All comics by webspider

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Years of experience delivering mail on Butch's street taught Harold to always be on guard for suspicious activity. Fortunately, today everything was completely normal. Nothing to report.
by webspider, 8-11-12

 

And as Bill crawled weakly away in search of medical assistance, Butch realized his err; it was THREE clicks of the remote to disable lethality mode. TWO clicks was for immediate attack.
by webspider, 8-11-12

 

Normally, Butch tried to keep a neat and orderly office, but there were times when even he lost track of all the "temporary" employees running about...
Argh! Help me!
Oh Crap! Another wiggler! Damn you, Butch!
by webspider, 8-11-12

 

Now that Butch thought about it, did Henry say: "Butch, feed my plant" or was that "Feed me to your plant"? Better water his plant just to be sure.
by webspider, 9-08-12

 

Although some of the staff had differing opinions, Butch was certain that "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Tentacle" was going to catch on...
by webspider, 9-08-12

 

And that was how Butch showed the classroom that with just things found lying about in the kitchen, you could make a realistic looking Halloween costume...
by webspider, 9-08-12

 

Butch wasn't certain what angered him more, the fact that Harold was tying up the fax machine or the fact that Butch was way over his quota of necktie office machine "accidents"...
by webspider, 9-08-12

 

Either Butch was having that bacon dream again or there was definitely something in those office brownies...
by webspider, 9-08-12

 

Butch couldn't see what the fireman was all upset about. That cat couldn't have been safer up that tree. Afterall, Butch used the finest 3" spikes available at the hardware store...
by webspider, 9-08-12

 

...and that was the first and last time that XJ9 ever challenged Butch to a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Machette...
by webspider, 9-15-12

 

Meanwhile, in the Intern's Cubicle, the new guy realizes why they call Butch "Red Bull"...
So what happened to Butch's last intern? Did he get promoted up?
Sorta. Let's just say that bringing Butch decaf coffee can also give you wings.
by webspider, 9-15-12

 

by webspider
9-15-12
When Movie and TV Stars Meet...
Hey? I remember you from TV. Aren't you...?
Yup! Abe Vigoda!
They're just like you and me...
Yep!
And I recognize you too! Aren't you that black actor...? Morgan Freeman?
They get all their celebrity news from Facebook...
I thought you were dead!
I thought you were dead!

 

And that was when Butch realized that the librarian erred and gave him a copy of "How to vanquish a zombie mob" rather than "Team-building exercises for corporate retreats"...
by webspider, 9-16-12

 

Butch really appreciated that his co-workers were so considerate when it came to matters of office health...
Nope! Nothing wrong, Butch. Just a nasty cold bug going around. Can't be too safe, eh?
by webspider, 9-16-12

 

Some situations just defy explanation
It's hiding over there behind the desk. It has 8 legs and is so gross! Be a pal and get him for me?
by webspider, 9-18-12

 

"Get the canary." they said. "It won't eat much.' they said. Butch really should have listened to them instead of buying a Honey Badger as an office pet...
by webspider, 9-20-12

 

Butch often thought he should have gotten into Financial Services. He was very adept at cutting...
Sorry, Sir. Could you please repeat that last bit? I only got as far as "...and in closing, we'll have to cut funding to Butch's depa---ARRRGH!!!!"
by webspider, 9-20-12

 

Scissors beats Paper, Paper beats Rock, and Brass Knuckles pretty much beats everything...
by webspider, 9-20-12

 

Something told Butch that he should have stayed in bed today...
Hey Butch! Are you feeling okay? You don't look yourself this morning...
by webspider, 9-20-12

 

Although there were bound to be skeptics, Butch was certain that there was a market for Flesh-Eating-Nanobot Brand Cookies.
by webspider, 9-20-12

 

Butch hated it when his phone went off in the middle of a meeting. Now how many times did he taser Bill? 4, 5, 15?
by webspider, 9-20-12

 

Butch couldn't help it. It was the machine. Somehow it just knew!
Bzzt! Coin Detected In Pocket!!
by webspider, 9-20-12

 

The real reason why the error code doesn't say "hit" any key to continue...
by webspider, 9-21-12

 

If locking the heads of the union and management bargaining teams into the negotiation room didn't result in a contract deal, Butch bet those zombies he snuck in would!
by webspider, 9-21-12

 

Maybe the world wasn't ready for a WIFI hotspot hunting zombie robot. But at least it made a great cubical guard...
WIFI ! Brainz !
by webspider, 9-22-12

 

Butch liked working in a collaborative office environment. It gave him the ability to pick his cubical neighbours' brains...
by webspider, 9-23-12

 

Butch normally tried to suppress his baser instincts, but sometimes those urges had a way of rising up...
Hey Billy! Could you come out into the hallway for a moment? I want to play a game!
Butch, I already told you a half dozen times that I am not leaving my box of donut holes unguarded here...
by webspider, 10-01-12

 

It was two great ideas that were even better together. Now, if only Butch could find a good wig supplier...
Grrrr. Arrgh! Want Donut Holes!
by webspider, 10-01-12

 

Accessibility Legislation 101 - After reading 3000 pages of legislation, Butch figured it would just be easier to figure out a way to remotely kill all future visitors to the company website.
Hmm. New company domain name www.Visit-Our-Web-Site-And-You-Die.Com
Bzzt. Visitor GPS Tracking Activated!
by webspider, 10-01-12

 

Butch really didn't intend for this to happen, but what does a blind guy expect when he asks a socially mute fellow if it is safe to cross the street...
by webspider, 10-01-12

 

by webspider
10-10-12
There's a rumour that if you play the latest Justin Bieber CD a certain way, you'll hear scary sounds...
For instance, if you play it backward, you'll hear Satan!
What if you play it forward?
You'll hear Justin Bieber.

 

by webspider
10-10-12
So this place is amazing. Why would you possibly want to sell a sweet little cottage like this?
With the market bottoming out, I figured I best get out while I can still turn a profit.
Is that the real reason?
Well, that and the diabetes...

 

by webspider
10-11-12
Helpdesk Dreams
No Sir. It's not that type of "mouse"...
"Hello. Columbia Internet Helpdesk. How may I assist you?"
It's me again. I think I have another virus. That makes 10 times this month? I don't know how this is happening, I'm just clicking on things...
No problem mame. We'll send someone over right away.
Great! They'll fix up my computer? ................................ Oh my! Well, you ARE the experts.
No! They are coming over to destroy your computer. Sorry, it's the only way to be sure. ............................... Yes, Mame. Trust us, we know what we are doing...

 

by webspider
10-11-12
Brad, I feel ridiculous.
Dude! You look great!
Come on! A robot vampire? This has got to be the stupidest halloween costume idea. I'll be the laughing stock of the party!
Would you rather take off the robot outfit and go as Edward?
Well, we could always try the cyborg mummy outfit again...

 

by webspider
10-12-12
GRRR! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! GRRR! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
Who's making all that noise over there? Is that you again, puppy?
GRRRRR!
Oh my! Aren't we a ferrocious puppy dog! Well, I have something that will make you feel better.
Hey, I guess that old lady isn't so bad after all. This bone is great! It even has some fresh meat on it! Yum!
There's the killer, officer! There's that beast who killed my dear husband. Look! He's still gnawing on his bones! Go git em! In fact, shoot to kill!

 

Ever after a less than positive reaction from 147 focus group participants, Butch was still certain that there was a viable market for Pet Corpse...
by webspider, 10-12-12

 

by webspider
10-23-12
Team Building Exercise
Are you sure this is a good idea? I feel like an idiot.
You feel like an idiot? I should have gone with the zombie robot costume!
I don't want to pry, but you aren't supposed to be on some sort of medication by chance?
Trick Or Treat !
Aren't you all a bit too old for this sort of thing?
Listen, lady. Just hand over the candy and nobody gets hurt.

 

by webspider
10-23-12
Film at 11:00
Tonight's top story - police were called to a scene downtown after an alleged altercation involving ruffians attempting to mug a little old lady for her halloween goodies...
The hooligans managed to get away -- alibiet, empty handed after the little old lady turned out to be a 8th degree black belt karate instructor.
Witnesses to the attack said that they would have caught the confrontation on video, but they were laughing too hard to hold a phone straight...

 

by webspider
10-23-12
Team Building Exercise - Take II
Okay, guys. I think we lost her. Jeff, what the hell did you think you were doing back there?
I just wanted some candy...
Oh my gawd! That lady is a maniac! The way she kept coming at us!
I told you this was a bad idea. THIS is why adults and Trick or Treating don't mix...
Okay! New plan. We get a kid, or even better, a midget in a children's costume...
And people wonder why I prefer to work ALONE.

 

by webspider
10-29-12
..and now, the weather forecast...
So Hurricane Sandy has been making its way northward this week...
Much of the USA eastern seaboard is shut down, and heavy wind and rain is expected even into parts of Canada...
But the worst part of this storm is that Halloween Trick or Treating is going to be washed out! I HATE YOU, MOTHER NATURE ! ! ! ----------------------- It's not the same! *SOB!*
Come on, Dude. Let's just go buy some candy, okay?

 

by webspider
1-12-14
CAMPUS TOILET GHOST
Hey! Did you just pee on that stall's toilet seat? You better clean it up, that's disgusting! ---------------------- Well, I'm a toilet ghost and I kinda saw you do it...
What? How do you know it was me that peed on it? Maybe it was there before I went? -------------------- Toilet Ghost?
Yeah, I help keep this place safe from you ignorant little bastards. --- You better go clean it up, or there will be dire consequences...
Heh! As if! What are you going to do about it?
CONVOCATION DAY - 4 YEARS LATER..
..and that concludes our convocation program. There would be one more graduate, but he peed on a toilet seat one time...
Woot! Payback time you little bitch!!

 

by webspider
1-27-14
So it's a contract year and I hear that the union bosses are thinking that there may be a strike.
Yeah, well, you might want to keep that quiet for now. Last time, someone volunteered Butch for picket captain duty...
Well, I don't see the problem. We need good picket captains...
Well, I guess you kinda gotta know Butch...
...he puts the "pick" in Picket Line.

 

by webspider
1-28-14
THE END?
That's it. We've killed them all. That was the last of them on the planet.
Oh this is terrible! I just can't bear the thought of it...
What? You are suddenly feeling regret? They were barely human after all, they were TELEMARKETERS.
I know. That's the whole point...
Cheer up, I hear there may be some lawyers in LA... ------------------------ We can always hope...
I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN TO KILL THE LAST ONE OF THEM ! ------------------- Defence lawyers?

 

by webspider
1-31-14
Butch's Cubicle - 8:05 AM
Butch's Cubicle - 8:42 AM
Butch's Cubicle - 9:24 AM
Butch called in sick and said he'd reschedule your 8:15 disembowel--- er, performance review until sometime next week...

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