons at your school
i go to one of the biggest nerd schools in the country
you are not on the list though
neither is the other goon on my floor
reveal yourself to the world, fura. maybe one of the goons is a girl, or a guy who will post the next thread about going on hormones.
yeah and maybe it'll be that god damn harlot who pinched my ass last night

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
i go to a poker game last night with a pal of mine who is named pete. pete loses, he leaves, a while later i lose and i leave.
and i'm making the long cold walk back to the dorms when i pass a group of giggling, twittering girls.
and i'm a short distance ahead of them when i hear footsteps fast approaching behind me but think nothing of it

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
then one of the filthy whores PINCHES MY ASS
AHHHH
*grab*
and runs back to the group all giglging
ahahahahha
"ha ha ha i'm a dumb cunt"
i should have punched her in the GOD DAMN FACE

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
MEANWHILE IN #MZX:
ARRRRRRRR
MIPS BUS ERROR
GHRGHGHHH!!!!!!!!!!! HAAATE

 

by bencomic
2-03-06
you know what would be fun? when people have their big like, aborted fetus posters and stuff, at anti-abortion rallies
just print out something NASTY, a HUGE picture, i guess pain4 or lemonparty or something but if anyone has a better idea then that works too
and just give it the caption "HEY THIS PICTURE IS PRETTY FUCKING GROSS TOO"
good idea
one time zamros hit on the idea of going to an anti-government rally in a shirt with george bush smiling on the front
no caption, just george bush, smiling

 

by bencomic
2-04-06
* nps [ SOUND wonkablueberry.wav ]
madtom i just remembered i downloaded all of that civ3 stuff
even though i only think civilisation is okay. building roads in between my cities isn't exactly my idea of time well spent in a game.
* nps [ SOUND ron.wav ]
madtom damn it
i bet you're jerking off to burzum again. and as hot as that is i want to talk now
...fine! i'm a busy man! games to play, dicks to jerk! until next time
* nps has quit IRC (Quit: QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART)

 

by bencomic
2-04-06
"men and the men who can vaguely recall them"
god, i'm obsessed with the word "men"
not just the word.
hey, i'm not like you! i'm not a queen
hey ando, you're GAY
no! :((((((((((((((((

 

by bencomic
2-04-06
you can usually tell which bencomics are madtom's because they're usually about jerking off or other penile functions
haha, this is true
interlude: LITTLE ASIAN GIRLS
i wonder if he's trying to tell us something
<:(

 

by bencomic
2-04-06
Hello drac0. Im doing an interview for WMZX.
I'd like to ask you what you think of the recent move to the slightly less stable espernet, and if you think Kracken may have been a bit tyrannic in this move.
GAY
in the right of censorship, i have to change GAY to STUPID.
im sorry for any inconvience this may cause
goodbye

 

by bencomic
2-05-06
my dad just walked in on me searching for black shemale porn, and he's like
"what the fuck are you doing."
searching for black shemale porn
and he's like "what the fuck is wrong with you" and he slapped me in the back of the head
and i was like "dude i gotta get off somehow, i've seen everything else", and he just kind of walked away

 

by bencomic
2-05-06
i used to have a bunch of dvds. then i sold them, to buy something that i also eventually sold.
the chain ended with me buying a bird, which is slightly harder to sell than any other thing.
you bought a bird? man. it's like, all we are here for is to make jokes. you say something that could potentially be a joke, which is the serve.
and then i set it up, get it up there and you spike it to the ground, creating the punchline. the other team laughs, and the joke is complete.
i spent $150 on a bird and its accoutrements

 

by bencomic
2-06-06
"come on children, let's all hear a story from grandpa zamros underneath the marijuana tree"
haha, the beautiful future
STARDATE: 2056
back in my day, pot could get you put in JAIL. thanks solely to me it's legal and awesome
grandpa did you ever go to jail
yes

 

by bencomic
2-06-06
<Nadir> !nadirbash
... no nadirbash
;_'
;_:-;-:_;-:_:_:_: --;:-;;--;;_::__ ::_:_:_;-;-_;- ;_:-;:--;; _-:;_::_ :_;-:_ : _;-;-_ :___::_:_; -;-:_:_;-_:- _:_::;--;;-;;___:;;;

 

by bencomic
2-06-06
i like to punch women during sex
and not during sex

 

by bencomic
2-08-06
i want a napoleon dynamite torrent.
hi i'm crank i'm an annoying freshman at my school that watches napoleon dynamite XD
>:| I'VE NEVER SEEN IT NUERO, THAT'S WHY I WANT A TORRENT TO DOWNLOAD IT!!!!!! HELLO!!! EARTH TO NUERO!!
earth to crank (you're your own planet (you're fat))))))
YOU CLOSED TOO MANY PARENTHESES THERE JACKASS
your fat filled in the rest

 

by bencomic
2-08-06
* zamroso has joined #rawr
zamros!!!! sup zamros
"i'm a retard and a fag"
oh that's nice zamros i'm glad to see that's working out for you

 

by bencomic
2-08-06
that was from nps' webpage
oh my god!! he ejaculated inside my vagina!!

 

by bencomic
2-08-06
There has got to be a grindcore band out there who use nursery rhymes as their lyrics.
DEATH METAL: jhhhhhoock uuuuhhhhnnnd jheeeeeeaall whuuuuuuunnnnnnntt uhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrp the huuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllll
to feeeehhhhtch a buuhhhhckuuuhhttt of wuuuuuhhhhhh-tuuuuhhhhhhh
BLACK METAL: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG
POWER METAL: JAAAAAck and Jill went UPPPP the HiIlIliIIlllL to fetch their bucket of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by bencomic
2-09-06
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
HALF LIFE 2 GOES GOLD ON MONDAY
NERDGASM HERE I CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm

 

by bencomic
2-11-06
...also i've been up all night so i'll probably just sleep through it. or maybe i'll bring along a notebook so i can finish my NOVEL
lemmer is it azumanga daioh fanfiction
...oh shit :( YEAH WELL MAYBE I WASN'T SATISFIED WITH THE LEVEL OF SAKAKI NUDITY IN THE CANON TIMELINE (READ: NONE)
MAYBE SOMEONE HAS TO CHANGE THAT

 

by bencomic
2-11-06
the thing with D&D is, that if madtom and i were just that little bit nerdier, we'd probably play it.
i'd consider playing dungeons and dragons if it had POP-O-MATIC 20 SIDED DICE
i'd consider playing dungeons and dragons if i was invited to a dungeons and dragons party where everyone was good looking and naked
and we had a big orgy both before and after we played the game.

 

by bencomic
2-11-06
MEANWHILE IN #MZX:
...i don't think i'll ever be able to go to a movie theater ever again after seeing the garfield trailer.
i will but only if it can be proven that that film was never shown there, ever. it is a monstrocity
Make an mzx game where you are Odie trying to get even with Garfield >=)
frobozz, you're not making this tragedy any easier on us. :(
It's better than sitting on your butt complaining about the Garfield movie :P
no, no it isn't.

Showing page 6.

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