All comics by bigworm

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by bigworm
7-22-10
I'm gay because I'm a fag? That's very funny!!! Ha Ha Ha!
To you maybe.

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Father, you're leading me in a circle.
Life is a circle...
...jerk.

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Please Father, lead me to the answer.
How 'bout if I lead you to some water?
Is the answer in the water?
No, but at least you can wash the taste of cock outa' your mouth!

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Father, regarding the fact that I'm gay... do I please you?
Well...
...I'm waitin'!

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Guide me Father.
Assume the position!
?!!!
Not THAT one you idiot!

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Can one enter the kingdom of heaven if one has committed beastiality?
It's not that simple.
Did you fuck a pig or a sheep?

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
AYE YI YI!!! DIOS MIO!!! I think something weird happened to me during my siesta!!
You got some sauce around your mouth!
Enchilada sauce?
More like 'thousand islands' bro'!
*Whew*... I guess it wasn't so weird after all.

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Just a minute homey! How did I get 'thousand islands' dressing around my fucking mouth?
Bro'...!!!
I think you answered your own question!

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Just a minute here!!! Where were you when I was taking my siesta?
I was here the whole time!!! I didn't see anything wierd happen to you while you were sleeping!
You mean you were awake when I took my siesta?
No, I was asleep too!!!
*Whew!!!* For a minute there, I thought it might be you!
*Whew!!!* Me too!

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Hey bro... *slurpista, slurpista*, this shit don't taste like 'thousand islands' dressing!
Maybe you ate a fish taco, and that's tartar sauce?
What the fuck kind of fish taco you talking about anyway bro'?
uhhh...
...trout?

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
Are you trying to tell me something bro'?
Well... I guess so.
So, what is it?
Ok... for one thing...
...your teeth are too damn big!

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
WHAT?!!! My teeth are too big?!! You only think that because you tried to jam your fucking prick in my mouth when I was sleeping.
You asked me if I had something to say to you! So... I said it.
That's really great! Got anything else to say?
I suppose... maybe.
What the hell more have you got to say?!!
Only that I was able to get it all the way in your mouth.

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
So when I was asleep you stuck your dick in my mouth. Then you dribbled your tartar sauce all over it! I can't believe it!!! WHY?!!!
WHY?!!!
Yes...WHY?!!!
...cus I didn't know if you wanted to swallow it or not!

 

by bigworm
7-22-10
I don't have a whole lot more to say on the subject, but the fact that you did what you did to me when I was asleep is the worst part.
I agree.
So you're sorry?
I'm very sorry!
I'm gonna' wake you up for sure next time.

 

by bigworm
7-23-10
So... what was it you fucked, pig or sheep?
It was a sheep.
Were you wearing rubber boots?
No... why?
They just make the procedure a whole lot easier.

 

by bigworm
7-23-10
Father, regarding the question "be it a pig or sheep"...
Did you fuck a pig too?!!
No, I did not!
Well then... you're in the clear!
What's your view on oral sex?

 

by bigworm
7-23-10
Yes Father, I had oral sex with a pig.
Are you tellin' me you got one of them springy-ass, cork-screw pig's dick all in your mouth?!!
Just the tip...
...I swear!

 

by bigworm
7-23-10
I'm a little worried that you're gonna' take this animal thing too far!
Alright.
It's forbidden to fuck a cow!!!
I hear you.
They're strictly for fistin'!!!

 

COCK
by bigworm, 7-23-10

 

by bigworm
7-23-10
With his saddle under his arm, the boy/man stands alone on the prarie... wondering where the hell his horse went.
Where the hell did my horse went?
He was in a grave situation (what with all the gravity and whatnot, and him bein' the only one to use it). It made sense that he would gravitate to (i.e., be drawn towards), cows.
I'm gettin' the urge. I guess I'll go find me a cow.
And that's why they're called 'c-o-w-b-o-y-s'.
I told him more than once..."It's me or the strap-on vagina".

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
How about that blow-job?
Yeh, but why don't we try something new too?
Like what?
Like doggy-style, suspended from the cieling!
Sounds good to me! Go get yourself suspended doggy-style, and then suck my dick while yer hangin' there.
How 'bout if I just take a dump?

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
C'mon man, lemme borrow it!
Listen O.J., I told you already, I'm getting ready for my part as Jesus in tonight's play!
I hate to bring it up, but Jesus didn't get no nails hammered in his head!
...and O.J. didn't use a hammer that night either!

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
*sigh*
If I can't have some of your cone, Im gonna' cut myself!
That beats the shit outa' what I'm gonna' do to you!!

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
Let's go man, the house is empty!
No, someone might return anytime.
There's no fucking furniture, and no fucking people! I say we vamoose!!!
I guess you're right.
Lead the way.

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
I think I'm in a pure state of Zen.
Me too.
My chair doesn't even know I'm gone!
Wow, mine too!
not 'till you ass smell... like the oil from ambergris, perfumes roshi's nose.

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
Did you say you're gonna' take a dump?
Yup! If you're not up for anything new, then I'm just gonna' go take a dump!
Not so fast there little lady!
A blow-job while you're dumpin' sounds new to me!

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
You are in a fucking RUT!!! Didja' know that???!!!
Hell yeh I know that!!!
How in the hell didja' get there anyway?!!!
BLOW-JOBS BITCH!!! BLOW-JOBS!!

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
So, is that the 'Green Goddess'?
Yes, ketamine hydrochloride.
What are the scissors for?
Nothing really...
...just a little something to keep the balls rolling.

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
Did someone you know die here honey?
Yeh...
I wish I could do something to make you feel better. How about a hug?
I'd appreciate it...and then afterwards maybe I could suck your tits?

 

by bigworm
7-24-10
You're just plain old RUDE!
Believe me, I'm not! I do admit however, that I have a rude sense of humor.
So, you're really polite huh? Prove it.
May I push your stool in for you?
Oh my, what a gentleman!
And would you please lick the poop off after I'm done?

 

by bigworm
7-25-10
What's up? You said you were gonna' call at 5:30
It turned out I had a little more energy than I expected.
Listen... that's all well and good, but my livlihood is based on my clients committments.
I understand.
Then why are you jackin' me around? Doesn't my hand do a good job for you?
Sometimes I just need the 'hand of the master'.

 

by bigworm
7-25-10
So, are you up for a little bit of fun?
Sure, but it's gonna' take a lotta' heat to make this worm dance! So, hit the lights and spark up yer torch!
*FAA-WHOOOMP*!!! YEEOOWWWW!!! Turn that shit OFF!!!
Was it good baby?
C'mon now darlin', give the worm time to smoke.

 

by bigworm
7-25-10
Can I get off of this cross?
Can I get off on this cross?
Can I get off of this cross?
Can I get off on this cross?
"My Kingdom of Heaven...
...for a deserted island!"

 

by bigworm
7-25-10
Father, why have you brought me to this river?
Well, I'm gonna' pan for gold...
...and I thought you might like to watch...
...since you're not much on helpin' these days.

 

by bigworm
7-25-10
Father! Why have you brought me to this den of iniquity?
Don't worry... you'll find out in a minute.
You won't suck him off for $20.00?
I told you... $30.00.
Why am I here?
When she's done, wipe your cock on the drapes!

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
Woke up this mornin' feelin' fine, but now there's crucifixition on my mind. The Romans came to get me, say they're gonna' nail me to a cross! Whoa yeh! Oo-ee,
Somethin's wrong here, I thought I was the boss!!
Then I heard my dad was in on it, the first chance I get I'm gonna' wring his tit. I asked him for a fiberglass cross, but they got me wood.
(I asked for fiberglass, but they got me wood). Something's wrong here, my dad did less than he could.
I only tore down a temple or two, but what's the matter with that, they're run by Jews.
Can't even get my dick in my hand, and this is gonna' be a 3-night stand!

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
How about a nice juicy blowjob before work?
How much?
$20.00.
errr...
How much for a mediocre dry, after work?

 

Jerk me OFF!
by bigworm, 7-26-10

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
Like I said, I was the first one to discover my mortally wounded grandma, all crouched over and lookin' at her hole, and whatnot.
Grandma!!! What's wrong?!! Why are you all crouched over lookin' at your hole and whatnot? And where's my fuckin' star?!!
If it was up yer ass you'd know!!!
I mean, I loved her and all that you know, but she never shoulda' said that shit to me. But did she shut the fuck up? NO!! She continued on, severly compromising her chance to live any longer!
Where'd you say my star was??!!!!
It's that shiny, five-pointed, motherfuckin' object hangin' out the back of my fuckin' neck, you fuckin' jerk-wad!!!
The only reason I even asked about the star was to be polite. That's when she got all up in my face. That's when it turned into a kind of a tragedy I guess you could say.
Why'd you go and curse me like that for? You gonna' pay for that shit!!! *stab stab stab, slice, slash, slice again and again, stab a few more times, rip rip, rip rip, rrrrippp, rrrippity doo-dah*

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
A 'mediocre dry', afterwork blowjob is $20.00, just like a 'nice juicy', before work blowjob.
Hells Bells!!! That ain't fair!!
What's up with you anyway?!!! You know I gotta' make a livin'!
I know baby, but all I got's $10.00!
*slurp slurp.............. slurp...... slurp slurp slurp......... slurp slurp* *jigga jigga, jigga jigga* *spurt spurt, spurt spurt spurt* *dribble dribble dribb...* *drop, dribb-drop, dribb-drop*
I'll take another dime on my way home!

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
Did you just piss on that flower?!!!
No sir!
*GULP*!
And I didn't shit on it a couple of days ago either!

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
Are you responsible for that pile of turds down there?
I see a lot of turds down there... which ones are you talking about?
The ones at the base of your cross!
Well yeh... I'm pretty sure I did those.
I want you to know that you're doing a good job!
Thanks... I can use all the non-wooden support I can get.

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
What's the buzz, tell me what's a- happenin'! What's the buzz, tell me what's a-happenin'!
Why should you want to know?
Hey... go get a pencil and paper.
I think we could write 'Rock Operas' together!

 

by bigworm
7-26-10
How many years have we been doin' this now?
Jeez... you tell me!
However long it is, I don't know... but one thing I do know is we're gonna' have to cut your nose in half before we celebrate this year!
Why? What's wrong with my nose?
It slips up my fuckin' ass every time we '69!

 

by bigworm
7-27-10
I'm going to suck your blood!
No... please don't!
Spread your legs!
YUCK! That's dirty stinking blood!
OK! Let's start over.

 

by bigworm
7-27-10
'TAKE' 2!
I'm going to suck your dirty stinking blood!!!
Oh, please don't!
So spread your legs!
But my pussy is still crusty from last month!
Let's try this one more time.

 

by bigworm
7-27-10
'TAKE' 3!
I'm gonna' suck your dirty stinking blood... but not from your monthly encrusted dirty stinking pussy.
Aaaiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!
Instead, I'm going to drink it... uhh, uhh, umm...
psst! You're supposed to say "From a cup!"
Goddammit!! FUCK!!! I left the fucking cup at home!

 

'TAKE' 4!
Spread your legs bitch!! You know what I want!
Aaaiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!
by bigworm, 7-27-10

 

by bigworm
7-27-10
That's too bad if my nose goes up your ass when we 69! I can't let you cut any of it off!
But you could suck it off if you wanted to!
Ho!
You got that shit right!

 

by bigworm
7-27-10
Ok already!! I'll suck your carrot!

Showing page 6.

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